Why does my 8-year-old have accidents?

My 8 yr old son still poops his pants. Not every single day, but probably every other day. He has been to the doctors, counseling, and a GI specialist and they have just decided it’s due to laziness! I que him to go very frequently throughout the day, it just seems like sometimes he waits to get out of the bathroom, sits on the couch and poops?! I have tried absolutely everything! Punishment, rewards, charts, paying him, EVERYTHING!!! If anyone has dealt with this before, Help me before I go crazy please! :disappointed:

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Is he possibly ADHD? Children with learning disabilities or even mental illnesses can have issues like this. My son does from time to time, simply from being so hyper and not wanting to stop what he is doing.

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I would make him clean himself and his poopy underwear, pants in the sink. Then I would buy him pull ups, or adult diapers if need be and make him wear those. Does it happen when he is at school or in public or just at home.

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A few good ass whipping should do the job. Women grow a pair and be a mom not some door mat.

My nephew does this very exact thing and he’s almost 14 years old and my sister is still trying to figure out how or what to do it so if anyone has any tips for her it would be great!

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My 6 year old did this almost every single day. But just a little at a time. So I bought children’s chewable laxatives. Let’s just say he was pretty backed up… he hasn’t had any accidents since and has been on a pretty good poop schedule every day!

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What kind of human beings are y’all raising where they are allowed to be this lazy for this long? Everybody wants to be a specialist and make excuses… she said the doctor’s even say it’s laziness. 1. Be consistent. 2. Don’t reward bad behaviour, at all. 3. Don’t make excuses for him.

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Let him sit in it a while. Let him clean his own mess up. Then let him clean wherever he was when he pooped. Clorox wipes baby!

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Chronic constipation? Maybe make sure his diet includes foods to ensure it’s not painful to have bowel move ments…??a step stool by toilet so he can plant his feet to push??

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Could also be he has some type of fear or pain when he goes potty

If making him clean up after himself wont stop this you can control
His BMs. Give him
Suppository laxatives or enemas, then put him straight on the toilet and do not let him
Get up until he’s finished. Do this daily until the issue resolves itself. I’ve read this is extremely effective for children who refuse to use the toilet ??

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My 7 year old son does the same thing! He never pees himself but he does poop in his pants several times a week. He says that he can’t feel it but idk. I have an appointment with his doctor already set up.

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A friend of mine had this issue with her son. Turned out he was being sexually abused when visiting his mothers house on weekends. I would certainly be continuing to find out if there is any root cause whether medical or mental. Definitely not normal at this age to still be unable to control bowels.

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Make him clean his own underwear in the sink and himself in the shower of course. Hopefully once he cleans the mess himself, hopefully he won’t want to do it again and he Will use the toilet. Good luck luv

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Try getting him counseling. My son had this problem. It turned out he was being sexually molested by someone, a male, close to the family.

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My grandson used to do this until he was around 3. I was exasperated and asked him WHY he did this. His reply was that he had always done it this way. Yes, I guess he had but there was going to be a new way now. We got through it.

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My grandma used to. Spray my uncle with the water hose outside lmao

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Laziness for sure. My 5 year old tried doing it for awhile. Sometimes he will pee his pants because hes too lazy to go while watching tv or on his tablet. So I take them away for awhile. He hardly ever gets his tablet anymore because that’s when he starts doing it again.

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Make him clean his own clothes by hand…and I know it sounds messed up but I would tell him other kids will make fun of him if they found out.

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I don’t believe that he is lazy. He is getting a reward from it. Has anyone ever ask you about any kind of S abuse. But anyway I had one child they had me take all kinds of dried fruit and chopped it up if no allergy to nuts roll in them we call them cookies. After each meal give him one of the special cookies. Then send him to bathroom seat there for 5 minutes or so practice gunting and pushing gently like he is pooping. When he is home time toilet him every 30 minutes send him in to seat 5 minutes practice gunting and gently pushing. Do his feet touch the floor? If not get him a step. Some children can’t go if their feet don’t touch the floor. Have they tried stool softener. Might be ti strong try Larabar Bar they are Vegan Gluten free fruit and nuts all different flavors. Again no if Nut problem. Helps my daughter when nothing else helps easier if it just slides out with no strain. He may not have all the feelings down there. My daughters were in foster care for years and in 5 different homes and didn’t know what the feeling was. I had to tell them to go even as teenagers. Have you had him tested for any like the one lady said disability like Autism or a doctor trained in SA to see if anyone has. But only have him interviewed by professionals who arw trained if something God forbid happened you do not want to question him yourself because you can mess things up very badly if case come from anything he says. Please don’t be alarmed I believe he is just not ready and for what ever reason with the timed toileting special cookies or Larabar and teaching him how to poop. He will much better in no time. Talk to his Pediatrician maybe about a Behavioral therapist if all else fails. Yet all things are possible with prayer and you be blessed and God guide your steps. Never punish I do the poop dance when they go and don’t go. I also start using kids bathroom and do poop dance when I go. If others in family can join in have them take part. Also we flush and sing send it to septic or sewer man. Make it fun
Stop all that negative stuff. No more putting things up his buttocks until you know. Beside there are so many better ways to get him to go than that. There is also diapers and wipes. You have to quit think he is doing to get back at you. My 19 year old I use to think that and I tried all these things but a change in diet and adding more things to make it easier to slide out. She now goes on her own at home. I also promised her Victoria Secret panties like her older sister for Christmas. I know the two of you can do it. You just need to be positive patient he maybe a long time but it will be on his time.

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Has he has an EEG done? He may have some kind of epilepsy.

Try checking for a dairy allergy

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It sounds bad but my youngest brother was about almost 6, he would get so busy doing whatever he was doing he wouldn’t take the time to come in so one night after dinner my dAd put a regular cloth diaper on him and told him he had to wear it all night and until he could go to the bathroom. Well we all made fun of him, I felt bad for him as he cried and begged all night to take it off but my Dad was firm. You know what thro he never had another accident again. I hope this helps

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"in adult sizes so you should be able to find a size that would fit.

So harsh sure maybe but when ours did it out of laziness took him outside bare butt and sprayed him clean w. Water hose… that was the last time he did it…

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Definitely get a second look. My little brother is 12 years old and had no control over his bowels. He doesn’t know when he had to poop basically and he still struggles today with it. We tried everything we thought it was just oh he never was taught properly or he just did it on purpose.

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Sounds like a good ass whipping is in order

I would whoop his ass!
Granted the fact if it was laziness and not something medical or some kind of trauma.
Sometimes kids become blocked up cause they are lactose intolerant. I would see another doctor.
But if it’s just pure laziness… I would definitely whoop his ass!

My 8 year old grandson has had issues since he was born with pooping. He will literally go weeks without pooping but “sharts” quite often. It hurts him to go obviously if he holds it for weeks. It hurts him because his poop is sooo big he clogs up the toilet when he does go. My daughter gives him miralax and when she is able to get them in him he gets stool softeners. any suggestions from anyone??

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Find a positive solution instead of blame or punishment.
I posted the link to the website I read.
It could be of some help.

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My 11 year old son has the same problem. .bowel incontinence and has loss muscle control dosent feel urge to go… diet has alot to do with it

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Does he have to wash it out?

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If they are sure it is not a medical problem make him clean up and wash those clothes.

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I have read over half of these comments. I do agree with the sexual abuse theory.
But most of all it absolutely flabbergasted me reading these and seeing the amount of contradictions to methods suggested. I think I’ve laughed more at those than anything.
THAT IS WHATS WRONG WITH TODAYS YOUTH and they’re going to take over SOON guys. There is an excuse for EVERYTHING on here. :woman_facepalming:t2:

Pray for this child don’t beat them :pray:

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Build him an outhouse and make him go outside. He wants to act like an animal, I can help with that :roll_eyes:

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Who cleans everything afterwards?

Okay if Dr say he’s not sick and he seriously be is just shitting his pants just to be shitting his pants not the most ethical approach but whoop his ass while he still shitty and make fun of his ass for shitting his pants do him like his friends would if he done it at school gossip with others ( people who know he does it don’t just go telling a stranger on the street) and down right embarrass that kid he’ll stop again like I said not the most ethical approach but if everything else you tried ain’t worked it may work to try that

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Stop… he will learn especially when other kids pass comment… he knows you get upset so my advice is don’t be …but insist he cleans up his own mess…

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I’ve never heard of an 8?year old doing this. You need to see more doctors.

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I would start by telling him I’m gonna tell all his friends at school he poops his pants.

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If it’s been determined by a dr that there isn’t a medical issue, this child should definitely be cleaning up his own messes.

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sounds like he has constipation and colon stretches out and he having some softer bowels seeping around harder stool. my son had this. if they are constipated often enough they learn to hold poo and will stretch out colon and gave bowel seepage.

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My brother was like this. Same thing. Die to laziness. Unfortunately he just grew out of it. And we tried everything. Yelling, punishments of all sort, compassion, taking things away. He grew out of it around 12

Diapers. I hate poopy pants!

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My 5 year old has issues with this, and he has constipation issues. With constipation, there is added pressure to the colon and rectum, making it harder to hold stool when he has to go.

I would get a second opinion from a different doctor before starting to discipline.
Also, nicely let him know not to wait to head to the bathroom when he feels the urge to go. Stress to him to stop whatever he is doing, and go straight to the bathroom.

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I agree with the above comments of constipation. If he is having a hard time going it could lead to this. He may not even realize that is the cause himself.

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My son would be videogaming…think it was gas…and oops…he would be so embarrassed he would hide his unders behind furnature, under bed, behind toilet. I was buying a new pack of 8 a week at Walmart. Now he is fine…seemed stress related to court ordered visits with his father

Theres gotta be more to it then being lazy cmon now

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Following my 7 year old son does the same thing

I would make him clean up his own underwear and wash them.by hand bc he needs to know what you need to do to get them clean

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Maybe a watch with alarms set to prompt him and make him clean up after himself. While it is likely laziness it is also control.

Put him in a diaper even when he goes to school

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My niece has an issue with this. It started as control & laziness & now that she is 13, she actually has an issue & has to take meds & retrain her body & muscles.
Make him wash his own stuff when he does it. Make him aware that as he gets older & things change physically & in life, that people will notice, make fun of him & he could set himself up for a tough school & social life. It could have to do with his diet too. I would go see other Drs & male sure its just pure laziness & not anything else tho.

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I pooped my pants until I was 13. I was being sexual molested and couldn’t tell anyone. Find the reason for the behavior. There is always a reason.

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If he’s playing video games or something most likely it’s because he’s to distracted and dosent want to leave the game . I have dealt with that situation before but if it’s not games I have no idea . Put a diaper on him or a pull up if he has no medical condition for it I’m sure in a week’s time of wearing a diaper he will stop.

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Had this issue with my oldest. We started giving him more fiber filled foods and sending him to the bathroom 30 minutes after he ate. He hasn’t done it since.

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We have this issue with my 7 yo step son!!! We’ve also tried everything, my husband and his ex wife are talking pullups for.him and i make him clean it

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No electronics/tv…rewards and positive/negative reinforcements, sit and have a long convo with him - even young kids can understand situations and should always be spoken to about issues they are having. An 8 year old is far more than intelligent enough to KNOW they need to use the toilet. Make him completely clean up after himself. Keep him on a schedule not just with toileting but with daily activities.

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If it hasn’t already been suggested, read Steven Hodges’ book “It’s No Accident.” There’s also a FB group I think. Stop punishing. Start collaborating. Talk with him about how he feels, how his body feels, how can you both help him. How does this make him feel when it happens - i.e. shame or is he unconcerned. Second opinion with pediatric GI. Follow up with counseling once all medical indications are ruled out. There must be a reason and if it isn’t medical/physical, please carefully and gently make sure it isn’t sexual abuse. Hugs to you, mama.

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I HIGHLY doubt he is just being lazy. There is almost always a underlying issue. Two doctor’s told my mom I was just being lazy, the third found out that I have Crohn’s disease. Please seek a second opinion before doing some of the things that have been suggested.

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Sometimes Doctors don’t know everything. My brother had that issue and my mother was told that it’s caused from emotional issues. In time he outgrow it but sometimes the brain don’t tell them until it’s to late.

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He could also start wearing diapers to school. Maybe it’ll convince him to get his ass on the toilet. At 8, with no medical reasoning behind it, this is just not ok.

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Who dod that greta i will kill em

My daughter did the same. It turned out she had fissures, little tears inside her butt. The doctor who found them got her medication to heal them and she never had an accident again.

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Does he clean up his own mess?

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Don’t let him watch tv, at all. No electronics.

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There’s always an underlying issues in regards to accidents this way. My son had / still had encopresis which is extreme constipation with anal leakage and blockages. It’s very painful and he had to have surgery to repair his colon.

Some kids fear going out of pain sitting on the toilet and will make themselves comfortable and go when their body is relaxed. The leakage is due to the fluid passing over the huge boulders and it’s uncontrollable :pensive: it’s disgusting and a huge issue to deal with.

Get an ultrasound of his belly to check for constipation and try to get some meds. My son had to wear pull ups under his undies and had to wash and clean all his undies too. I was more understanding that it was a real medical condition but man oh man it was nasty to deal with :crazy_face:

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Well this has never happened to me I would just ignore him you punishing him or rewarding him is getting the tension I would spend more time with him when I’m gone and not knowledge the issue and see what happens

My sister had this issues with her 9/10 year old a while back , she’s now 12 and or of it… It’s the nastiest stuff ever cause it was out of being lazy and not wanting to get up, after a few good ass whooping and feeling nasty I guess that made her think twice.

Kids that age who do that ALWAYS have an underlying emotional issue as I’m sure the counselor told you.

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This is my post. He has gone to 3 doctors about this. Specialist, and counseling. He does it at h ok me only. It started at about 4 after I had my second and shortly after that I went through a divorce. I figured it was psychological or he wasn’t getting the one kn one attention he was used to. So that’s when I started counseling and they did a couple sessions and told me he was fine. They checked him for back up, there is none. And now he is just very comfortable sitting in his own poo. I am telling you it is not a health issue. Its something else. Now 4 years later we have a very blended family. He has a great father figure and has just become used to it. He cleans himself in a shower after every time. But I have read a few things on here that I am going to try. I’m desperate. Thanks for all your help :heart:

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Make him clean up himself and hand wash his soiled clothing

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Everytime he poops his pants make him take them off and wash them. Not in the machine either. Make him dump the poop out and wash them out by hand!

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Find what he absolutely loves more than anything else and take it, prevent it, until he isn’t doing it anymore.

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I’m thinking…make HIM clean up after himself…believe he would NOT want to deal with what you have been doing. May take a few days (or stinky poop pants lying around)…just put all that stuff in his bedroom. Stay strong, Mom

A good ass whippn will fix your so called problem

I can’t believe some of these comments he’s a child for god’s sake find out what’s bothering him I’m sure there is something behind this behaviour

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Does this only occur at home only or at school too? I agree with others in having him clean up after himself; 8 is old enough to assume chores and he should see this as an unnecessary chore. Sending you support!

Please no offense meant, but maybe a visit to a child psychologist?

I think the doctors are missing something…or a emotional problem after your other child was born…

I had a cousin who did that and he grew out of it once he decided he liked girls.

Look into Tethered SPINAL Cord. It can cause loss of bladder and or bowel sensation and losing control of ones bowels due to lack of sensation is a common side effect. Tethered Spinal Cords cannot be seen and often are misdiagnosed unless you go to a neurologist who has a lot of experience with Tethered Spinal Cords. Standard MRI’S, ultra sounds, xrays and ct scans TYPICALLY miss TSC so a Cine view MRI is better for accurate diagnosis. Often the child could also have a syringomylea and even Spina Biffida Occulta the mildest for of spina biffida and not visible to the naked eye. GOOD Luck

My son had this problem as well and like you I took him to every Dr. Out there but when he stopped doing this was when I said enough is enough we could not go anywhere or do anything I made him wash his underwear out his self in the toilet and made him clean his self up it stopped

I’d seriously try a better psychologist. My daughter had this issue and she had been sexually abused by her own father. It seems to me you’re dealing with an emotional issue.

I’m a dad, and one of my boys had the same trouble. Bananas are blockers and help. I put them in his lunch all the time. Also ginger tea at breakfast, but you usually have to put honey in it or they won’t drink it. Caliciun

I have the same exact issue with my 8 year old daughter…they say it’s a laziness…we tried medication counseling an went to GI doctor an not no one health concern