My sister has two kids. The father of her kids and her have been split up for 3 years now. He only gets the kids every other weekend. 2 weekends out of the month basically. He never gives her any type of money for the kids. She doesn’t even coparent with him. She meets with her kids grandmother for pick up and drop off with the kids. She recently filed for child support because he’s always going out , traveling, buying new clothes ,etc while my sister is struggling taking care of everything concerning them alone. He’s now gaslighting her by saying he’s gonna hire the best lawyer to get the kids taken away from her so he doesn’t have to pay child support. She’s scared of losing her kids. She’s never had court for anything and she’s a great mom. Any advice? Thank you!
She needs a lawyer ASAP. A good judge will see right through that
They won’t just take the kids because he doesn’t wanna pay child support he has to show that ur sister is an unfit mother
How’s he gonna take the kids when she’s been doing it all on her own? Paying all the bills and everything they need. The judge will see who takes care of them kids and that she is a good mom.
If she is not abusing them, neglecting or starving them or live in a nasty house she shouldn’t have any issues!
She needs to document everything daily…texts, calls…keep a daily log. Get a lawyer asap.
He would have to prove she is unfit which is hard to do, in most cases. Also she will get her child support when she tells the judge how he’s done nothing for the kids. They are going to burn him a new one. Good for your sis. I’m getting ready to the same thing.
Keep going don’t give up. He should pay for his kids to live. They won’t get taken away.
lawyer up girl!
fight him - win - and show good parenting along the way.
judges and lawyers see through everything when
it comes to this stuff
Save every message between the two of them
Have her send you copies of everything just in case
Just tell him to take her to court. They won’t just take the kids bc he says so. He can take on two kids anyhow. Tell him go ahead, he will be crying for her to pick them up after a month.
They won’t take the kids off her regardless how good his lawyer is…she has been a great Mum😊
If it was me I would want to go to court so the prick gets made to backpay child support
They won’t take the kids from her, they may grant coparenting time and child suppprt etc but it’s just a scare tactic so he can scare her into thinking she will lose the kids . She won’t lose the kids. Document all interactions, I likely he will follow through, and if he does the judge would grant time for both parents if I’m their best interest
Just because he has money doesn’t mean nothing and she needs to tell them he wasn’t interested in court until he found out she was taking him for child support they will tell him real quick it’s his responsibility to help take care of his kids my ex tried that crap guess what he got nothing and now he pays … some people just wanna fight cause they to tight to raise to here own kids and it’s a dam. Shame they helped make them they need to help take care of them
She’s got this. He has no case. Hell the judge might even throw in extra for her for him being stupid and wasting every one’s time. If anything ask her lawyer to throw in any court fees she has to pay with the child support and back payment. I have a feeling he will regret taking her to court.
Good thing judges see this ALOT! A lawyer is gonna also see through this bullshit. Promise! The lawyer won’t even go through with the case I bet and if he does it will take a lot of money. Then if he gets in front of judge, he’s gonna see she filed for child support on this date and he had custody issues AFTER that😆 tell her to ignore him and she will prob get 3 years BACK CHILD SUPPORT AS WELL🙌🏼
Keep all messages and never do phone calls only do messages and emails so then she has all the evidence so he can’t do shit
Call his bluff… let’s go to court
Well, until it’s on paper, he wouldn’t see them again unless he starts paying CS.
Ignore him. Keep records of time and dates and things said. Better end all contact other than text. And keep them all.
Soooo many x’s say this alll the time. UNLESS you are unfit he can’t take the kids from you.
They won’t just take away children without cause. If she is a good mom, not on drugs, kids are clean, have food, and a home she will be fine. Split custody is every other weekend and every other holiday. Sounds like they will have no problem ordering child support. Keep records of everything. She will be ok
Tell him to piss off. Let him take her to court she is not going to loose. Tell her to get a calander keep track of when he gets the kids. Not his mother. When he calls. Everytime he tries to start a fight with her. Don’t let him bully you. Is all I have to say.
Have her document everything and save all messages. He is just trying to scare her. They won’t take away the kids for no reason.
Lol. She should block him and ignore his empty threats
And proceed with child support
go on to Court. A judge will see right through him.
He is just bluffing,no court will grant him that without proof that she is unfit mother even if he has the best lawyer in the world, for starters she must contact the social workers and lay down everything that has been happening even the threads he is making and take it from there
If he requested 50-50 custody then no he wouldn’t have to pay child support. Also, they don’t automatically put people on child support just because the mother asked for it.
If he can prove through receipts and bank statements that he supports his children then they won’t do anything.
Hell, he could have just put money in a trust fund for them and that would be sufficient.
She needs an attorney.
If he travels how will he take care of kids??
If they have been with her this whole time and there is no evidence of neglect/ abuse recorded…she should be fine. They generally don’t uproot children without a cause.
They all say this, and it rarely works that way. Tell her to stop talking to him and keep on with her filing and go with it.
She won’t lose her kids. Keep copies of every message, email etc. Record on drop off and pick ups if in public place
She needs to document all commutation with him via text email everything to have it be usable in court look up your laws to see if you can legal record phone calls with one person consent each state is different to be used in court every time he doesn’t show he late ect write it down date time events that took place all doctors apt documents who took them where they have lived since separated how long this schedule has been in place if she has those text of him has lighting her that’s awesome for her keeping her kids entirely basically child support will do everything he will have to petition the court for a parenting plan which if that’s the case can be stressful and scary best of luck
Loooooool!!! One, there isn’t a judge in the world who will give him that. Two, Child support isn’t an order to renegotiate custody, unless custody wasn’t decided as terms of the divorce. Either way. if hell really did freeze over, and he did happen to get that, his partying would be over. His extra money, gone to spend on groceries and daycare and clothes for the kids. There’s no way he’s gonna give that freedom up, not even out of spite. Three, If he won’t even pay child support, there’s no way he’s gonna pony 5 G’s for a decent lawyer. This is all about him. He simply wants to continue being the selfish self absorbed weekend warrior of his youth, and wasting it all on himself. This is purely a scare tactic. One in which, he should be careful what he asks for. He wouldn’t last a week with them full time before he’d be begging for her to come get them. Step up, dude. She didn’t make these kids by herself. Call his bluff.
Get a lawyer and take him to court. Bring all the evidence of his shit parenting
They will not remove children from the custody of a parent they cannot deem unfit beyond a shadow of a doubt. If she keeps this in mind, she will be fine!!
And custody and child support are completely separate cases in most states.
She needs to document and keep everything and all communication with him. If she can prove he said he will go for full custody just so he doesn’t have to pay support, make sure that is documented as well!
Record everything save all messages and keep a log of all his bs
God can solve alot of problems we can’ t. Character witnesses are important.Agree with documenting everything
Court will laugh and he will pay and still have visits
He’s talking out his hat. He has no clue about what it costs to provide what kids need. She won’t lose her kids for asking for child support. As others have said, the mom would have to be abusing or neglecting the children. That father has no clue that it would be financially cheaper for him to just grow a set and pay child support! He thinks he’d get off cheaper if he has the kids? . They need food, clothes, water, electricity, heat, toys, toiletries, transportation to doctor appointments, school, and anywhere else they may need to go, they need medicine sometimes, they need a babysitter/daycare while the parent works (and they probably need it longer hours when school is out for summer, etc). Your sister’s ex is not near as smart and genius as he wishes!
Hire an excellent lawyer who specializes in divorce and family issues. Your case is as solid as your lawyer’s expertise. Yes parents are required to pay child support but if you have been inside a courtroom you know things do not always workout like they should. Good luck and God bless you and your children.
It’s the trade off. She will get awarded child support but he will be awarded his fair share in custody as well. I suggest not having the courts involved but that’s just my personal opinion.
Empty threats, just trying to get her to drop the child support. If she’s a good parent, she will have nothing to worry about. Plain and simple.
Ya tell him goodluck it doesn’t work like that
The judge and heralded will get her a fair trial
That’s a scare tactic tell her file for CHILD support and get advice from an attorney most consulting is free of charge.
That would look super convenient. Consistent eowe, not even being the one picking up and dropping off, and not caring until child support was filed. I don’t think she has anything yo worry about but I’d start saving for defense just in case.
Hire your own shark… I mean lawyer!!! Don’t be afraid !! Stand up to him AND stand up for yourself !!!
No judge is gonna take the kids from their mom
If he can’t pay child support he’s definitely not going to pay for a lawyer he’s just trying to scare her to get her to drop it …
In my experience I’d cut my losses… rather have my children than a little extra money
If he doesn’t even want to co-parent, he really think he can do it can do it full time? Once he realizes how hard it is to be an involved parent and where all that spending money will now be going, he will change his mind real quick.
She needs to keep every text he sends with these threats and use them against him in court. She also needs to show the judge that while he goes on trips and buys new clothes, he gives her nothing.
Let him take her to court…he will have to back pay 3 years worth of support….AND explain to the judge why, after 3 years and only visiting every other weekend, he JUST NOW decides he wants the kids full time? Judges aren’t stupid - they will know why he’s petitioning for full custody. Which he won’t get, btw - mom has been the only constant for those kids…24/7/365. Judges don’t take kids away from their mother because the “dad” says so
Let him…
My ex husband got his accounts frozen because he thought he shouldn’t pay so much in child support
Tell her not to fall for that bs. Take him to court. I was threatened in the exact same way and went on and took care of business. He’ll get over it.
He’s trying to manipulate your sister. If she’s a good mom they won’t take her kids out of thier home. He doesn’t have a leg to stand on.
The courts aren’t gonna take the kids from their mom n the only home they have known. He’s just trying to scare her into dropping the child support. Tell her to stay strong and stand her ground and not to let him know any of this is bothering her n he will back off.
Document document document. All of it! Keep the message of him saying he’s only taking them bc of the money
Unless he can prove she’s an unfit mom he won’t win that! Tell her don’t be scared and go to court. They will make him pay back CS too as he should be doing!
Some do that, heck if he had kids full time maybe he’d see what she goes through an already know he’d hand them back over
Doesnt matter how great his lawyer is
…judge looks at who takes kids to school, doctor, takes care of kids 24/7. She shouldn’t worry if she’s always there and tending to her kids…if they are both responsible and live close it should be 50/50 anyways.
Child support has nothing to do with custody.
He owes child support whether he sees his kids or not!!
She should go for child support. If he doesn’t have anything on her that will make her lose her kids. She deserves to have help.
Check the new legislation regarding cohesive control …
If this was around 5 yrs ago my ex n his mum wud be in jail rite now
Yea it takes a real man to use children as a weapon. He doesn’t have a leg to stand on. She needs to pursue this and get the support the kids deserve.
Save those messages. Make sure she’s got them. The judge will love reading them
He’s not going to take her kids. My ex tried that crap with me and has a lot of money so I decided to file and make him put his money where his mouth is. He now pays $24,000 a year in child support and gets every other weekend. He would have to prove her an unfit mother. Needing financial help from the other parent doesn’t make her an unfit parent.
If there is not a court order stating visitation or custody, I would not let the kids go to dad’s until I talked to a lawyer. Continue with trying to get child support & get a lawyer.
Tell him to and to go ahead and try, he is the dirt bag not her
Don’t waist your money on a lawyer They will not take the kids out of there home ive been there He will have to pay no matter what …good luck …
Child support and custody are separate matters, at least where I live. There’s no way they will just give him the kids to avoid paying support.
Stay the course. She and he will both get lawyers. She’s doing the right thing
Save those messages, the courts only show favor to the father with legal proof.
Idle threats given by someone who does not want to pay child support. One of those that would rather die than send his baby’s mother a dime even though she’s a good momma and he’s a pos. If he’s traveling and his child’s clothes are too little or his child needs diapers he’s a pos. His threats mean nothing. Just scare tactics to not get support his child. Sew his ass up momma
Tell her to save those messages and do what she has to do for her family. He can’t take custody away from her when he doesn’t even do the bare minimum for their children. I would hire a lawyer just to prove that I mean business and tell him I’ll see his ass in court.
I hate when I see one “parent” try to use their kids to hurt the other parent.
As long as she’s a good mom they WONT take her kids away from her
He is trying to scare her into dropping the child support. Don’t be scared of court. No matter his lawyer he will not get full custody. Try to keep all conversations in text so there is proof of everything said.
If she isnt an unfit mother, she has nothing to worry about
If he doesn’t want to pay child support im guessing he won’t actually want to raise the kids at his either cos that will cost him more than what he’d pay in child support. Men that don’t pay child support or men that only pay bare minimum child support have no idea how much it actually costs to raise children full time.
Idiot! It will cost more to raise the kids than pay child support. Tell her to get that child support that prick owes! He doesn’t have a leg to stand on the flippen toe rag!
I had this same issue and I actually had a bunch of people on my side. Even the child support office and a lawyer said then if he can afford the best lawyer he can afford to help pay for the kids. Tell her to keep doing what she is doing obviously she is good at it and they won’t just take the kids because he doesn’t want to pay child support. Also some states are mother states so they tend to keep kids and mom together
Don’t worry, she should be ok, he will have to her to be an unfit mother
I would make sure there is a parenting plan made up, but that might cost i am not sure but I know that if she has full custody of the children what she says goes. Likely he is just saying things to scare mother into giving him what he wants…I would try to get full custody of the kids and agree to visitation every other weekend and make sure it says that in the written up parenting plan.
She has all the rights He is a bully just trying to scare her Get a public defender to help you with your rights Prayers & good luck
Tell her to keep all his text messages he sends her regarding getting custody because he does not want to pay child support. She has to have a paper trail. Or else it will be a he said she said type of thing. And he has to prove that she is unfit to take care of them
Take HIM to court. He is trying to scare her and shirk his duty as a father!!!
Oftentimes, men threaten this, so women get scared. Tell her to press on filing for child support, she and the kids deserve that much. He sounds like a piece of work.
Hes trying to scare her. He’s gonna have to pay childsupport. The courts aren’t gonna allow him to be off scott free! She needs to lawyer up ! And file paperwork
She needs to write everything down. When he gets them what money he gives and so on. Keep detailed records of everything she spends also
Child support and custody are two different things they will not discuss visitation in child support court at least they didn’t with me.
He’s trying to scare her - he don’t want the kids or he would be picking them up & spending time with them. Keep pursuing him in court
Has he said this over txt?? Tell her don’t delete anything. Use it all and start writing everything down and dating it.
Get herself a lawyer and file for custody. He’s just saying it to scare her. He SHOULD be paying for his kids aswell.
Good on her for doing everything she can
Keep all his messages and show them in court …
Hes a miserable git saying that
They will not take her kids unless he can prove she is unfit. All she has to say is he only sees them twice a month by (seems to me) his own choice. No way he’ll be able to handle them full time if all he spends is 2 weekends a month with them.