When to have the talk with girls?

At what age do you have the full blown birds and bees talk with your girls? My friends kiddo seems to have stumbled on adult content via Tic Toc and now I’m worried wondering when to go ahead with in-depth talks? We monitor iPads/TVs ect but school makes me nervous to as that’s where I learned way too much at a young age. I also don’t want to be too early and freak her out!


Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. When to have the talk with girls?

My mom and I had our talk as soon as i started my period (around 9). It was very clinical in the explanation- tab a inserts into slot b, baby is made sort of thing.

You should be talking and conversing with your children from the moment they are born. Don’t project your insecurities on them. Children are more intelligent than most people give them credit for. There is no designated age, especially if you talk to them their whole lives. Just keep it age appropriate and use the actually vocabulary. Don’t make up words the ‘cookie’ for vagina. Good luck mama.

My daughter is 6 years old. She is in kindergarten because she missed the cutoff date for unenrollment because of her birthday. I plan on having to talk with her either next year or in 2 years. I’m very in tune with my child we talk about everything she tells me pretty much everything and so I’m trying to stay in tune with the school as well through her. Every once in awhile I ask her some questions I’m trying to get an idea of what her and her friends are talking about. In the beginning of the year she was at a different school and she was being bullied, the girls in the class told her that the boy who was bullying her wanted her to be his girlfriend and she didn’t really understand that. So I just explained to her that that is not an appropriate thing for children and that is an adult thing. Already we are very transparent as to the body and talking about the body we use proper names for anatomy and she also knows where babies come from because she just had a baby sister. So I’m hoping that when the day comes no one would babies come from will make the talk easier as to how babies are made.

I would do it before middle school, because if not they will learn everything there. At least you can tell her. But I did have the the period talk in 4th grade.


I mean. My girls are knowledgeable about the birds and bees at their age appropriate level. My 6yo knows that a mommy and daddy have babies and that mommies carry eggs and that daddies carry seeds. That mommy and daddy need each other to make a baby cause a baby needs an egg and seed to be made. That was enough for her. Just answer the questions at an appropriate age and don’t shy away from the questions.

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I bought a book called body science. All of my kids were taught about their bodies and the like before they were 10. In my opinion, the more educated they are about these things, the better decisions they can make in the future. If you shy away from it or make it taboo they will feel shame. Be open and positive about it. The more they know the better they will be.


Oh and they both know (my 6yo and 3yo) about periods and that they’re also needed to help mommies get the egg and create babies. They’ve seen my pads and walked in on me changing them and saw the blood.

As soon as they started teaching her in her last year’s of elementary I started explaining to her how it works. Not about how it’s done but how she has to take care of herself. The importance of doing such activity. Things that can happen in she does it with the wrong person. Oviously telling her this will not happen till she’s 18. But letting her know that if she has questions, she can come to me and ask. I don’t want her finding out in the streets or on the internet. Kids are awake even younger now so you have to beat this new world and educate her before the new world does.

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I’d say not much after 10 years old. I started my period at 12 but knew several girls who started at 11 or even younger. I don’t know that I’d have the conversation much younger than like 8 or 9 though. Talking about ut and how our bodies work is a little different them telling them to expect theirs to start anytime soon or teaching them what to do when it does.


My kids have known since they were 6. Learned from school and asked me. The sooner the better. Kids learn all kinds of stuff from others. I’d rather be the one to tell my kids and explain. Also makes sure they know about safe sex. Now a days you can’t protect your kids from this.

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My oldest is almost 9 and middle is 7, so far I’ve only told them the basics, what a period is, not to be scared, that your body is making great big girl changes! Haven’t exactly gotten to the why part yet. The 7 year old doesn’t seem to care about the sex part yet and the oldest one is getting close but I’m more worries at this point about her realizing something will happen (she has bad bad bad anxiety over blood) but not to be scared. It really just depends on the maturity level of your child.

We started about 3 when loads of people around us were having babies and then slowly added to it. We never had the talk

If you have a 5 below near you, they sell a book about girls bodies and boys bodies and it is very appropriate. My daughter read it and when she started her first period (2 weeks ago and almost 12) she handled it very well. I also have never hid anything from her if she asked. If I thought she wasn’t ready, I’d tell her we’ll come back to that later on. She has seen me change while on my period and I told her she’d get it later on. You will know when your child is ready to understand it.

I don’t have a daughter I have 2 sons. One is 8 almost 9 and the other is 13 almost 14. My 8 year old is WAAYYYYY to smart for his own good and has figured things out along the way (he taught me that an egg was a chicken period. He was like 6/7 years old, I was in my 30’s lol) my oldest is not ready for sex at all but we keep an open dialog and when he has questions, I answer. I have asked that we don’t date or have sex until after 16 but I have also told him I’ll get him condoms if he felt he was in a serious enough relationship. He’s also aware that it only takes 1 time to have a kid and kids are a lot of work and your stuck with that woman forever so choose your sexual partners carefully and being a boy raised without a father, and being as empathetic as he is, I know he wouldn’t abandon his kid.
As a girl who was over sheltered and got pregnant the day I lost my Virginity and the guy wore a condom, I feel it’s never to soon to have age appropriate conversations with our children regarding sex. Teach them the word “No” is a complete sentence and about consent and rape and that sex is normal, natural and is meant to feel good it’s not dirty it’s beautiful but meant to be had between to consenting people who unequivocally love eachother. I would also let them know if there are things they don’t understand (especially if their friends are talking about it) to ask me what they mean and not them because they could very well be wrong/uneducated.
I also feel that children should know before entering a highschool setting (that’s typically between grade 6&9 depending on your school board and region) and this should be done over a span of years prior to entering.

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They should know age appropriate information before grade 5 it’s just very basic knowledge after then when puberty is in full swing they should know it all
That’s how I feel everyone parents differently as every child is different

I was 8 when my mom told me. I didn’t get the option to give it to my now 12yr old. My ex husband and step mom did. She knows it all… I think she may have been 10 or so. They also gave her the period talk. And so on. She knows all the dirty details. My now 10yr old doesn’t know all the details. She knows mom and dad’s make babies and where they come out of. But she doesn’t know boy part goes in girl part and ect. She isn’t ready. She knows about period (my 12yr old started hers recently)… (their dad and I have had kids with other people since so that raised questions.)

It was 5th grade and she was 10. I didn’t have a choice because kids at school were talking inappropriately. She knew about periods and stuff at 7.

It’s not a one-time thing, it’s an ongoing conversation. You explain a little at a time at their level. Actually a little past that—kids know more than you think earlier than you think.

“The Care and Keeping of You” 1 & 2 are awesome books: one for younger girls under 10, one for older girls 10-12. Highly recommended.


It is recommended to start early and use age appropriate

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My daughter is 8 and I have spoken with her about periods and the BASICS of reproduction (boys have sperm, girls have eggs, when eggs die they are expelled=period, but if fertilized (meet sperm) baby development occurs.) She doesn’t know the ACT that causes sperm to meet eggs but just a general overview and that she will get breasts eventually and what not…(my little sis started her period at 8yro and I didn’t have mine til 11 so just wanted my kiddo prepared)

The average age for a girl’s first period in the US is about 11 now. It has dropped by about 1.5 years from when most of us were kids.

As a camp counselor, I knew two girls who got their periods at camp who knew little to nothing about it. One was 14.

I agree with others who said to definitely tell her by age 10 and not to make it a big deal. These are things she needs to know about her body and why the changes happen. Avoid all awkwardness; that leads to shame. Planned Parenthood has resources on how to talk to kids about sex. Check their web site.

I started young for both my kids cause the ones that parents dont talk about it make a bigger deal out of it so its annoying and its part of life. Same thing as teaching periods and what not. :rofl:

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That aren’t girls but I talked to my boys in kindergarten. It wasn’t full everything but I was pregnant and they wanted to know how the baby gets in there. It’s an on going conversation you have. My daughter is 2 and we already refer to body parts by their proper name. Baby steps.


Let her lead the conversation, (once you initiate of course). She’ll let you know how much of a mature conversation she’s ready for. Someone up there :point_up_2: said their kid knows that mommy carry eggs and daddy carries seeds. That may be enough for yours, for now. You can leave it at that until she starts questioning more, or realizes somethings missing. Each kid is different. But whatever you do, please do it in scientific detail before she goes to middle school.

Worst app ever created!


It’s an ongoing conversation but if it’s even a question as to whether the child is old enough to know even the basics, I doubt that they’re actually old enough to be on TikTok. You’re supposed to be like 12 or 13 minimum for it because yes, like any social media platform there can be adult content. But not only that, there are predators who use child appropriate content to groom children.

Before high-school. I started puberty ect. in primary school year 6 so aged about 10 xx

8 as puberty can start this early

I plan to be open and honest about that stuff as age appropriately as possible with my daughters. I’d rather them know the correct information from me than hear dumb stuff from kids at school (or future significant others) for example like “blue balls” :roll_eyes:

Just talk to her. My daughter is 11 and I ask her every so often if she has any questions and what all she knows and then I correct what she knows to how it really is. My daughter is very in touch with her sexuality and came out as Pansexual to me a few months ago so I guess it really just depends on the child and how y’all interact with each other.

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Since girls are starting their periods as young as 6 you need to start puberty talks at a young age as well as talks about inappropriate touching. Start with age appropriate discussions building on knowledge as they mature.


In response to their questions. Do you honestly think that children lived in one room houses didn’t know about sex? The difference is where they get their info and whether it is factual.

Oh lord ,I was 13 when I stayed at a friend’s house and she put a porno in the vcr I was like turn it off and I told my mom when I got home the next day so she gave me a little talk about the birds and bees you will have to have a talk with your child now just make it appropriate for his or her age group.

My daughters are eight and six… my six year old asked me how babies get in your tummy and I just ignored her I’m so scared for that talk with them


Considering I had a baby at 15, I will be talking to my daughter around 12.

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You should be educate them all along just keep it age appropriate


From the very beginning. Have age appropriate conversations. If they’re able to get online at all it’s past time to have conversation about tricky people. Just have accurate information and grow upon the knowledge as they get older. Combat misinformation before they get it.

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I wrote my boys a letter. A long letter. It talked about sex, periods, homosexuality, VD, contraception, birth control, teenage gossip and double standards. Literally every thing I could think of.

I gave it to them to read in private and told them it wasn’t to share with friends.

At the bottom I wrote my email and told them if they were too embarrassed to ask me something in person they could always send the questions in an email.

I have the same letter to all 4 of them when they got to the right age. Which was different with each one.

From the moment they are born. Correct name for body parts, discussion of anatomy on the potty, bath or shower.
Preschoolers should be given factual information if/when they see animals mating, and be given the opportunity to see puppies, kittens, or livestock being born. They should see human and animal mama’s nursing their babies, and should know that periods happen to all females before they even get to first grade. If you have open discussions of these things over all those years, talking specifically about puberty will either be unnecessary or easy. By the time you want to discuss sex with a preteen, the conversation can be more about relationships and responsibility, than about the mechanics of it.

I don’t have girls but I feel both should be just as educated and informed as possible. I started as soon as they started asking questions. Just use your best judgement and keep it age appropriate. I don’t sugar coat things bc I don’t want them being hit with reality and being caught off guard. The more they are educated the better chance they have of making educated decisions.


Start the conversions young with age appropriate information

It’s lots of little talks, using correct words for body parts from birth, that kind of thing. I’m pretty sure my mum bought me “Where Did I Come From” when I was 5.

My boys asked about babies when they were 4-5 and I just answered the questions in the order they asked. They told me it was gross and disgusting.

As they get older, I make little comments about things during movies in regard to consent, safe sex and all of that. I caught one of the watching porn. So we had a chat about how it’s all acting and a lot of women don’t feel comfortable doing some of the things in those types of videos, and you should always ask and check in with your partner.

My kids are pretty honest and open with me and I think it’s because I was the same with them.

Have the talk when you think it’s time… but why are kids on tiktok ? They really shouldn’t be.


We’ve always had age appropriate talks

When they start asking questions. Mine was about 7

24 years old, right after her 2nd or 3rd kid


Well kids are having sex as young as 9. Puberty is starting then too. Sex and sexually suggestive stuff is everywhere without any context. You don’t need to get a condom out and dental dams or lube but ask her opinion about stuff and try to make it conversational. You don’t know what they think they know until you talk about it. Let her know that you are there for her and if you don’t know you will help her find the answer.

Start talking about it early in. The basics. Talk about private parts and their correct names. Talk about what’s appropriate and what isn’t. Make sure sex is not something they are afraid of or that it’s always dirty. Talk about consensual and all of that. Trust me. You don’t want them learning from someone else.

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I think there are age specific things to talk to them about, especially if they start asking questions. By 10, I think they should have a basic understanding of reproduction and how it works. But before then should be about boundaries, consent, make sure they know that people aren’t allowed to touch them, etc. You don’t have to go into graphic detail and I would keep it scientific. If she has questions, try your best to answer them even if it feels weird to discuss it. It’s better for them to get factual knowledge from you then teenagers online.


I told my daughter she she was about 10 after I saw in her search history that she was curious about boys and girls kissing or in their under garments. Kids talk about it. She learned from kids on her bus and at school. They see and hear more than we know. I rather them be prepared now then unaware invade something happens.

The younger the better and more comfortable they are with asking questions. Just keep it to their understanding. Don’t worry about age things just, make sure they understand what is said.


I think it more depends on the maturity of the child, society is definitely not like it use to be and kids need to definitely know! I discussed it with my daughter when she was 8 but she also hit puberty early and she has always been very mature for her age! Not to mention it kinda freaked me out when I seen a 4th grader pregnant :woman_facepalming: it’s ridiculous go with ur instincts because no matter how much u monitor their device there will always be that chance of something coming across their newsfeed!

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I would watch YouTube view deos from r advice and chose which method works for you

Education goes a long way to protecting them from sexual abuse aswel. Its never to early for them to know how things work, what’s wrong and what’s ok. You don’t have to go overboard with talking about porn etc

How old is she? I’d say 10 or 11. Puberty hit early for me. Plus in school we learned about it. I would start with that and go from there.

When they start asking you questions… it’s always good to wait until they’re ready :slight_smile:


It’s never too early honestly. For young ones there are appropriate ways to explain it. I had the in depth talk with my oldest at around 10. Just gave the talk to my youngest last year at 8/9. Its really important these things are discussed because if they don’t hear it from a trusted adult then social media, tv, and friends will fill them in.

Do it now, along with the body change talks. My “talk” was “pads are under the sink”, when I asked, thankfully knowing what was happening to me because my foster monsters didn’t want to be embarrassed.
Really, do it your way. Make sure she knows the truth rather than rumors and that she can always come to you with questions.

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Been told they should know everything by age 9. I found that fairly accurate. Before they learn everything via friends etc…

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I start early… like… my 8yr old knows it takes a male and female to have kids. She knows where they come from (vag and section) she knows all about periods. I also have two 13yr daughters. They know everything. My 13yr old daughters got their periods like 1 week after their 11th birthday. My 8yr old is already showing signs. (Which is right on track with the other girls)

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The younger the better. Sex ed starts in primary school here…approx 5yo…obviously age appropriate info re hygiene , healthy diet, exercise etc …sadly children need info early to keep themselves safe…and its opening the door for questions as they grow up. Early chats mean less embarrassed adults and kids know they can come to you for the correct info rather than learning the wrong things in playground talk.

I had sex at 12 & pregnant by 14, so don’t do it too late :joy:

I have a couple things to say on this…. There will ALWAYS be kids that know what it is and make sure to spread it alllll around. I’m sure by now your daughter has caught a general idea of what it is.

Our oldest is a 10 yr old boy, we have already discussed puberty and periods (scientifically and how they work, nothing about HOW a pregnancy occurs)

With that…. It came time and he asked. We gave him the WHOLE answer. Children will spread misinformation so we wanted him to have all the right information about sex and what it is from pregnancy prevention all the way down to infections and diseases.

I’m going to say about 9 or 10. Depends on her maturity level. I matured very early. Had my period at 9 didn’t know crap about it just woke up doubled over in a puddle of blood embarrassed to death cause I was at a friend’s house. Still had no talk after that besides sex Ed in school which I was already sexually active by then and pregnant by 14 had my son at 15 and I think had someone had the talk with me I would have remained a virgin a lot longer.

I have ALWAYS been very clear with my kids ( with age appropriate words of course) and just look at it as something very natural. My kids have a book that talks about where babies come from and we read it all the time. Don’t make a big deal about it

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If she’s on tik tok. She’s ready


You should do it so gradually that it never feels like a big talk. It shouldn’t feel like you’ve dropped a bomb on them. When they’re little tell them some basics, and as they grow tell them a little more, until they ask for more specifics and you clarify. Always age appropriate communication, but never secretive. They shouldn’t feel like they’ve discovered some secret. My son is 6 and he knows basically everything, but he asks questions sometimes. He knows where babies come from. He understands basic anatomy, privacy, consent, urges, body safety and responsibility. As he gets older, he’ll probably ask more. We have a very transparent attitude toward everything. He knows it’s all completely normal and that he’s safe to talk to us about anything.


I don’t think it’s ever to early to start this conversation. I would give her the break down in an age appropriate way (since we don’t know age) and then let her know you are available for whatever questions she has and no question is off limits.
If she is 10/11, the conversation doesn’t change just add more puberty information since she would be dealing with it soon anyway.

Going into big school. The summer before they start

Never too early, just have to make it age appropriate and it’s a continuous process and many many conversations along the way. Extremely important because you also want to have the conversation about being safe online, grooming signs, discerning predatory behaviors online. It’s hard. Sick and crazy world we live in. Weighs heavily on my heart for my daughters and my sons but I have very open and frank conversations. Obviously the content of said conversations is very different with my teens than with my littles.

Times are way different now. There isn’t a magic age really. Just trust your “Momma feelers” when to. Usually right around their “ first monthly visit “ - and what it means - :v:t4::heart:

8 with period talk.
Again at 10
Again at 11
Again at 12
Again at 13
Again at 14

My kids 15, we haven’t had ‘the talk’ but we’ve always talked openly about periods, bodies, sex etc in my house. I’ve never made it anything to be ashamed of. She’s always came to me with boy questions etc and a few of her friends have too! She’s really mature and turned on for her age, I’ve no worries about anything like this with her, but every child is different x

My mum did the talk at 12 but i was a premature developer and started my period at 8 so im going to talk to my now 6yo about her reproduction soon so she is prepared but we will do sex talks before she starts comprehensive school