What should we do?

Ok! So regarding foster children. Several children removed from a friends brother. All children with family except one! As much as we want him to be with family). We want to fight it) Anyhow, without knowing the foster family has got him to call them dad an dad. When older sibling told him they aren’t ur dad. (Obviously hurt the older sibling hearing it for the first time, especially being unaware that they had got him to call them dad in such a short time. An I’m sure over time the older sibling may get used to it. Especially knowing he knew who his dad was, asks about him a lot. - But anyhow apparently after just 3 visits (when visits are supposed to be more regular (foster family always says they are busy) they are saying because he is becoming emotional after seeing family(obviously misses his family an his siblings). But feels the older sibling saying his not ur dad seems to come up to blame also (but again I think it was because the first time hearing obviously hurt). -but really now feel like they are punishing the older sibling also. But now they have stopped him seeing family until they work out away to deal with emotions after seeing his family. It’s obvious he is missing everyone, now they are saying not seeing us at all) - does this seem fair. What would u do? Just feel so sad that everyone he knows seems to be getting ripped away from them but not by choice.