When should my husband adopt my daughter?

My husband and I have been married for a year and a half together 5 years total. My daughter was 2.5 when we met and they do adore each other. She calls him daddy and i am very active in his 2 childrens lives. (Split custody with their mom). We have often talked about him adopting my daughter(bio dad gone since she was 6 months). He’s for the idea but would like to wait until she’s a little older (7 now) so that she can really understand the process and what it means. I get that, but without her bio dad in the picture and issues with my family if something where to happen to me I don’t want her taken away from him. He’s her world and vice versa. What are some of y’all’s thoughts on this? I understand both sides fully but I’m torn. Help please.


Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. When should my husband adopt my daughter?

Have you tried talking to her about your husband potentially adopting her? Maybe see if she understands what adoption means and ask her how she would feel if he adopted her

He can’t, you will have to contact her father, he still has rights like it or not.


You’ll have to file something with the courts to get biological dads rights terminated completely before he can adopt your daughter.


Bio dad’s right’s have to be terminated first, then you can start the adoption process. Might want to start it now if you don’t know where he is though, because it could take that long just to get it done.


Talk to a lawyer. If your only concern is he’ll be alienated in the event of your death there’s probably some documents you can have drawn up that’ll hold over until he and your daughter are ready.

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You can make a living will now and address that issue without an adoption

Is bio dad on the birth certificate?

Bio dad’s rights would need to be terminated first before adoption could officially take place. A lawyer would need to become involved.

When my daughter passed away, her husband got custody of one of her sons, even though I was raising 2 of her children and her husband was the stepfather. It really depends on the state and what the courts decide. You really need to discuss this with a lawyer.

Talk to a lawyer.

However, I think you should respect your husband’s wishes to wait.

He has his reasons and I think it unfair for you to push it until he is ready.

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You could still put that in your will. If he really wanted to adopt her he would start the process now, which is long. Just my opinion

Contact an attorney now. She’s old enough. There are steps you have to take to get her bio father’s rights terminated before the adoption can happen. If her father objects, it could take awhile. So, go ahead and contact the attorney now and get the ball rolling on getting those rights terminated. Maybe by next Father’s Day, you can have a big celebration.

You wait until she asks for it.

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Yeah don’t be pushy on the man cuz ur more than likely scare him away

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Awe what a great man. It’s all about love. I would record everything and then she will remember everything. It’s never too early good luck.

You need to explain your reasons to your husband then sit your daughter down and ask her what she would like to happen. It is always best having all the t’s crossed if anything was to happen to you where a child is concerned stating it in your will is not enough.

I would start the process now

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He can only adopt her if the father gives up his rights

Started it now because tomorrow is not promised and if something did happen to you. The bio dad might get her…

You would need to file abandonment or get the father to relinquish his parental rights before your husband could adopt. I would start on that process now as it can take a while. Also could you add in your will that if something were to happen to you he is to retain custody? That way you are covered until they are both ready xx

If she’s 7 she can definitely understand and comprehend an adoption. My half sister was that age when my dad adopted her. Step parent adoption aren’t too difficult but depending on your location could be timely.