Mamas, I am at a loss. My son is two years old; whenever he gets mad or upset, he will start banging his head on the wall. He will not stop this tantrum until he is ready to stop. It isn’t a super hard banging, but I don’t want him to bang his head into something that could really hurt him some time. I end up getting on the floor with him and protecting his head the best I can. What are some things I can do to get him to stop doing this? I am a first time mom, is this something I should just bring up to his doctor?
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Definitely bring up to the dr at your next visit or even scheduled a visit.
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Take him to the doctor. It’s not normal, but they have to figure out why it’s normal for him.
I have two so needs kids . Talk to your Dr and ask about a behavioral eval
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My son did this. It was a phase, we talked to his Dr. And he said it was also a phase. Just ask your Dr about it.
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He will grow out of it. My daughter did the same and eventually grew out of it. She did walk around with a bruise on her forehead for quite some time. Dr said it was normal since she didn’t yet have the vocabulary to express what she was feeling.
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Yes tell the dr. At first when my daughter started in the tantrums at almost two she would do that but wanting attention I started going to her level no it doesn’t help I walked away and she would stop bc I wasn’t giving her the attention she was trying to get. She now 2 1/2 and not throwing as many but have not banged head ever since
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I would definitely talk with his dr…but I had this issue with my son and his dr. Said it was a common phase, especially with boys and that they usually grow out of it by aroubd 5-6 yrs old. My son grew out of it after about 6 months.
My little brother and cousin used to do this except they would bang their head on the hard wood floor when they were kids. I don’t know what the doctors would say now, but I do know back then (which was about 16 years ago) they told my mom and my aunt that if they would ignore them during the tantrum that they would figure out they wasn’t getting attention from negative behavior.
But I’m not sure what they would say now days, I would just ask the doctor about it and see what they say 
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My children’s pediatrician said they do it for attention sometimes, or to get a reaction out of you. If you ignore it, they will quit when they realize it isn’t working.
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My son did this and you gotta ignore it. Ask you doctor but usually they grow out of it. If you give him any sort of attention during it he will continue. Walk away and eventually will realize your not giving into that behavior. My kid would have a big ol lump on his forehead on a regular basis he would hit it on anything and everything. 
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Find him a little throw pillow with a character he likes on it and put that between the wall and his head and tell him it’s ok to be upset but it’s not ok to hurt yourself or others and that if he feels he needs to hit his head on something he can hit it on the pillow. I know it doesn’t answer why, but it gives him a safer option to deal with his frustration. It’s mor than likely because he doesn’t know how to use his words to express his feelings.
My nephew did this too. Except he’d hit his head on tile flooring. It was a phase. He’s a healthy, normal 14 year old now. Like most bad toddler behavior, maybe try walking away and not giving him attention during the tantrum.
Redirect him to a cushion on the floor, tell him you see he is angry but he will hurt himself and if he must do it to do it safely as possible, if you could get a punch bag or something similiar try redirect to that instead of his head off a wall… he is prob frustrated that he cant communicate his feelings yet so def do some verbal work with him, lots of prompts, praise and positive reinforcement. If your really concerned go to the doctor for advice.
Bring it up to the doc. My daughter (8 now) started this at 2. She has since been diagnosed with ADHA and ODD. Of course this is not always the case. When she would do that I would pick her up to so she wasnt able to bang her hand. Also bought a big stuffed animal and acted as if I was mad and hit that. Then she started to do the same
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Son did this too… he was ultimately diagnosed with many issues. Go to doctor
I used to do that as a child and at 4 years old they found out I had severe environmental allergies that were causing pain in my sinuses which caused the head banging. I started receiving allergy shots and things got better but I was on them for a long time.
My son does this as well. He’s almost three now and the better he talks the less he doesn’t. For a lot of kids it’s just a frustration thing. For example if he hurts himself on something he will headbutt it, usually hurting himself more, trying to get back at it.
Please be careful and don’t listen if they say it’s just a phase my son has done this and he was diagnosed with ADHD and autism does he show any other systems of either one it took a really long time for them to diagnose him and he won’t hit on everything cement and and anything he could find my not trying to scare you I was told it was a phase to and he will out grow 12 years later he still does it
Get a bicycle helmet…put it on him…and let him bang
It seems to be getting the desired result, which is to get your attention. You can mention it to the doctor.
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Ignore him. Esp if it’s not hard. Your reaction is what he’s looking for
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So my mom did something similar. When she would get mad she would bang her head on the floor. The doctor told my grandma to put a helmet on her & ignore the behavior. After about 3 days with the helmet my mom stopped doing it. I’d definitely talk to your doctor about it because I’m not sure 1970s advice is still the way to go but it might help.
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My husband did this when he was little… he broke his mother’s nose as well. He has 0 issues. Just was mad
Just a question, how good is his speech? Is he able to communicate to you he is upset or why he is upset yet? If not, that could be part of it
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Yes, both my girls did this!
I would tell them to stop hurting my baby.
If they did it again they were put directly into their crib. I walked away and let them think, it’s hard to put a time on that… I would then ask are you done?
That comes in handy for the next one, I tell them fits go to bed are you ready and they straiten up real quick 
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Wrap him up, tightly, in a blanket. Make sure his arms and legs can’t get out and hold him. Rock him, if you have a rocking chair, even better, until he calms down. My daughter had terrible tantrums and that’s what a child psychologist told me to do and it worked wonders.
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If he’s throwing a fit let him bang his head he’ll stop once it hurts him, he’s mostly trying to get your attention and you getting in the floor with him is exactly what he wants,
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Look up signs and symptoms Autism Spectrum Disorder. It is usually diagnosed around 2-4 years of age as the symptoms become easier to recognize as they grow up. Bring it up with your doctor if you feel he needs to be evaluated for it.
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My nephew did this too. He was easily triggered and would bang and scream. Bruising himself very much on some occasions. He has issues he was diagnosed with shortly after that. Get the kid checked out. It may be a phase but it may not be.
Its normal for babies to throw tantrums it doesn’t mean he has to be diagnosed with something. He’s just frustrated and wants your attention. Hug him and talk to your baby. Tell that you are hurt and that he will get hurt if he bangs his head on the floor or the wall. Don’t give up to easy, he wants to say something but he frustrated that he can’t talk yet. Just be patient with him and let him vent out eventually it will stop.
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Maybe an unpopular opinion but I’d make a head banging wall. Buy some quilt batting and material and attach it to an area of wall and let him know if that’s what he wants to do then he can do it there. At your next dr appt (or make one) discuss your concerns with your pediatrician.
Obviously, if you’re really concerned about it, speak to his pediatrician. I was told by my pediatrician when my son started to do this at around 1.5/2 years old that they’ll stop if it hurts. It can be a sign of underlying issues, but it’s not a sure thing. Sometimes it is, in fact, just a stage. If you make a big deal out of it, or have a big reaction to it, that can actually encourage them to do it more. It’s cause and effect, and the toddler years are when they really start exploring that concept. My son will still do it occasionally, but he doesn’t hurt himself, and if I don’t react, he stops pretty quickly. Just my two cents.
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My little boy will be 2 next month. He does the same thing. I let him do it. I do not “baby” he afterwards.
Ignore it. Make sure he can hurt himself. My 12 year old does this. She has trauma though from bio mom. Doctor told me some kids do this though for attention, he said put a pillow under the head and walk away.
Just talk to your doctor, of course. And keep an eye out for distress or injuries. But ultimately, it could just be a phase. My first born did this two, except she would throw herself onto the floor and head bang the floor. One day, she decides to throw a temper tantrum on concrete. She was fine. Sustained no injuries- trust me I was scared. But she never did it again after the fact.
My God child does that when he does that me and his mom just leave him he fall to the floor before he hits his head I put him on the floor and leave him
Honestly, let him do it. I used to do that as a kid. My Dad let me just do it, and eventually I realized that it hurt me more than him I seem to have turned out fine (from what I can tell 
). If you’re really concerned, then talk to his pediatrician. It seems to be a phase kids go through. As a 2 year old, my daughter tried to bang her head against whatever was closest. I didn’t react and walked away. She stopped rather quickly.
Honestly the only thing that soothes my 18m old when hes like this is singing to him. It takes a full “you are my sunshine” before he finally relaxes and calms down
My son will straight up hit himself in the face when he’s upset. My doctor also said it’s a faze, probably for attention, if they aren’t harming themselves to try not to freak out and pay it attention
My almost 3 year old used to do this A LOT when she was upset. Best advise we got was to ignore it. We did and she stopped doing it. Works wonders.
When my daughter was tested for autism, I mentioned she used to bang her head in floor/walls as a toddler, as she got older it turned to hitting herself in head with her palm when frustrated. It can be nothing or it can be a sign of other things they are 2 young to rest for. See a dr and keep note of it, if they need to be tested for asd, ashd etc later on then this might help drs see overall picture
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Well maybe try to avoid the fit in the first place? My son is two and a lot of his frustration comes from not being able to do what or go where he wants. We offer alternatives and maybe a snack instead. Luckily for me his outburst is crying to his room and shutting the door. My daughter at the same age didn’t speak as much and her frustration came from not being understood. We didn’t do this but offer a picture chart? Teach mild sign language. I always teach my kids to say “more” at minimum
That’s what hes doing getting you 1 on one at tension try walking out of the room and tell him you will be back when he is finished I bet it wont last long you are letting a 2 year old controls you
My daughter did this.
Firstly I completely ignored…did not work she would bang harder and actually hurt herself.
I tried putting her in a pram but she would hit the metal part.
Thirdly I held her from behind, one arm wrapped around her, one hand on her forehead so she couldn’t backwards headbutt me. I would say I onow you are upset/angry…just breath andctake big breaths eith her until she settled.
She was about 18 months, I was also told ADHD/ASD. This lasted a few months and she stopped and never saw any other symptoms. She was just frustrated and determined.
I would keep an eye out for his safety when he does it, however had a friend whose son did this when he was little. He only learned by doing it too hard and realizing it didn’t get him his own way. As hard as it is, try to avoid giving him obvious reaction. Naturally, you are going to make sure he is safe but try to be discreet about it. Kids just want reaction.
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Mine did that also held their breath till they passed out. They all out grew it by not making to big a deal out of it. The more attention they get the more they do it. Trust me once they feel the pain of it they will either like pain or stop. Mom of 8 boys they lived to change their ways!
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When my son did that it was due to ear infections he couldn’t yet verbalize. One day he banged his head on a concrete porch. It hurt & he never did it again!
My son did this as well. I just either held him or sat with him. Nothing was wrong. But at a young age they are just trying to figure things out. He’s 27 and he’s amazing. Hard worker fast thinker and first to help someone in a pinch. Hang in there.
We have a friend whose son use to bang his head on the floor at stores if he didn’t get what he wanted. The pediatrician told him let him do it, he will hit it harder than planned and won’t do it again
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My son done this and I think he was having and headache’s, because when he started talking he would cry and complain, of his head hurting.
Pediatrician-let him do it. Don’t give in to the demands.
He will stop when he
- Realizes it will not get his way.
- Realizes it only hurts himself.
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He is doing it because it gets your undivided attention, which is a reward. Walk away for 5 minutes. I guarantee he won’t hurt himself bad enough to kill him. But give him more cuddles when he is being good. You May see a big change in him. But definitely walk away when he grows his fit and do not cave and give him what he wants.
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My brother use to do that when he was that age he is now in his 30’s he had to wear a helmet the doctors told my mom then there wasn’t nothing they could do about it. He stopped after he reached about 7 or so
My son did it when he was little and I told him that he is not hurting anything or anyone but himself but he grew out of it. He would do it on the wall, floor or the couch
Sounds like sensory issues. My son used to do the same. Talk to your pediatrician about it.
Walk away!! The faster the better. Ignore this behavior & he’ll stop cause he’s not getting your attention by doing it.
I would suggest a helmet till you can talk to his doctor also think about time out and redirecting
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I realize times are different now. 30+ years ago I had a daughter that did this as well. I tried everything the doctor suggested even spraying her with water. But one day she started banging her head on the floor, I walked up to her put my hand on the back of her head, told her that I could do it too and banged her head on the floor. Not as hard as she did, but it changed everything, she never did it again. Good luck, it’s not easy when it’s your first baby.
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My daughter did it as well but she has high pain tolerance and it escalated. In her case it ended up being due to Autism. We didn’t know at the time bc she was only a year old. The best thing is to redirect him and give him something else to release stress. Also mention it to his Dr. It doesn’t hurt to say something and he might be able to offer strategies for it.
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Odd answer but I am the one who did that as a child. Young enough that I did it in my crib. My mom asked the doctor about it and his answer was well what do you do? In my case, it was an attention/manipulation thing. My mother says she ignored me doing it twice before I stopped doing it because it wasn’t working. She would go just out of sight (remember object permanence isn’t a thing yet) and I would stop then start up as soon as she came back in. I do think you should ask your doctor though as well.
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I would definitely be going to a doctor instead of social media about something like this!
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Most people saying ignore him cause he is doing it for attention, that may be true but ,
My grandson is only one year old and when he starts to cry or throw a fit. He likes to throw himself backwards and has fallen from couch and has hit head on floor when he has been sitting on floor and did it.
so I know if I didn’t do something to stop it he would get hurt . so I found that when I say " you are OK, and that this is un- acceptable behavior and he needs to stop. " and he knows what I’m sayin. And he stops it. Or he gets a little swat on bottom of he doesn’t stop. And that has worked wonderful !! He gets praised when he stops the bad behavior. So he knows what’s ok and what isnt. He is only 14 months old and he knows right from wrong! So they are never to young to learn. Problem I see with many parents are they think there " babies" are to little to understand! Not true!
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Watch for the triggers that lead to this behavior. Talk to the doctor if it seems medical rather than attention seeking. If it’s attention seeking acknowledge whatever happened and then ignore him. He will settle and you will learn what to do to avoid his triggers most of the time.
Bring it up at the Dr to see if he has ADHD my daughter will do the same thing and she has said something about getting a dog cause supposed to help keep them calm
When my child did this I calmly told him he could join me when he was finished and walked away. Totally ignored him. I took a little bit of time but he realized it would not get him attention. When he calmed down I would read to him or play give him one on one attention. It worked.
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First get him checked out by a doctor because this can be a sign of a neurological problem.if the doctor is not concerned then I would buy him a helmet to protect his head until the behavior is no longer an issue.
Oh my God my son did the exact same thing I have him tested found out he was born Spectrum autism if he hadn’t been knocking his head on stuff I probably would have never found out
I have a grandson that would throw things ( including himself) when ever he was angry or frustrated. I had to make him realize that his actions were not the solution to the problem. I taught him to take deep breaths and hold it for just a couple of seconds that way he could calm himself down. I would then ask him to help see what the problem was and look for the solution. He needs your help to guide him to a better frame of mind.
Most of the time it is for attention. One way to tell is does he have any other ticks or random actions that are triggered by stress? If not he has simply learned he can get your full undivided attention by do it.
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My oldest son did this. I didn’t stop him from doing it, he eventually quit doing it. Once you get a knot on your forehead and you hit it again it hurts worse than when he did it the first time. Nip these tantrums in the beginning because they will only get worse if you don’t
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My son did that at 2. I said “here, let mommy help”. He looked shocked and said I want to do it myself. I told him I’d help next time. Never was a next time. 
Neice did that when she was little the doctor told them to get a spray bottle and spray her in the face lightly they sad i can’t do that but one day she was totally out of control and they did it she was. So shocked. She stop it took a few times. And then they just had to get the bottle and she would stop
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My brother threw tantrums & held his breath. Doctor told Mom to ignore it & if she couldn’t spray him in the face with water. That worked for him.
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Well like people said everyone is a bit different and may have some sort of medical cause, so see a doctor.
…However, my brother did something like this when he was 4 or so and my Mother tried to soften the blows by catching him before his head hit the wall or putting pillow under his head when he banged his head to floor. The doctor she asked for help from told her to stop and to let his head hit the wall/floor. He will stop after doing it with the pain.
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My son did this at the age of 5and 6 when he didn’t get his way or got mad he would smack himself in the head, he would hit his head against the wall, the floor, the table his slide outside the ground we talked to his doctor about it and he said it’s something he would outgrow well he eventually stopped he’s almost 9 now but he now has tics and has to have medicine for it we honestly believe it was caused by his hitting his head like that
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This could be for attention, just out if frustration because he doesn’t know how to tell you what he wants you to know, or could be something significant. Ask the doctor, but you should tryst your instincts.
My son did this when he was young, I am no specialist…just a mom…I cried in front of him and rubbed my arm and when he looked at me like whats wrong with you, I said owwwww…something simple that he would understand. I would do this from time to time for different things. When he was alert and paying attention. He learned by example to use notices, worlds or actions to tell me what he wanted. I used certain hand signals for him to learn how to communicate what he wanted. He is now 15 and sometimes will still look at me from across the room and look at his feet take a deep breath while putting his finger on his temple…this always means he isn’t comfortable. He doesn’t even know he is doing it!
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Seek medical advice. My daughters friends son did this and it can be something medically wrong like Autism. 
My niece did that but it was the floor rather than the wall but same idea. I literally put her in a soft area and dragged her mother away to do something fun excluding her until she was calm enough to join. It worked out but it is rough.
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My little brother did this when he was younger. But usually if you tried to stop him the tantrum would get worse. If you ignored him and let the tantrum run its course he would stop. It always had to be something hard too. The carpet was to soft to try and get his point across haha. But he out grew it and is fine. My now almost 2 year old was doing it for awhile she has seemed to have gotten over it. She did hit her head hard a couple of times and has learned that it hurts and now I’m mad and my head hurts. I would say if there’s really no other signs for autism or anything major. Just let it go they get mad too. Like I said my daughter was doing it and found out no one wins in a headbutt
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This may sound crazy but have you tried having a fit with him pretending to hit your head the way he is so that he can see what you’re doing and maybe that would help maybe he’ll stop
My son did this, he has autism. He did therapy and they showed me how to hold him so he couldn’t self harm, he eventually stopped because he did not like the holding technique.
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Please don’t listen to people telling you this will just stop. Every case is different . my daughter did this when she was little because she is on the autism spectrum. I had to put a football helmet on her head and she eventually outgrew the phase, but it took 2 years.
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My son did this - at first it was very concerning and we tried to stop it but we then let him figure out that it will eventually hurt and he stopped doing it himself. He is now 30 years old with no dents or marks
My first child was a headbanger. Doctor said if I were to completely ignore him he would stop doing it unless of course he’s really hurting himself badly which isn’t likely he will. So anyway I did what he said and sure enough if he didn’t get the attention from me banging his head he stopped
Some people blow my mind…there’s nothin wrong with askin for advise, its normal for mothers to ask other mothers for advise! Y’alls negitivy is not needed! I’m sorry I have not been threw this but I wish you good luck and good vibes your way!
Sit him somewhere soft away from wall, floor, walk away, ignore the behavior until he’s calm. Two year olds have tantrums, but they’re also learning how to talk, and get frustrated when we don’t know what they want, or what they’re trying to tell us. Think about what lead up to tantrum, maybe he was trying to tell you something, you didn’t understand, he’s upset. Then, when he’s calm scoop him up on your lap, and maybe you’ll be able to figure out what he was trying to convey to you. If he was doing something he shouldn’t do, you said no, he got mad, then explain to him why you said no. You’ve got this!
Ignore him mine went through the same phase. It stopped not too long after just don’t give it any attention.
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Yes, talk to the doctor, this may be an indication of autism, or something else. It never hurts to ask.
Some parents, in addition to the usual prevention techniques to avert a meltdown, purchase a helmet to prevent a head and or brain injury. Moving the child to a crib or other protected containment might help. Moving a tantrum two year old is challenging.
I always moved them to the bed and closed the door politely explaining that I was closing until they were finished so I did not have to hear it. They usually screamed good and loud to make sure I did, for a minute anyway.
My oldest was always being bad dr said it was for attention and to ignore any bad behavior and praise all the good
I would talk to the dr. The head banging is a sign of autism. Not saying that ALL kids who do that have autism BUT it is a sign so I would definitely talk to your childs dr. just to make sure.
Ask your Doctor and he may do a MRI just to be on the safe side then ask about the helmet. Does he sleep one side more than the other. Doctors still use them when their head is not round and not growing . The neurologist at Winston Salem North Carolina uses them to make their heads rounder they are blue for the boys and pink for the girls it’s just like a little football helmet . They weer them all day and night only take them off when they get bathed.
My grandson did this he stopped on his own. I think he hit too hard and found out it could hurt.
When I did this as a child my had to go to a doctor they tested me for adhd add autism etc nothing eventually I stopped but I will be honest I stopped when I was a preteen for me it was a self discipline because I know I had done wrong or I felt I had done wrong
As I got they did happen less and less because I did know right from wrong and how to self calm but now as an adult I suffer from migraines so take care of this ASAP
I’m not saying that the hitting my head caused it but I’m not saying it didn’t doctors and I just don’t know so talk to doctor immediately and just keep him from doing getting on floor is a great way to stop it just do your best it could just be attention grabber I’m not sure
It may be hard but the best thing to do is ignore it!! Giving him attention or giving into his demands will only teach him to do it again in the future!
Mine did that too. Except on the floor or table. I simply removed him from it and sat with him in my lap. He’s 34 now and perfectly normal.
My son did that up through elementary school. We had a teacher tell us he needed to be tested for autism. He tested as high functioning.
My nephew would do this but one day he done it in front of gra n dma so grandma show him how to do it and after she got done with him he never done it again