What would you do if your partners family didn't like you?

I’ve been there all because I stopped letting them use me so I was like ohhhhh well my own family doesn’t like me either so get in line🤷🏻‍♀️

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They want him to see how you don’t respect them. They try to appear to him. They are so nice to you, but you blocked them, so don’t care about anything except your children and your boyfriend. You made the wrong action when blocking them. You can let them on your page without any care for their comments on your posts.
Keep your life away from them and tell your boyfriend don’t tell anyone how your life is going together. They try to make a gap between you and your boyfriend. They want you to abandon him first, so don’t let them control your life. You must move to another country and keep your life away from them.

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I would say that its workable and livable but not enjoyable. But the last sentence says it all. If this is a hard no for you then I’d say you need to tell this man that you both need to find a better and safe boundaries and expectations for the relationship with them. You don’t want them putting you on blast or in the middle of stuff. If you can’t or he won’t then I’d say move on. This is his baggage and expecting you to manage it without help support or understanding is no good. I bet he has poor boundaries with them and is unable to manage these relationships himself.

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I relate this. Because of his family, I always want an easy out. I don’t want to remarry into another family especially when they treat me badly and even in my bfs mind, I’m the bad guy. :person_shrugging: That’s the only issue is his family but even so I can’t do it.

We are dealing with the same thing but my parents toward my partner. Unfortunately neither of us make enough money to be able to be out on our own right now, because he is still unable to secure employment after being laid off from the pandemic. So im living with my parents and he’s living with his 2 hours away. He still comes to stay with me sometimes but refuses to move back in because of the trauma we have both gotten from my family. Believe me when I say we can’t wait to get out of here and if the shit continues when we’re gone, we will be cutting all ties.

Your partner needs to stand up for you. It’s his family so it’s not going to be easy but they are out of line and it can’t be allowed to continue. Either they stop and they apologize and grow up… or you all stop contact. Honestly it’ll probably be the second option. Their behavior is not acceptable and it should not be okay with your boyfriend. That’s how you know of he’s a keeper.

First off don’t tell him you won’t marry him because of his family that’s super sad if he is standing up for you and not letting them come inbetween you guys I don’t think it should matter :sweat: I know it will still effect you guys for holidays ect but no family is perfect and most mother in laws are not easy to be around seriously they made a reality tv show about it lol monster in laws it’s probably right up your alley you should buy your mother in law the whole 1st season for Christmas :mrs_claus::rofl::skull::sob::rofl: lmao and if she asks if your trying to imply something just say no I just love the show though you would love it to :joy:

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I have gone thru this same thing and me and him have been together right at 8 years they would try to be all nice and then talked my boyfriend into leaving me and our kids to go stay with them and during that time tried telling him I was cheating on him and that I was trying to mess with his brother which was all lies but it did cause alot of problems but now I tell him you can go around them it’s your family but me and my kids don’t go around them

My fiancé’s family were always so nice to me. Then, my fiancé and I moved back to my home town because he had lost his job and found one where I’m from. Next thing I know, his nephew was getting married and I wasn’t invited to the wedding, so my fiance refused to go, even though I begged him to. Now, no one really has anything to do with me. After his mom passed, I was told that she had told everyone I had trapped him by getting pregnant with our son. I let all this get to me until, one day, I decided their problem with me was just that… their problem. I freed myself and feel so much better.

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Dealt with that with my last relationship and it didn’t work. I couldn’t do it honestly it was terrible and he wouldn’t stand up for me

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In the end as long you’re happy with your little family then who cares. They’ll just have to accept the fact that you and him are happy together regardless if they like you or not. Just keep moving forward and ignore them eventually they’ll have to accept it and move forward too

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if you guys take care of your family and are happy marry that man and treat him well his messed up parents should determine if he can be married and happy!

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Do not let that be the reason to not marry him. I would talk to him though and tell him how you’re feeling. It is his family and he needs to stick up for you.

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My own family don’t like me, who cares! As long as he’s good to you and doesn’t change when y’all are around them I wouldn’t care!

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Don’t let ANYONE disrespect you or your children. What is your partner’s response to his family’s behavior? If he wants to get married, then your children will be his children and he’s going to have to address the issues eventually. Ignoring them isn’t going to help anyone involved because it just creates more stress, tension and drama. Talk to him and see if he feels that any of this is a problem. If he doesn’t then it’s time to move on. There’s no reason for you to be sick and stressed over other people’s nonsense especially if it’s hurting your kids. Best of luck.

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Well first of all, you should not be declining a proposal because of his family :woozy_face:

Second, has he tried to stand up for you? If not, run. If so, then that’s a them-problem.

Honestly it would be great to have everyone get along but it doesn’t always happen and it’s sad. But it’s NOT your fault. That is their choice not to know you. You just need to be the great mama and partner you are and that’s it. They will either fall in line or it’s their loss. The kids will also eventually see because I would bet money they will make those comments in front of the kids when you aren’t around. I was a kid in that situation. Just keep your head up and love your little family.

As far as your facebook page goes, delete and block the people with all the negativity. Also, your not marrying his family, your marrying him. The hell with them!!! Good luck to to you.

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The man wants to marry you, not his family. Marry the man. Love him.

Someone already said this earlier, but as far as social media goes, block the people that are making negative comments from seeing your posts and do you. It’s blocking people from seeing your post doesn’t work, block them overall. For actual family members of mine and not in-laws, I had to do a fair amount of blocking to keep the toxic people out of my life. My life has been so much better as a result.

You do nothing.
You are with their son. Who cares if they like or dislike you. They aren’t your concern.

I wouldn’t give a fuck- and KEEP on moving.

If he isn’t standing up for you and cutting off his family, until they treat you correctly, then he doesn’t deserve you or your kids. Leave.

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Why do you not want to get married to the man you are with! The more you care about what people think the more opinions they have! Let them talk and ignored them! Don’t confront gossip or instigate an argument! They don’t deserve your love or your hate because it’s just wasted time and wasted life!

I have seen this many times. You have intuition for a reason. If you don’t feel like it’s a good fit with them being involved in that manner it sounds like going low or no contact would be best. You and your partner and your children are the unit. The extended family is just that extended family. They aren’t in the immediate circle. They sound like they have too much time on their hands to find the time to so called discipline your children. You have to protect your babies from the passive aggressive bs. Certain emotional scars take longer to heal. Trust your instincts. If you love your partner get counseling and work things out for your selves and your family

I always great relationship with my in laws - " both sets.
My ex rarly see his parents because they dont like his new wife - they dont see their other granddaughter much either.
When me and hubby were seprated my MIL wouldnt let gf at her home. She very close with my boys.
When digoses with cancer my Mil came stay with me & my boys for a month.
I personal wont marry someone whos family hates me. -
Family everything to me - no drama for me.

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Well first it sounds like they have a problem… so you do youand whatever it is they are doing is none of your business… let them be miserable on their on accord and pray for them.

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I have been there and we cut his family off totally. The drama was just to much.if you can’t cut them off then block them on social media. Also sometimes they want attention so just ignore it as much as you can
I know it sucks and I feel for you I hope it gets better

My husband and I have been together 36 years, married 32. His parents have hated me from day one, literally saying that I don’t come from the kind of family they want to be associated with. I was congenital until their ugly comments spilled over to our children then, I cut off all communication. Our children are grown now and are both successful engineers, one aerospace, the other mechanical. Over the years they’ve learned grandma and grandpa are prejudice and make assumptions without caring for the truth so, they have absolutely nothing to do with them. I’ve found peace in our own little family. I married their son, not them. In the end, WE are all that matters.

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Don’t let them dictate your life and how you do with your children or your spouse sounds like they need to grow up you need to cut all ties with them and sounds as if your spouse needs to check them and put them in their place if he really loves you and if you are ready to marry him then do it don’t let nobody take that shine from you ppl are miserable in their own life’s and want to bring others down let it go in one ear and out the other good luck to you

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Move and Save you money so you can get your on home.
GOOD LUCK

Trust your gut…
If u get married it will only get worse…
They are miserable hateful people it sounds like and will never change

Well it all depends on your boyfriend. If he lets them insult you they will. If he puts his foot down they will ease up. Trust me I’ve been there.

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Stay away from them. They are toxic and you don’t even want to spend time and energy to fight it to change them…. People are so :grimacing:
Good luck

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I am there not living with them but my man’s family ugh some. Of them don’t like me it’s annoying but my man told me something that changed things he chose me

He needs to talk to his family if he truly loves you. “If you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say nothing”

My in laws hated me for years. But over time they came around. Yes it got on my nerves they never got to know their grandkids and what not. But there’s really nothing you can do to change them until they are ready to change. When they do let them come around

Mine doesnt really care for me. They play like they do. But tbh they really dont. I just keep on with my life with my man and my kids. They like me awesome if they dont… well it sucks but oh well. Not everyones going to like me.

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This happened to me. But we didnt live with my in laws. But I never understood why they had a problem with me or why lies were being told about me…probably because I didn’t kiss their butt. But I was respectful but that didnt matter. Like I told my husband I didnt marry your family I married you.

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Been living with it for 45 years

A good case of leave it n them alone works for me

Me honestly it’s the ones you live with you should worry about. Delete everyone else :joy::joy:

Girl please if you want to marry him tell him yes don’t worry about his family, your not marrying them. Snobs will be snobs

My hubby and I have been together for all but 16 years now. His family HATES me and I’m ok with it bc I’m with him not his family. I am civil to them when we are in the same place but I will not let them disrespect me or my children. Sometimes family isn’t everything and he learned that… Or there just bitter bc there life/ relationship sucks.

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Fuck em. What’s important is your little family & your partner should stick up for you & stand by you.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What would you do if your partners family didn't like you?

Is there a relation here? Just curious :slightly_smiling_face:

It’s soooo hard to live with anybody that’s not your own little family. My husband & I had the rockiest start, expecting a baby too soon & relying on family, 3 different homes between our parents because it’s just hard! There’s always going to be opinions or drama. But after years of finally being on our own, everything settled. It seems like there’s always going to be family drama somewhere, so keep your head high! I’m sure that things have been defended but it’s your life, you know who you are, don’t let lies nor the drama bring you down. Stay focused on yours! That’s the best advice I can give as I’ve been through it.

Dont let them come between yall and talk to him about it and see if he is on your side and will defend u will need be if yall get married.maybe he neess to tell them he loves u and for them to back off. If he loves u he will and yall be a family.

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I don’t have time for people that don’t have time for me. I’d tell my husband that if his family don’t like me, I won’t go around them.

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Your husband needs to put them in their place… Simple as that​:person_shrugging: my husband didn’t even graduate highschool, like I did. He wasn’t working. I was. He’d stay home and care for my kids(his step). My family wouldn’t dare say anything negative about him like that. My dad tried once, my mom put him in his place. We’ve had problems, and seperated, and I took him back to work on our marriage, and when my dad tried to voice his opinion, my mom told him not to say anything, because it was my marriage and if I wanted to work on it, then that’s what I was going to do. :person_shrugging:

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I would not continue in the relationship, because that puts a barrier between his family and his partner.

My experience is don’t try to gossip about the negative parts with your partner. It is possible your partner wants you to be happy. If the timing and environment is right to discuss experiences and or situations where your partners family made you uncomfortable and or feel unwelcome or negative than do so.

You however need and should try to be the positive and remain calm :relieved:. Remember is your partners family and I know that’s important to you. Choose your battles wisely Nd choose your thought patterns and words even wiser. You got this. Boundaries can be established with out escalating tension… you be you and remain calm and wise.

  1. Don’t let them come between you and your partner and 2) time heals all things. Just remember your relationship is between you and your partner, no one else. Just tune it all out.
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Mine hate me. But honestly I do what I want regardless. Don’t be affected by it. As long as they don’t disrespect you and are civil in front of the children fuck them. Your partner should talk wIth Them if it really affects you to the you don’t want to be Married when he does. It’s easier said than done
But Be a tea bag in boiling water not an egg.

Marry or leave
What do you want?
Not him or them…you

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literally WHAT assholes. Wow. they sound like disrespectful uppity fucks. Im so sorry. Your partner needs to step in and correct them.

You owe them nothing except to nice and cordial at function that absolutely require your presence. Stop going around them. T

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Honestly hun if you guys love each other and he wants to marry you despite family drama dont worry what they think. People will always have opinions as long as you guys are happy and your kids are happy thats all that matters

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What would you do if your partners family didn't like you?

I couldn’t be with someone if their family didn’t like me

My husbands family didnt like me at (he ran away at 17 to be with me) and to be honest i really hurt him in the beginning of our relationship so they had reason but we stuck together and have been together 11 years almost 12…they have come around they know im not going anywhere…If y’all love each other THAT’S ALL THAT MATTERS say yes and ignore his family…I know easier said then done but don’t waste energy on them don’t give them that power over you and eventually they will come around or not but in the end you still win cause yall are happy and together :black_heart:

i would go talk to then individually and see of there was a way to sort it out and if not then see ya

My in laws can hate me all they want :woman_shrugging:t2: only person it hurts is the kids. Don’t let it bother you

My m-I-l hates me and that’s ok. The first time she met me she called me a whore. I was 19 fresh home from the military. Her son was my brother’s best friend. His dad loved me and encouraged him to get to know me and all that… at first I wasn’t looking for anything other than a friendship (he was recently divorced with 3 kids) and I was only planning on being home for surgery and then shipping off with the military again … it didn’t work that way… when we moved in together his mother felt the need to constantly tell me how much she loved his ex wife and how he should be with her even if it was only for his kids and that if I had any love for him I’d leave him and let them work things out. She always compared me to his ex wife. Always brought his ex wife into ALL of our business everything. Eventually he had enough and told her if she couldn’t keep her mouth shut she could stay away. She has been in and out of his life most of his life whenever she felt fit. She doesn’t really have a relationship with her grandkids(any of them) she sees them maybe 4-5 times a year and she lives less that 10 miles away :woman_shrugging: as far as I care I don’t like her and she don’t like me and my husband would choose me a million times over because he knows when it comes down to it the only person standing beside him helping him through everything at the end of it all is me

Doesn’t matter, if we are together - I’m going to work on us and not on either of our families , this is our relationship not theirs so if they like it or not that’s their problem not ours

My husbands family hates me and it’s pretty much ruined our marriage. We have two kids together and I’m STILL considering divorce because of how terrible I feel all the time due to trauma they’ve caused.

I’ve had nothing to do with my in-laws for 30 years and I’m absolutely ok with that. They treated me badly for no reason. They spread rumors about me. The final straw was them treating my then toddler bad. I quit associating with them after that. I don’t need that negativity in my life.