I was 12 when my mom talked to me about it… but I’d talk to them about it when the school starts talking about it
Sex is starting in middle school these days.
Ive aleays told my boys to double glove from early age and not to have sex with anyone they dont want to be chained to for life. Cause mistakes really do happen often. I think they were about 12 .
Honestly, it isn’t a single conversation. Kids are having sex younger and younger. My daughter has had 9 year old boys make passes at her. We have had lots of conversations since they were like 8. It just depends on what your kids are ready for.
I had a disabled child at 21 and missed out. Hoping that it’s a good form of birth control. But the reason I had him was because I felt my sexuality stifled by my parents and I moved out ASAP in college to be free. Copper IUDs will be what I suggest (not force) to my girls and probably the male shot for my boy. Plus condoms of course. If that leaves them sterile, I will pay for their adoptions.
Talk to them about how it was for you, kids are smarter than us!
I was a teen Mum. Im now 44 with a 25yo 24yo and 2yo.
Just be honest. Talk to them and be real. Give them all the facts and explain where to buy contraception. Its better they get your version than learn from their friends or pornography.
My partner talked to his 14yo about it and explained that we are not stupid, we know this is the age it will be happening so to be safe. Also that mistakes happen and to keep in mind if a girl gets pregnant it’s no longer in his hands whether he becomes a father or not.
I think u get to a point when they get older that u just have to be straight about it. Like worse things then pregnancy like stds ect that can happen. I plan to teach my girls (ive 4) that safe sex 100% and try get them to hold.off as long as possible, but we were all teenagers once. Wont be telling that though.
In my opinion, telling kids not to have sex is not effective. You have to educate your children and empower them to make responsible decisions for their own bodies. Take the curiosity out of it. Take the taboo out of it. It may feel like an uncomfortable conversation but it’s so important for young people to truly understand their bodies, sex, relationships, and what makes those things good. I really think kids who feel more in control of those decisions make better decisions than those who are simply told - dont do it and this is why. — I’m not a mom of a teenager but I work in HIV and do a lot of work in sex education.
Just tell them exactly what u told us … how scared and unprepared u were.
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WOW!!! You Nailed the Question!!! Should be interesting
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Asap. Just be straight. Don’t sugar coat don’t wait. Be open. Be honest n listen. Tell them the worst of it. Be approachable .
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When my daughter got her first period at 12. I was open and honest with her. It’ll be awkward and there will be giggling. Be prepared and be honest. I told my daughter she can always come to me, with no judgement.
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I had sex at 15 and never got pregnant. But got backlash from my mom. Tell tour daughter if she decides she wants to have sex, start her on birth control and let her have condoms in her bag. Same with the son. Condoms in his stuff just to be safe! And tell them to not hide anything from you. Let them know it’s ok to talk to you about it. Also girls st a young age get super attached when it comes to sex because it’s about a lot of feelings
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Do not do abstinence only teaching. It is shown to be ineffective
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Make sure you cover consent, sti, birth control, porn, sexting. Mom of teens here and being willing to talk openly with them is the biggest help. I wasn’t a teen mom but I was a single parent and a victim of child sex abuse. Knowledge is power. Give them as much knowledge as you wish you had been given
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Tell them it’s nothing to be ashamed of or else they’ll end up hiding and sneaking around. For the boy, tell him about respect, consent, and maybe even get him some condoms just so if that time comes he will be ready… or at least able to put it on correctly. With the girl, same thing about respect, consent, don’t be afraid to tell you when it happens, tell her how u could bleed the first time, don’t do anything until u know ur ready, also tell her about plan b and how if something did happen she can come to u to help her get on it.
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I used to think around 13 but lately the world has changed and kids keep growing up faster and faster. I’d say 10 but not too in depth and then awnser qeustions as you go. Have a more serious talk when they intorduce a boyfriend or girlfriend.
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I know u don’t want to think about them doing anything at this age lol but u all gotta be prepared! Good luck!
Some might not agree but I had the talk as much as possible as early as possible
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Is your daughter open to the implanon or similar? That way if she does what most teenagers will do, but doesn’t consider proper protection at the time, at least she doesn’t have the baby consequences, just the STD consequences? Harm minimisation approach? Your son, I am worried about mine for the same reason! Blokes are useless.
Take care with your words, my mum told me my whole life how hard it is being a mum and not to rush it etc etc etc, the message I got was that I ruined her life. Even though that wasn’t her message and it was still effective (no accidents here).
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Then tell them that. I preached it to my kids from a very young age. And when we would see kids pregnant or with babies, I made sure to point it out.
With some kids, no matter what you say or do, they gonna do what they want, just keep them educated and if they doing it anyway, make sure they take the correct measures to stay protected.
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Our son, 13 came to my husband and said he was approached by a girl to have sex with her and take her virginity. My husband took him to Walgreens and had him buy the condoms with his own money. While in the aisle my husband gave him a lesson about all the varieties and what they do. During this discussion he spoke about the all the juices that flow during intercourse and the possibility of blood. Needless to say…they left Walgreens with no condoms and our son is still a virgin.
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You are long past due for the talk with your 15 year old son. Don’t know how old your daughter is but you should probably have the talk with her too. Consider telling them about birth control and letting your daughter know that you are willing to help her get on it if she is or wants to be sexually active. Encourage your son to use condoms if he has sex. I personally would talk to them about the option of abstaining. Out line the benefits of it. Teach your daughter about self empowerment and that making the decision not to have sex is very empowering and why it is.
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I told them they have to be prepared to deal with a baby, STDs, a job to pay for them ect
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I think that when your daughter starts her period, she needs to know why she has it and what that all entails… including sex… for boys, once they start having more of an interest in having a girlfriend or boyfriend. Usually it’s around 11-12-13…
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Way earlier than when we were kids. The topic should be opened at 10.
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I think starting young you answer all questions matter of factly, with proper names of parts and obviously simply depending on age details come later but if you start young keeping those lines of communication open when the questions are simple and just out of curiosity, I have found it’s much easier to have these talks as kids grow into teens. Talks just become more serious and in more detail as they age. It’s much less “embarrassing” if this has been something that has never been taboo. Parts of the body, how they work, feelings you may have, protection, consequences of sex both emotional and physical, I feel like is a progression of talks that happen over years. I have 4 kids. 3 daughters (26, 23, 7) and a son 21. It’s worked for us !! They all knew/know there was not anything we couldn’t talk about and protection was always an option whenever they felt they needed it. I would take them or support them. I have an almost 2 yr old granddaughter and she came after my daughter was married !! I had my oldest at 18 and as you know i wasn’t nearly as prepared as I was when I had my 7 year old later in life.
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I started the talk around 10 and keep it going all the time!
My kids were 7-9 when I got questions from things they heard at school.
Be honest. Tell them about everything. I would suggest starting the conversations early. Kids are exposed to stuff so much earlier than we were with the Internet. Their best defense is the knowledge to be able to make good choices and understand the possible outcomes of getting pregnant, STD’s etc.
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I had it with mine before they turned into teens. Told them how important it was to fill their heads, and not their beds. They have plenty of time for kids after they grow up, and find someone to settle down with. And I told them that if they want to become sexually active, as embarrassing as it will be, come to me first. That way they will have all they need to prevent STD’s and pregnancy. I’d rather them be safe an open about it, than to try and hide what they are doing not prepared. Make sure they know how to use them too! Make them physically show you on a banana or something. Ask them questions. If a condom were to break what would you do?Heard many horror stories of kids just not having the knowledge.
As early as possible!
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Maybe instead of telling teens not to because we all have been there and made most of us want to do it even more, maybe start by talking about safe sex and the risks that could come from not being protected or for having sex before the teen is actually ready.
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Be open and honest from the beginning without shame.
It shouldn’t be one conversation it should be an open conversation about the good and the bad.
Make sure they are prepared as they get older ie condoms and teach them to have respect for themselves and others as well as a good relationship with you so if they need to get out of a bad situation they can call you for help.
- You can’t prevent teen sex from happening, it’s a natural part of life and the more you try to stop it, the more they’re going to want to do it. The best you can do is educate them, don’t scare them. Talk about birth control/safe sex, consent, how a woman’s cycle works, but don’t try to make them think sex is wrong, because it isn’t, and teenagers tend to want to do all of the “wrong” things anyway lol.
- You can help prevent pregnancy. Buy condoms for your son, maybe even talk to his girlfriends parents about birth control, when your daughter is old enough, offer to make her an appointment to learn about the different methods of birth control and if she wants to start taking it.
I was a teen mom, my mom never told me that sex was a bad thing, when she learnt I was sexually active, she was there for me at the appointment when I got on birth control. You can tell them all of the hard parts about having a child when you’re not ready, but it’s best for them to learn the importance of safe sex, and to know that it can be fun, it’s healthy, and it’s 100% normal, but it does come with a risk. My kids aren’t old enough for this talk, but I think it would be hard to tell them that it’s “okay” for them to do it, no one wants to enable their own children to have sex, but the reality is, they’re going to do it, wether you like it or not, so you just have to make sure they’re doing it right.
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Age appropriate discussion from the time they start questioning their and others bodies. Then the big talk at puberty (how babies are made, various puberty talks etc) and continued check ins as you go. The more you talk to your kids the more they’ll see you as a safe space and talk to you.
Chances are they are going to have sex before you want them to. Make sure they know how to be safe and do what you need to in order to protect them (contraceptive-wise). Do I want them to have sex as a teen? No. Are they going to? Almost certainly.
I think that when YOU are asking when… then that’s the time. My kids has “classes” in this at school and came home and asked so many questions… you gotta make sure to not sugar coat it. Cause that’s when accidents happen. I told my girls the truth and showed pictures. Especially of the diseased parts.
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Some kids will choose to have sex and some won’t, no matter what they’re taught at home. We have talked openly since my kids were young. The more open you are, the better chance you have of you kids being safe and educated about their choices.
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I’m still young myself only 22 and my daughter is 1 but I’ve already been contemplating how I’m going To have this talk with her in my head when she gets around 13 or 14 because honestly that’s when kids I went to school with started experimenting so I want to catch it early. My mom never had this talk with me so I’m completely clueless on how to go about it
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You cannot explain that something completely natural “is not the way to go.” All you can do is teach your children possible consequences for their actions, and hope you’ve done that well enough.
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It’s up to the PARENTS discretion. It should be age appropriate though. I started when I potty trained.
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Be honest with them. Share your personal experience and the hardships you faced. Then, explain you don’t condone them having sex but should they choose to you will be there to take them to get protective and preventative measures.
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Im raising 5 girls. I also had 2 step daughters. Im so blunt with them When the oldest started her period at age 10 thats when I gave the talk about sex. I even blew up a condom in the bathtub with water. It filled the entire bathtub. I told them about hormones. I also told them straight out, dont have sex at a young age because of pregnancy. It will slow you down tring to further your education and get farther in life. I also let them all know about stds. Hygeine and everything they need to know. It all depends on the parent when you feel comfortable about it. But these days as kids are becoming different than my generation and becoming more advanced quickly, I would do it at a young age. They will learn it in school anyway. But its better to come out the parents mouth. Age 10 is a perfect time. I have an 11 yr old who started her period at age 9. I have a 7 yr old who knows about it as well. I tell my kids everything they need to know and want to know. I am a single mom of 5 girls so its a household of hormones. Its best this way for my house. No sugarcoating. Afterall you dont want a teenage pregnancy, and you dont want your child with stds and you also want your child to be comfortable to come to you and be open. Its a good relationship to be open minded. My 19 yr old had sex at age 14 even after I gave her the talk. But atleast she knew to use a condom. Kids will experiment. So trust and believe around 10 or around their period time would be the best time.
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As a teen I was told sex is bad, abstinence is key, you rip from your V to your A when you have a baby and how many stitches it takes to put that back together. I snuck around and did it anyways, I mean, What’s more exciting then doing something your not supposed to do?
I wish they would’ve realized that it happens wrether they want it to or not, and talked to me more about the importance of Condoms even once your at legal age.
I personally was not curious about sex till 7th grade, but I’ve heard many boys say they were curious as early as 5th and 6th grade. The most important thing I can think for you, is girls nowadays have long lasting birth control; IUDs, nexplanon bars, depo. Some, not all, but some can lie about being on it, and even if they are it is not 100% protection. They put 99.9% effective on every birth control so they can’t get sued. Condoms are your most important tool, and they’re free at most health clinics.
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Way before they are teenagers
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If you start when their toddlers and you just make it an actual part of conversation about their body and sex and boys and girls , it just evolves by the time they’re 6-9- 12 -15 Ect. and they know how your opinion is. Keep a very open and honest discussion with the children
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I have 7 kids my older ones realize the importance of not. I emphasize that I don’t agree with it but if they are going to be smart and protect themselves. It’s a topic that isn’t shyed away from in my house ever. My kids friends, family, movies, Facebook posts ect I always use the opportunity to make it a discussion when my teens were younger it was a discussion with my other half. Kids listen not like it was a conversation with them per say but when they had questions I tried my best to answer or certain questions where answered with when you get older we will talk.open honest communication when my older two came to me I told them I didn’t want them to but took them to get protection. I don’t want them having sex but I don’t want them to be young parents more.
Start talking to them about their bodies as toddlers. And do age appropriate teachings as you go. No embarrassment and they will come to you. Have literature around house.
Knowledge is power.
Talk them about feelings, relationships, choices. Stds, options. Even be available to talk to them when they are thinking of doing it. My child went to dr to talk about BC before hand.
Since my kids were 5 we have touched base on these talks. And had the major one as they were going into jr high. For the most part they knew most of it. And all talks were age appropriate. I didn’t give more info than needed and used words they understood. The major one included the importance of using protection for numerous reasons, #1 being tied for pregnancy and stds. I explained that I can’t control if they wait or not,but it’s so important that if they choose not to wait. They must use protection.
Having sex as a teenager isn’t dumb lol. Not using protection is… but tbh, a lot of it is taught in schools now. I can understand your need want to protect him from his actions because you had him young but honestly he probably knows about safe sex, just tell him where to go to get condoms, if you think he is having sex. 
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Whenever they asked me I dont care I will be always be honest with my children
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I’ve already spoke to my boys many times about sex. I hold nothing back. They’re going to hear it from someone might as well be from mom
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It’s not dumb, I’m sure most teenagers know about sex by now, but it’s explaining being safe, and choose your partner wisely and always use protection and as for females birth control. Because the more you try and push and tell them to wait, they’ll push back and do it anyway.
I always told my kids a sexual relationship will only complicate their lives
Classes are starting an elementary school. In my opinion it’s never too early to talk about the important things
My children at 14, 9, 7, and 4. We are just honest. The stork doesn’t bring the baby… unprotected sex does. Penis … vagina… sex… ejaculation… sperm and egg. I’d rather be the one teaching them then the streets. I told our oldest (daughter) while I hope she waits, I know that is not the case all the time. I’d rather her come ask to be put on birth control, then coming home pregnant with an std. BUT something important to me and my husband talk about is the importance of them understanding they can come talk to us about anything and everything… that while we might be disappointed, we will always love them. Every parent is different. We also told them all of the slang words. (For the purpose of them knowing what it is… not so they can go saying it) kids make mistakes… take it day by day. Do what’s best for your family. If it’s uncomfortable for you… do it more for an educational standpoint… that way it may be less awkward for the child. Here in California… I pulled my daughter out of sex Ed class… and I will do for my other children too. One of the things they teach that instead of abstinence… and not to get pregnant… anal sex is a choice 
I’m in Southern California… please be the one to educate your children. Not the streets. Good luck momma 
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My son is 13 and I told him if he ever wants to. To please talk first so i can buy him condoms.
I gave my son a younger brother…he claims he doesn’t want kids anytime soon, if at all lmaoooo
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If your already thinking about it, and you think they can understand, start now. My 3 yr old understands what a period is. She understands that her privates are hers and only she can touch them, no one else. I hope that no matter what, my daughter will always be comfortable talking to me about anything.
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My mom hauled my ass to the Dr’s office and got me the pill at 15. Thanks mom! I didn’t have any kids until I wanted them.
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My mom told me about all that stuff really young so I understood where babies came from (not some stork story:roll_eyes:) and what periods were (because a lot of family members started as early as 6 years old 
my mom wanted me to be aware in case it happened. I was 11 when I started) and my mom explained to me really early how it was best to wait until marriage and all of that. At 12 I had a purity ring (my own decision when I understood what it meant and saw how my sister in law had one before she married my brother) I stopped wearing my ring when I was in 9th grade but still held on to the idea of it, my ring just didn’t match my style so much I had plenty of chances to break that promise to myself at 16 and I came close but I had a horrible gut feeling and would chicken out. I started dating my husband when I was 19 (we knew each other since 8th grade) we got engaged pretty fast because I knew that I didn’t see myself with anyone else for the rest of my life. I gave myself to him while we were engaged and I didn’t have that weird feeling.
I think being honest and straightforward with your kid is the best option and having that relationship where they feel comfortable talking to you about those personal things and having that trust that they’ll make the right decisions.
Personally I know that I can only tell my children what I wish for them to do the rest is in their hands and they make decisions that they have to live with
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- don’t wait until they are teenagers to talk about sex. 2) don’t force your mistakes onto them by over controlling them it will only drive them to rebel and even repeat your mistakes so they can show you they aren’t you. 3) be honest about all your mistakes so the ones about sex don’t seem so dramatic. 4) be honest about your struggles. 5) when you talk about sex as a bad thing it’s shaming. Same with teenage parenting. 6) trust that they already are more aware of your mistakes than you realize 7) make safe sex options available. 8.) parent your children and know where they are and what they are doing as best you can 9) trust them to be individuals not your clone. 10) let them know if the mess up and have kids too early you will help them and remain in their corner so not as hard as your experience was. 11) don’t force marriage as a solution to mistakes. 12) be honest and keep your feelings and projections in check. My mother was abusive. I didn’t grow up to be like her!
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Check out Sex Positive Families! It’s a Facebook page and full of advice and resources to help them know how to be safe if they do decide to have sex
Support and be a safe person to talk to…ie access to safe sex items (condom and birth control)…and be open.
Start talking to them the sooner the better. Be honest. You hide things they will hide things from you. Offer to help them get protection. Teach them the proper way to use a condom on a banana or cucumber (both girls and boys). Say I’d you need anything you are open.
Explain your story but don’t make it sound like you are blaming them for being a young mom, state you made wrong choices or whatever the case was.
With girls DO NOT wait until first period to talk as you could be too late if thats what you are waiting for.
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I was 10 when my parents had the sex talk with me.
Let him breed .tell him about the enjoyment of slamming a chick .show him some videos .
Before they’re teens
My daughter and I have always had open discussions and an open honest relationship i never lie . She’s 15 just recently started having sex not actively but has I told her the truth what it’s really like I was 16 when I got pregnant with her I made it very clear her body her choice sex isn’t a bad thing tho I personally think she’s to young and not responsible enough to do so but it will also be her consequences if something happens which isn’t only pregnancy it’s stds a reputation feelings etc I will always love and support her but ive also gotten her on birth control and I supply her with condoms . The first time her and her boyfriend had sex the condom broke and she came to me which I also bought her the morning after pill. and explained it’s not a a form of birth control etc. But my children will never ever feel they can’t come to me.
Just be honest mama.
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My oldest has 4 younger siblings and the youngest is 9 months … he dont want kids till he is 30 he said lol
I’d say whenever the child is mature enough to understand the talk is when the talk should be given. (12 years old) maybe … just depends on the child really.
I just spoke openly to mine telling the boys if things go that way condoms are a must and if need some message me or just put some in there draw for just on case times. The girls you can have a life chat telling them there body is theres and shouldn’t be pressured into doing anything the dont want to do and to respect their bodies. I explained to my youngest at 14 I would like it if she has a steady boyfriend for a year or so before she even thought of that, she did say a friend had lost hers at a party and was pregnant a long time ago but I said if that ever happens cos we all makes mistake to talk to me no matter what and we can talk about things she now 15 and fingers crossed all is fine
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My son is 11 and I’ve had the talk with him already and his pop pop did
I’ve been talking to them about it since they were youngins…
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Better start early… even at 8,9, 10 years old. Explain that holding hands, hugs, a peck all show affection and that those should be for those that mean something to you.
Be it as a tight friend, family member or the opposite sex. Then at 11- 13 start with the sex talks and what constitutes a relationship.
If you do these as little blurps, not as major “let’s sit down” (awkward time) talks. That will open a way for your children to talk to you easier.
We started talking about puberty and the such in 2nd grade. In 5th grade we got detailed about the internal workings and how that comes to make a baby. We talked about consent, peer pressure, safe sex, and life changes due to teen pregnancy. With my nieces and nephews, making them babysit the small ones when they’d rather be doing otherwise and dropping hints that this would be a 24/7 reality if they had their own kid seems to have worked, lol. Also, not giving them a multitude of opportunities to have sex, (leaving them unmonitored). Instilling the idea of respect for their body a d self to not have sex in random places like behind the bleachers or in a bathroom will also reduce the likelihood as this is how a lot of teens are sneaking and having sex, not even realizing how degrading it is.
My mom had the talk with me when I was about 6 or 7 and I’m so glad she did
When they start showing signs of wanting a physical relationship, more than just a “hop along the sidewalk holding hands” type… But please don’t even mention age unless they bring it up… When you give kids limits, they tend to wanna break em… Just make sure they know the ONLY 100% SURE way of not being a parent is abstinence…