I usually go through my husband’s phone; it’s been a habit to look through his social media account, messages, or photos. He usually doesn’t mind. I recently gave birth to our 2nd baby, and my husband seemed a bit withdrawn, so on one of my random “checking” through his phone, I found messages. He initiated conversations with girls saying, hi, or how are you? Short messages, I really didn’t bother till this particular message; he actually messaged his ex-girlfriend. I know it sounds dumb, and it was nosey of me, but I felt he was keeping something from me. I didn’t confront him till a week later when I found out through a notification on my timeline saying they are friends now. It broke me into pieces, and I felt so mad. Upon confronting him, he said it was just a random HI n Bye message and that he was sorry. So he actually took the step of actually deleting all his social media accounts and messages. He begged me to give him another chance for the sake of our marriage and the kids. I was willing to walk away at that point, but I don’t want my kids to suffer because of my decision. We have had our ups and downs in our marriage, but we always solved them; this issue, though, really broke my heart. Should I give him that chance?? Or should I not??
It sounds innocent to me
The fact that he was still allowing you to go through his phone tells me it was probably innocent. He’s apologized and it sounds like it was genuine. You feeling hurt by it is valid too though so it’s important that he hears that this is a boundary for you, you aren’t comfortable with him speaking to other women. I’d give him another chance though.
If you feel the need to be “randomly checking” his social media and going through all his messages that answers your question I would think
Honestly its up to you, sometimes people can fix it and get over it, other people it can haunt them and its hard to let go and it can cause more issues or unhappiness. Feel for what you can handle. Most of the time it happens again sadly…
If you feel the need to go through his phone on the regular you already have trust issues
I stopped at “ I usually go through my husbands phone “ and it’s a habit to look through it “ …
Why do you feel the need to go through his phone/accounts to begin with? I feel like we’re missing some info here
The fact you go through his phone says a lot about all this. You know he can’t be trusted. That’s why you do it. Infidelity is a NO go.
Randomly go through his phone? Its not random when you always do it. Obviously you have trust issues. A marriage is never going to work out/last forever when there is trust issues. If you feel you have to end a marriage because he became friends with his ex on Facebook then you probably shouldn’t be married to him anyway.
When you feel the need to become a detective in your relationship, it’s already over.
Maybe he needs to give YOU a 2nd chance for being a controlling fiend. SMDH…If you feel you need to go through his phone…just go ahead and set him free. Bet poor dude is on a short short leash.
Why is it that everyones initial response is divorce youre not just making a choice for yourself but your family (kids) as well come on theres enough divorce already kids in broken families
I would be happy cause I want to get rid of him
My ex husband of 18 years was the same way and I never checked his phone. I would always find out on accident…like when he would try to show me something on his phone and a notification would come through. I refused to be disrespected any further that amongst all of the other crap I went through with him. I’ve been with my fiance going on 3 years and never once felt like I needed to touch his phone or that he wouldn’t even consider doing anything like that… and I know the password and could go through it whenever I wanted.
OMG this is going to hurt your kids im sick too death of people saying they are going to stay for the kids that is not the fukn answer that does so much long term damage on them pore kids
Honestly, if he went as far as deleting his social media over a simple “hi/bye” message, there’s probably more that he didn’t want you to find. In my experience, they delete everything so you can’t dig deeper. My husband’s affair started out with a simple “how ya been” message to an ex. We are getting past his infidelity, and it is possible that your husband’s didn’t get that far. He may have enough to respect for you to stop it from going any deeper than you have already expressed dislike of. If both of you want to be happy, you can be. Try counseling if you feel it will help.
If you have to constantly go through your husband’s phone. Your relationship is already over. You clearly don’t respect him as you don’t give him any sort of privacy
Seems like a pretty petty reason to get divorced. But that’s just me
You’re ready to divorce him over some innocent messages? Going through his phone regularly? These sound like you problems and not him problems. Maybe you should be asking him to forgive you for being insecure and over reacting. Is he “allowed” to have friends or talk to any woman ever?
So he can’t talk to people or make new friends. If I were that insecure or didn’t trust my husband more than that I would leave. My husband is a social person. He talks to people guys and women. Why do women think they control who their spouses talk to or are friends with. I think there is more to this though
If you feel the need to check his phone then you obviously don’t trust him so whats the point in being with him other than damaging yours his and the kids mental health (they do pick up on your feelings) kids are not a reason to stay with someone
Did he delete it or just deactivate it? If you go through his phone regularly, then it’s because you can’t trust him. If he just deactivated it, I bet you could reactivate it and go through his FB history to see what he was reeeeeaaallllly doing 
If you need to go through his phone that much why be together ?!?!
I mean, hi and bye is really nothing. He knows you go through his stuff so he didn’t feel like it was inappropriate.
I would kick him out ASAP !
What you allow to slip by easy will never ever stop. A lil slap on the hand ain’t goin to do one thing. Make him realize you ain’t playin and don’t need the mess. As women. We don’t need any man. They forget tht. We deserve better. Stand your ground. I know I’m a strong woman and I don’t need any extra bs makin me feel any less of myself. And you don’t either !
I’d say marriage counseling. And go from there seems, both parties have stuff to work out. But when it comes down to it if you can build that trust back up on both ends its definitely not going to work.
While I’ll never understand, why some partners go through their significant others phones, I think only you can tell when it’s time for YOU to leave. If you feel your kids will suffer bc of you leaving, then don’t. But if you feel like you will suffer if you stay, then leave. But, woman to woman, we should never have to feel like we are looking for something with our partner. Your partner should give you all the trust, and confidence you need, for you to not ever have to feel that way. 
Good luck girl!
Get a private detective
Did I mention, get a private detective?
I was once in this situation before, and i know how it feels when you detect your man is cheating on you. but the solution came when i talk to my friend at work who finally help me out to resolve this issue.
It’s the best money you’ll ever spend. Their job is to find irrefutable evidence that you can take to court in the event of a divorce. You’ll have pictures, times, dates, locations, and who they’re with, texts, phone records, and possibly emails. These guys do this every day; they’re pros. You could spend a lot of time chasing your tail trying to catch them. These folks can do it in a matter of days. Even if you catch them and want to reconcile, rent a safety deposit box of your own (never a bad idea) and keep what they gave you in there. Chances are, you’ll need it later, I’m sad to say. Prepare for the worst, hope for the best, just talk to elitecracker12 AT g mail. You can’t go wrong with a detective. Tell them what you need to know, and ask their opinion on what else you should try to get. There are even agencies who specialize in cheating spouses. You’ll get definitive answers, and proof to back it, in case you have to lawyer up and go to divorce court. It definitely increases the chance of you walking out with a nice settlement.