My ex has been saying he’s going to take me to court for over 2 years now. He hasn’t done shit. Doesn’t pay child support but I recently filed for it anyway. Filed in August still waiting for the verdict.
Child support and visitation are separate hearings. You can’t stop visitations set forth by the court due to owed child support. Every other weekend isn’t much time, but sometimes that’s all they get. No one should bash the noncustodial parent based on previous custody ruling by the judge. As long as she’s proven to be a fit mother she should have nothing to worry about. She needs legal aid if she can’t afford a lawyer, and could go no contact and the lawyers could speak for each party. Just file for child support and go through the hearing. Usually the state gets the paperwork started when assistance is needed for the custodial parent, like insurance and SNAP benefits. The absent or noncustodial parent is listed and child support is filed through the county of residence and through the state. Once granted, if he fails to make payments his wages will be garnished. They will handle everything and send paperwork or court dates to show up and go before the judge if needed.
1 Like
Tell her to hit up every lawyer around. If they talk to her about the case (even if she doesn’t hire them) before they talk to him, he can’t hire them.
**Or so I’ve gathered reading other people’s posts about situations like this
1 Like
Keep track of everything
From conversations
To meet ups
To meet ups that didn’t go as planned
To what she does pay for
Everything
1 Like
Maybe she is a crappy mom, and he’s a shitty dad. Who knows. I don’t believe these he said, she said stories. Hire a lawyer. Plain and simple
She filed the courts will see that as retaliation
3 Likes
He will never get full custody unless he is able to prove her unfit and he won’t be able to do that. Child support is handled separately from custody. Tell her to continue doing exactly as she plans and not to listen to anything he says
5 Likes
I live in a state where you can have 50/50 and still have to pay child support haha
2 Likes
I’ve been EXACTLY here. My kids dad was/is very abusive. LISTEN!! 
the absolute best advice to start with is BREATH 
Trust me! They all use this exact line on us. YOU HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
Unless you are homeless he will absolutely never win this. It’s extremely difficult and rare for the father to be seated soul custody. They will see you’ve been their provider. Mine was even told to shut up. “If you want to complain take that to family court” we were only there for child support and he kept shouting all these “awful things” I’ve done. 
ANYWAYS. It’s going to be ok, I promise. Make sure your house is clean, fridge isn’t empty and a have a physical address, and the kids are clean and clothed. that’s mainly it. That way it’s easier(reliable) proof for court. Ignore him! Cold turkey. There’s zero reason to speak unless it’s necessary and for the kids. Tell him to only contact via email from this day forward, and only about the kids.
Good luck hun. It will get easier soon! One love 
She won’t lose the kids. He will soon realize it is cheaper to pay child support than to have the kids and pay for everything himself.
6 Likes
My advice is the judge will not take her kids from her for one she’s been their main provider for 3 years without his help, he has to prove she’s unfit so she doesn’t have anything to worry about there but also she needs to keep any messages print them out before court and keep documents of any and everything like a calendar or notebook with dates like 12/15/21 met with grandma to drop kids off for father to see at such and such time and picked up such and such date at this time anything the kids tell her about what happened at dads if their old enough and even dates and times of messages and what was said. That’s what I was told to do when I went through custody with my ex husband.
3 Likes
Ok so he’s been an absent parent for 3 years basically, paying no support and not really a part of his kids’ lives, but he is gonna get them in court? Lol. There should be groups in your area to help people with legal issues who struggle financially. She needs to contact them. Also she should contact the clerk of court to see what can be filed on him bc of the abandonment. She doesn’t need to ask clerk for legal advice (they can’t provide) , just forms. And once she’s filed those papers, only then should she tell him to be expecting subpoenas for his financial and earning statements. Let’s see how fast his attitude goes from superior to begging for her to work with him. Believe me, I’ve been there. Good luck.
2 Likes
The judge will always takes the mothers side and always give the children to the mother unless she is an unfit mother then thats only way the father can get custody. It sounds like this guy is trying to scare her then she will not ask for child support for his children. I would recommend stand her ground against him and still take him to court for child support.
3 Likes
First of all, if she is a good mother she has nothing to worry about. If he has any dirt on her, rest asssured he will use it. Child support and custody are 2 different things. I am pretty sure he is just saying that to scare her. If he only takes them 2 weekends in a month, thats only 4to 6 days a month. If he aint helping out now, he most certainly wont want to take them full custody. He would have to give up a lot. Which based on his selfish ways of not spending much time w his kids already chances are he wont like that part. Keep up with child support. Write down everything he says, does. And also list your expenses because once you file they will ask you for that. Shecan call legal aid and see if they have someone to help.
1 Like
He’s basically already set up his own visitation schedule. The court is not going to change that. Save all communications.
She has nothing to be scared about money does not buy custody if shes a good mom and financially supporting her children by herself once she lets the judge know hes reason for wanting custody judge will make him pay all the back child support and some trust me she will not have her kids taken.
Keep documentation most import, don’t back down for anything, get attorney through mid penn legal, i had to fight 2 long years living here in blair county but fight through dauphin county courts where original order was but i won don’t give up
If she’s a great mom no lawyer in the world can get the kids removed.
Tell her he is only trying to manipulate her and scare her…she has been sole provider and care taker for her children and she can prove that.Tell her to meet his a** at the courthouse and tell him to kiss her a** when she walking bk out the door STILL the sole caretaker of her children.And when she get that first childsupport check tell her to say to herself and to him checkmate b*tch:raised_hands:
Go to court, he’s being her to scare her
She doesn’t have to worry about anything. In fact, he going to end up paying her for them 3 years. All he wants to do is to manipulate her and scare her. He have to prove that your sister is an unfit mother and he won’t be able to prove that. So tell to relax and let him do the show in court. Have money for the best lawyer but don’t have money to take care the children? Priceless!
3 Likes
Well for starters if she isn’t a unfit mother ( doesn’t even have to be a good mother ) the courts won’t take the child from her. As long as there is no drugs onvolved the father will be paying child support lol he’s just trying to scare her
1 Like
He should be paying child support…stand your ground…!!!
If there’s no order he doesn’t see the kids until he obtains an order. People will tell you that’s wrong. That’s what I was told by the court
without a court order there’s no enforcement
it’s never a good idea Go to court for child support as she petitioned. He brings up not seeing the kids she shows the judge texts of him threatening her. A judge can’t do anything because she wasn’t court order to allow visits. If he does file for custody or visitation she needs a lawyer.
Hope they dun him for back child support owed too, but not sure how that works if it’s never been court ordered.
Get a lawyer, write everything down you can think of that he DOESN’T do as everything she DOES do for the kids: groceries, diapers, bottles & formula if they’re that young, medical coverage, child care, school fees, doctor appointments—making them & keeping them & paying for them, transportation, feeding them nutritious meals, playing with them, Christmas, birthday & other presents, presents & delivery to other kids’ birthday parties, trips or vacations, play dates, homework help, reading to them, bathing them (if too little to do themselves), and on and on. Let him try to say what he’s done for them & PROVE it. His list will be mighty short.
Collect receipts, statements, any evidence of financial support for the kids. You should be able to get back statements from credit card companies and doctor’s offices if you didn’t keep them. Just having a full file folder of evidence should make him cry.
Make sure you both have all your questions written down and ready before you meet or consult with her lawyer, and no chitchat. You may be paying for every 15 minutes the clock is ticking. Deal with secretaries or paralegals for any follow up as they charge a lower rate.
Get a decent lawyer even if you have to take out a loan to do so. You shouldn’t need an expensive pit bull one though, as she should have a good case and it sounds like he doesn’t have much of one. If he doesn’t want to pay child support, I doubt he wants to pay a lot for a lawyer, but see if you can find out who he hires (if he even goes through with anything) & ask your lawyer about his reputation.
Have child support taken directly out of his paycheck or bank account so she is more likely to receive it. Ask how much in arrears he has to be before they will take his license or send him to jail.
Check with your lawyer about a guardian ad litem (basically a lawyer for the kids) who can speak for the children if they’re old enough to talk and be interviewed. The children, through the guardian ad litem, may be able to provide testimony on the mom’s behalf.
Also ask the lawyer if you can provide testimony for your sister or if anyone else would be good to support her through testimony (oral or written or recorded) in court. Not sure about family members, but if you can provide dates and times of outings, or recollections of your sister’s being a good mother, with dates, costs, and any other details you can think of, it might be beneficial. Again, ask the lawyer.
She should prevail in court, so tell her not to worry about that, but a courtroom can be intimidating. See if she’s allowed to have support people there, like all her friends and family, or if COVID puts limits on who and how many can go in. Maybe you and her best friend or your mom if available—whoever would put her most at ease.
She may be able to have a stress ball, or chew gum or have a water bottle, but ask the lawyer. She should get something from the court in the mail that states when to appear, and she should check occasionally with the law office to see if they’ve heard anything. Everything is slow because of COVID and understaffing so it may be a while until your case comes up.
Have something to eat and drink for breakfast. Leave early so you can get there in plenty of time to allow for traffic, finding a parking spot if you’re driving, to find and walk to the right building, to get through security and to find where to go in the courthouse. You may want to do a trial run (pun intended!) to do reconnaissance before the court date to see where everything is.
Staff, lawyers, judges and security will probably all be serious and unsmiling but courteous. You will probably have to wait in line to go through security and put your shoes, coats, hats, purse, keys, and everything loose in a container to go on the conveyor belt for the X-Ray machine (they will give you a smaller container for things that shouldn’t go through X-Ray) and wait to walk through the metal detectors or be wanded. Some may take your phones and give you a claim check for them or just ask you to pick yours up when you leave.
The easy cases should go first, but no telling how long she’ll have to wait in the courtroom, so be prepared to be patient. Your lawyer may be able to find out where her case is on the docket to give you an idea of how long you’ll have to wait.
You have to turn your phones over or shut them completely off in the courtroom if you don’t have to turn them in to security, except you can turn them back on if you have something to show the judge or lawyers on it. No reading materials, no talking except to your lawyer in the courtroom. If you need to talk to your lawyer or anyone else for more than a quick question while you’re waiting for your case to come up, you will likely exit to another room. You may be able to whisper quietly if you’re brief.
You can leave very quietly to use the restroom if you need, but go before you have to go into the courtroom. If the case looks like it will take a lot of time and be very complicated, there may be a continuance, where you have to come back another day when lots of time will be carved out to handle it.
There will be a break for lunch if you are there that long, and they will tell you when you have to be back. Once you exit the courtroom you should be able to converse normally, turn your phone back on, etc. Just be mindful of the time so you can go back in when court reconvenes. If you leave the building you will have to go through security again to get back in. I think you can bring a lunch with you though there’s usually a cafeteria.
It’s generally not fun, but not too awful either. If anyone starts rambling the judge will cut them off and ask for the person to get to the point, usually through a direct question, often one with a yes/no response. It can be interesting to hear the other cases though, and there’s occasionally a flicker of humor.
Hope your sister gets through this swimmingly and gets lots of money from here on out for the kids.
The custodial parent always shells out more for the finacial support for a child(ren), than a non-custodial parent. Try looking up resources to off-set the cost of raising the kids by utilizing programs set up to help parents who are struggling finacially. There are baby-setting services available to low-income parents. Free school supplies, salvation Army for clothes. Goodwill for clothing, furniture, gently used toys. Check out garage sales. Food bank for groceries. And local churches have a benevolent fund for help with utilities. There are many resources available to help off-set the cost of raising kid(s), in single house-hold. The father can’t take the kids away, unless he proves her to be unfit. The courts usually side with the mother, in most cases. 《☆☆☆Be aware, this is not true in every case. There are exceptions to this. Society proves there are bad mothers, as well as bad dads. ☆☆☆ However an unfit parent is hard to prove, in most cases. ☆☆☆ 》 It sounds like he is playing mind games to emotionally bully her. (Men are especially famous for this, in the case of ex’s that they share children with). Your sister should hire an attorney to guide her and it could give her ‘peace of mind’ knowing she has someone that has her back! If hiring an attorney is too expensive, she can ask to speak to a judge for guidance of local resources available to her. Social workers can be a great avenue of information if you get in touch with the right one. You have to shop around. Like any other profession…there are good ones and bad ones.
Keep all communication to messages. If he says stuff like that screen shot it and print it out for the court to see
4 Likes
Tell her not to be scared. If she doesn’t do drugs, provides somewhere safr to live for the kids, and takes care of them… she has nothing to worry about &they would never encourage any children being taken from their mom. They will tell him he SHOULD be helping financially with his kids. All she needs to do is go to court & tell them exactly this, and what the situation is. Gaslighting at its finest. He’s just using threats to scare her. Save all text messages etc for proof of his threats.
Custody order and child support should be established asap. They add your incomes together and consider expenses,daycare, medical insurance, etc. Figure it fairly. You can see the breakdown on the child support site. No judge is going to take the children you have been providing for away from you in this state. I dealt w this idle threat. Keep log of expenses to visitations etc. It’s his duty to pay for his children and right to see them. I have 8 grandchildren and none of the men in my daughters lives men pay support. 
they’ll threaten, gas light, and worst say they’ll take the kids… File
1 Like
Tell her to record EVERYTHING. All messages and phone calls. All interactions at visitation swaps Keep logs of everytime he comesto pick them up and drop them off. Every time he calls. Rarely would they just take custody away from a mother unless she has an issue like drugs,mental instability etc. Also coach her on NOT reacting to him because that can be used against her.
2 Likes
It’s almost impossible for a judge to remove kids from their mother! Don’t let him manipulate her! She can use those messages as evidence of verbal abuse
3 Likes
Tell him to bring it.
1 Like
If she doesn’t have a court order for custody he could literally keep the kids and not have to return them til she goes to court…
5 Likes
If she’s taking care of the kids and meeting all their needs they won’t take them from her just because he doesn’t want to pay child support
4 Likes
Hes trying to scare her into dropping child support.
2 Likes
Keep those messages print them out to show a judge they don’t do well with stuff like that
5 Likes
Good luck. She’s not losing her children.
However, she does need a lawyer.
That lawyer can file for him to pay attorney’s fee’s too. 
6 Likes
If he text her or emailed her that then she needs to screenshot it and give to courts for proof
Have her log everything going forward. Have her snap shot the text messages. Depending on what state they will have to come to an agreement in mediation before going in front of a judge. She can get a court appointed lawyer. It’s a long drawn out processes. She has to have proof though. Have her go back and take photos of the threatening texts and anything that they would consider a contempt in court to show he’s not suitable.
He’s an irresponsable self centered ass. He’s bullshitting her.
I can see why they got divorced. He sounds like an ass.
Look into that tho for sure my daughter is five and he’s been paying back pay since and I didn’t even ask for the full back pay.
He is just trying to scare her Cuz he done messed up and keep all messages if he fights
1 Like
He has to prove she’s unfit to reverse custody. Google reasons she could be unfit. If none apply don’t worry about it.
2 Likes
He’s full of s**t ! If he wanted his kids he would have been a man and helped support them all along. I hate when men threaten women with this empty threat.
1 Like
In Canada you can file for an emergency custody order which means you have full custody of the kids until it goes to court, but do it right away before he does. I did that and lucky that I did because I was very friendly with the staff at the court house and they told me my ex showed up about an hour after I was there and then he would have had custody until court. He is just threatening you about the kids because he doesn’t want to pay child support. They are his kids and he should not be able get away with not financially supporting them. Take him to court for the custody order and financial support. The judge always gives the children to the Mother unless there is reason not too, i.e. Mom is a drug addict, etc. Don’t let him make you a wreck, that’s what he wants.
Lol it’s a little late for him. Doesn’t have a leg to stand on. Tell your sister not to worry, any judge would see through this. She has been primary caregiver for 3 years, never had a problem with it before , but now she asks for financial support and he all of a sudden filed for custody? LOL bring it.
1 Like
No judge will say he dosent have to pay anything…those are his children to!!! She needs to get A lawyer And fight!
2 Likes
There’s an app called Our Family Wizard. It’s like $100 a year BUT it’s admissible in court because things can not be deleted or altered like txt messages or emails can. A lot of courts won’t accept recordings, txt messages etc but the will on this app. I would have her download and use it for all communications even though I know there’s a cost. It’s what my attorney suggested and the only way I’ll communicate with my ex UNLESS my child is at his house (I will answer if he calls then to ensure its not an emergency with my son). Everything else is threats. I just went through and continue to go through the same thing. File the child support and continue to go on taking care of those babies!
1 Like
Let him try 
save all the messages for court
intimidation because he doesn’t want to pay! If anything lay it on thicker! Can’t take her kids if she is a good mother!! She’s got this! God is moving mountains for her to become more stable so tell her to keep going 
6 Likes
if she’s a good mother she shouldn’t have anything to worry about
2 Likes
She should continue to file for child support and custody, make sure she has all the receipts and evidence of what she does for the children, because a judge will ask for it. And as for custody, let him try, he would have to provide evidence of what he has done for the kids so far. The most that can happen is that a Judge grants 50/50 custody. The important thing here is that she files first and gets orientated by a lawyer.
Does he actually realise kids cost a hell of a lot more to raise full time, than he would ever spend out on CS to you? He’s bluffing! He doesn’t really want his freedom restricted being a full time daddy! If it was about the kids and not about the CS he’d already be fighting for 50/50 or full custody to begin with. The courts see this! Get a lawyer and try not to worry.
3 Likes
And the judge will see right through his bullshit. He literally gets them what 4 days a month!? Tell her not to worry about it.
Document EVERYTHING!
2 Likes
it is very hard to take childern from ther bio mother
2 Likes
He’s only doing that to emotionally black mail her. Since, he doesn’t want to pay child support. She just needs to find a good lawyer and be strong in this difficult time.
Whatever he will do, it will backfire on him since he is not paying anything for the kids.
The best thing is for her to record all the text messages, expenses receipts, etc etc.
4 Likes
Mind your own business
Keep those messages!! Also continue to follow court order if there’s one in place. If no court custody order get one asap because he doesn’t have to give the child(Ren) back if there’s no court order and keep them with you. He may believe that he’s gonna get the kids but since he only gets them 2x a month for the last 3 years, he has to prove you unfit and it’s nearly impossible. I was able to prove my ex unfit (severe mental health issues, lives in a one bedroom home, abandoned them while separated etc) and I was able to get full custody but I decided to be nice and let him have supervised visitation every weekend.
3 Likes
If she’s a great mom she has nothing to worry about…he has rights too tho so the every other weekend will continue he’ll just get to pay child support now
Tell her to document everything, every text, every email,every phone call and any interaction with him. Most men don’t like having to pay child support and get mad and start threatening all different kinds of bs. Tell her to just go through with it.
6 Likes
The judge will see right through his BS. No judge is going to remove the kids from a stable mother to give them to a father that has had little contact and has to be taken to court to make him pay child support.
6 Likes
His history will speak volumes in court so tell her to keep a journal of everything to do with him and their kids.
2 Likes
This what they say when things don’t go their way if them kids are safe and taken care of no court can do anything! And he doesn’t even have a established case paying support order 
the judge isn’t going to like that at all! And even if he files for VISITATION he’ll still have to pay child support 
but I’m sure his lawyer a tell him this why do guys think this is beyond me 
1 Like
No judge is gonna give him full custody just so he doesn’t have to pay child support. If anything the judge will laugh and then get him to pay support. Your sister has nothing to worry about because even “the best lawyer” can’t get out of child support. Also have your sister keep a record and recipes to show the judge what she has to pay.
1 Like
50/50 physical and legal custody is usually best for the kids. It doesn’t matter what’s best for either parent. Not once is the father’s parenting quality and abilities mentioned. Your sister needs to grow up, start co-parenting, and put her children’s needs before her own.
2 Likes
If there’s no reason for the kids to be taken from her, they won’t be taken. He’s trying to scare her so she doesn’t file foe child support. She should def file and document everything he’s said.
4 Likes
Fountain Scott Michael This must be you that’s why you’re laughing at these comments 
imagine following a mother’s group taking your insecurities out in randoms 
grow some 
And he won’t get them !!!
2 Likes
The typical scare tactics.
Unless she’s unfit, I doubt he stands a chance. What’s truly sad, to me, is he’s hurting the kids, if he goes through with this.
#jerk
3 Likes
Since he’s not paying anything for them I highly doubt he’ll use any money to get lawyer. My ex told me the same thing and he never got a lawyer, I was scared and a nervous wreck over it all so my mom scheduled me a free consultation with a family law lawyer. The lawyer told me there is no way he would be able to take her from me because there was no possible way he could prove me as an unfit mother. My daughter had food, water, clothes, a roof over her head, electric. She wasn’t abused or neglected in any way, the lawyer said the judge would look at how my daughter still had everything she needed without him paying a single penny for her and would reward me full custody with no questions asked. A mother has to be proved unfit to lose custody of her kids and that is very hard to do. Tell your sister to get a free consultation with a lawyer also because I know that no matter what anyone told me when my ex said he was going to take my daughter from me nothing nobody around said helped ease my mind because I was just a nervous wreck so the only person who could ease my mind was a lawyer who knew all the laws.
3 Likes
Write EVERYTHING DOWN!! The days he sees them, the days he don’t. Keep recipes for everything she buys. A journal of conversations. Anything she thinks she should tell a judge, she should write down. Bc going before the judge is nerve wracking especially over your children and my first time I forgot everything. Just go in prepared.
6 Likes
If she can’t afford an attorney she can seek to have help through the self help/district attorneys office. Don’t let his threats worry her he just doesn’t want to pay and he should.
1 Like
Well the fact that he has not voluntarily paid child support prior to this does NOT look good for him. The judge will see that he is a selfish jerk, and will bleed him for every dollar he’s worth.
3 Likes
One- keep the conversation through text so she has proof. Most men say that but don’t actually do it, parenting is work and many of them just don’t have the wear with all to endure full time parenting (not all men- child men, in situations like this). I know many will disagree with me but this just was the way I handled it. I didn’t ask for money (child support) I did ask for him to cover health insurance. I asked for nothing else. Maybe it’s pride, maybe it’s that I knew I didn’t want to fight a losing battle. I just fought to do it on my own. (Not saying- it’s the right way, it just was the way I handled it.).
He is a loser and only wants them kids Bc he doesn’t wanna support them …….hire the best lawyer and stand ur ground!!! If nothing else she will get back support for all the years she and the children have gone without!
1 Like
I’m gonna tell you my best advice is have her Lawyer up BEFORE court.
My ex wasn’t Involved for the first 4 years of his life hes now 7 still denied he was his kid even after paternity test confirmed he was his child, I took him to court for childsupport And 2 days before out court date he filed for full custody and placement and got a lawyer. Safe to say I got a lawyer the next day after court and I won but finally he was forced to be apart of his sons life and there was visitation set up. His lawyer tried to say since technically we are 50/50 he shouldn’t have to pay child support but the judge knew how long he wasn’t involved. And how long I supported him by myself and through that out the window! Unless she is a complete unfit mother he won’t have a chance of fully taking the kids away and any decent lawyer will tell him that upfront
2 Likes
If she is a great mom then they’res not to worry about…it is extremely hard to prove a mother unfit(unless they literally are)…but keep all texts and any documentation you can…if she has a roof over her head, food in her belly and clothes on her back and is loved and being taken care of…I see no judge taking a daughter away from her mother…
4 Likes
Hopefully she has documents everything .
Get a really good lawyer. I’d like to say it’ll be ok but honestly courts do what they want anymore and it usually involves meeting parents in middle and not necessarily what’s best for the kids.
She will probably get child support. Keep records of him threatening her, it’s awesome he’s doing that in writing so you can take it to court. Have records for Everything, receipts and be prepared to show them. Likely they will stay with mom, joint custody and state parent visitation guidelines. But again get a good lawyer can make a huge difference!
1 Like
If he has never tried to get custody of them before now then it is obvious he only wants them to keep from paying child support. Any family court judge with half a brain will see right through that! I was told this same thing, people like him love to get in your head and know the way to do that with a good mom is threatening her kids! Unless she’s unfit she shouldn’t worry! But keep text messages for back up!
2 Likes
The court is going to frown when they see he never help support the children.
1 Like
Tell her to go after child support. And keep any messages from him that day stupid things like this for court. Unless she is not caring for them, he will never get them from her
1 Like
The courts are use to that! She needs to save all communication and make sure the judge knows what he said
3 Likes
She will be fine it’s says scared but they won’t take the kids for no reason tell her to be strong and do what needs done that’s his scare tactic
1 Like
Also save all msgs like that
1 Like
The courts will order child support, might take a bit but they will. Whether he pays or not is up to him. This was my situation with my 1st child to a T. At first he was ordered $18 a week and the judge told him to get a job because after a certain amount of time he would be paying the minimum for a 40 hr a week minimum wage job. I also did pick ups and drops with the grandmother and his visits were supervised. We were young and he didn’t know how to take care of a child that young. Fast forward - we now have an almost 6 year old. He still pays the minimum $97 a week even though he has a better job but I never took him back because now he also has her health insurance and helps me with extra if I need it. We do pick ups and drop offs ourselves and have a good communicating relationship. We even get together with our s/o and my other kids (not his) to go to the park or local events, for the sake of our child. It took us a few years, but we made it through and have a healthy coparenting relationship now. Bitter feelings need to fade and the parties to move on, it all takes time.
4 Likes
He’s going to look like fool if he brings you to court.
2 Likes
He doesn’t have a prayer! But, get a lawyer.
1 Like
If all he has is threats, tell your sister to document every phone cal every email every message and get legal aid and tell her not to worry so much (easier said then done I know) but he doesn’t have a leg to stand on and would have to prove her unfit before they ever even thought of taking her kids away from her. And just to add. Those are half his children and he hasn’t paid a dime for them, the court will laugh in his face and make him pay. He won’t stand a chance! They like when the father pays, there’s a whole program towards it called FMEP. They’re ruthless lol!
4 Likes
This is a ploy to get her not to go to court. Tell her to save the message from him etc and take him to the cleaner’s.
2 Likes
File first if you dont already have a custody order. Many a fine mother have forgo child support for the peace of mind of having their kids to themselves. He inly cares about the money, dont want to share custody with that nitemare.
How stupid of anyone to to think that way. Refusing to pay child support , yet you want take the kids from their Mother. So he would end up paying more having the kids full time 
how can someone not see that you’re both equally responsible for your children.
I don’t think any judge is going to rip kids away from a mother when that’s the man’s reasoning for wanting custody. Record any conversations, keep texts and emails from him. People suck 
She will probably get child support and back pay for those 3 years. They clearly use the grandmother as a middle man for a reason I wouldn’t sweat it.
1 Like
Lawyer consultations usually cost nothing. One meeting with a decent on will restore her confidence. Custody and support are two separate court appointments. Go for support and if he takes her for custody he won’t get far. Document everything and take a few deep breaths. If she doesn’t have a lot of evidence I can promise he has less, by the sounds of it much less.
3 Likes
He is a bitch and the judge will see that
It’s very hard to get a mother’s rights taken away in any state. This man would have to prove she’s unfit. Meaning she is abusive, neglectful and emotionally unstable to take care of her kids. Believe me this is what all deadbeat dads do to threaten mothers. Tell her to keep a journal of dates and times he sees them. Who meets and picks up. Keep track of all the items she buys for kids. Including activities such as sports or dance class. Just continue to support her need to be a good parent. I wish her all the luck in this world.
4 Likes
He’s full of shit and has no chance
Praying for her. She probably doesn’t need to worry,I doubt he has a leg to stand on.tell her get a lawyer file for child support. That is his responsibility. I CAn t stand meN who try everything to get out of taking g care of their own children. It is sickening.
I just wanted to point out that this basically happened to me, I had a pro bono attorney and he had one of the best in town. My pro bono kicked his attorneys ass. It’s not about who has the best attorney. It’s about who cares for the kids. Does he ever take them to doctors appointments? Does he push for more time before child support came into play? Does he help in schooling? If you’re doing the majority of the work then the judge will more than likely side with you. Document how long you guys have had this parenting plan worked out. Everything that involved the childrens needs, document it. You got this momma.