my son is 7 years old he is the oldest of 3. and when I ask him to do anything by himself he literally throws a fit screaming crying saying he dont want to do it. my question is how do I go about making him do things himself? he refuses to bathe himself brush his teeth by himself idk what else to do? i have tried to let go and make him do things him self but he will just sit in the bath and refuse to do it. need advice?
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I told my son his stuff would fall off due to being dirty and same with teeth… once he lost the first tooth he freaked out n brushed daily lol he’s 10 now so I’m in the pre teen needing to bathe side
Either discipline or add incentives
Let him sit there til he bathes himself. Make him stay in the bathroom til he brushes his teeth. Take away privileges and toys. He’s old enough to know better than to act like that.
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girl u betta bathe that baby. parents want kids to be doin the most at 5,6,7 years of being alive. jezuz. let em be kids.
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For the washing tell him he washes first then you will come to help same with brushing the teeth tell him to do it then you will come and check and do it to eventually maybe you can stop but most likely it’s just the time he gets with you if his siblings are younger they prolly get wash washing and all so its maybe a jealousy thing
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Are your younger children complying (given their age of course)? Sounds like he needs discipline or professional help to find out what’s going on with him
While i totally agree 7 is old enough to do those things alone, do you think he sees the time you spend doing it for the younger 2 and not him? Maybe he misses that quality time? Could he take a bath with the other kids?
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Get dad involved to the express what guys do.
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Honestly. I would help him since he’s not listening
You dont say how old the other 2 are, but is there a chance that your son doesnt remember a time of being alone? & so it causes anxiety for him to do things alone now?
My girls are 2 years apart, & neither like to do things alone, never have, & they are 20 & 22 now. But when I ask why, they both said because they have always had their sister by their side while doing things & they dont know any different.
As a Mom, I love that bond & feel secure that if anything happened to me they would totally be there for eachother.
They are still kids, foster that bond, especially at home, taking baths, brushing teeth, bedtime stories, eating together, watching shows, playing games. There WILL come a time when they cant stand eachother & only want their friends & you will wonder what happened to your kids being so close!
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Maybe he misses the one on one time with you since you do have 2 younger ones he is feeling left out… I don’t know if that’s the reason but maybe try setting a side time for just you two… tell him to take his bath and brush his teeth while you are getting the younger ones ready and after you put them down read a book together and ask him about his day I hope this helps
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Give him a set amount of time that each task should take and get an egg timer. If he does each task appropiately and in the amount of time, he gets his favorite privilege (screen time, a tablet, video game) and if he does not, he loses that privilege. Be consistent and hold him accountable, or its useless.
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My 7 year old acts the same way but we just do not let him get away with it. He is expected to shower himself. If he doesn’t do it right (like if we see his hair is still dry it wasn’t washed or if we see he hasn’t touched the soap) he must go do it again right. He was brushing his own teeth the past year and a half too, but now we have taken over that once again since his last dental exam he needed 5 teeth fixed! I’m not willing to let him do his teeth himself and possibly risk losing adult teeth now that he’s getting them. So that one, we just do it. You have to be consistent and he will see he won’t get his way. If he continues to disobey, discipline him how you see fit. But be consistent always. If he does what he is asked, great. If not, discipline. If you decide to go the route with taking things of his away, try it, but don’t give them back unless he does what he is asked. One thing for one display of obedience. And take a new thing away each time he disobeys or pitches a fit. Doesn’t matter how many you’ve already taken, keep taking them. This is how it will work. He must learn he isn’t getting away with his behavior. And he must earn them all back, one by one. Repeat if necessary. Doesn’t even have to be a physical item, can be something like television privileges, snacks, etc.
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To me it sounds like he’s still wanting the closeness and attention he had with you when younger. Just like others have said, because he sees the time you spend helping his siblings. My oldest was 9 when my youngest was born and he did very much revert back to those behaviors, so did my daughter who was 7. Eventually they grew out of it. But in the meantime, I had them to help me care for the youngest. Like getting diapers, helping give bottle, helping bathe, dressing baby, little things. They were involved, still getting time with me, and bonding with new baby. And I did help them bathe too like washing hair and checking to see if they missed spots, but gradually decreased. Key is keep them involved and helping them cope with changes. But if this gets worse, I’d speak to his dr for advice and maybe counseling for a bit.
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discipline on a Constance
My son just turned 8 but when he was seven he always brushes his teeth by himself no issue(sometimes I will go behind him to make sure they are good and clean). He also showers and takes baths by himself no issue ( sometimes I have to make sure his hair is washed good etc.). But he has no issue doing those things on his own. He actually wants to do it on his own to be a big boy. I don’t even have to tell him he just gets up for school and knows to brush his teeth. Your son could definitely do it himself.
Tell him when he starts stinking the kids will make fun of him by calling him stinky if he dont take a bath put bubble bath in his water make bathtine fun even if hes 7
Is the reason he’s acting like this, is because he’s so use to you doing everything for him up till now? If that’s the case, just gradually get him to be independent.
positive reinforcement. i have a mason jar with my daughter’s name on it and for every task she completes she earns a certain number of m&ms. i would also try to go on a solo fun date with him, maybe to the park and for ice cream, without the little ones. He may feel neglected, nit your fault at all, it just happens to the older ones