When does your life go back to normal after having a baby?

When do you feel like your life started to go back to somewhat normal after baby! As in being able to take a shower,relaxing etc. I know my life will forever be changed but I am looking for that tiny bit of normalcy. Baby is 5 weeks old and my partner and I do nothing but fight. I feel at times I hate him because I am the one working full time on no sleep.


Nothing ever goes back to normal. You create a new one.

Unfortunately the newborn stage is the most sleep they do lol I’m at the 6 month mark and struggling with his sleep.

While they’re newborns, that’ll be the most they ever sleep so sleep when baby sleeps, sleep with help with everything. My baby is 13 months old, I got off the boob at the 12 months and I’m finally starting to feel normal and sleep throughout the night without her waking up. P

Create your new normal with your baby ! Babies thrive off routine , your baby is young yet but do the routine for yourself I found it helped me so much.
Sounds like it would be easier without your partner as well , partners help and support eachother

Unfortunately never, you create a new you and figure things out on the go. Privacy is out the door, alone time doesn’t exist…you’ll be taking a hot shower and next you know your 3 year old pops her head around the curtain just to see what you’re doing. You will feel resentment towards your so, but in time you will learn to accept things. A very important thing to remember is its absolutely okay to ask for help and ask for a break.


HONEY. Ugh. Mine is 16 months and it feels like those first few weeks were Ayesterday. My husband and I had to establish a rule that anything said during a middle of the night wakeup, wasn’t to be taken personally lol. That sleep deprivation hits hard, and we were both exhausted and on edge so it didn’t take much.
It still hasn’t fully gotten back to “normal”. But things started getting better around 8 weeks – partly because the baby was settling in, but also because we’d started finding our rhythm and new routine a little. By 4-5 months we were able to make her sleep cycles (and communication) work for us; when she was down, one of us would tell the other they were in baby duty while we showered, caught up on an urgent chore, etc. Now we’re both a LOT more comfortable expressing our needs and taking over for each other when we need to.
It just takes time and patience while you both learn your new…everything. <3

Nothing will ever be the way it was again, however you will fall into a new routine that works for you. Your hormones can take quite a while to go back to normal and a lot of men don’t understand that. Also it’s normal to feel resentment towards your other half after a baby. Just give yourselves time to adjust. Nice showers and relaxing are overrated. You got this!

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My daughter is 4 now
And if she wakes up at night she just comes in my bed and sleeps with me without waking me up.

Sometimes she wakes up in the mornings and asks if she can go play in the kitchen. And I just stay in bed.
She wakes me when she wants breakfast.

I can tell her I’m going for a shower and to come get me if she needs me

It’s always gonna be a full time job for us moms but hopefully he will eventually put in some work tell him how you feel and what your needs are. And as for privacy girl my kids are teens and for some reason still gather around the bathroom door when I’m in there :roll_eyes::rofl:.

Bless your heart !!! The answer to your question is NEVER

Never. You make a new normal.

Why is your partner not helping?
Working outside the home doesn’t mean you don’t have to be a parent when you get home


There is only one correct answer: NEVER , but you can set routine and accept that you will not ever relax again till they move out for collage!!! Also , newborn is the easy stage :slight_smile:


You create a new normal. A new routine. Tell him when/where he needs to pick up the slack so you can get a break. He should be supporting you. It takes time, but remember you guys are a team. Good luck🤍


You’ll find a new normal, those first 12 weeks in my opinion were the most difficult. Sure the snuggles are amazing but you’re still healing and adjusting and every moment revolves around your new miracle.
I really think the year mark was I felt like we had a good routine again. Hang in there mama :heartbeat:


Never. You don’t go back to normal, you learn a new normal. 5 weeks is really early. I’d say my daughter was about 8 months old before I was able to do things like sit on the couch and chill for a little bit in the evenings, etc. For showers and stuff, we just had to take turns. It was very frustrating and took a lot of time to get used to. It was over a year, maybe close to 2 before we were very comfortable in our new normal. I don’t know your situation but you and your partner need an extremely strong foundation to make it through this. If you fought a lot and stuff like that before, it will definitely multiply with lack of sleep. The lack of sleep was the worst and I am an independent contractor and HAD to go back to work like 2 weeks later at least half days or we would lose our contracts. Hang in there. At 4 months my daughter started sleeping for longer stretches at night. If you need some time and you feel like you’re gonna break, call on family, a close friend, anyone you trust to relieve you for a bit if your partner is burnt out as well. You will never regret this, but it is super hard. Hugs :heavy_heart_exclamation:

I’m at 4 months n it still isn’t I’d say normal. We’re in more of a routine now as I feel as a newborn trying to have a routine is pointless it’ll make you more crazy. But now we have a bedtime and I know how many naps he needs/how much day sleep he needs and when he needs to be up by before bed. It definitely makes things a little easier. So I guess a little normal as you can do more. my LO is really attached to me so even showering is def a task n most of the time I need him w daddy so I can. It’s hard but I’d say by week 7 you’re going to start feeling better yourself. You’ll be used to the lack of sleep I guess and not feel so tired as you’re learning your baby more. Don’t focus on the normal but just starting to do little things one by one like showering. If your babe let’s you put them down and they’ll hang out alone do so in a seat you can bring in the bathroom. Even their baby tub. That’s what I have to do sometimes when my son lets me.

Well life gets back to normal when you want it to. As far as your child’s other parent not helping you should nip that quickly especially if you are the only one working and caring for your child. And if both work both of you should partake in caring for your child. The longer you let or when you start showing your partner not knowing how much help or think it’s ok not to help you its when he or she will not think of their partner. Good luck.

Usually once a routine is established, longer naps and sleeping threw the night is when I felt like things were a little bit normal, maybe 10-12 months?

While hubs gives baby a bath, you take a shower. Or shower or bathe with the baby between diapers. Nap when the baby naps. Hubs gets duty while he’s not working.

Sorry, especially if you’re breastfeeding you may only get a few hours of sleep at a time, but grab what you can when you can. Lower your housekeeping standards—by a lot.

Have him do the laundry. It’s not that hard. Have him pick up dinner if he’s not willing to cook. He gets “bonding time” with baby so you can recover somewhat.

Say goodbye to your firm boobs and flat stomach though. That’s only coming back with surgery.

Are household/baby chores all you argue about? Go on zoom with a marriage counselor. Hubs has to do more than bring home a paycheck. Explain that if you are too exhausted or lose your mind being “on” 24/7 that he will have the kid 24/7 by himself. Let the counselor handle division of labor.

Never, it is a different phase, era, you just learn to adjust to a new way of life.


For me, the No sleep was the hardest. When both of my children started sleeping through the night, life became easier.

In about 10 years if you are lucky

I was fortunate with my two kids when they slept - the first 6 months are the hardest their was things I did to keep them fuller and sleep longer at night they only cry when they need food, diaper change or comfort! Your boyfriend needs to step it up or kick him out! I have two and it’s always something - stay strong their smiles and love makes it all worth while xoxo

You will create a new normal,the first few months are HARD. Especially the lack of sleep…don’t let ANYONE say “newborn stage is the easiest.” Because it definitely is NOT. Especially if this is your first baby…don’t be afraid to ask for help from a trusted neighbor,friend or family member. Even for an hour or 2 to clean,shower,nap,or eat.You need proper rest and recoup time to be the best version of yourself for your own well being and for baby.:heart: and as far as the dad not helping, u may want to communicate with him…he may have some.anxieties of his own…thats how my hubby was with our now 3 month old. It will get better momma, it’s hard but you will get through it​:heart:

If you both work, take turns getting up it shouldn’t be all on you that’s not safe going on no sleep night after night. You’ll eventually get into a routine and a schedule that works, some babies start sleeping good at 3 months and some it takes years for them to start sleeping through the night.

What’s normal? :joy:

My baby is 6. Nothing is as it was!

Well that’s not true…about a year ago I finally stopped checking on him at night to ensure he was still breathing.

It’s sounds like there is an issue with the partner if you are fighting all the time. Does he help.


Um never, being a mother is a never ending thankless job. Keep your chin up, don’t be afraid to talk to your doctor is you feel depressed its normal sometimes after giving birth.

Never it gets worse as they get older because you worry more about them especially when they leave the home. You worry if they ate, if they have clean laundry, if they’re passing in school, if they got home that night after a party’s it just gets worse.

Life will NEVER be “normal” again. Once you have kids you never get to do what you want whenever you want.

My baby is 7 weeks and I’m still not back to normal. But it’s my 3rd so I know for myself that I go back to somewhat normal around 3 months or so

Mine are now 7 and 11 and I’m still wondering this. I’m guessing when they are grown and on their own.

My oldest is 12. My youngest is almost 8… Ill let ya know? :rofl:

On a serious note, it won’t ever go back to your old normal. But you can find a new normal. If you’re talking about some you time, it will get easier to get into a routine to be able to get some self care time. Just try to make time for you. For example, if have to choose between a 15 minute relaxing shower or cleaning the living room, take a shower. The living room will still be there after.

you need to make time for yourself and your partner, it won’t ever go back to “normal”

Never…you decided that when you chose to have a child

When they are 4 years old and mostly independent

Your old life is gone but you have beautiful new one to start

Focus on creating a new normal, new routine,

You’re a mother now things will never be the same

Probably when they’re adults and not living in the house anymore :laughing:

Never… they’ll be a “new you” … the “old you” has moved up

Mine is 6 1/2. This is my normal now. It will never go back

Never it’s a new you now and being a mom is the best !

It will be back to normal as soon as you accept and readjust to your NEW Normal