How can I tell someone to leave me alone politely? I have come into a woman’s refuge, and befriended a woman, a few week into being here I think she’s a bit too full on. I’ve known her less that a month and she asks me to lend her money every week, she owes me 60 and has today asked for 10 and I feel awful saying no because she knows I have money and she claims it’s for her kids. I’m studying an online course aswell as being a full time mum to a child with disabilities so I don’t get out much but I like it like this. She knocks on my door everyday at least 5 times asking if she can come in or if I can go out. And when I say no she sends her kids up to ask the same thing. She woke me and my daughter up at 6am (we wake up at 10) to ask if I had any milk for her kids breakfast.
The second she sees me active on Facebook she calls me or messages me so I’ve set myself to offline, when I take the bin out or go to do my washing in the laundry room she comes out and says ‘what you doing’ or if she sees me leave she asks what I’m doing, every time I try to go food shopping she invites herself along and it’s hard enough doing shopping a disabled child let alone this woman and her 2 kids.
I’ve made every excuse up I can to avoid her ‘I’m not well, my child isn’t well, I have a headache, I’m studying’ and this woman does not get it. I understand she’s probably lonely, but I came here to get away from the control and feeling pushed into a corner and now I’m pushed into a corner again, I’ve even explained that I’m not much of a people person and she got all emotional and mad and started saying ‘if you don’t like me just say so’ and it’s not that I don’t like her, I do…but In small portions, she’s to full on and wants to be with me 24/7, what can I do?
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Just be straight with her. Tekl ger the truth. If she gets upset that’s on her but she wont getit until your very firm with tbe truth.
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Tell her you need some space. You need to focus on you and your child and you can’t do that with her hanging around every second.
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Just tell her no to all of it. No is a complete sentence and you don’t have to explain yourself.
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Tell her the truth…if she doesn’t like it you have already tried being polite…plant your feet and be firm…she needs to focus on her kids and providing for her kids and not taking from others. It’s not your responsibility to provide for her…sounds like shes using and trying to manipulate the situation and you. Put yourself and your baby first tell her to back off and NO…you have a right to say no.
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I would advise her of food pantries in the area and services to help with financial issues. Just let her know you are overwhelmed and only have availability for how ever much time you can delegate to it. If you want to maintain the relationship.
It sounds like she has bad boundaries and bad support. It’s unfortunate but you don’t need to make this your issue.
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No is a complete sentence. You don’t owe her an explanation. Giving her money left and right takes away from your family. I had to look at it from that angle and explain to my boyfriend when I laid the law down about handing it out to his family.
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Be honest with her just yell her no I’m sorry your a nice women but I don’t want a friendship ke company or anything
You say ‘ok listen… I’m too busy to be friends with anyone right now… my kid, my school… my life… I just want to be left alone to get my life together… I’ll let you know when I’m free’… simple.
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Say I’m sorry but no when she asks for money if she asks why say u dont have any to spare. Sounds like she is using you not befriending you. Qnd when she wants to hang sorry I cant gotta do this with the kids or gotta study for an exam. I will let you know when I’m available. If she really keeps pushing just be like look im sorry but j cant be friends with you right now.
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Any woman’s refuge is nothing but crackheads who take and steal
If you don’t start saying no then she’ll start stealing your shit. Speaking from experience
Tell an advocate to talk to her and ask her to stop with the begging
U have needs to she’s using it for dope, stop funding her addiction
As for the constant need for your attention just tell her
I’m not here to make friends I’m sorry I’m working on myself and I can’t do that when taking care of other people. If you’re not straight up she won’t stop. Be glad u don’t share a room with her cuz my roommate stole all my shit
I would tell her how you feel
I’m terrible at saying no too. I’ve learnt to keep it close to my chest about how much money I actually have. Tell her that you had some unforseen bills and that you don’t have enough money to give her anymore, that you’ve budgeted for what you need. It would be worth talking to the workers too about what is happening, particularly because you are saying it’s reminding you of the situation you left. You may be able to transfer if it gets too bad and this woman won’t listen to reason. Also maybe put a do not disturb sign on your door when you need some peace.
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You just have to be blunt… you can’t help her anymore. You have your own situation to get out of and you need to focus on yourself. Do not feel awful as you’ve already helped her more then the average person… she should be forever grateful for you. People with your heart are hard to come by. With that being said, it’s easy to use you right up. You have no choice but to stand tall and tell her you can’t help her no more…
That is something I wouldn’t do It’s different if it is family You will need that money one day
Give her a set time(s) every week you can spend with her (11 am-12 am Monday, Wednesday and Friday, for example) when you can be doing something she won’t intrude on, like folding laundry or painting your nails, or exercising with your kids. Or 7:30-8 every week night for an activity like playing a game or watching TV. That way you can always say, “I’m busy now, see you (day) at (time)” and shut the door/exit. Repeat, “Remember? I can’t see/be with you until (day, time)” or, “Remember? We agreed you would only see me on (day/s time/s). See you then” as nauseam until she gets it. That way she has something to look forward to.
Also, not sure who’s in charge where you live, but can you ask this person to help keep her away/occupied? Can you introduce her to other people she could talk to or show her a parent forum online that would provide her with some interaction? Don’t lend her money because you’ll never get it back.
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Lol. I find the easiest way to get rid of people is to start asking them for the money they owe you. She sounds like the type who will suddenly disappear if you ask her when or how soon she can pay you back every time she tries to interact with you.
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Be honest with her… even mean if you have to… just get your point across
Until you put your foot down she’s not going to stop. Unfortunately people like this will use you until you have nothing left. I know it’s hard and awkward, but you just have to make boundaries. For example when she asks for money, say “ I lent you the only extra money I have right now I’m sorry”. If she sends the kids tell them the same and also tell her you don’t appreciate her sending her kids to guilt trip you. Also tell her that she can’t come wake you guys up just because she is up, that you’re busy and it messes your kid all up. When she asks to go somewhere with you just tell her you promised your child it would be just you and them and you’ll let her know next time you want company.
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No is a complete sentence. You don’t owe her an explanation. Giving her money left and right takes away from your family. I had to look at it from that angle and explain to my boyfriend when I laid the law down about handing it out to his family.
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Honesty… Brutal honesty! You have tried hinting… Its not working! You answered your own question when you said I have come to this place to get away for being controlled and being pushed into a corner by someone. I think it is life is putting you in that situation to get you comfortable with giving people boundaries and limits.
Say “No.” Block her. You are being used. How do you even know she really has kids? She may have a drug problem that you are enabling. And if you’re just too nice kindly direct her to social services or call cps for neglecting her children.
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Sounds like you just don’t want to hurt her feelings. You’ll probably have to.
If she can’t take care of her children or afford milk for her kids you may want to talk to CPS? I mean it seems like that’s not a very good situation for her kids
It sounds like there may be some mental illness in this situation. I agree with the others you will need to simply tell her and then stand firm. I like the idea of setting a specific time where she can join you for TV or a game, etc. I like the “do not disturb” sign idea too - seems kind of silly but it might just work. The kids might get on board for that one too and leave you alone when the sign is out.
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Put your foot down tell her no tell her you can’t be lending her money you have your own worries to worry bout
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Talk to the social worker at the center!
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Honestly (from someone who was the same as you), I would say be somewhat blunt with her and direct. Something along the lines of “although I can sympathize with your situation, I have things I’m dealing with and am not in a position to help you any further.”
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Listen you need to understand you dont have to explain shit to no one. "Im busy. And i need time to myself. "Thats it. Just do your thing and dont include her. People feel so fucken entitled to others time and lives these daysm
I would change my number and ignore her completely. 
she can figure it out.
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Being blunt & honest is the point you’re at now, until you stand up to her the behavior will continue.
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Just tell her you’re hoping she can pay you back, as you’ve also now run out and down to your last tenner.
Put sign on door if you can saying studying please don’t knock.
Once she thinks you’re skint yourself and you need that money back, you’ll not see much more of her.
Be polite and if possible ask her when someone else is around in case she gets funny with you, she could easily turn sounds the type to be honest.
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Dont lend her anything if she needs for kids buy it and get rest of money back
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Say no. It’s sounds like she is using you and manipulating you. It’s hard at first, but it gets easier. Stay strong and focus in you and your little one.
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Tell her no, sorry I’m broke, was hoping you’d pay me back soon. Or just say no, can’t do it anymore.
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Keep asking for ur money back she will leave u alone
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You need to stick to your guns and tell her no.
Let her know you would
Also like the money you let her borrow back, just say you ran into a financial situation and ever dollar helps. I doubt you will see her after that. Borrowers like her never are good at paying back 
Start asking for your money back every time she comes around. I bet she will stop coming so much also I agree with the other ladies tell her point blank u don’t like company all the time set up like a play date to hang out with her at specific times. We had a neighbor like this and I would put notes on my door with pls don’t disturb sign. Sounds like this person may have some mental health issues
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I know this feeling kind of. And it sucks because you wanna be what they want you to be, but you just can’t. They are probably actually triggering you by being so pushy and invasive. You are allowed to say no. Don’t forget that.
Keep asking her to borrow some $$
Just tell her straight to go away. Don’t lend her any more money. You are enabling her behaviour towards you. Go by the old saying that you have to be “Cruel” to be kind. She is a leach.