When should kids be introduced to their fathers girlfriend? We just split up about a month ago and he is already seeing someone and she is also living with him. We do not have a parenting plan but I do not intend to keep my kids from him. I also don’t want them around someone I don’t know. I don’t even know how well he knows her…
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It’s an extremely shitty situation. It’s way too soon to even be living together or introducing kids. But it’s just one of those things you don’t have a control over unless it’s proven to be a safety issue. I always say when you know you wanna keep them around long term is when you introduce
My ex and i agreed at least 6 months. Gives us time to see if that person is there for the long haul. Its not fair to the kid to constantly be introduced to new people all the time.
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Maybe you should meet her first then go from there ! Unfortunately she already lives with him so if they do go over there they are gonna see her and be around her .
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A month is way too soon. My kids father and I used to have a rule. A whole year with someone before kids meet them. The kids will be real confused or hurt if he introduces the new person to them soo soon.
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Just because you don’t know her doesn’t mean you cant do a background check and doesn’t give you the say either. If you’re salty because he has someone new n that person now lives with him get over it. That’s like me telling my 37 year old ex husband no you cant move in with your father in law n wife in your in laws house because idk him. Tho he should have his own house by now because he has money n doesn’t pay me child support. Doesn’t mean I have a say. Or like how he doesn’t have a say if I want to take my child who’s 11 1/2 out hunting with a cop friend of mine his wife cant tell me what I can do with my child.
This post sounds very childish and unadult like. If you want to peruse this then take him to court but law states you have to have a good reason. What legal grounds do you have that will stand in court. Good luck pulling at strings. Best you move on and better yourself.
I wouldn’t for a year or at least 6 months. It gives you plenty of time to decide wether or not to go ahead with letting your kids meet them. I am big with stranger danger and having unknown people around my son. I don’t let anyone I hardly know or someone I don’t know around my son unless I’m there for safety reasons.
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I think around 3-6 months is pretty fair, depending on how he knows her and how old the kids are. Also depends on where they’re at in the relationship. Obviously, living together is a huge deal.
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Unfortunately not up to you. You don’t get to tell him who can have his kids around. It sucks that he’s doing this so soon and it will be confusing for his kids, but at the end of the day nothing you can do.
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Get a Court order that way he can’t keep the kids from u ND u can’t keep the kids from him ND that way it’s not gonna be a she said he said thing
I met my stepsons after a month and moved in after 3 months. We’ve been together almost 11 years. 💁 Not your house, mind your business.
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Welllllllll they probably already know her. But I would say they should be dating at least 6 months before it’s acceptable
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This is the toughest part of coparenting, I think. One of the hardest pills to swallow is that you have ZERO control over this. If you and your ex get along well, I would ask to meet her before the children do. Remember though that he can refuse that and legally- you have no say unless there is proof of a good enough reason to not allow her around the kids. I’m sorry. This part of it all sucks.
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I agree I would not want them around her she may be a drug user needles you name it child molester so the best thing to do is make it where it’s seeing if children at your house or going somewhere public for right now just tell them that it would just be easier for the kids at this point until he gets more serious with this girl
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After a month??..naw…you and her need to spend some time together to see what the plan is, go to lunch together, a movie…is she just killin time , or is she for real…only then after you get to know her, introduce the children…
see how they respond/interact with her…see how she interacts with them…last of all, trust your instincts
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I met my now husband, told him about my situation and the abuse I was dealing with at home. He saved me a got my out of there and I was open with him about having a child and everything. It was a fairytale love at first sight relationship and since day one he has shown me and my daughter unconditional love, he has provided for us and done everything in his power to support and care for us and give us everything we want and need. We have been together now for 3yrs and I am expecting our first child together within the next week. After he and I got married my ex married his then girlfriend, I told him I expect my husband to parent and father my daughter the same as I expect his now wife to parent and mother our daughter. Fastfoward and she left my ex because of his abusive behaviour and patterns but she admitted that he (my ex) only treated her as a glorified babysitter and she was the one spending time and money and energy on my daughter. She was the one buying and cooking food for her, she was the one buying her clothes and shoes and necessities. She was the one providing for my daughter while he went along galavanting and spending money on solely himself and depending on his family to feed him at 30yrs old. I say meet the girl first before passing judgement.
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I could just say ask to set up a day and time to all do something so you can get to know her and observe how kids are with him
Ugh!!! This why I stayed 7 years longer than I wanted but the stress of my young kids with some other woman killed me. My husband already made “poor choices”, this me wanting to leave, so I didn’t who he might bring into their world!!! Prayers your your sanity!
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My thing is if he plans on ever leaving your child alone with her for any amount of time to go to the store or run an errand, whatever…you should meet her…im sorry but a month is a pretty short amount of time…and like you said you don’t even know how well he knows her. Things can be done peacefully, but everyone needs to be on the same page and you need to know that your child is well taken care and treated right by anyone who’s around.
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Not your business. He can introduce them whenever he pleases.
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My daughters bio dad and I have an agreement that I am to meet anyone before the kids do and he respects that .
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Considering children are killed, abused and even molested by parents bf/gf everyday your ex needs to get to know this chic before she goes anywhere near those kids!! Since y’all have only been broke up for a month this is a super confusing time for the kids. Why confuse them even more than they already are by having new people neither one of you
Really even know around them??
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That’s sad!But there’s really nothing you can do if she already lives with him, If they’ve been seeing each other before you to separated or if he just met her either way it’s Very bad!!
I’m sorry you have to go through this!!
I don’t know but my ex and I have an understanding that if a relationship got serious (he’s married now) the other parent gets to meet the new gf/bf at the same time our daughter does. I never asked as it was his suggestion. We try to work together when it comes to our daughter. Luckily it has worked for 7 years now. I like his wife, she’s nice and has 2 daughter’s of her own and my daughter calls them her sister’s.
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In 8 yrs my ex has had 2 fiances, several girlfriends, another exwife and now a new wife.
I consider myself lucky that he only visits a couple times a year.
I’ve been with my fiance for 16 months…and still haven’t been able to meet their (him n his ex wife) daughter 
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I think that maybe you should be talking to him and not the internet.
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Chances are this is not a new girlfriend and your kids have already met her
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When ever he is ready to introduce them
Depends on how well you know and trust your ex… if you do it’s none of your business sadly. If you think they have questionable taste and intentions then meet them before kids.
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My daughter didn’t meet my now husband until maybe a year into our relationship, same expectations for her dad
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You should ask to meet her
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A month is little soon… holy.smokes either he was seeing her before yas broke up …or shes a rebound and wont last long.
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I wouldn’t bother with the girlfriend until she want to meet the kids and if their dad agrees.
Wow! So sorry mama! That is a tough one! I would say get to know her yourself first! Sounds like the dad either had this going on for a while or she is just a rebound which would not be good for your kids! I mean she could be a nice woman, but if they dont stay together long, that’s going to heartbreak your kids even more then they prob already are. He needs to think of his kids first then some woman! I dont know your kids age but if they are old enough and know about her, then maybe ask them how they feel about meeting her, but meet her for yourself first
Sounds to me like he was with her when he was with you 
I’m sorry but I wouldn’t be surprised if your kids already know her.
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Wait at least 6 months to see where their relationship is going
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A month is WAY too soon. I’d say like 6months minimum. And that goes for his girlfriends and your boyfriends. How old is the child? I feel like the age also plays a big part in the timing
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Geez let the kid get used to dad not being around regularly first.
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My now SO meet mine on like our second date. Some friends kids and I was all headed to the beach and we asked him if he wanted to go. He was introduced as a friend. It was a amazing way to get to know him better as well as to see how he did around the kid’s. 6 years later and we are still together and he is a amazing father. So to answer your question. There’s not a set right or wrong time. Everone is different. Why would I want to spend time and fall for someone that clashed,didn’t get alone or couldn’t handle my kids? Even more so with one child that is very challenging. We are a package deal. There dad meet him when he stepped by to see kids. As he swings by whenever he likes to see them. He just so happened to be there. He trust me with our children so not sure why I would need his approval on who I can and can’t be with or have around our kids. Same goes for him. I would never ask to meet them before kids did as I trust he will do what’s best for them. she’s already living with him then she will be there either way when kids visit.
Explain to him that the child hasn’t had enough time to process the breakup yet. I just cannot imagine having someone new around that soon.
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You can’t control who he dates or who he moves in with him. It sounds like he was already seeing her before y’all broke up. You can’t control who he introduces his kids to nor can he control who you introduce the kids to. Unless he putting the child in danger, a drug addict or something to that effect you really can’t do much. You can contact an attorney and file a motion with the court system but that is going to take some time. There really isn’t a whole lot that you can do.
If you want to know her ask to meet her without the kids. But in all honesty I would say 6 months to a year before I let my children meet her but it has to be both of y’all to be in a agreement. Because if me n my husband ever does split up that’s our standard for our children. Reason why because when I was 14 my biological father always brought a new woman around and said this is your new momma.
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Strong possibility you probably already know her…
When he feels it’s appropriate and the child will be ok with it 
Been there. Fighting won’t do anything besides make you miserable and stressed. He’s gonna do what he wants to do. Hopefully he settles down and doesn’t run through multiple women. It took years, but I don’t even care anymore- as long as they treat my daughter good.
talk to him about it on how you feel. my now 24 yr didnt meet my current relation ship till proball about 6mths into our relationship .and my x and his girlfriend at time well it was like hi here iam and i didnt like it .but when she visited him i had supervised visits with him i supervised hated it.court ordered that way and thats how i felt.oh me and my current have been together for 10 yrs now.and my daughter was jr. high when they met. and she has nothing to do with her dad.
Set up a time when you can meet her yourself if she wants to be around your kiddos the least she can do is agree to it. That might make it easier for you.
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Then ask to meet her? And get to know her…
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My daughter was with me the night I met my SO.
We’ve been together three years strong now.
Personally, I had a special needs child. Her therapist recommended 6 months and a slow introduction.
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My ex and I have a 6 months minimum into the relationship rule before a new partner can meet our kid.
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I’d say not till they are more serious… Living together is serious but it could be circumstances like she doesn’t have anywhere else to stay… But I would also hope that he’s responsible enough to not introduce your kid to every girlfriend ever! I mean most people have enough sense not to introduce their younger children to temporary people… 🤷
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As long as you keep that same energy when you start seeing someone. See a lot of women get mad cuz he moved on but have already shacked up with someone else. There really isn’t gonna be much you can do unless you have some kind of proof she is unfit. Not saying it’s right that they meet her asap but if she lives there what can you do. If you deny him access and y’all get in front of judge the judge could see you as just a bitter ex unless like I said you can prove she is unfit to be around your kids .
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After you have met her and have no doubt in your mind that if you were gone tomorrow your children will want for nothing as long as she is around.
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Whenever he thinks it’s time
Doesn’t matter how well he knows her , even if he has known her for years there relationship is different now , I would allow my kids to meet the dads girlfriend for at least 6 months and even at that I would need to either meet her or need to know more about her first
Unfortunately you dont really have a say when HE introduces them to his GF. Talk to him though and maybe try setting a boundry. But if he doesnt go for it 
cant do anything about it. Its his life and they are his kids too.
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You have every right to know who your kids will be around.
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I understand that six months is normally the minimal to meet a boyfriend or a girlfriend I would say no
Tell him you’d like to meet at a park. Bring her. Then dad and little can play and you can get to know the girlfriend. Maybe couple visits you bring little there, and stay.
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6 months to one year when they see that the relationship is actually going somewhere and she isn’t just a fling
Plenty time for that.
Anyone that has gone through court knows this is a question setting yourself up for failure. YOU get no say. HE does NOT have to let you know when there is someone else in the picture. You now have separate lives where unless he decided to go along with your plans you have no business knowing anything at all about his life or what the kids do over there unless it is a matter of actual neglect or abuse. Even with solid proof of either of those it seems rare for a judge to step in
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This is a common issue when two people split up and have children. When one starts seeing another person the other parent is concerned for their child. In my opionon I totally get that but its not your choice its his. Sometimes the concern that the other person is seeing someone else is more of a concern of jealousy that someone else besides you will be around your child. Do soul searching and make sure that isnt the case. Also speak with him and meet her. But its his choice I think even if it sucks for you.
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Even though they are living together. I dont reccomend an introduction to your child.
Children become easily attached to people. If things dont work out. YOUR the one left to explain these things to your child. For a few months. Always keep the best interest of your child in mind. I would talk to his father. Ask that you both come to an agreement of 6 months or so. You both need to consider the best interest of your child.
In my case, my son’s father had a fiance. They were living together. Than things didn’t work out. I was the one, that had to tell our son.
Wat is the fucking big deal about her wanting to meet his gf. Seriously folks she has a right to she not asking a whole lot wat is so hard to comprehend now if tge shoe was one the other foot wouldnt father wanna know who child around ? If not then thats plain idiotic
Also depends on the age of children
Oh if he’s moved her in already hes knows her awhile