When your kids are on their own (or don’t live with you) but younger cousins of theirs have a birthday party…who invites them? If I’m invited to my niece’s party should I tell my step kids, who are 21 and 17? My sister in law says they’re welcome, but is it her place to invite them now that they’re not little and just attending with me? Or do I tell them because they’re my kids? I literally haven’t experienced this from the kids’ side because I don’t have family that big. I’m not sure what’s normal!!
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My parents still tell me about family dinners and such I’m 34.
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If I’m not invited by whoever is hosting then I’m not going. If the host wants you there they would invite you.
Every family is different. And sometimes, within the family, each member might handle invites to their functions separately. An uncle might invite the “kids” directly, while grandma might expect you to communicate it to them. If you’re not sure, ask the person holding the party.
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The person throwing the party should invite them. If We are not personally invited we Will not attend any function…
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It would be nice for the invitation to come from her.
That sounds like she’s leaving the invite to you. My family consistently forgets to invite me to things and it’s always because everyone assumes someone else told me about it. It hurts a lot, I’d tell my adult children myself just to make sure they know.
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My older daughters are 24 and 19 and I still keep them updated on family events. It takes 2 seconds to send them a text with the info, so why not?
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I think the person who is having the party if they don’t live with you.
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Yes, you just tell them, she said they were welcome which is basically telling you to let them know
You said they said they are welcomed then u should invite them. It takes a minute to send a text. If it’s a family event and no bad blood I would. If there is bad blood then proceed with caution.
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Depends what stage they are at in their adult lives. For adult children who recently moved out or in college, you would extend the invite. She can absolutely send them an invite as well, but if they aren’t close then it should fall on you. Do the adult children have families of their own?? If they are living on their own with children of similar age than she should send them an invite. Are they not close with your SIL??
My mom still tells me about family events and I’m 33. That’s how my family is tho. My aunts and uncles tell their kids too.
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The party thrower does the invites
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Tell them they can decide if they want to go
No ,not your place.
If the invitation was to you and kids far enough, but if you only…No way.
If the host says they are welcome fine, but she’s being lazy by not personally inviting them
I’m 28, my mom sends me a quick text or gives me a phone call to let me know about family get together.
Is this really a problem? If you’re invited tell your kids
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If she said they’re invited then let them know
We had this same issue with my family telling my parents and then my sister and I feel like we aren’t actually invited because we live on our own and have a family of our own we should be invited separately from my parents!
I’m 35 years old and my mom still informs me of any and all family events.
My family is big enough I get invited 3-4 times to everything but generally speaking it’s never by the host of the event. But that’s just how my family works…invites are always “through the grapevine”
She said they’re welcome, that’s an open invite if you ask me. 
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Always make sure you invite your adult children to all family functions!
If she said they’re welcome to come, you tell them about it. My mom still tells me about all the get togethers
If she said they’re welcome, Just tell them. I’d say her saying that means to let them know they’re invited. In my family everyone let’s everyone know.
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“Normal” is nothing but a setting on the washing machine, dear. As long as everyone who’s welcome gets invited, it’s all good. Just do what works for your family!
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My mom still needs to tell me lol. I’m 32 with my own kids but they mostly tell her and ask her to relay the message
My mom still tells me most of the time. However always double check with whoever is hosting that they are invited before mentioning it to them. Never just assume they are if not specifically mentioned.
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My mom used to tell me when the get togethers were. We also had brunches on Sunday without fail so you just knew to be there. But the bday parties and special events I was always told by her OR the ppl attending.
im in my 50s and my parents are in 70s and they still tell me about family events like family reunions the first person to find out would be my parents on that on date i know its every2 years though. . even if they go out of town.
Invite them. I was left out of a lot as an adult because of this exact issue. Don’t be that step mom.
If your sister in-law let’s you know about a party including you and your kids/bonus kids, ask her if you can call your kids with the invite.
My moms side the family they tell my mom and my kids and I go with he and my mom tells me. My dad side the family they have family stuff and don’t invite me 
then think I am crazy when I am
Upset
In my eyes, an invite for your family is exactly that, your family. I have step daughters and would never not include them, if someone tried too? I wouldn’t go
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Are they family?
Sister in law said it’s ok!
Now help a sister out an call your kids and let them know
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I’d say mom of the kids 
I’m 26 and my family still tells me about events, but if I don’t get a direct invite from the host, sometimes I don’t go.
(Not to be rude, but because I have other things going on in my life, and feel I should be invited directly)
If they’re saying their invited, invite them.
I’m 40 and my mom is the one that tells me about family functions and get togethers on her side. Also if I’m throwing something and want to invite my aunts and uncles I get my mom to invite them for me. This is mostly because she sees and talks to them more than I do.
It’s ok for you to say something because sometimes people don’t check Facebook or messages etc…
Birthday party, etc - Host
Holiday plans/generic BBQ - You (at this point you’re saving the host time, especially if invitation is word of mouth)
Yep my mom always just passed the invite on to us kids and I do the same with my grown children
Do what you’ve always done, lol
My in-laws tell my husband about family gatherings. I’m the black sheep in my family so my grandma tells me all the details.
If I don’t tell them my grown kids then my brothers wife will so they have the option to show our not show but yes someone makes sure they know.
I organized my family events (we’re small). My MIL texts me for all of husbands family events though and we’re 34
The host of the event should invite.
Although, I’m almost 40 years old and I still have my mom calling me saying “so-and-so is having a cookout this weekend and wanted me to let you know”. I haven’t lived at home in 20 years!
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If they’re invited tell them, she might not have their numbers. However by this post you can see what kind of step-parent you are.
If it’s for all. We put in invitations, “tell your family.”
She said they’re welcome so just let them know. If she didn’t mention them I wouldn’t have mentioned it either bc they’re adults.
If she told you they are welcome thats her invite through you so it would be you that tells them.
All our family invites come via my mum, she’s 72, I’m 52
All our family invites come via my mum, she’s 72, I’m 52
I don’t really think it matters but she said they were invited so I would let them know if I were u
In my family I usually hear about things because someone mentions it in passing. Then I get oh you’re invited. I’m on call 24/7 unless I make the time to go to stuff like that. It always short notice enough I can’t go. So I don’t.
If your invited you should go younger children will get to know family.
I would think that the person holding the event should invite them. Or if the person holding the event says please tell the kids to come that’s different
If it’s a family function I tell my kids to invite their kids. I always invite additional family.
Shouldn’t even have to ask this question
From the “kid” point of view… this drove me nuts!! I moved out and even had kids of my own and my family still was including me as part of my mom’s invites to functions.
I stopped attending.
When people asked I just casually told them I wasn’t invited. I didn’t get angry or cause a scene.
I think my mom said something to my aunts as well.
Maybe when you get invited to a function and they ask you to pass on the invite you can ask them if they have your kids contact info. Mention that the kids would really appreciate direct communication/invitation.
Why don’t you make a habit of asking at the time of the invite? Have you invited my kids or should I do it? Problem solved. It’s what I do.
I have bonus children and I say that not matter what if you married a man or woman who has children you also married their children which make them forever your
You have to take the whole situation into consideration. The host may not have their numbers, address and don’t stay in contact with them. She’s letting you know they are welcome because it might be easier to reach them that way. It’s pretty normal. Tell your kids, “Hey, it’s so and so’s birthday and they wanted me to extend the invitation to you, if you are able to come great, if not, we understand.” and just go about your day.
Not your events, not your business to tell them.
I still invite my son to family things, I don’t think anyone else even knows how to get in touch with him. I think when the cousin’s or kids get together though, without the parents/aunts/uncles, then they extend the invitation.