This question was submitted to our community via our Facebook page and/or our Answers forum. Responses are also taken from the community. If you have your own parenting or relationship question you would like answers to, submit on Facebook or Answers.
QUESTION:
"My 13 year old son has started doing what teenage boys do to themselves. Well this morning I go through his phone which is a normal thing and I found messages where he is sexting with a younge lady. And they did it on video chat over the weekend. I have no clue how to respond. Like he didn't even try to hide it he just left it on his phone knowing I was going to go through it. I don't know what to do or to go about this. He wants to be in the military but I'm concerned that him doing this stuff so early he may end up getting a girl knocked up. Idk maybe I am looking into to much. Because it's not like he goes anywhere but to school. He is grounded has been since school started for vaping and fighting at school. I'm just at a loss idk what to do with him."
RELATED: 13-Year-Old Teen Gets Emergency Surgery After Dangerous ‘Tongue-Piercing’ TikTok Trend
TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"He better be careful sexting. Bc we know somebody did same thing and now he’s getting it for child porn."
"Teach him about safe sex! Telling him not to do it or that he can’t do it will only make him want to do it 10000x more!! The best thing you can do is educate him on safe sex practices, birth control, etc. Don’t judge, try to be as unbiased and impartial as you can! You got this"
"Time to have an adult conversation with him, teach him how to protect himself, not just against pregnancy but also std’s and sti’s. Teach him the correct way to treat a girlfriend, and how he should be treated. Teach him about consent and respect for eachother, and teach him about the worry of sending pictures, how far then can reach on the internet ect."
"Teach him to be responsible and respectful and he shouldn’t have any issues. Remind him that having pictures can lead to criminal charges. It’s normal what hes doing but the more you push him the more hes going to rebel."
"Educate him about getting a girl knocked up and the consequences of doing so. Buy him condoms. Sexual urges in teens is very normal and you don’t want to demonize sex because it won’t help anyway and they might do it to be rebellious. As long as he has the information as to how to prevent pregnancy and STI’s ,at least his choice’s will be informed."
"Teens are going to have sex and sexual experiences. Imo best thing to do is supply them with both information and contraceptives. Explain the things the school doesn’t. The emotional aspects, the possibility of having partners who are not mature enough to be trusted that they are using contraceptives, how much damage it can do to a young person to have children too early. If you try to stop it, they will rebel and purposefully do the wrong things just to prove themselves. I’m not saying allow him to have sleepovers with partners or anything but prepare him as much as you can. Good luck."
"For starters, I think I’d be having a conversation with my son before posting to social media. Have the talk with him, he’s 13. Explain to him protection, Sti’s and std’s… teenage pregnancy. Even do up a mock “receipt” of the expenses of raising a baby for a month compared to a few boxes of condoms. Also explain that pictures can go absolutely anywhere after leaving his phone. Screenshots, internet, mass texts, etc. He needs to know to be safe, and the consequences of it but he’s not going to learn any of it unless you have the talk with him about it."
"U need to talk to him about criminal charges first and foremost. He could certainly end up having charges pressed on him by her parents if they ever found the videos and photos. Then he’ll have to register as a sex offender and that will follow him for life. Him masturbating is the least of your problems in this scenario. Being put behind bars for showing another minor sexual content is more of what you need to focus on here. Even if theyre both the same age it’s still considered a crime. And you need to have an open convo about this. I have 2 boys and have had to have this same convo w each of them."
"I would never go through their phones. Such an invasion of privacy. Talk to him so he knows your concerns. You will only make him want to do things more by trying to stop it"
"Maybe give him privacy and stop going through his phone first. Giving kids no privacy teaches them to be sneaky. Just have a talk with him, talk about consent, age of consent, all of it. After you talk to him, tell him to come to you with any questions and if he needs anything. Don’t shame him or make it a negative experience or he will still do things, you just won’t know and he won’t be safe."
Have a response to this question? Leave it below to help a mama out! Or leave your own question and get responses from real moms!
READ ALL ANSWERS BELOW: