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QUESTION:
"So, my daughter has this friend, and she comes over to our house a lot. I do not mind, but I found out she has been stealing things from our daughter’s room. Her mom messaged me asking if we gave the items to her and we did not…she is outside playing all the time, but now I don’t know if I want her to come inside. What do I do? She is 7."
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"I would explain to the little girl that she can’t come in anymore and exactly why and that any toys brought outside must be given back to you before she goes home. (Come out with a bucket to collect them and assure they are accounted for) or do not allow toys outside for her to have access to either."
"When my little sister was about 4 or 5 she went through a stage where every time we went to our cousins house, she would steal a Barbie so my mom would have to bring it (and us) back. We had many of the same Barbies as my cousin. My mom started frisking my sister each time before we left and that ended that habit. I would say in this child’s case her mom should maybe take her to see a counselor."
"Honestly she’s 7. Just calmly confront her with it. I was around that age when I stole $1 from my mum’s purse. I felt so bad I put it back the next day and never stole again. It might embarass her enough to never do it again. It’s a good sign that the mum was honest. If anymore goes missing, then you’ll know."
"She is young. This is a great learning opportunity. Work with the other parents and help this child learn from this."
"She’s 7, she needs told she can’t just take things. Have you spoke with your daughter to be sure your daughter isn’t giving them to her without you knowing?"
"You guys and her parents need to sit her down and talk to her about what she’s doing, and explain that stealing isn’t right"
"Did the mom give you the stuff back? If not i would arrange for a time that her mom could bring her over with the things. When they get there both parents us it as a reachable moment and then her mom needs to get her some counseling now. It is a disorder."
"Ask her why she is doing it. Learning experience."
"If the mom is calling you to ask if you gave her these things she obviously has good influence at home and is going through something or a stage. Now is a good learning time so lovingly say you love for her to come to your home and play but taking things that don’t belong to her is wrong and makes you lose trust so she has to remember never to take things or she won’t be trusted inside anymore. Remind her you wouldn’t allow your child to go to her house and take things either and that honesty is important as friends"
"Are you sure she’s stealing? My daughter used to compulsively “gift” her toys every time she had a Friend over. She thought since the grown ups always offered a drink, meal etc that she had to offer toys. She would then get sad and miss the said toy but be to embarrassed to tell us she gave it away"
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