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QUESTION:
"Me and my husband are pregnant and I have now had 3 guy friends make comments to me about my baby being theirs. I've been with my husband a couple years now and it is mutual friends of ours saying this and its so bizarre to me. One guy said I'd love it if that baby were mine and when I said that it made me uncomfortable, he immediately apologized and said he was just joking but he's avoided me since I told him I didnt like that. Which who cares but its awkward now. One guy said it in person (in front of his wife and my husband) that’s my baby in you and I acted like I didn’t hear it cause it was so weird but his wife did and looked upset. (obviously) And the third guy has told me and my husband that my baby is his or refers to my baby as “our child” when talking. I literally don’t know how to respond and I feel so weird but I’m thinking I just need to correct the other 2 like I did the first. It’s so weird, no I don’t cheat on my husband, never have, never will. And I’m honestly wondering if anyone else has had their guy friends say stuff like this to you when you were pregnant. Idk what to do. Is it a joke? but some of the guys have made these comments like twice or three times now. What does this mean? At first I thought this wasn’t a thing or something anyone would joke about & say to happily married people but three different guys have done it so I’m not sure"
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"My husband and friend’s said that to me, it was just a joke to me. They even said my priest was the father. I think his friends were shocked he is going to a dad."
"I had a few do that to us when we were expecting and now, 5 years later, one still talks about our son being his… I don’t understand exactly why it’s such a common joke among men but it is so I play along and remind him that I’m still waiting on my child support checks"
"If there friends with your husband also they might be just like a guy thing. Like hey man I’ll protect yours like I would my own thing but definitely clear it up and make sure that’s what being said"
"It’s a common joke men say to pregnant women they’re friends with. I think it’s a backhanded attempt to compliment you and tell you they find you attractive."
"My husband's friends do it too. just tonight my 4-year-old was yelling for his dad at practice and one of our friends answered him and my kid literally said “no, my other dad” Guys are weird. But if you’re husband doesn’t take offense to it, then I wouldn’t worry. I also joke about waiting on child support payments."
"Me and my husband and friends do this still and my kids r 2 and 8. My husband still to this day says my son belongs to the mailman. I even do it with my friends that pregnant. I’ll be like that’s my baby in there. It’s literally just a joke."
"They’re taking the piss, if it makes you uncomfortable tell them that you don’t find it funny."
"Just say…”That’s right! Child support payments will be sought“"
"It’s a lame guy joke. I had one of my husband’s friends (we were dating at the time) tell him that he was going to say hi to his son later that morning. They’re in the military and apparently it was a joke between the guys. I still mess around with my husband asking if he’s sure our daughter is his, she looks identical to him down to how they act. I’ve never given him a reason to doubt me so he knows it’s a joke. Their humor is different, i don’t mind it and partake at times. They have to entertain themselves somehow when they spends month after month deployed or training."
"It’s just a gross joke. They probably don’t realize exactly what they’re saying. In their minds if it’s a joke it’s harmless. Now here’s where we tell if they’re nice misguided guys, or assholes. Have you asked them to stop? If not please do and see how they react. They should be nothing less than sorry and willing to stop."
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