What would you do if you had a friend that you invited to your child’s birthday party who decides not to show up at the last minute? For some context, i invited a friend of mine and her 4 children to a birthday party for my child. At the last minute, she’s saying she probably can’t come. It’s so frustrating because before I made the booking at this venue, I asked her multiple times if they could DEFINITELY be there, because there’s no refunds, and I still have to pay for no shows. It’s $37 per child.
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If she is a considerate person she would offer to pay you back for what you paid for her 4 kids…She’s the one that canceled last minute so yea not fair to you
I’d invoice her. Fucking think you’re waste my time and money think again.
I mean some times things come up that’s last minute. That is a risk you do make while planning a child’s birthday party. You can be upset but if she can’t come for whatever reason she can’t come
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Depends on her reasoning, honestly. If it’s just a matter of not wanting to, I’d be pretty annoyed. If something genuinely came up; family emergency or one of the kids was sick, I don’t think you can hold it against her. I wouldn’t want someone dragging their sick kid(s) to a birthday party risking everyone there getting sick too. 
But without the actual context of WHY they aren’t coming, it’s hard to say how you should feel about it. If all else, she could reimburse you knowing it’s a nonrefundable thing.
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Unfortunately you can’t “make” anyone pay you back. And unless it was a good reason, they wouldn’t be getting invited to other parties
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Idk this is tough bc I don’t know what kind of friend she is to you. Best friend I’d let her know unfortunately if she’s never been a good friend anyway I think losses need to be counted and never invite her again to anything unless it’s free like a party at your home or something. And that’s if you decide to stay friends with her. But I’d really like to know what came up so last minute she couldn’t come.
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When my kids were younger there were many times I was a now show… my son was not a car rider… many times on way, he puke… boom turn around and went home…with 4 kids, not sure their age, but you never know… I only had 2, and could be hard getting ready
That’s exactly why I’ll never do a party like that. I’ve had it happen at baby showers, birthday parties, just plain get togethers. The reason why also makes a big difference, sometimes shit happens we can’t control. But if they just blew you off? I’ve cut off people for it with no shame. Fuck em lol
But my friends & I are friends because we are open & honest with each, my friends understood and we never held grudges either, we helped each other & understood each other
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I seriously don’t understand why people do this. You mentioned this was your friend - are the children close? Maybe next time let your child make the guest list
Dont invite her next time
I would call/text and say, sorry you missed the party is everything ok
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My friends aren’t obligated to me! If they come to event good if not also good,
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If she has a good reason but it didn’t sound like it. If not a good reason don’t invite her again
Depends what the reasoning is.
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This is why I never go somewhere that you have to pay for, because mostly only family shows up now unfortunately
I’d be angry in the moment but without further context I wouldn’t be able to judge her because there may be a reasonable reason why they can’t attend
Honestly, it’s hard taking multiple kids out. Maybe she was mentally exhausted from the day- I have 3 kids and they aren’t always in the mood to go to birthday parties and do things. In the middle of nap:30 or a routine change makes things so hard sometimes. Give your “friend” some grace. Money is just money, take the L and check on your friend. 
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It’s ok to be disappointed. It’s not ok to make her feel guilty. There coukd be a million reasons that are valid. Are you mad about losing her company or the money? Maybe that will help give you clarity too
That is sad. I would sit her down and tell her how disappointed you are. It’s not the $100 that you had to pay. It’s her lack of commitment. Just tell her how sad you are and that’s all.
You know your friend better than we do , is this her personality or just a one time incident ?
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First of all I would never pay $37plus for each child to come to my kids birthday party. There are always people who never show up
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My childhood best friend didn’t come to my sons first birthday that her and her kids was invited to months in advance and everytime we talked it was I can’t wait to see him on his birthday but the day before it was we’re not gonna make it bc my husband planned something for me and the kids with his friend and his kids at the round one arcade and we are no longer friends bc that could’ve waited for after his party that ended at 5pm
My best friends miss my kids. I miss there’s. Sometimes we make it. Sometimes we don’t. We are all adults with our own kids and own schedules. Life happens. Doesn’t make them less of a friend
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She could be mentally exhausted. I have 6 kids and I have cancelled on friends before because they’ve been really difficult but saying that if I knew how much they were paying for my child/children I would either force myself to go or pay the cost. It’s a risk you take but disgusting if she just chose not to go
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Did you find out what the reason was
Before getting angry
Could be reason
Who knows
Do you know in the old days we had birthday parties and gatherings at our homes. Kids are to spoiled nowadays. Just my opinion. Don’t want to offend anyone.
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I would ask the friend why they couldn’t come to prevent my temper from rising prematurely.
I would also get a different venue perhaps one that charges per room instead of per person or one that is free next time my kid’s birthday comes around.
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I’ve had this happen several times. I stopped inviting them. If sometimes comes up like they are sick, car breaks down, ect then it’s understandable. If they just decide not to come, then just don’t invite them anymore.
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Hmmm In the first place… why are you spending so much money. This boggles my mind. What ever happened to kids come over and play, use their imagination to have a good time together. Kids birthday parties or even weddings are getting way out of hand. They are a celebration for close friends not everybody you ever met. It depends on the reason for cancelling as to how you handle the situation. If you chose to spend that much money then part of the problem is you.
It would honestly depend on the reason she didn’t show. Emergencies do happen and sometimes you get called in to work etc. But outside of an emergency, if she just didn’t feel like going then I’d be pissed and let her know that you had to pay money for something so her kids could be included and then she flaked. I would hear her out though and see what she has to say. I wouldn’t bring it up when I was mad I would make sure I was calm and I would just explain that I was upset. At the end of the day you know how she is you know if she’s responsible person or if she flakes a lot, so make further plans with that in mind.
I’m sure you love your child but $37 per child at a birthday party venue seems expensive. It depends of course on where you live. And money is relative to how much you have I think frugal is almost always a good idea
I have 
social anxiety and it’s happened to where I fully plan on going. I’m looking forward to it. I love their kids like my own. But I don’t do well in crowds. So when the day comes, now and then I’m just drained and don’t have it in me to mask it. It sucks, I hate it. And I feel super guilty. But I don’t want to put any kind of damper on their kids day. So I come over at another time with their gifts and usually I make their favorite treat (cuz Aunt Kate loves to cook and bake) and have our own small little after party together.
Luckily, my BFF is so understanding and supportive. I may not make it on the scheduled day. But I always show up.
You are absolutely entitled to your feelings. You’re allowed to be disappointed and upset and even angry. But maybe have a conversation with them and figure out what’s going on before you decide to throw in the towel or just assume that you don’t hold any value in their life.
I hope everything works out OK. 
I’d consider making future parties ones that don’t involve per kid costs. Unless the price can be paid at the event or after depending on the kids that actually show up.
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When my kid turned 5, NO ONE showed up for his party. It was all family and close friends that had been invited. Everyone canceled the day of just saying they “couldn’t make it.”
I had made 2 cakes - one Lightning McQueen cake and one Sally cake (from Cars). Had to figure out what to say to my son, who was so excited to celebrate his birthday, and couldn’t understand why no one else was there.
He kept asking me, “When are we going to have my REAL party where everyone comes?” It was fucking heartbreaking.
No one had any real “emergencies” or anything, btw. They all just collectively decided they “didn’t feel like” showing up that day, and I guess everyone just assumed “everyone else” would show up, so it wouldn’t matter if just they didn’t.
I’d be sending her the bill
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I had a friend who’s son’s birthday was a week after my daughter’s birthday and I invited them to come to her party the weekend of her birthday and she said they would definitely be there, which was a few weeks in advance. A few days later I got an invitation from her to her son’s party on the same freaking day as my daughter’s. Claimed she forgot when ours was. Never talked to her again. Completely inconsiderate and didn’t care about what she put my child through. The year before that happened she had her son’s party the weekend after my daughter’s party and we went to each other’s with no problems. Never knew why she did that but she sent me that invitation in the same message as the invitation I sent her so she saw the date and time of ours when she sent it to me. Some people just aren’t worth the stress.
Actually I’d have the party somewhere they don’t charge per child/person ,life’s hard and things do happen.
She has 4 kids… I’m sure she had a good reason for not being able to make it. As a parent you have to consider all possibilities when throwing a birthday party. We honestly quit because the cost of the party was the same as taking my kids to do whatever they wanted… Like the water park passes for the summer or going to the beach for a few days.
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Then I would gift that to 4 kids coming in after me, upset yes and no invite in the future to places that charge
I stick to home parties, nothing with a price per head. Life happens and as a mother of 3 you never know when someone’s going to get sick or injured. It usually always coincides with an event for my household. My friends are really understanding though, and would not be mad at me if my family life prevented me from attending a birthday party.
You can be upset you lost money but don’t be mad at your friend. At least she communicated, she could have just not shown up and not said a word about it
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Mmmmmm well understand you point but other ppl do have a life n family that comes first. If yall are GREAT friends im sure there was a reason she couldn’t make.
I would be LIVID if she was not sick 
. And I’d have to let her know how much it cost for her negligence.
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That’s a ridiculous amount to spend on a birthday party, well okay if you’re minted 
If she’s a friend, and confirmed that she and the kids would be there, then she’d cover the cost. Or at least I would if I did that to my friend. It’s just rude not to.
I’d ask my friend if they’re okay.
A good friend wouldn’t ditch last minute without reason.
Stop stressing about it. Yes it’s annoying but with 4 kids, anything can happen.
i’d try to find out the reason. like if it was an emergency, give her grace. if not she owes you $128 
Birthdays are way over rated. Yes even for kids…