When do you talk to your kids about the birds and the bees?

Ok, I have a question…I am a single stay-at-home heart mom to my amazing 11-year-old heart hero son. When did you talk to your kids about the birds and the bees? He is home 247 with only me due to his health and being extremely high risk. He knows the proper names for body parts and hasn’t asked anything else. I know I will have to discuss it eventually because I’m the only parent and have no help. So please let me know what age your child was and maybe what you said to them.

17 Likes

As soon as possible honestly. Within limits of course! It’s never too early

You need to have the conversation now

1 Like

My daughter is 12, we started taking about it around 11ish

As soon as they ask questions. I was 6
I plan on telling mine once I he can understand. Its a biology lesson, nothing to hide :woman_shrugging:

My 11yr old son just watched the puberty video on Friday. Now is the time to start having age appropriate conversations.

Normalize it, don’t make it weird or uncomfortable.

4 Likes

My oldest is 12 and we talk when he has questions. I also have a heart hero!

I had the talk when I was 7 years old when I started asking questions. Mum bought me this book and she went through the book with me twice. I asked questions, she answered honestly and that’s that. It’s always been a very open and honest conversation with my parents since then. So I’m very grateful to have such amazing parents. :two_hearts:

1 Like

My son is 10. His friends told him girls get pregnant by the guy peeing in the girls butt…we had the talk right then

7 Likes

I dont remember having the talk. We live on a farm so I am sure at some point he asked. He is 16. I remind him about condoms and about child porn. Girls sending dirty pictures or him sending dirty pictures. It’s not just one talk and done. It’s a conversation that should happen offen.

7 Likes

From birth. My kids are 6, 4, and 2 and they understand the mechanics of it (though they are adamant babies are born from the belly button and refuse to believe otherwise)
I believe the more you wait to have “the talk” the more its a horrifing embarrassing moment.

3 Likes

Agreed from day one you should start but since he is 11 I would start immediately, of course age appropriate

1 Like

You could be like me and get the packet from the doctor’s office called “Puberty: Ready or Not Here It Comes!” without reading it first… :woman_facepalming: It mentioned everything from oral, anal, vaginal, stds, stis, pregnancy, birth control and body changes for both girls and boys. The questions to follow were easy enough to answer, but I was not prepared for that conversation.

He us reaching the age where his body is changing the time is now

A great book called Where Did I Come From? Explains it all. It’s cute and a little funny, but Explains it clearly on a child’s level.

1 Like

My daughter is 5 and I’ve slowly been talking her through everything over the last couple years. She knows eventually her body will change and she will get a period and sometimes it’s uncomfortable. She knows boys have a penis and girls a vagina. She knows where baby’s come from and that it takes a man and women to have a baby (I will obviously explain more to her on this later on at an appropriate time) she’s completely comfortable asking me questions and I always answer honestly.

My son is 11 and i just talked to him about puberty! :flushed: is it this early that “the talk” should happen lol ive talked to my girls but havent w the son. Single mom so im doing my best to raise my little man.

Im never admitting how babies are made. My kids will never look at me the same. I’m holding ground, "Whaaaat? I don’t know what kind of parent’s your friends are but I ate a package of baby seeds and hoped for the best…

9 Likes

Now is a good time. They start talking about boyfriend’s and girlfriend’s and even if he’s not out doing anything, he’s probably going to have friends that are. Now is definitely the time to start. It’s going to be important to remember internet/texting safety as it relates too. Sending dirty pictures, child porn, etc.

With my 5 year old twins, they know a bit much already, I’m not saying too much…they just know ‘A’ is 4 mins older, his brother did a somersault, and the Dr pulled his ankle to get him out. We have not discussed how they got there, or how they came out (they still think their penises are bigger than mine :rofl:)

4 Likes

My son first asked when he was about 4. This was because 3 teachers at his day care were all pregnant.

We started out by just answering the questions in order of him asking.

In the end he told me it was disgusting and he would never do anything like that ever.

I think I was about 8 when I got the official talk, but had an idea long before thanks to tv. My husband and I are taking a more open approach with our kids though and kinda just letting it be on everyday conversation and not making it weird or taboo, and then we’ll answer questions or give an official talk later on

1 Like

I never did with mine and they never asked me but they did see the programs they have in school about it

My now 9 year old asked me about all that last year…I about died BUT we’re also very open in my household as far as that stuff. Pretty much the only thing my kids can’t watch is anything considered soft porn AND higher and no songs like WAP. Lol

I started talking about little bits like personal hygiene etc at 9 and then at 10 started talking a little bit when and if he had questions etc, he’s been learning in school he’s now 11 and knows quite a bit about it.

You can get a book describing the things of life ask at library

Make it more than one conversation, over time, and feel free to repeat yourself or revisit topics. Ask him questions periodically to see if he really understood what you talked about. Start with body changes. Please impress on him the importance of good hygiene and deodorant use, as most boys get pretty stinky before they get the hang of it. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: Let him know that everyone develops in their own time, but he should be starting soon and be done growing by the end of high school.

Topics to introduce over the next few years: Puberty changes he can expect. What happens to girls during puberty. How babies are made & how they are born. Birth control. Consent. Respect. What to do when someone is drunk. Porn (seems like it’s almost unavoidable these days!) Kissing, petting and oral as well as intercourse. LGBTQI+. How much work it is to be a parent of a baby. How much it costs to have children.

Of course add in your views on it all and any of your religious perspectives if any. Bring stuff up on a walk so you don’t have to look each other in the eye if it makes either of you uncomfortable. Ask questions and make points as you’re watching TV or movies. See if you can have other friends and family he can talk to if he doesn’t want to talk to you. Oh, and I recommend the Gardisil HPV vaccine. He’s old enough to get it now, I believe.

Oh “Guy Stuff—The Body Book for Boys” is the American Girl boys equivalent to “The Care and Keeping of You” for girls. Could be worth it to have him read both and then discuss. These come very highly recommended.

I’d be surprised if he doesn’t already know. Mine asked how the man’s DNA got into the egg… they’d worked out that the egg grew into a baby but not the male role!

We talk constantly. There will be no big reveal for my kids. My 12 year old knows all the usual stuff at this point. We haven’t talked fetishes or kinky, but he gets the picture. I haven’t talked to the 8 year old about specifics, like STD’s and condom use, but she does know how babies are made and about birth control to avoid pregnancy. The 5 year old know “mommy bleeds sometimes” which is more than most 5 year old boys know about menstruation. He knows his body parts. He has a childish but healthy understanding of body consent. (Learned from cuddling, tickling, kisses from Aunts and Uncles etc) He knows babies grow in a mom, put there by a dad. We haven’t gotten into specifics of How dad put him in my belly lol…

We use any new experience as a talking point. See something on TV, talk about it. See two girls kissing at the beach, talk about it. See a breastfeeding Mama, talk about it. See him scratch his balls, ask him if he has hair yet. Talk about it. A quick 2 minute talk, answer any questions honestly, and move on. Keep the conversation open and easy.

I would just talk to him. I’m only saying this cause kids his age are at that curious stage. Stop tiptoeing around the subject and tell him.

11 is late. I would get on that. I had my second when my first was 9 so it presented a perfect opportunity. I would find a video you like on YouTube. There are many that come recommended by experts. You can look up “how to teach your kids about sex” or whatever. There are a million articles and videos. I sat down with my daughter and watched the same video that I watched at 8, 30+ years ago. Sex doesn’t change luckily… although it was perhaps not so pc :thinking:… and borderline racist in its stereotypical depictions of the cartoon characters from other countries :grimacing:, but it was just to give her the details :sweat_smile:. We already talk about body parts, puberty, hormones, and consent as it comes up. Sex doesn’t come up though, so the video was nice to have. I’m sure there are better ones out there. Go take a look and watch one or 2 of them together and tell him he can ask anything he wants, or he can ask it over text if that’s less awkward. Whatever. I wouldn’t wait though.

My parents were very funny about the talk of sex when I was growing up so I didn’t want to do that wirh my boys because of how it made me feel. We are very open . my oldest started having wet dreams around 11 so yeah we spoke about it nothing to be weird about.

For us it’s a talk we have all the time. We talk about consent, when she has questions I answer them in an age appropriate way. Which we will keep doing.

Just give honest answers to the questions he asks.

There’s a doctor that said “if you dont tell your kid by 3rd grade, some other kid will”. My bonus daughter has known the basics of reproduction for a year now. She is almost 6. We have livestock, and its just a normal part of our lives. The conversation was easy to carry over from animals to people. They have some great YouTube videos that might be a start for you. Maybe say “there is some information I would like to share with you. Please let me know if there is questions I can answer for you” and allow him to watch it (after you have selected a video that you feel is right).

I had “the talk” with all of my kids at the age of 10. Well…my youngest is only 8 so i haven’t had the talk with him yet… but tbh i think he already knows more than id like him to.

1 Like

I bought a book ‘how babies are made’ We sat down and read it together stopping when he asked a question. He was 10. If he doesn’t attend school he has only you to explain. I am single too.

I started talking to them little bits at a time from about 6 years old. 11 should know everything now adays

1 Like

My older ones found out from school and when they were younger and asked questions i just said i don’t no ask your your dad :rofl::rofl:

1 Like

My oldest was 5 when she started asking questions because she heard older kids at the playground talking about it. From then on it has always been an open discussion in my home and my two youngest have grown up listening so I only have to answer random questions now.

What’s a heart mom and heart son?

1 Like

Talked to my daughter when she asked about it at 9 years old.