What would you do if family never visited?

What would you do if you had family that NEVER visited your child: their grandchild/niece/nephew? You’ve reached out, made the invitation open to visit( with notice), and yet the family still does not. Should you continue being the only one that makes an effort?

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No it sounds like they’re selfish. I wouldn’t continue to make the effort but still invite them to events such as birthdays etc.

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I don’t think you should keep making the effort. I’ve had this same problem and decided I was not going to force anyone to be apart of my children’s life. I know that it sucks but it’s truly their loss

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I would say it depends on the distance and financial situations. Like I would love to visit my family more but money and time says no. And my family lives far away, I would never expect them to come. Technology makes it so family can see each other and visit from miles away.

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cut them off for good

Nope. Going through this now. Love you precious child and don’t worry about those family members

My dad has met my 9.5 month old son 1 time 7 months ago. The way I see it…it’s his loss. :woman_shrugging:t3:

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Nope. Stop trying and give them the effort that they give you.

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Mine don’t visit. And I have no holla for any of them

Nope. Been there, done that. My kids are old enough to see it for themselves. We do our own thing. We still invite sometimes, but we expect it.

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Stop reaching out. They need to make time. Their loss. Not the child’s.

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Nope. You tried. Let them come to you. Otherwise, screw them and do you.

Nope been there done that and when my son got old enough to wonder why. I stopped because it was hurting him in the long run

I’d stop inviting them and stop making efforts also. If they wanna see my kids they can call me I’m not wasting my time anymore for no one.

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I’ve invited my nieces to come spend the night with me and my kids, but I didn’t realize that my now 8 yr old niece was terrified of dogs until I asked my brother and sis in law why she couldn’t come over. They have tried to get her too but she is too scared so I don’t force it I let my daughter stay with them. There could be an underlying problem. They have never been to our house since we got the dog.

I know i gave up…if they wanted to be a part of it all then they would be

Depends on how far away this family lives and if they put in any effort in another way (ft, texts to ask how they’re doing, etc.). We have family across the US that have only visited my son when he was born but ft often and text to see how he’s doing. We go over there once a year and don’t make a fuss about it.

No. If they don’t do it they dont care. If they did it would show in their actions. Actions speak way louder than words do. People can say they love you and you’re kid(s) all they want but if they dont show it its not genuine and want a title and not what comes with it.

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Nope. If they want to partake in your child’s life they will try to do so. Now living far away from each other, money issues, etc can be reasons they don’t visit. But if that’s not the case, then I wouldn’t even bother with them if they wouldn’t bother with you. My husband’s side of the family is like this and we stopped bothering and it’s been 2 years and they have still made no effort to see him. Might just be better to let family like that go

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My sisters Live one town over and I see them once every 2-3 years and my children have to be reminded that they have cousins and aunts .

Nah my brother did this to all our family him and he’s so called wife and her family are all doing there thing now . We haven’t talked to my brother in a year now I’m not reaching out to him I did for so long and I’m 100 :100: better and stress free without my brother and her side of the family I love my family so much I did the right thing . They haven’t reach out to us at all I’m ok now . Because I new who was the real fakes of the fam

Stop trying. I’ve gotten to the port of not sending Christmas cards or sending pics at all or even posting them on Facebook.

How do you manage that? I need serious tips.

Um no, you should stop trying. All you’re doing is hurting yourself by trying to force the issue…

Youve done your part. They kno how to get ahold of you if they want to come by for a visit.

Leave them alone. You’re breaking your own heart. I’ve been there. You’ve put in plenty effort. It’s their loss, not yours or your children’s.

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depends on how far away they live … if its 20 minutes that’s shitty… if it’s a couple hours away then you need to be a little more understanding of what they might have going on

either way, you’ve made the effort so they can’t blame anyone else but themselves if the baby doesn’t know who they are

Nope. Stop trying. If they want to be in your child’s life, they’d be asking to see them. That’s not up to you.

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Sucks to be them. Time to move on.

Been there. Done that. And not worth it! It was rough for me at first as family is very important for me. But when you are the o ly one making the effort than that is not fair. It should be an equal effort!

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Honestly I wouldn’t create a problem where the wasn’t one. At least you have family. My husbands family only comes around when they want to start trouble and my family (2 ppl) only come around when they need something but couldn’t be bothered otherwise. I would say pick your battles, this used to bother me also, but the older I get the more I understand it’s not worth creating a problem over.

I just let them choose who they want to be in my kids life. Other than that I gotta fill empty seats where I thot family would always be there for them.

Nope 🤷 those who want to be in your life or your children’s lives will make an effort especially if you’ve reached out many times before. Stop wasting your time and energy because you will only end up disappointed.

My daughter is 4 and her family members on her dad side hasn’t come to A event for her . Not even her baby shower, and most live right down the road. I didn’t invite them this year🤷🏻‍♀️

Nope. My mom did for us growing up and they never came to see us. Now that I have my son they say they want to see us and they never do. I don’t want my little man to get his hopes up and get disappointed when they never show up

I would continue the effort. Maybe transportation is an issue. Maybe money. Maybe a reason you know nothin
g about. I would continue to make the effort until you just cant make the effort, you know what i mean? Your children are the ones who benefit in so many ways. Just continue to do what youre doing and bless you!

Yes i would continue.

Nah, not a big deal. Just do what you do. No need to invite as you have said they have to give you notice. My family always check first. When my son was young the road went one way. Our place to theirs. I sent pics and whatnot didn’t bother me at all.

This is exactly what is happening to me. I stopped trying. If they want to see my daughter, that’s on them. I have her to think about and take care of. My family lives in the same town and they still don’t come and see her.

Why make the effort when they don’t?
I have trouble getting my kids back so I can see them. All their grandparents aunts/uncles make a great effort to see them across states via phone or in person. One side has I think 13 grandkids now and she makes a huge effort to contact them regularly and calls them on their birthday for special one on one chat (2 were born on the same day so 2 calls)

For mine, if they visit then yay, if they dont then that’s on them.

I quit trying. Now we hardly have any family other than the ones I’ve let stay on my facebook. They wouldn’t even know how our kids were if I didn’t post

Family is not always blood. Find your family, friend are fantastic! Do your own thing, start your own traditions.

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This is the same exact thing I was going through and the best thing to do is leave them be. If they dont wanna come see the baby and you dont bother them no more.

So relatable…their loose not my lovely kids…

I live along way from my kids and most of the grandkids so its hard for them to come see me even though I have their youngest brother and sister who are almost 11 and 2 years old. But I continue to reach out and go see them when I can I also video chat text and talk on fone.

Really depends how far away they are. My brother could say we never try to see his kids cause I wasn’t there for the birth if his second😭 but I was 2 weeks postpartum and the litterally live on the east coast and im on the west coast sho visiting is hard and expensive.

Nope. U made the advances they haven’t tried. Just let it go.

Do you visit them or insist they come to your house? It’s a 2 way street.

Why keep making the effort when they clearly have no interest

Personally, I gave the invite, told them the door would be open if they ever wanted to walk through it. In my eyes the more people that love my child the better. That was 9 years ago. She still has never met them or seen them or even spoken to them on the phone. I don’t feel bad because I did my part. Even if they showed up at my door today I would open it and invite them in. They won’t. That’s on them. They are really missing out.

I can relate with this. I have a huge family and so does my husband but no matter how hard we have tried it’s still my husband, me and my daughter at our thanksgiving table and going through all the holidays. It’s sad but u will get use to it. There’s only so much u can do

I do have family that that. Husband and mine. They want us over but they never wanna come over. Boom we just visit each set maybe 5 times a yr for the sake of respect but none of our kids care to be around them because they dont know them.

I was really close with my mom’s side of the family growing up. I’ve had 4 kids and some of them have only met my first two, 10 and 9 years old. We only live 1-1.5 hours away but I don’t like inviting myself places and especially bringing along 4 kids. So it is what it is, they don’t ask about them or even me either so whatever.

In this exact position with my boyfriend family, have even offered to meet them somewhere. But nope. Could care less. Never ask how shes doing. If it weren’t for me bringing her to thanksgiving or Christmas and posting updates and pictures of her on fb they wouldn’t know a damn thing about her or even know her. I say it’s their loss and problem, I’m not going to force them to be in her life. She’s better off without them tbh, I’ve experienced some awful disrespect from them and could care less if she had a relationship with them. Even if they were decent people if they don’t make the effort they don’t deserve to know her.

No. Same spot with my family. I understand why some don’t or can’t but my dad won’t even make an effort. Not for bdays, holidays nothing. So I quit asking and trying.

My one sister in law hasn’t even talked to my husband and I since before we got married. Our daughter is almost 10 months old and she still hasn’t met her one aunt. We have decided that if she doesn’t want to talk to us or meet her niece then that’s on her. She’s just being petty over stupid stuff.