When is it okay to introduce my son to my boyfriend?

Is it okay to introduce my son to my boyfriend after seven months of being split from my ex? My ex-husband and I split in June 2020 and are in the middle of a divorce but haven’t posted anything about others on Facebook or introduced our son to anyone yet. My ex has been with someone since just a few weeks after we split, if not beforehand, but we co-parent well and are being civil when it comes to our son, but I wasn’t sure if its time to introduce my boyfriend to our son. I’ve known him for three years, but we have only been together since around October and he’s a great man.


I would say its ok to introduce him as a friend… wouldn’t necessarily say this in mommy’s new boyfriend or anything


My rule of thumb was always 6 months of exclusive dating. But really it’s up to you and what you are comfortable with.


But depends on age and maturity as well


This is a decision only you can make. But I would not introduce anyone unless you can see yourself marrying them.


Mine ive always said 6months aslong talked about where its going. If not sure they won’t meet my kids.

You are the parent if you feel good about this guy then he will be good for your son aswel

When does it feel right? Has it been discussed with your ex or anything in terms of custody agreement.
Current boyfriend is not the first person I’ve dated since my ex and I split up. Didn’t introduce any of the others to the kiddo. Introduced this one super early. It just felt right. Didn’t introduce him as my boyfriend right away though. We’re at a year and a half and I’m 32 weeks pregnant currently. Would I suggest that early, in general no.

1 Like

Only you can answer this for yourself but if it were me I’d wait until your divorce and wait until you know for sure this guy is really gonna stick around because children get hurt when things don’t work out and I wouldn’t want my child meeting different men that may be there one day than next is gone just saying

1 Like

Everybody is gonna have so many different opinions, some will say right away, some will say wait at least a year, I say 3-6 months of steady dating, no toxic mess or red flags … does he ask how your kiddo is occasionally or is it all about the two of you? Does he have kids or does he have experience with kiddos? Think about all those things when you decide! You know what’s best for your baby and your boyfriend meeting him might be what’s best for you!


I wouldn’t. That’s not long enough. I would wait until it’s been at least a year, and the relationship is really serious. You can’t be too careful these days. Every new boyfriend shouldn’t be around your kids.


This is coming from a child of separation:

No. Your son has enough to process without trying to handle a new relationship on top of everything. Wait until the divorce is finalized and have a discussion with your child, together as parents, so he knows you’re a team. He may also need a therapist to help him with any feelings during the divorce and to process their emotions. Kids know a lot more than you’d think. After some time has passed and things are serious with this guy (IE: talks of marriage) — then introduce him. Your son also doesn’t need to meet every boyfriend you have. Kids do make lasting connections with people and he doesn’t need someone leaving if things don’t work out. Especially after dealing with a divorce and having another new person thrown into their life.


That’s your preference

1 Like

We were one year separated before we started seeing each other and waited a year, I know that is probably a bit extreme but we wanted to be sure and we kinda enjoyed the time on our own together as well :face_with_hand_over_mouth: 2 years later we are all (7) moved in together and just got engaged . If you feel happy and secure then its really up to you at the end of the day!

i didnt introduce my older daughter to my current till i felt ready and unless got serious. even though she was a teenager at the time,it probaly wasnt till we were together about 6 mths. and if your kids are younger id probaly wait a while.

Only you can decide whether it feels right or not

Well while only dating a month seems fast you said you’ve known him about 3 years. Do you know his friends and family. Do you like the way he treats you and other people in your gut does it feel right? If all of these things are right then I say introduce him as a friend for now and give them time to get used to each other

1 Like

I would wait 6 months and what are his plans in your life with your son?

Go with your gut. If you think he’s a positive influence and role model I’d say it’s okay. My bf and I have been together two years now. He and his kids moved in with me within a month of knowing each other. We all couldn’t be happier!! I’m not saying that he needs to move in. But we just bonded instantly…

There is no right or wrong answer.

All depends how old your son is to! There will be to views. You could meet let your son meet him asap as he may not like the person your going to be with which would cause heart break to you and the person if they dont like each other or you could wait and see how yous go in the relationship. It’s really your choice about it . I hope you and your family have a good life together good luck!z

I don’t think you can necessarily put a time limit on it. In my opinion it all depends on where HE is at with y’all’s separation. You guys may be doing great with the split and have moved on but that doesn’t mean he has. I would check in with him, see where he’s at with all of it and how he is healing. He may not have accepted the reality of the split let alone be able to tolerate seeing y’all with different partners. Also when talking with him I wouldn’t just listen to his words but also his body language. These things can have a profound effect on children despite how well you guys are doing with it. He doesn’t have the same coping mechanisms. Best of luck! :heart::heart::heart:

I’m kind of envious of all the people saying 6 months or so. They must have family and friends who can watch their kid/s while they go out on dates regularly.
I say it should be fine as long as you introduce him as a friend first, see how he handles that.


Don’t worry I know someone who announced her divorce by introducing her new bf to the family. It’s just up to you don’t let anyone judge no one is perfect

Its your call your the only one who knows him. Youll know the appropriate time if your asking you must fell some reservations look into that.

My daughter met my boyfriend when we had been dating almost 7 months.

When ever you are comfortable I know some people say 6 months but I was engaged before 6 months with my hubby and married at a year. I think it was like 3 when he met the boys

When ever you feel is good but make sure everyone involved is okay with it

It honestly depends on you and how you feel. If you feel this is long term and you’ve known him awhile and think he’s a good man… introduce them. When I met my husband I just knew. We officially dated for roughly two months before he met my kids. We had been talking and unofficially dating for about 9 months prior to us officially getting together. It took me awhile before I felt ready to start really dating again. So we took things slow at first. We also got married only a few months after we officially started dating though too. It shocked a lot of people lol but I just knew. We have been married for about 5 years now and have 3 more kids together and I’m pregnant again currently. If you know, you know.

My step mum would come over while it was my dads weekend to have me, he introduced her as a friend of his to see if I would like her, after a few months of her coming over during the day and leaving after dinner he took me out for dinner, sat me down and asked me what I thought of her and if I would be happy with her being his girlfriend and that she made him very happy. But like others have said, it all depends on your circumstances and what you think your son could handle

1 Like

You as that child’s mother can be the only one to really answer this question. Only you know all the variables in your life. How does your son handle his dads new girlfriend is one thing not mentioned. Amongst others. If you and your ex is getting along like you say, then why can’t yall speak with you child together about this situation now is another thing. On top of that only you know your child and what he has been through and how much he understands. You just need to take sometime and figure out what is right for yalls situation.

I introduced my boyfriend to my son very early into things. My son is one so realistically if things don’t work out he won’t know. But my son calls him brobro and loves him to pieces :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

You need to do what YOU feel is right. No one else. As a courtesy, speak to his father and let him know what you’re planning. I didn’t see where you listed your sons age, but depending on his age, ask him how he feels about meeting “mommy’s new friend”. Ask your boyfriend if he is ready to meet your son. If everyone agrees and is ready, introduce them at a public location or a gathering. Not sure where you’re located, what the weather is there or what the COVID restrictions are. With my husband (who I was introduced to through mutual friends that have children that are friends with my children) I made a big dinner and invited the mutual friends, their kids and my now husband. It provided an environment that allowed my kids to interact with their friends, my friends and my “new” friend and it allowed my husband to do the same.

My husband and I have both agreed that 1 year is the goal should we ever separate. One year is a good amount of time to get serious with someone and neither of us want to be the kind of people who introduce one partner after another to our children. So, if you make it a year, there’s potential for long term. We have discussed this in detail. I’m not so sure he’d actually go through with it, but I would.

Way past long enough. Children can understand mom has friends too you are human and have needs don’t put your life on hold. Keeping him separate from your child is living two lives I wouldn’t even date someone like that honestly.

My partners meet my children within the first few weeks. Usually the first or second time we hang out. Because their fathers are not around to help out, so if I don’t have a life with them, I don’t have one at all.

Make sure you are going to keep the boyfriend, girls do wrong introducing boyfriend after boyfriend, n making the lid call them daddy. I know some that had like 6 daddies. N proud of their shit

To me depends on how old child is…if you say boyfriend and you two don’t make it as a couple then another person will leave this child’s life…

Whenever you feel comfortable. People will give all kinds of strict time frames like “not before 6 months” or “wait at least a year”, but the truth is it’s up to you and whatever makes you feel comfortable. I met my ex step daughter the third time my ex husband and I saw each other (about 2 weeks into things) and we bonded really well.

It takes time to really know someone, and it never hurts to wait until you’ve been through some tough shit with them and seen them at their worst. When it comes to kids, because if the relationship fails they might get hurt as well, it’s always best to play it safe and if your partner loves you and your kids they will have patience. There is no perfect time to introduce them but those are some things you could consider. Ask God about it and trust your gut.

I wouldn’t until the year mark.

Do what feels right for you, Momma :heart: I think the fact that you are so considerate is wonderful! Go at your own pace!


I agree to the above comment Do what feels right to you, I dont think there is any right or wrong answer to this truly. It’s what feels best for you and your family. You could introduce as a friend, the first time. See how they mesh. If your worried. :grin::grin: I hope it all works out.

To be honest i would ask your ex how he feels about the situation. As he is the father. If you co parent good there is no reason not to talk it out with him.

1 Like

This is something you should talk to your ex, child’s father, about. See how he feels about it, if he would like to meet your new boyfriend before your child, ect.

Seven months is a lot longer than a lot of parents wait! That is awesome and (imo) very good parenting.

1 Like

It’s your life . No one has a say but you… when you feel comfortable with it, then you should.

I would suggest bringing it up to your lawyer… It is something that has had impact on custody orders… Other than that is is completely up to what feels right for you💞


Maybe when you know for certain that the man you are currently dating will be in your life forever.

1 Like

personally for myself I waited until I knew it was serious and I could trust him (about a yr of being together) because I didn’t want to have temporary people in my child’s life … but it’s really whatever works with your situation and your comfort level


Go with how you feel …Every one does it at different times.
Sometimes my kids met my new bf right away but only introducing as a new friend

Personally I’d feel like that’s pretty early but it depends on your kid their age and their understanding of what the separation means. If you feel like he will be around a while then I think it should be ok. I’d also suggest therapy for your kid just so he has somewhere to vent if there is some feelinfa about it.

I feel you need to go at your own pace. But also, how do you handle your other friends around your son?

I would gradually, like first make it a outing even like to a movie. Or just to eat.
I mean it has been 7 months so you know he is probably gonna stick around? But sometimes kids decide differently. But also bring it up to your ex and if all else fails also try and include the ex to meet said BF as well so he knows who he is.

How long have you been dating? My ex and I co parented phenomenal until he introduced our kids to one of the women I caught him sexting the day she moved in… I never introduced my children to anyone until it was serious. Your current relationship has NOTHING to do with your ex!

I think you only know when time is right are you on terms with the dad has dad met boyfriend? Does bf know what is expected such is this is my son he’s around me respect him as my son I’m not asking you to be daddy but I’m asking you to be a good influence?

1 Like

It’s really how you feel. If it’s legit and you feel that in your soul then do you. I would discuss it first with your ex I did before.

Just introduce him as your friend for awhile until you know it will become more serious. I made the mistake of introducing my bf to my daughter when she was 8 months and she is 3 months away from being 3 and calls him dad. We may or may not be on the verge of a break up and I’m concerned for how it’ll be for her since he’s the only father figure she’s known. He told me he would always be there for her because he loves her but the messages I saw that he sent his friends said otherwise. So yeah, it’s a tricky situation when you’re in a relationship with kids that aren’t biologically theirs.

1 Like

If it were me I would wait until I had zero doubts but that is me not you.

1 Like

You dont have to ask your exs permission to date! I would wait though until you decide you want someone permanent in your life


Do you feel like what you have with the BF will stand the test of time? If you’re not sure if it will, it’s not fair to allow your son to become attached to him and then break up. Since you’re newly free, do you think you’ll want to date other people instead of committing quickly to one person?

1 Like

If ur not comfortable bringing him around ur son then dont. Most people know when the time is right. I’d wait a few more months 2 see if it’s going anywhere. The more people u both bring around ur son isnt healthy 4 him especially if they dont last very long. It creates an unhealthy attachment. I think of it this way if u will let the guy meet ur parents and ex then it’s time 4 them 2 meet if not then wait. Id also go somewhere like the park or an arcade or something 2 ease them around each other. I hope that helps. Goodluck.

I agree with bringing it up with your lawyer and getting their advice. I went through this with a friend and if one party asks the other to be in an “established relationship” before introducing the child, advice for that is 6months.
I was with my partner for a good few months or so before he met my daughter as I wanted to be sure it was going in the right direction. Then it was only as a friend nature for a while to make sure they got on and started to establish their own thoughts/relationship without it being mummy’s child and mummy’s boyfriend.
We are 6 years in now and their relationship is amazing x

1 Like

Everyone is different so there’s not an easy right answer. We agreed to get approval from each other first before introducing anyone to the kids, but I know not everyone gets along as well as we do. XD

1 Like

I personally wouldn’t until you know where the relationship is heading. 3 months isn’t a lot of time.

1 Like

I would say this all depends on how you and your ex feel about the situation. Talk to him about it and let him know your thinking of introducing them soon. It doesn’t have to be anything formal, you can make it fun so it feels more like a “friend” joining in on a fun day… zoo, park, icecream ect. Keep the first visit short and get the feel for it. But I would definitely recommend talking to your ex first, if you are co-parenting well and civil then it shouldn’t be an issue.


If you are planning to have a future with this man then yes. Depending on the age, you might want to meet at a place where you can leave if the child feels uncomfortable. If your not sure that you want to take your relationship to the next level I would wait. Kids shouldn’t have strangers(to them) in and out of their lives. They can become confused and it is less likely they would be abused by the boyfriend. You don’t really know someone till you live with them and sometimes even living with them can fool you. Just saying make sure you know what you want and then go from there. Kids don’t have a say who lives with them and you make the decision for both of you. Your on the right path because you care enough to ask for advice.


Talk to the father of your son first before introducing your current boyfriend. If coparenting is going well you dont want to over step, he might want to introduce his partner and I waiting for you to talk about it first

Your child is going to go to school and meet new friends and lose old friends as they change classes or families move in and out of the area. I’m sure you have friends that have come and gone through the course of your lifetime. Maybe even Mommy friends that just didn’t work out after a few playdates. Do you hide all your friends from your child? It’s not like the guy is moving into your house w/ you and your son. You don’t have to make anything more than a friendship physically apparent or make some huge deal about the introduction to your son. I don’t get the trepidation of introducing a new friend to your children. Go do something fun together. You might find out he’s really not good w/ kids, or you may find he’s a better fit for your family than you thought, but at this point you’ve already wasted months in a holding pattern of unknowns over what?


Personally I wouldn’t be introducing my child to someone I’ve only known for such short amount of time I don’t trust just anyone around my babies.


I would say, wait until after the divorce of final. Depending on how old your son is, there could be some resentment towards the new boyfriend if he is of an age that he thinks the new boyfriend might have broke up his family.

There’s no rules with this…
No right or wrong way…
Go with what feels right to you.


It’s called a rebound, don’t introduce your children to someone that is only temporary. I can almost guarantee it’s just a rebound!


There’s no right or wrong answer, necessarily. It’s whatever YOU’RE comfortable with. Based on your history, on the person. Only you can really tell.
Some people would say they’re comfortable after 2 months, some wouldn’t be comfortable until a year of dating. It’s up to you and you only.

I started dating my current fiance when I was still pregnant. He’s stepped up since day 1. It was my decision and mine alone, I personally didn’t wait. It’s been 7 years and we had a baby a year ago. So now we have 2 kids, co parenting with my first, and we’re getting married.


My boyfriend met my daughter before we were officially together. I was a single mom and she was with me 24/7.


I would only introduce if you plan on staying with him. I wouldn’t put a different man in your son’s life every few months.


How would one ever know if he is going to be around or not or if its going to work or not if he isn’t in the childs life? People come and go. You just deal with it accordingly when it doesnt work out, as a mom you’ll know what to do and say when it should happen. Dont let your thoughts on what could go wrong or will it be wrong destroy something that could’ve been amazing. In anycase the daddy is already with someone, why shouldn’t you be?? You do what makes you happy. A happy mom has a happy child!!


why not? i mean, you don’t have to introduce him as your boyfriend just yet. just make it casual, bring him along to something you’re doing with your son and tell him he’s your friend. don’t make a grand gesture of “i want you to meet someone”. just work him into your son’s life a little and let things progress naturally.


Your child doesn’t need to meet everyone your privates do


So yes been your boyfriend for 3 months then me I wouldn’t. There’s a lot of difference being a friend and really knowing a person when dating. You really don’t know him 100% ye

To me that’s a loaded question, to many things play into it. Age of child, matured, is it going to cause problems. Just remember monkey see monkey do .

If it feels right, do it.

Introduce as a close friend, no sleep overs just yet

Me personally I honestly would not know how early or late to introduce a bf to my son. I never dated anyone after me and my ex split 12 yrs ago for good. I seen who my ex has brought around our son. His dad has dated atleast 5 women in the past 12 yrs. None of them worked out at all, and have been around my son and he knew that his dad was dating them. The last one he dated, they were engaged and he moved in with her and her son in a different state. My son stayed here and was going to move up there before school started. It took 3 weeks after my ex moved in with her that he came back this way with his tail between his legs. They broke up after 3 weeks because her son didnt like my ex so she broke up with him. So after seeing the heartache out son went through with his dad and the many girlfriends, I choose not to really date someone until I knew I found someone worthy. I will go out on dates when my son is with his dad, but wont include my son until I know 100% that it’s for real between us.

If youre ready let him meet him.

Give up girl whatever you do from now on will be wrong.

I feel like you shouldn’t until you guys have been exclusively seeing eachother for at least a year and are sure that it’s going somewhere serious.


I split from my ex in January 2019. I met my husband in March 2019. We had our kids meet the same month and we’re married by august 2019. In July 2020 we welcomed our last child (first one together) completing our family at 5 kids. His ex is not in the picture at all due to trying to assault me in April 2019 then getting a felony charge involving kids last week. My ex is only semi in the pictures. He calls my older boys but doesn’t really visit. My boys called Chris dad and my girls call me mom. The termination and adoption case is almost done then they will be mine legally


After 3 months? Does no one follow Nancy Grace ???


I would!! If he’s a great guy why not!