I have 2 girls ages 3 and 2, and anytime I am with them, it seems all they do is whine and cry. They will spend alone time with my husband, parents, in-laws, and sitters, and everyone says the same thing. That they haven’t cried or whined all day or that as soon as I saw me, it’s like a switch went off. I know I’m their “safe space,” but somethings gotta give. Any advice to stop this madness?
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i get it my boys too 
except my 1.5y will cry for me to everyone. my 4y don’t care til Im by him.
Just know you’re not alone 
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As to why, I can really say… But I would suggest stopping them mid-whine and talking to them like adults and helping them find their words and tone for what they’re wanting/needing.
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I feel u girl. I really really feel u 
good luck!!
Mine went from the whine phase to clingy phase now 
Not sure which ones worse
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They’re toddlers, and you’re mama … it’s natural 
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Mine are like that too. It’s just a mama thing. I have 4 boys.
You’re mama. You’re the person they feel most comfortable letting it all out to. It’s a good sign.
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My daughter still does this and is almost 7 
any tips or trick im all ears as well 
For whining, I tell mine that I cannot understand her when she speaks like that, I tell her to find her nice voice and use her words properly. Also, I ask her if she needs a few minutes alone to calm down first.
For crying I say the same, but with a whisper and ask if she can hear me.
Sometimes it works 
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Same situation over here. My almost 18 year old daughter and 11 year old son were not like this. My almost 4 year old is absolutely different with me than with others. I’m sure it’s because I’m his comfort/constant etc, but that doesn’t make it easy for us. Mine has bouts of rage when with me but doesn’t display it with people outside of our home/school/daycare. I guess I should just consider that a blessing but I absolutely understand where you’re coming from.
I feel like the age is a big factor. And probably because you’re mom and they know they can lol.
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My kids are 14 girl n 10 boy n 3 girl they all they still whine about everything. And they fight nonstop all three of them two older ones are worse lol
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Kids only do what you allow them to. Now this doesn’t apply to everything but in this case if you give in when they whine that’s why. I agree that Mom is always a safe person to tick off but you have to find a way to break the behavior. My son was super clingy with me and was a nightmare for anyone who babysat my Dad was the one who just let him whine and cry and once he saw that didn’t work he just stopped. They became absolute besties
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You are their safe space like you said so they feel they can let those emotions loose around you of any overwhelm, etc. It’s just that age. Try to stay calm and remind them to speak with their “big girl voices” when they are asking you for something. Like when mine went through that and would whine something at me i would say i don’t understand that please use your big kid voice and that would allow them to recognize how they were speaking and change it to get what they wanted
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Nothing has to give. They’re new to this world still and you’re their most safety and comfort that they realize they have in life. Cherish it. It won’t last forever.
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Mine whines ands screams “help, please help me!” It drives me insane and makes me feel bad at the same time. We live in an apartment building so im lucky my neighbors know and have seen her to know shes ok!
You’re their safe space. They can’t let loose with others. You’re the place they defuse.
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You are their safe place!
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Why stop something so natural
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My 11 year old whines man. My toddler whines too. They’re babies still
You are their safe place… the place they can go to release their frustration, built up anxiety, and all those big feelings that are too big big their little hearts, minds, and souls…
Just stay calm and redirect them while still allowing them to express their emotions…
When my kiddos were little and going through it, once back to me I’d make sure they had coloring books and stuff ready… it worked as an outlet…
Other times I cranked the music and we had a dance party (my kids will be 8, 14, and 16 soon and we still have our dance parties… where we jump around, sing, dance, just let it all out… together, safely… even my almost 16 yr old son gets in on it… lol)
Hugs!
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Make them repeat their words in “Their normal voice” Opposite of what they want… only. If they whine and cry. Tell them first… I’m tired of the whining and crying. I know you do not do this for other’s, so the new rules are… I won’t be listening to whining and crying… if you want something, you’re going to have to use you normal voice. If you tantrum… we will definitely not be doing what you want… we will do the opposite. Have this talk with a matter of fact voice when they are in a good mood. When they start to whine repeat, pardon me… pardon me… everytime they whine. DO NOT GIVE IN. They have learned this works on you… so… stop. Do not let it work… anymore.
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I literally just read this whilst my 2 year old daughter was winging because her 3 year old brother did something to her. I honestly feel this in my soul. All my children ever do is winge and wine but are fine for anyone else.
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They don’t know how to express their feelings. They miss you. I know it is hard, but try to hold them more-hugs and reassurance. Gentle explanations. You won’t regret it ten years from now
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If my daughter whines, I ignore her. When she was 2 and started whining, I told her that I would not listen until she talked to me instead of whined. She’s 6 now and stops herself from whining. I did the same thing with my older kids, they are now 24,22 and 19. Kids will do what we allow.
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Lmao you’re kidding right? 
you have a long ass road ahead of you lady! Had you never been around kids before orrrr? 
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Its there age thats what they do and plus your mom
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Lol sometimes you get a question on here that makes you giggle a little. There are so many reasons that kids whine lol. But at the end of the day they whine to mom because she’s their safe place in the world!!
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3 & 2 year old are very whiny around momma. I’ve had 5 of them, they are all like this. How you respond to it makes all the difference. It is something they’ll grow out of.
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My 3 yr old does the same thing with me & sometimes my husband, her daddy … he babies her though I don’t lol with others not even a peep except all talking & giggles. When you find out how to make the whining stop please let me knooowww 
haha
Same !! 2 boys ages 1 and 2.
You whining about 2 and 3 years old whining is madness…it’s normal.
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Because their babies and you as mama are their safe space. Let them be little. It doesn’t last forever.
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Mine is 9 and still does it 
just a normal thing for kids because they don’t know how to deal with emotions and communication. I’ve learned to ignore it for the most part.
Be more positive with them…
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My kids are 7 and almost 5 and it’s still constant whining and complaining around me, I’ve tried everything, I hold them, love on them, reassure them, everything and still it’s just constant fighting, whining and crying. I’ve gotten to the point now where I just tell them if they aren’t seriously injured or emotionally needy that I’ll listen but not intervene. They are old enough to understand that but with littles it’s a lot easier to redirect them. Try having a one on one “interview” when they start fussing. “What’s your favorite color? What’s your favorite song? Do you want to sing it?” That usually distracts them enough to redirect them.
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I have 3 girls! (5,2,and 6 months) 2 is rough! 3 is even worse. My advice is ignore them when they act this way. Don’t baby talk them. It’s their age and a phase 
hang in there!
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If my littler Littles won’t use big kid words I have them lay down cool down and try again. My special needs 5yo and my current youngest (4yo) sometimes their emotions are running the show and they need some time to calm down so they can use their big words so we understand what the issue is.
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i ignore it lol ill walk away go in my room n shut my door till they stop cause it annoys me so much. or ull send them to there room n tell them to go play n don’t come out ofnthere gonna whine and cry
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Do you get mummy guilt and give them extra attention over the smallest thing? If so that will be why.
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Do you go home at night and whine to your husband about work, your day, co-worker etc?? MAYBE Kids do the same thing. Just in a different way. Just a thought…
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My daughter is 6. I tell her if she wants to whine she can go to her room and whine. She will either go to her room and whine and play or stop.
Need the same advice, my son is 2 can speak in complete sentences and can ask for things that he wants but still chooses to yell and scream for things he wants or just to get my attention. And even when he gets it he’ll keep just screaming
My 3 yo son almost never whines (I got super lucky with him somehow)… my 6.5 yo daughter can be whiny sometimes (she isn’t too bad though), BUT my 10.5 yo daughter has been whining for 10.5 years and still won’t stop good luck I really think it just depends on the kid, and 2-3 is usually a very whiney age, and unfortunately mom always tends to get the worst of it.
I read somewhere that a lot of kids do that with their parents Especially momma cuz it is there safe place. They see you and all of their emotions come out as a whine. It gets better with age.
This is normal. This age they are pushing boundaries and have little control over what they do and where they go. Imagine if someone else decided when you got up, what you are going to wear, when and what you will eat. And so after a long day of being pushed around…mommy is back. They kniw mom will live them NO MATTER what they throw at her. So, as mentioned before, you are the safe place. And if they need to vent, whine or just habe a melt down- you will love them when they feel better. It’s age appropriate. It will get better. They go through it again around 8/9. And then the teen years. Hang in there. You’re doing great.
I read the first line and went, oh that’s normal! They’ll outgrow it as they gain the vocabulary and emotional maturity to express themselves well. You’re their safe place.
Ignore it and hang in there until they are about five. You’re not totally in the clear at that point but it will get better, until theyre about 11-12 and then it comes back… with attitude
Good luck! Lol
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It’s a girl thing I think my boys aren’t as bad lol
My girls are 3 and 2 and if they’re not beating the shit out of each other they’re complaining about something The secret is to stay out at parks/play dates and do other activities to keep them busy 
Because you are there safe place
And they are doing it for no reason ignore the Behavior
I told mine that I couldn’t understand them in the whiny voice and to try again in their school voice. It’s funny to watch them pause and reset. For complaints, I put it back on them to solve, “Wow, that sounds like something we can fix. What should we try first?” When they were older, I made them write complaints out. If it were important enough to write, we’d solve it together. If they were lazy, then it wasn’t something I could help with.
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My advice… just wait it only gets worse before it gets better. There is no give, you are mom and welcome to moms life 
big hugs
Ugh my 1 year old does this! She has to be on my lap or in the same room literally day and night or she screams. I even do chores with her on my hip. She’s Mommas girl but it’s exhausting. Everyone else says she doesn’t do it with them either.
I don’t agree with this “your her safe place”. I’m my daughter safe place and she’s behaves the best around me. She knows the rules and she knows there’s no getting around them. Crying and whinniing will he ignored but if she asks nicely and uses her manners she almost always get what she wants (within reason). I will never give in to a crying kid. (Unless hurt)
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Are you emotionally connecting with them?
Welcome to motherhood. You do the most work to ensure your babies thrive and they give all there love and attention to everyone but you. And it don’t get any better as the years roll on but every now and then their is a priceless moment that makes it all worth while. A hug, a kiss ,an I Love You Mummy these moments are rare but oh my goodness when they come they are magic.
My twins will be 4 in June and they both do this they are also glued to me everywhere I go they go. Hugs and prayers 
I know how you feel
Because they are kids.
They are toddlers
Enjoy it
They will be grown before you know it
They felt safe and know you love them no matter what
My kid is almost 5 and yes it gets worse lol, he whines before there is anything to whine about and then whines more lol!!
Give it until they’re about 5… My 5 year old only whines when she’s tired now.
Just sell them on Ebay, that’s what I did.
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I tell them I don’t know whine so I do give or do what they want
Kids whine because it works. Tell them, “Whining won’t work. Use your normal voice and I’ll listen.”
They’re young, so you’ll have to walk away several times. But kids whine because it works.
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Because they know how to manipulate you, all kids know how to manipulate their parents. It’s up to you to change your behavior and how you react to it. You need to tell them I don’t hear you what you want and you need to talk plainly to me. I know that that’s not going to work for all kids but try it it might help
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Yes you are their safe place and yes that is just children especially at that age
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I mean my Càts calm with everyone but as soon as I’m home she’s bòuncing off the walls. When you’re something’s sàfe space they do that because you’re what they’re most comfortable with
Way are u doing to try and change this do u spend quality time with them one on one with them ect as it sounds like their tryna get your attention kids don’t care if its good or bad attention any attention is good to them so maybe it’s something your doing if they don’t do it with anyone else
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Wine back to the child and keep it up until they - themselves can’t stand it - then she will hear how annoying that nonsense is 
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Because you allow it
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RaeAnn Kranz see we’re not the only ones
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2 & 3 is hard. You can’t really tell them to quit whining. I would just try to get in the habit of saying “Big girls don’t whine, you want to be a big girl right? Let’s use your big girl words!” And whatever their whining about, Cup, food, toy etc say “would you like your—-“ “say —— “ I hope that I make sense. When they do use their words, praise them! Do it with smiles etc.
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I used to get so fed up (and still do honestly) with the way my 7 and 8 year old whine and bicker and tattle all the freakin time to me but never to their dad or anyone else then someone told me quite simply one time “when they’re with you they feel completely safe and are their true selves”. Sooooo doesn’t solve the problem but at least it shed some light as to why it is that way I just do my best to block it out.
Because they’re toddlers. My 10 year old daughter crys at the drop of a pen these days. Soooooo. It continues.
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No it’s a girl thing. My 7 year old still does this. Teacher, family says she’s perfect when with them
I have 2 girls… same ages
Put them in time out and tell them they can’t get up until they stop
Or don’t acknowledge it
They may be doing it just to get attention but they need to learn now that that’s not the way to get it
Best of luck mama!
Kids are 8000% worse for their mother than for anyone else.
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Following dealing with whining all day
You allow it.
I’d put mine in their room until they were ready to talk without whining. If that’s wasn’t an option, the answer was always No.
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welcome to motherhood… where toddlers will test everyone’s last nerve, especially siblings… this may change once they start school…
Your 1st sentence answered your whole question
Enjoy that phase they will outgrow it they are still babies …just hug those sweet little angels when they are having melt downs
When my kids were young my friend Wendy used to call my kids Doug and Wendy Weiner.Oh they were horrible.On SNL they had a skit with Gilda Rattner + John Beliushi ,their names were Doug +Wendy Weiner.
My twin girls are 4 and do this and so does my almost 12 year old lol. No end in sight at this point haha.
My daughter became like that when she saw me less because of working. Try and engage with them more (when they ARENT being bad) and play with them. See if it helps! It did for me. 2 year old over here
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Because kids act differently for all adults. My kids at calm and chill for my husband. Me they are like wild banshees living in my house, constantly bicker, fighting etc… I do a lot of positive reinforcement with them. I try to do busier days to keep them busy and going.
I don’t have any real help. Lots of patience, counting to 10 and deep breathing.
Yikes at a lot of these comments. Children at this age are learning emotions, something that most adults struggle with. Validate and point out emotions to help your child recognize and process them. Most important let them feel. I highly recommend looking into Erik Erikson’s developmental stages. At this age they are exploring autonomy and independence.
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My daughter was exactly the same way. She whined with me constantly: ALL. THE. TIME. As soon as she was with someone else- Grandma, Grandpa, Auntie, Teachers, etc,.- the whining stopped and she instantly turned into a “big girl.” As soon as Mommy showed up, Baby came out with the whining again. It was really frustrating, not being able to get past it. Everyone would tell me she wasn’t like this when I wasn’t there, but honestly it was hard to picture, as this was all I saw. To be honest I guess I did “baby” her some. She is my only child, so there is/was that.
They will eventually grow out of the whining thing. At ages 2-3, they’ve still got a ways to go, though. Just love on them.
A suggestion might be to not respond to whatever it is that they want until they use a “Big Girl Voice”, without whining, and show them what you expect (as long as they’re not hurt). Sit down with them and explain that the whining hurts your ears, they’re getting older, are learning more words, and everyone needs to work on not whining when we speak. Maybe be silly and whine to them, just so they can hear what it sounds like. Or maybe every time they whine and cry, you give it a go. It might make them pause for a moment (at least the older one). Just an idea.
Say back to them repeatedly… I can’t understand you. They will get mad at you but it works.
My son begs, cries, whines, moans, needs, needy, cries all to me- to his dad, my parents, doctors, teachers, school staff, friends- he acts tougher than nails and nothing is ever wrong and he doesn’t hurt.
They whine with you or act out because they feel safe and feel like they can show more of themselves. Don’t punish them for trusting you
My kids are 4 and 7 and my 4 year old still whines! When he has a fit that he can’t control I get down to his level and hug him and love him it just seems to calm him down. They just want the attention and love from you!