No bashing, just need advice.
My 4 year old step daughter has been lying a lot lately and recently has been stealing toys and other things from her friends, then lying about it. What punishments are proper for a 4 year old? Her father, mother, and I clearly all want this to stop asap.
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What I do is make them bend they knees back against the wall and hold a book with arms straight out!
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They understand they have to behave to get privledges, but only 24 hours at a time. So like if she has a tablet explain she doesn’t get to use it that day if she steals or lies. I do a marble jar with my daughter where every day she behaves she gets a marble and once she has enough marbles she gets a reward like a toy. Works great for us. If she doesn’t listen or hits or misbehaves at all she loses the marble. I can also tell her like if I leave her with my mom, “you behave for grandma or you will lose your marble. No warnings”
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My daughter does this as well I make her take the toys back and apologize for taking the toys I also have her give them one of her toys
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Have her take whatever back to where or who she stole it from and apologize. If it’s a friend of hers have their parents say something to her after she apologizes.
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My kids had thier toys bagged up and when behaviors improved it was like getting new toys on Christmas
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Make her apologize. And take something away from her
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Take her favorite toy away for lying. My 4 year old daughter loves to play on the tablet after school while I’m cooking dinner so that’s usually what I take away from her if she’s been naughty. She can “earn” it back by cleaning her room or by being extra well behaved. Long term punishment (grounding), in my opinion, isn’t necessary for a 4 year old. As far as the stealing goes I would make her personally return the item and apologize to her friend. Explain to her that she wouldn’t want someone to take her things and she shouldn’t take her friends things without asking. I’ve been beyond blessed with a very well behaved 4 year old daughter and step daughter. Most of the time a good talking to, explaining things, helps with any behavior issues we have. My 3 boys on the other hand… that’s a different story 
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Hold the wall up!!! Our 6 yr old hates it and we have little problem out of him
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A punishment that fits the crime makes sense. She stole and lied so she should have to return and apologize face-to-face to who she stole from. It will probably hurt her little feelings but sometimes that works the best.
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Maybe it’s something deeper than the surface, have y’all thought about getting her to talk/see a therapist?
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She’s acting out because something else is underlying. I’m having this same problem with my 4yo SD. Punishments only make it worse and make her better at lying and sneaking. Need to get to the root of the problem.
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You need to find out what’s causing her to act like this. I used a reward system for my daughters behavior, but she never stole or lied. When she was that age I instilled in her that lying was just as bad as hitting someone. It hurt just as much. She never did.
Make her apologize to the kids and parents face to face while returning the toy.
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When I was about that age and started stealing things. My mom had made me walk back in with money. I would apologize to the cashier. Give back the item(s) or if I still wanted it, I’d have money to purchase it(items were like a dollar or two). I was given the option to correct the behavior and do the right thing. Kind of embarrassing too cause I knew I was caught. Straightened me up, because I never did it again after that.
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This is pretty common in kids her age. The lying is pretty normal.we went though it with out daughter. We always made he apologize and return items to those she took them from. Humiliation is a great tool when dealing with confabulation and theft with children.
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No advice but kudos to you 3 for taking a stand together!
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Shes acting out for some reason at 4 years old. Have her give it bavk and apologize.
Kids don’t see lies or understand that term. Being in kindergarten, half the time they forget or they don’t see it as lying… she needs to understand what a lie is first! Kids don’t always understand!
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My son use to pocket toys he considered special from daycare. We did repitition, he would have o bring it back himself and say sorry! So he could see the connection.
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Do scenarios with her or show examples to show how the emotion is. Kids do not have the full empathy skill. They need to see firsthand how it feels. Provide examples or act! I did that with my son, facial expressions or say this hurts, (make a hurting face). Show her through expressive language how it makes others feels!
She has to realize that u don’t take something that isn’t hers
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Walk into the police statin and ask one of the officers to get a small chat about steeling. They will do it or if you know any cop friends. I’m telling you it makes a difference lol
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Make her take the toys back to the friend and make her apologize…kids hate having to do that at that age
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Make her give it back, explain what she did and apologise. I once stole a scrunchy from a shop and this is what my mum did. Haven’t stolen since 
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My kid used to do this A LOT when she was that age too. She is 6 now, and still does it sometimes. I just keep explaining that lying is never going to get you out of trouble or get you why you want. All it’s going to do is cause people not to trust you, and they won’t believe you when you are telling the truth. And that it also creates a lot of confusion surrounding the real problem, and makes it hard for others to help you because they don’t know what they should be doing or start doing the wrong thing based on your lie.
She’s 4. This is normal. Also are u recently her stepmom? Could be her acting out for attention if this is a recent change?
I would make her give back the things herself and appologize for it.
4 is to young to even know it’s stealing. They see a toy they like assume it’s theirs or want it badly to be theirs and take it home. My daughter tried taking home toys from the library plenty of times bc she really liked them. She doesn’t get the concept yet that it would be stealing and it’s not hers. It’s everyone’s to play with. Just have to keep telling her that isn’t yours and u don’t take things. These are yours at home etc. She will get it eventually.
This is the age that lies start so unfortunately is a bit hard. Consider that we were kids too once and we just craved attention whether it was good or bad we didn’t care. When my daughter first stole I was mortified but I had to keep my cool so she doesn’t freak and start the lies. So I made her return the stolen item to the store and apologise to the manager. It was a little harsh but before going in I explained that we don’t just take what we want from others as they have worked hard for their things then the manager did the rest. Maybe just try talking. If it doesn’t work then get her to return and if that doesn’t work take something she loves and get her to hand it over to less fortunate children.