When should my husband adopt my daughter?

My husband and I have been married for a year and a half together 5 years total. My daughter was 2.5 when we met and they do adore each other. She calls him daddy and i am very active in his 2 childrens lives. (Split custody with their mom). We have often talked about him adopting my daughter(bio dad gone since she was 6 months). He’s for the idea but would like to wait until she’s a little older (7 now) so that she can really understand the process and what it means. I get that, but without her bio dad in the picture and issues with my family if something where to happen to me I don’t want her taken away from him. He’s her world and vice versa. What are some of y’all’s thoughts on this? I understand both sides fully but I’m torn. Help please.


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Have you tried talking to her about your husband potentially adopting her? Maybe see if she understands what adoption means and ask her how she would feel if he adopted her

He can’t, you will have to contact her father, he still has rights like it or not.


You’ll have to file something with the courts to get biological dads rights terminated completely before he can adopt your daughter.


Bio dad’s right’s have to be terminated first, then you can start the adoption process. Might want to start it now if you don’t know where he is though, because it could take that long just to get it done.


Talk to a lawyer. If your only concern is he’ll be alienated in the event of your death there’s probably some documents you can have drawn up that’ll hold over until he and your daughter are ready.

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You can make a living will now and address that issue without an adoption

Is bio dad on the birth certificate?

Bio dad’s rights would need to be terminated first before adoption could officially take place. A lawyer would need to become involved.

When my daughter passed away, her husband got custody of one of her sons, even though I was raising 2 of her children and her husband was the stepfather. It really depends on the state and what the courts decide. You really need to discuss this with a lawyer.

Talk to a lawyer.

However, I think you should respect your husband’s wishes to wait.

He has his reasons and I think it unfair for you to push it until he is ready.

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You could still put that in your will. If he really wanted to adopt her he would start the process now, which is long. Just my opinion

Contact an attorney now. She’s old enough. There are steps you have to take to get her bio father’s rights terminated before the adoption can happen. If her father objects, it could take awhile. So, go ahead and contact the attorney now and get the ball rolling on getting those rights terminated. Maybe by next Father’s Day, you can have a big celebration.

You wait until she asks for it.

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Yeah don’t be pushy on the man cuz ur more than likely scare him away

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l get paid over $120 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $18786 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

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Awe what a great man. It’s all about love. I would record everything and then she will remember everything. It’s never too early good luck.

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You need to explain your reasons to your husband then sit your daughter down and ask her what she would like to happen. It is always best having all the t’s crossed if anything was to happen to you where a child is concerned stating it in your will is not enough.

I would start the process now

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He can only adopt her if the father gives up his rights

Started it now because tomorrow is not promised and if something did happen to you. The bio dad might get her…

You would need to file abandonment or get the father to relinquish his parental rights before your husband could adopt. I would start on that process now as it can take a while. Also could you add in your will that if something were to happen to you he is to retain custody? That way you are covered until they are both ready xx

If she’s 7 she can definitely understand and comprehend an adoption. My half sister was that age when my dad adopted her. Step parent adoption aren’t too difficult but depending on your location could be timely.

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You can write wills up saying he would be her guardian if something happens to you

My husband adopted my daughter at 7 !
Her biological father is deceased tho. I think she understood quite well. And was excited to have the same last name as us. Good luck. :four_leaf_clover:

Could you put it in your final wishes that she is to stay with him as her legal guardian?

Is her bio father on the birth certificate?

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even if her bio dad isn’t in the picture, he still has to give up his rights. But even if he doesn’t , your husband still is her ‘dad’, & if when she is older, & she wants, she can change her last name to his, Just remember, just because they don’t have the same DNA, doesn’t mean they don’t love each other & she will always consider him as her dad, because that is what & how she sees him, But she does have a bio dad, in which later on, she also might want to see & have a relationship…or not

I wouldn’t push it, let him do it on his time.

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If he doesn’t love her enough NOW to adopt,doubt he ever will unless you nag him and he will resent it

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Name him as legal guardian .this way if anything happens she will stay with him and the process is alot faster and easier than adoption .and in the future when the adoption process takes place it’s goes smoother because he is already her legal guardian


Contact an attorney to find out all the laws and procedures first!


Is biofather on her birth certificate? Have you gotten a child support order? If so he has to sign off rights. Don’t push him to adopt. If he doesn’t want to then he will resent you & her for being pushed into it. You can make a guardianship plan that appoints him as guardian if anything happens to you.


She’s 7 she’s old enough to explain it all to and see what she thinks. You’d be amazed as to how much they can understand if you just give them the chance to absorb all the information around what you want them to know. If he really wants to do it then take her out just the 3 of you an explain it all to her. See how she feels an what she may not quite get and go from there. Honestly though I’d be worried about the fact that she calls him dad she may not realize that he really isn’t her father if y’all haven’t already explained that to her bc that’s something she could have understood as a toddler an if you never said anything to her about it an just allowed her to call him daddy the entire time. There’s a good chance she might not understand the conversation just for that factor and could potentially upset her. But bc you didn’t mention anything about that i dont know so I’m only covering it just in case. She’s old enough to make the choice. Ppl don’t realize that kids are really smart. It’s when they get older an outside adult influences and other teenage influences are the reason for the stupidity that comes from some bc those influences poison all the good things they already know and make them question everything an then they get into trouble. Just talk to her and go from there.

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yall aren’t giving the kid enough credit. you say she’s 7… if yall sit down and explain to her whats going on I’m sure she’d have some questions to better understand but she’d understand quite well.

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Wait until he’s ready. He’s being reasonable.

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Did you talk to a lawyer to work out something in case something happens before the adoption?


Explain to him your reasoning for wanting to get it done now, if you haven’t already. If he still wants to wait I’m sure there is away to name him legal guardian if something were to happen to you without actually going through the adoption process.

Both of my children are adopted. We got custody of my daughter when she was just about 4, but the adoption wasn’t finalized until a couple of months before she turned 7. Our son on the other hand, came to us at 13 months and was officially adopted when he was 4. Aside from the reasons they came into our care, we’ve always been very open about the adoption with both of them. In fact, when they were little, they’d play games on roblox or SIMS and would get excited to adopt children. Despite their age differences, they both have the same level of understanding about being adopted. They also had to sign adoption certificates for us when we were in court. So, along with our adoption decree, they received one for adopting us as their parents. In the end, all that matters is that we have each other and no one can take that away. They have the stability they need, and we have the children we always wanted​:heart::blue_heart:

I have a daughter, that will be 9 tomorrow. Her biological father hasn’t seen her in 5 years. I also have an almost 14 year old son, who’s biological father hasn’t seen him in 10 years. My husband adopted both of them this past March. For my son, it was easy. His biological father signed the papers willingly. He couldn’t wait to be done with child support payments. For my daughter, it was a little more difficult. We had to send numerous requests and notifications to the biological father and even though he had nothing to do with her, he refused to sign the papers. That was until, after 5 years of no support, I filed for child support. He all to willingly signed the papers then. With the consent of the biological fathers, it was really just a bunch of paperwork and a hearing with the judge. We didn’t use an attorney, we filed ourselves. Aside from my husband stepping in and stepping up, without hesitation, and loving and treating them both like they were his own, I also worried about something happening to me and the kids being pulled from the lives they know and being sent to someone who didn’t want anything to do with them.

I understand that your daughter calls him Dad and that he IS dad, but does she know that he’s not her biological dad? Mine obviously knew my husband wasn’t their biological dad, but to ask them, they would both tell you he IS their dad. My son didn’t want to go to court, but my daughter did. She talked to the judge and everything.

I would say, that’s his daughter and he’s her dad. Make it legal!


She’s 7. Believe it or not she’s old enough right now to understand what it means.

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Leave a will, leaving her to him in the mean time

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I would talk to your daughter and ask her how she feels. When it comes to step parents I feel it should be up to the children to decide it that person should be Mom or Dad

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He’s obviously not ready you can’t force on him like that. Wait til he’s ready then u all should sit down and discuss it give her the choice. I do believe she is old enough to understand everything now though.

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On the legal side if something to happen to you yes well thought of, emotional wise he’s already committed
Men are crap at getting things done just get the papers started xx

The earlier the better. If you change her name you don’t want her learning one name in school then change it. …my husband adopted my daughter we did it before she started school

If he is ready and really wants to do it, why not now. She is old enough to know that is the only daddy in her life, so why wait? If he is ready to take on the responsibility If being her real father, go ahead and make it legal and change her last name to his

What is it he is wanting to understand more of? Doesn’t seem like he is 100% ready. I wouldn’t force it. Him adopting her or not, doesn’t make him more of her father. i wouldn’t press the issue. And when he is ready or not, he will let you know. Right now he is her dad and that should be all that matters

The sooner the better

if anything happens to you her bio father has every right to step in and take her unfortunately if her bio father is on the birth cert you need his signature for the adoption…