Why do we shame working moms?

I’d honestly love to know why do we shame working mommas who for the most part that can handle things by themselves ??? Especially those with their Husband or S\O by their side because they love them and want them. Not because they depend on them financially!!
82 Likes

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Why do we shame working moms? - Mamas Uncut

1 Like

For the same reason stay at home moms get shamed

14 Likes

Sounds like you just shamed moms that depend on their husband financially :woman_shrugging: because apparently they don’t love them and want them lmao :rofl:
Same reason

17 Likes

I never been shame for being a working mom. We as women have to help out too!

1 Like

Prob ignorance, jealousy,judgement? Im single mom of 2 its def my greatest accomplishment. If anyone hated/judged THAT i didnt notice/care

Why are you slick shaming sahm like I read this and was offended … like yes I’m dependent on my husband financially but I also love him and want to be with him… but being a mom was my dream job… some people want to be a nurses or dentist some people want a large playroom filled with mess and kids. To each their own

17 Likes

You literally just shamed every single stahm that depends on her husband financially? I don’t keep my husband around for his money. I keep him around because I love him and he loves me? This entire post is weird.

21 Likes

Yikes, I think all of us mom’s beat ourselves up no matter what end were on. I used to work and stressed not being present in the home enough and now I’m a SAHM and stress not making money. We put it in our own heads. My husband has never treated me differently no matter what position I am in.

6 Likes

Same reason you just shamed those who don’t work in the same sentence. If you wanted attention for being a working mom that badly you didn’t have to be a hypocrite and downgrade a sahm too :roll_eyes:

8 Likes

I didn’t know this was a thing…

2 Likes

How about we stop shaming moms in general? Whether you go outside your home to your job or you stay home with the kids- it’s a job. Only difference is one gets paid and the other does not. SAHM rarely get the recognition or appreciation that is owed to them. Let’s try this: let’s be supportive of our fellow moms. Some choose to work outside the home and some choose to stay home. With the costs of daycare continually rising and spaces become scarce, sometimes it’s the better choice in the meantime to stay home.

7 Likes

I’ve been both a working mom and currently a stay at home mom. Both are equally challenging yet has its benefits. I’d rather be a working mom, to get out of the house and make some money. That’s not realistic at the moment. Both are none of anyone’s damn business. We shouldn’t be shaming each other anyway. Grow up.

Just like you just literally shamed stay at home moms :woman_shrugging:

15 Likes

What sort of backhanded s#lf pity n#nsense is this :rofl::rofl::rofl:

A sahm takes more shame from society, most working moms misinterpret their “guilt” as being shamed
Both end if that is a shite position to be in tho

Because we aren’t “fully giving ourselves to our children”
It will always be a battle.
I just don’t give it any attention anymore .because what works for me and family may not work for another mom and hers.
And If they aren’t paying my bills or putting food on my table, not their business.
Same for me. Not my place.
It’s nobody’s place.

4 Likes

Usually, from what I’ve seen, jealousy. Either the shamers are divorced or aren’t with their baby daddy.
Once said women heal and grow, it stops.

MY STORY:
I was widowed at 27 - no Life Insurance - 3 small children.
I took in laundry and ironing and on nice days detailed cars out in the driveway … but would not leave my children.
Five years later I was in a short-lived marriage and had 2 more.
Tell me, at what age do children no longer need a mother?
Never, until she dies … but when they move out of the home, we cut them lose to test the waters, right?
STRESS can be defined as a working mom … Prove me wrong.
Allow the husband to work -
Be a smart shopper. Shop thrift stores - grocery store sales, etc.,
I did it - for 29 years total. No, the kids did not have designer shoes or clothing, but they always had a mom home when they were. They were the envy of the neighborhood kids. :wink:
BEEN THERE - DID IT …because I did it God’s way.
The hand hat rocks the cradle still rocks the world … no wonder it is in the mess it is with millions of angry adult/children.
Prove me wrong -

4 Likes

I get shamed because Im not a working momma, but i promise I do my share

4 Likes

I’m a working mom. Always had to be. Even when I was married. I would absolutely love to be STAHM now. But, I can’t.
I see comments all the time when other working mom’s ask how to get it all done in a day… a stay at home mom will comment “I’m so blessed to be a stay at home mom” or when daycare issues arise on a thread “this is why I stay home and my kids don’t attend daycare”.
It’s easy to be offended. But, it’s also easy to scroll by.
You do you and I will do me.
Don’t let your feelings get hurt by someone’s comment.
Refuse to let it be a judgment on you when you don’t even know the person. :heart:

4 Likes

Rants about working moms being shamed while simultaneously shaming stay at home moms. Good job. :+1:t3::roll_eyes:

12 Likes

Only person who’s shamed me is my own self with mom guilt.

All moms get shamed no matter what you do. Your damned if you do and damned if you dont.

I have no idea what you’re talking about so the problem is probably who you’re hanging out with, because most of the modern world doesn’t shame working moms. Just the assholes in your life.

It’s ignorant to judge a sahm or a working mom…I’ve done both…and both are hard.
Why don’t we just support mom’s, period.

10 Likes

Women in general are shamed for everything even by other women it’s gross

9 Likes

Who? I don’t know anyone who shames working moms.

4 Likes

She asked a question and instantly y’all wanted to be offended…. Maybe she didn’t word it right for you but I understood… for the longest time women were told to marry a man that provides for you and your future children… tables have turned many men are the Stay at home dads and sadly the women are getting shammed “why doesn’t he work” “aren’t you tired of having to support a man” yet when the man is the worker he gets praise for doing his job. Then if both parents work shame on them for not spending enough time with their children and having daycares raise them… there is shamming everywhere and many of you just continued the shamming cause she asked a question….

4 Likes

To be honest, I’ve never heard of a working mom shamed, I always see and hear them praised for doing it all

3 Likes

I get shamed for being a sahm. I get left out a lot and exluded. But women shaming in general is a BIG issue!

7 Likes

Its actually the other say around in my experience :angry::confused:

4 Likes

No matter what type of mom you are

Stay at home

Working

Working single mom

This is all we need to here
STOP SHAMING PERIOD.

5 Likes

Doesn’t matter what one does, someone is always going to be negative.

2 Likes

I don’t understand all this shaming we all do things differently my daughter is raising my grandson differently then I did her, at the end of the day as long as there happy and healthy and make it to adulthood then we done a good job period.

What the heck are you on about? If anything people shame stay at home parents more. Be happy you have a family and a job for fucks sake.

Because people are miserable and misery loves company. There are people who just aren’t happy unless they’re complaining about something. If you work, your poor children, without their mother. If you don’t work, your poor spouse, having to support everyone while you do “nothing”. It’s usually other women shaming women. Ignore people. Do what works and what’s best for you and your family!

I don’t believe woman should be shamed for working. It sure is dam hard for a mother that raised her kids to go back to work I stayed at home looking after my kids till they were in grade 1 and then went looking for a job only to be told nope you’ve been out of the job market too long I got a cleaning job.

Mom’s get shamed no matter what…I get shamed for staying home…its no different. We are gonna get shamed regardless of what we choose to do. Obviously you have some kind of issue with sahm but complain about people doing the same…So

3 Likes

I honestly think it’s all about view. This site has changed questions around too. So keep that in mind. As I have submitted them and noticed mine have changed.

I crush my husband $$$ wise and if I play my card right I will double what he makes and I pay everything for my child and myself. He pays for himself and his stuff.

But he’s their for me emotionally and physically and all of that jazz. That’s what matters the most If your a stay at home mom that’s a decision you and your partner make just like working moms. Being a mom is rough reguardless

I think being a mom in general is hard and the comparisons should stop.My step sister always posts memes about single moms are the toughest because they do everything on their own…ok her kids dad left early and they are 16 and 18 but she has had family and babysitters always taking care of her kids so she could work,go to the gym and appointments or get a free weekend while my husband has always been in the home but works 12 hour days and I never left my kids with any babysitter until my oldest was 17 and could watch them for a couple hours AND I have to fit caring for my husband’s needs and disagreements over how to raise kids ect that she doesn’t have as a stress.I think it all evens out and mothering is just hard for both types of moms.

Different people shame different things from ignorance.
I’ve been shamed as a sahm, a single mom, mom having kids b4 marriage and now I’ve felt some about momming in marriage.
It’s human nature to be hateful. Especially out of ignorance. Try to aim those who judge to the right way, vut with some it won’t ever matter.

1 Like

Unfortunately, ALL mamas are shamed for one thing or another. “Why aren’t you working to help support your family?” “You shouldn’t be working! You should be home raising your kids!” We are damned if we do and damned if we don’t. All you can do is your best and know that what you decided is what’s best for YOUR family. Don’t mind what others say, especially if your kids are happy and healthy. :heart:

I have always ignored it. I was a SAHM. Then a working mom. Someone is always unhappy. I figure that’s their problem, not mine.

Why are we shaming moms. Period?

7 Likes

People shame mothers. It doesn’t matter if work, work from home, take care of them 100% etc someone is going to find fault with it. We’re easy targets. We’re stressed as it is. Piling it on weakens us more. They enjoy it.

Because mothers can never do anything right in the eyes of society.

4 Likes

I’m a working single mom of 4. I wish a bishhhh would tell me that. :roll_eyes::rofl:
Cause here thunder and here is lightning :joy::stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye::stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye::rofl::rofl:

4 Likes

I got shamed for working full-time & now I get shamed for being a stay-at-home mom.:roll_eyes:
Someone is always going to have something to say but if they aren’t paying your bills, does their opinion really matter?
NO! Lol

2 Likes

Why do mothers shames mothers is what i want to know? As if raising kids wasn’t hard enough, women are the worst

3 Likes

I wasn’t aware we did? Never heard anyone do this. Now sahms always get shamed.

7 Likes

My husband was by my side because I love him and want him…regardless if I depend on him financially or not, stay home or work outside the home.

4 Likes

I’m a single mom, which means I’m the sole income earner. If I didn’t work, we’d be houseless. If someone has a problem with me working or working as much as I do, they can start paying all my bills, including business expenses, and we’ll see how long that lasts. :upside_down_face:

I get shamed for being a SAHM. People tell me i need to work and bring in my share of the income and pay my half of the bills. But they dont get that it would cost more for daycare than for me to just stay home. I have family telling me all the time that im “stuck” because he has to give me money.

9 Likes

I get shamed no matter what. Working or not. Breast feeding or weaning. Medications or not. No matter what you do as a mom you’re shamed.

6 Likes

Why are we shaming anyone anyways?

Why do we shame stay at home moms?

3 Likes

Lol because no matter what you do people will find a reason to talk about you that’s why :woman_shrugging:t3: unfortunately it just seems to be how it is from my experience you do what someone says you should and when you do they find a new problem :woman_shrugging:t3: therefore everyone should just do what’s best for themselves and their family and ignore everyone else :hugs:

1 Like

Where does all this shaming happen? The only time I hear or see mom shaming is on fb posts. If you feel shamed by strangers making ignorant comments on social media, maybe step away from social media for a bit.

3 Likes

I think a better question is why do you care? They’re not the ones living your life or in charge of it. Their perception of you literally means nothing and should make no difference in your life. Do its best for you, your children, and your family. In that order.

2 Likes

Either way, no one should be shaming mothers, especially other mothers! When I see something I may not agree with, I keep scrolling or walking bc I realize that what works for me may not work for others. We’re all out here doing the best we can. Motherhood is hard enough without judgment

This has pick me vibes lol I have never seen someone shaming a mom for working :joy:

3 Likes

I’ve never heard of shaming working moms. Now SAHMs do all the time. If it works why does it matter to others. Now that my husband is retired he is seeing first hand how “easy” it is being a SAHP.

2 Likes

Who shames working moms? Did I miss something?

I’ve been on both ends and I got shamed. You can’t win.

Wasn’t aware we did? But in my own opinion I think if your in a position to stay home with your child you should for the first 2-3 years, that time is precious and you can’t get it back.

3 Likes

I was a working Mom who freely admits i could never handle being a SAHM. I could never lay my financial safety in anyone elses hands. I am in awe of the people who can but its just not me.

5 Likes

so are you only with your husband because he financially supports you??? Seems to me the people that are getting mad are ppl who are only with their husbands for financial support

2 Likes

Shame mother for working. Come on people they are super women. It’s sad when a woman has to step up and provide for a family but I am proud that I was able to handle both roles. Life would have been much easier if I didn’t have too. I went on 4 hours of sleep or less from the time I had my first child till they all left home. I still work full time. I rather have stayed at home while my kids where young but due to wanting a home and providing for my children instead of taking a governmental handout I worked. No working mother should feel shame as they are power women providing so their kids. Likewise a mother that is able to stay at home and not depend on government hand outs should feel honored. I guess I am kinda old and backward but I wish that we could do things like in the past where there is one breadwinner that protects and provides for the family and then the other parent could stay home and be the nurturer and be in charge of household duties. Be really nice if we lived in the time where one income could support a family

3 Likes

No matter what the hard truth people are gonna mom shame cause they believe how they raised there kids is ideal for everyone else andddd that is not it everyone’s kids are different so we all raise our kids different nobody should mom shame anyways no one is perfect no one ever will be but our kids think we’re perfect and that’s all that matters screw what anyone else says they have no input cause they don’t know the full situation

I wish I could be a s.a.h.m. But I like the different conversations and mental challenges outside the home too.

Working Moms are amazing
They manage to hold down a job
Raise kids and manage the home
Working Moms deserve to be praised

2 Likes

I’ve never seen anyone shame a working mom in 41 years.

3 Likes

Who shames working moms??? Seems like this post is making it sound like their better than stay at home moms. We don’t need to shame ANYONE

2 Likes

I am a working mom, 9-10 hours a day but majority is while my son is at school. And my bf is home from his full time job to hang with the kid while I finish work :slightly_smiling_face:

I think people shame stay at home moms more then they do working moms. In today’s society both parents are expected to work because living expenses are so high.

8 Likes

Look mothers will be shamed for something depending on who you talk to, it’s a people thing.

I rarely see shaming of working moms and i know for sure i never have personally but your shitty ass post implying SAHMs are only in their relationships because they are “dependant” on their spouses is some shaming ass crap right there. How about people make the choices that are best for them and their families and shouldn’t be ashamed for those choices no matter what they are (as long as no one is being abused obvi) and we can show support for people without also shaming those who’s choices are different :woman_shrugging:

Never seen anyone shame a working mom…mom’s are the same as dad’s and 100 percent equally as important in raising a child…mom’s arent superior lol

Who Shames them? Working or not parenting is hard. It’s exhausting and so worth it. Although I sure wouldn’t mind being at home to stay on top of things I know I get my adulting working so there’s that.

I’ve seen so many people shame working moms. I was one of those working moms that was shamed. I was also shamed for working. God forbid I stay home and raise my children. But also god forbid I work to give my child things. No matter what, moms will always be shamed. In the old times, women stayed home and men worked. Things have changed and some are still in the mindset women stay home and husbands work. Some believe the opposite. People are just raised differently, and taught differently. We will never not deal with issues as moms. And it is absolutely crappy. We can never breath correctly because of peoples mindsets. I understand people are raised differently, but dang. We are already struggling whether working or not. We are stressed! Instead of berating us or shaming us. HELP us. But no one will help and it’s a sad reality.

3 Likes

Ive been a stay home mom for 7 years
Was shamed for that
Now that I’m getting a job I’m getting shamed for that too
Ignore the haters and assholes who wanna tell you what’s right for you. You know whats right for you. That’s all that matters.

I never got shamed for working, but I’ve lost count how many times I’ve been shamed for being a stay-at-home mom.

6 Likes

Really? I was aware of this. I was working 12 hour shifts and so was my husband and we trusted no one with our kids so I worked day and get worked nights and the 2 days we got off we spent as a family. Nobody helped us or offered their opinion on how we chose to handle our life. Now I’m home with our kids and hubby is working cause I need a break and it’s not like he can’t handle finances more than comfortably. I used to work 12 hours come home do chores help the kids with school and prepare lunch for the next day then proceed to wake up early the next morning and get the kids ready for school and myself ready for work so when hubby came home he would drop me back to work and come home and get some rest for work that night. We both kick butt at parenting and it makes it even more amazing for us because it was literally us and God.

I think this works both ways. Instead ask why do you shame moms who have different lifestyles than us? And even better, how can we react in such a way that we can stop this and turn it into something positive for both parties?

1 Like

I have tired to teacher my granddaughters, NOT TO EVER DEPEND ON A MAN FOR ANYTHING MOST OF ALL FINANCIALLY. I did depend on a man. now i have very little retirement money. not enough for me to live on my own. I’m stuck.

How about we stop shaming SAHM and working mothers?! We’re all just trying to do what’s best for our family.

I have been shamed for working by a fellow mom, who was actively at her job. I do not understand why people act that way to each other.

I don’t I just couldn’t do it unless I can have my kids there only jobs ive been able to do I just couldn’t commit to a job with my two babies and daycare is soooo expensive but hey good on you to any working moms in the comment its hard it really is just being a working parent period wish all yalls family nothing but the best cant believe yall are being shammed one thing I hate about a lot of parents is how judgmental they can be worse then a vegan who thinks they are saving the world or a hypocritical Christian

I get it all the time. It’s ridiculous. I get the you should be home with your kids or the you really can’t stand your kids that much you have to send them away? Or my favorite so money is more important than your kids. I think all the jobs do for all moms are hard. We should all be supporting each other no matter what we choose or the situations were in.

1 Like