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QUESTION:
"He has been extremely distant lately and I feel like he is doing it because I'm in a new relationship. He hasn't talked to my son in almost 2 months. And to be honest, he isn't his biological dad. He stepped up when I was pregnant and helped me and stood in the place of his father bcuz his bio dad is not around. I never asked him to be his dad. It truly breaks my heart because my son asks about him and talks about him and I just don't know what to say or how to say it. Advice please!"
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"Let him know that your son feels this way and that he’s very important to your son. Also that just because you’re in a new relationship, doesn’t mean he can’t continue to have a relationship with your son."
"Maybe reach out and tell him your son still needs him"
"You can try reaching out to him & hope that he will come around. If he doesn’t just be honest with your kid. Sometimes people step up for a role as long as is conditional."
"Oh momma, I feel you. Remind your son he is so loved. And it hurts but it really will get easier, he may just need time."
"Contact him. Let him know no matter what your relationship status is, you will always consider him the father of the child. He may be feeling confused and pushed aside and need his parental position made known again"
"If he cares about the child he still wants a relationship. I don’t know how things ended but if it’s possible to reach out to him and ask that he make a clean break or make conscious effort to maintain the relationship then that’s what I would do. His relationship with you is over but that doesn’t mean he can’t still be a meaningful person in your kid’s life if that’s what everyone wants."
"I would ask your ex if he wants to be in your sons life or not so that you can explain to your son what’s going on"
"Talk to him. Communicate. Tell him, that you want him in your son’s life, regardless of the relationship you guys have, or don’t have. That your son, isn’t involved in your problems. My husband is my kids step dad, we had split for a little bit long ago, he’s been in my kids lives for 7 years, raising them. And through my oldest son’s cancer, and chemotherapy. When we split, at first he didn’t think I would let him be around for them and in their lives. And we had a conversation. That no matter what happened between us, I wanted him in their lives. And would never keep him from them. He was their father figure. And would always be. No matter what. So talk to him. If he chooses to just walk away… There’s nothing you can do. But, at least you tried. For your child."
"Speak up. Be straight forward and ask what his issue is. Tell him that just because you’re in a new relationship that doesn’t mean he has to distance himself and stop being his dad. That he loves him, he’s his dad and he misses him."
"Just have a conversation with him. Maybe he feels with you in a new relationship he has to step back. Just communicate with him that he doesn’t have to do that. You still want him in his life if he wants to be. See where his head is and if he still wants to be in his life then great if he doesn’t just comfort your son and reassure him and love him."
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