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When our kids were able to sit up in the tub, we bathed them and did their hair until they were about 4-5 y/o. During that year between 4-5 we taught them how to wash their body and their hair. From 5-7ish, we ran the water, they set up their soap, shampoo, towels, and one of us would take this opportunity to clean the bathroom every other day, if it didn’t need cleaned up, we straightened it up, made sure supplies were stocked, but didn’t leave them alone. After 7 they started taking showers and did this all on their own, but could ask for help if needed. The dad in this post is being abusive by disciplining his daughter throwing cold water on her b/c she isn’t doing her own bathing. Does he not realize that she could drown in under an inch of water? Turn on the hot water and burn herself? And a list of other things that could cause harm to her? What else is he making her do that isn’t age appropriate? Is she using the microwave to feed herself? If he were a father to my kids there would be serious changes going on and he would have supervised visits only.
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Every kid is different. My oldest son is 5 and needs a lot of prompting. My daughter is 4 and does it mostly by herself, with some prompting, my youngest son is 3 and I still bathe him (we just go over body parts and I say what I’m doing so he’ll catch on). But you know your kid, their strengths and what they can handle. And so do they 
. When the kiddos are ready, you’ll know.
Sorry but thats like borderline abuse like the kids 4 my kid is 7 and I still have to help her with her hair cause she doesnt get all the shampoo out
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That poor girl 
she is way too young and he shouldn’t be allowed near her if he treats her that way! My kids are 6 and 7. Half black, half white. So their hair care routine is different from the usual shampoo and condition. They wash their bodies without assistance but for the most part I still do their hair for them.
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What a JERK !!! That’s abusive !! No, she’s not old enough to wash her own her !! I’d be livid !! He’s completely in the wrong - in *thinking she’s old enough & worse for pouring cold water on her - personally if it was me I’d be slapping abuse charges on him he would *not be allowed unsupervised parenting time !! I’d be up at the courthouse ALREADY !!
That’s so sad!! My kids are 4-6 they try an wash their own hair but I always help to wash it out to make sure it’s all out for them! Your poor daughter must be upset too having to deal with him
Acting like that!
No 4 year old should be left to do anything on their own besides use the toilet first off. It’s our job to teach them how to do things correctly so they know once they’re on their own.
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I wash my soon to be 4 years old hair and I put soap on a loofah and he does his body
I mean my 4 year old loves to do everything for herself right now. When she showers or bathes, I still wash her hair. I wouldn’t trust her to wash it appropriately because if it were her choice, it wouldn’t happen. Lol. As fat as washing her body, I wash her backside for her and watch her to make sure she’s washing everywhere else as needed. I 100% don’t expect her to be doing it by herself. There’s nothing wrong with being a parent and making sure your kid is clean.
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Pours cold water on here? That sounds abusive wth is Wrong with him?? I don’t think no 4 year old can completely wash up on their own properly. I can’t believe your daughter allows this behavior from him
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That’s a form of child abuse - pouring cold water on her - someone should do it to him. 6-8 is a perfect age. 5-6 by themselves with guidance to ensure do properly. 
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Hold up! What!! That’s child abuse! He needs to be evaluated asap by cps! Stop his visits until this is managed . Who knows what else he is doing to her if she doesn’t do what he says!!! Lord pray for that baby!!
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I say 8 or 9 on washing hair especially. Their bodies maybe 6 or 7 . but kids are different so its hard to determine the age.
That Dad need to be put in his place by someone, who does that to a 4 yr old or any child far as that goes, sounds like he needs to back up from fatherhood or learn how to be a father, thats just cruel.
No 4 is not old enough. They can barely wash their feet let alone there hair. That’s bs
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Honestly each child maturity level is different. Some are better at this than others. If it is a shower it is easier to remove shampoo. But, a bath is a little different. Child may not recognize that there is still shampoo on their scalp. I would always check to make sure all the shampoo was off the scalp before the kids exited bath or shower. Once they understand and consistently remove all the shampoo. Then they can handle task on their own. No age is the answer, it is a milestone of maturity. And somebody needs to report Dad! (Complete idiot!)
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This makes me so sad. That poor baby
It all depends on the child. My daughter is turning 4 mid May and she just recently started showering completely on her own (besides me turning it on to the right temp) she washes her hair and body on her own no problem.
I do not agree with pouring cold water on her for not washing her hair though
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My 4 year old niece can pretty much bathe herself.
It really depends on the child but he’s way wrong