I’ve been thinking about posting this and wondering how to word it for a while now. What do you do for an almost eight-year-old who still has poop accidents (he pees in the toilet just fine) but at least once a day, he will poop his pants? Not only that, but he will sit in it. Like if a school or I don’t notice right away, he will just continue to wear his poopy clothes. We’ve taken him to the Dr’s. They just say he’s constipated and will give him a laxative that creates a mess I don’t even want to talk about. I’ve tried punishments (which I’ve heard punishing a child for pooping his pants don’t help but didn’t know what else to do), I’ve tried rewards, I’ve tried having him sit on the potty every 20 or so minutes, but after like 3-4 rounds of that he will just crap his pants right after getting off the toilet. He claims he likes smelling like poop and doesn’t know/ doesn’t care that it’s nasty, disgusting, or gross. Though I know, I’ve explained to him many times that not only is pooping his pants is yucky but just sitting in it and not getting clean clothes are nasty but could also make him sick (maybe it won’t idk, but I can’t imagine sitting in your feces all day does anything good) I’m at a loss as to what to do to help him and am so frustrated. Please help if you can.
Switch to adult diapers for him. At least it isn’t on his clothes. And hope he grows out of it.
This sounds like a psychological issue at this point. I think you should get him in counseling to see if he has experienced some kind of trauma you aren’t aware of. Good luck.
My son stopped doing this when I would make him clean the poop out of his pants himself
He needs to be seen by a good Neurosurgeon Specialist that can look at all the possible medical issues…
MRI that looks from head to tailbone: Tethered cord? Gastroparesis? Problem in abdomen? To mention a few
Sounds just like constipation. He will have leakage around the blockage. Which he can’t tell he is doing. Until you get the constipation under control it will keep happening. 2 of my 3 kids have/had this. Until they are old enough to understand the way your body works it’s harder for them. Talk to the doctor more about a daily med to help him have regular bowl movements. Once he isn’t backed up any longer and STAYS that way it will stop until then it will keep happening. Good luck.
Mama I feel your pain my ADHD son is almost 9 and still does it 🤦 I’ve tried everything. Counseling didn’t work either.
Make him clean up the poop himself and make him wear adult diapers, especially to school. It’s sad but might take a bit of embarrassment to make him stop
Make him clean it, hell realize how icky it is
My 9 yr old was doing this. He was severely constipated. We have been doing miralax twice a day for about 2-3 months and he hasn’t had an accident in sometime. It’s called bowel leakage. Please do not punish him he can not help it. Get him into see a specialist a GI. My soon was so bad that he didn’t poop for 2 weeks he had to have an enema. We got him into a specialist who recommended the miralax twice daily and it has done wonders. Don’t feel bad for punishing we did the same thing. We tried the rewards and everything too.
One of my nephews use to poop his pants when he got mad.
My 8 year old son is going through the same thing. I let him hear your question because I wanted him to know he’s not alone with trying to figure things out. Daniel days, “don’t tell or get any at them. Just love them.”
Now, I have googled everything I could. Talked to doctors. The only thing that has helped him was: 1, his diet. And 2, we jave him try in the morning, afternoon, and night. He has been told to listen to his body. If he thinks he needs to pass gas, do it in the bathroom. In case its something else.
Just hang in there. I know its frustrating. I see what some of the other moms are saying on here. Make him clean it up. Diapers. All that. Trust me. I have tried those. It just makes your child feel so low and not understood. Don’t do those things.
My son is 7 and currently doing this. He doesn’t full blown have accidents but he “sharts”. I got worried and ended up taking him to the doctor, he had an X-ray of his tummy done and he is very constipated… not to the point where he doesn’t go, he just doesn’t go all the way, causing some of the stool to come out during the day/night. She told us to give him miralax at night and let him sit on the toilet 10 minutes before bed to make sure he is going, I’ve been doing it for a week and it’s seemed to be helping a lot.
So all these constipation post obviously our kids diets are jacked up that’s the issue in the first place. Everything we eat is garbage
Sounds like hes too lazy or he like being gross
Therapy and remove electronics until some positive change happens. Bowel issues are one thing… “Enjoying” it is a whole other ballgame and a therapist/doctor should be able to assist further.
Your child needs a psychologist
Could he possibly be on the spectrum? I would set up with a neurologist to rule that out, and then set up with a child psychologist, to see if it goes deeper than just soiling his pants.
My son is 6 almost 7 and he was doing this, he was so backed up, that the laxitive we were told to give him, was an adult dose, and a lot of time he wouldn’t even really notice it slipped out. It wasn’t until we saw a paediatrician who gave us a plan on how to help him manage it and get him to go on his own it stopped. My son was just scared to go because it would hurt so bad from being so backed up that’s what caused his issues. Try seeing another doctor.
My son did this when he was 6/7 and we started him on a powder called kristalose and got him regulated and it stopped it almost completely. Every once in a while he will have an accident but it’s never bad!
I would start by making him clean it up. I would also check to see if maybe he has ADHD/ADD I know when we had two of our kids evaluated they said that kids having accidents is one sign of ADHD. Our daughter is 11 and has accidents at night and would lay there and sleep in her own mess and it didn’t bother her at all. She would even lie about having an accident and keep sleeping in her mess every night if we didn’t check daily and make her clean it up and change her bedding. She admitted she would wake up and know she was having an accident or would lay there and have an accident and go back to sleep in her mess. We just started her on meds and she has stopped having accidents since being on meds. Not saying that is the case with your son, but just wanted to mention what we were told by our pediatrician and it seems to be accurate for our daughter.
My Nephew is 7 and has Autism…He is like this too…Are there anymore issues with your son that could be Autism traits…Worth reading up on it to see if anything makes sense…
I read all of these comments. Try an alternative, he might think of that as a sensory sensation that fulfills him. Others may not understand why but at least your asking questions and trying to get answers if you need to speak with a phycologist about alternatives to subside his want to feel that.
Have him checked for allergies, a friends child was lactose and they didn’t know at the time, he would have 1-2 accidents a day, turned out he was lactose intolerant. Either way, start with his ped and go from there
Google Asperger’s syndrome.
I have 2 boys on the spectrum. 1 potty trained almost overnight. The other, we still have challenges with. He will be 10 in August.
When I brought my concerns to the pediatrician and the developmental pediatrician they both explained that it’s much more common than we know. Which made me feel a lot better…
I worked in ABA for a while. In any potty training scenario, we used both heavy reinforcement and a timing system. Start with a 20 minute- if he has an accident, walk him to the spot of the accident and then to the toilet, 5xs while explaining this is the appropriate place.
When he does go in the right place, immediately reinforce with something big that he doesn’t get often! Keep it going until you can increase the incremental time.
Keep in mind there are 4 functions of behavior-
- Attention 2. Escape 3. Access to a tangible 4. Automatic (sensory fueled)
If you can, asses what is happening around him before the accidents occur. This can help you figure out the why…
This is, of course, after any medical issues are addressed and is deemed as behavioral.
Raising kiddos is tough business. No 2 kiddos are the same. I wish you the best! Feel free to message me at any time you’re doing great!
Please don’t punish him. It’s not a choice for all children. It’s not even about being lazy.
Sounds like he has a GI issue. An unhealthy gut, which needs to be regulated. Yes, Dr.s will prescribe Miralax or Lactulose.
One parent to another, I would suggest you get him pre and probiotics, to regulate his gut health.
We have used this. It works wonderfully for us, and others who asked about the same issues your mentioning. Do your own research and select what’s right for your child. Talk to his pediatrician.
Best wishes to you and your son.
Sometimes kids would rather play…It’s usually a phase and will go away. I know several kids that did this,and they grew out of it.
Try giving him a tablespoon of honey with lukewarm water first thing in the morning. If he doesn’t like honey then lukewarm water will do. Try for a few days. It works wonders for severe constipation. Try it. It’s in my family from ages.
My son did this son I asked his doctor about it and was told sometimes kids sleep to sound and the bladder doesn’t notify the brain in time.He was put on a medication that he took for around 2 months and never had another accident.I wish I could be more helpful but I can not for the life of me remember what that medication was called.
I dont know for sure, but I just wonder, could it be an anxiety issue?
Any chance poster can private message me.
I have no advice but I’m so sorry, I can only imagine how frustrated you are.
The child may have encopresis and not feel the urge to go and may also feel unable to go when forced to go for fear of the consequences if he can. Maybe have him on a toileting schedule and make sure he has plenty of water and fiber and stool softeners. The toileting you should probably have him go every hour just to see.
When a kid gets too constipated things down there get stretched and poo from behind the hard constipated poo leaks out without the kid even knowing.
You need to listen to your doctor and leave him on laxatives until it resolves and probably stool softener for even longer.
If not you will end up causing him lifelong problems
When you ask him why what does he say?
Sometimes children his age are just that lazy about it. I know a person’s child who legit just doesn’t want to stop doing anything to go to the bathroom because they straight don’t care. They’ve done therapy and all that to find a root cause. Maybe counseling.
Have you ask him if anyone has sexually abused him?
For one I don’t think he does it on keep us so no punishing please might be anxiety or something else going on with him
Went thru this with my step son. He done it especially when he didn’t get his way. They said he was constipated and all they stuff. I think it was emotional problems. He will eventually out grow it
Sitting in it can definitely hurt him, sitting in feces can make his bottom very sore and can cause an infection if it gets into his penis from him sitting in it. My son is 4 and he has accidents as well,he also has constipation as well as a bowel blockage and a bowel prolapse so he will not even realize until after it happens and it is liquid stool that leaks out(due to the blockage) He will not say anything either because he becomes extremely embarrassed about it Please do not punish him…it does not sound like this is caused by behavioral issues there could be something more going on. You mentioned he has constipation, do you think that is a factor contributing to this? There could be a medical reason or a physiological reason. I would have a second opinion and if there is no physical medical explanation I would maybe consult with a physiologist , I have never heard of a child saying they enjoy sitting in their poop and enjoy the smell of it I’m wondering if maybe he is saying that because there is something else going on that he doesn’t understand nor know how to explain? Hugs mama I know this must be hard!
My son did this he has ASD (Autism spectrum disorder) used to be known as Asbergers. once we knew everything improved for my son. xx
Encopresis maybe? Defintion: A condition in which a child resists having bowel movements, causing impacted stool to collect in the colon and rectum and lead to leakage.
Its quite common and I’ve been told kids eventually just grow out of it.
Maybe try counseling
How sad for you and your son.
My son did this as well. Some boys just take longer to get it unfortunately. Your son may also have anxiety. Have you talked to his doctor?
My younger brother did it till almost 10 , and it was just him not wanting to stop playing and having to come inside , or he felt like he was gonna miss out on somthing. He started to make friends and he got embarrassed and stopped .
an 8 year old is more than capable of cleaning up the mess, and dumping the poop in the toilet, then using the washer and dryer. I wouldn’t think twice of just letting him suffer the consequences of his actions—regardless of whether or not it’s his fault. Poop my pants? I have to clean it up. I promise you, I make it to the bathroom.
I went through this as well, even after a complete potty training it’s frustrating Mama hang in there we had ours wear depends or pull up until he was uncomfortable with them. I do notice giving a wet wipe helps too!
I would say at that age he knows better. I would make him clean himself up and wash the dirty pants everytime.
My nephew was doing this for years maybe until 10?. He was very constipated as a baby and pretty much right through and would scream every poop,so he had alot of anxieties about it from the beginning and ended up in hospital a few times as he was so blocked up and laxatives couldn’t fix it. They actually put it down to no nerve endings. Apparently he couldn’t feel it coming??I think they put him on some sort of meds and It improved and he eventually stopped.
It could be faecal incontinence, over active bowels, Encopresis, he also could just be being lazy! Hopefully he grows out of it. I would maybe try changing his eating habits and see if that helps, try to set a time and make sure he tries to go every few hours. They have a diaper called good night, that could be an option so if he did have some type of accident- it wouldn’t be in his pants!
First of all Mama, don’t get down on yourself for any of the decisions you have made this far or any avenues you have taken that have failed. Of course getting on to them when you don’t know what else to do is an automatic reaction. I had a step son one time that did that. He was almost 14 at the time and had been doing it for years! He had lived with his mom solely and she was apparently lazy and worthless (not sorry) and he was just like her. He was severely like almost 200 pounds overweight and had some major issues. We saw dr after dr and psych and counselor and specialist after specialist and truth was that he was in fact just lazy. He would poop or pee in the bed and just lay in it all night, every single time I got his clothes to wash or went to clean his bathroom there was poop everywhere, even smeared on my walls! He thought it was funny to make me clean it up and he was old enough to know better. I threatened to stop cleaning up after him and make him do it but he would make an ever bigger mess on purpose when he was “cleaning up”. He had it good at our house, esp verses the shit hole he came from but he was a brat! He pretended to have issues and it was all just mostly laziness, he didn’t want better or even want to try. He wouldn’t wear diapers he would just poop all over himself, his bed and my house. I get it, it’s exhausting, mentally and physically draining and sometimes you just don’t know what to do. I am sending positive vibes your way just for a clear understanding of what the issues are and a hope for it to get better. It is in fact one of the more difficult things I have ever dealt with in my adult and parenting life.
My brother was bad about this and the thing that finally stopped it- my mom made him hand wash his own soiled clothes. It didn’t take long before he started using the toilet
My sister had constipation when she was younger it went untreated and she lost the use of her muscles in her her backside so didn’t know she was pooping herself. She’s a grown adult now and still has to use laxatives
Don’t give laxative unless needed. Body gets used to laxatives and he won’t be able to have a bowel movement on his own. Have him eat lots of fruit and vegetables
Does he know it can make him sick and cause rashes? Maybe just knowing it’s yucky isn’t enough incentive? I’m wondering if he may need tonsee a different doctor or a counselor? Just to try and get to the bottom of it. Maybe he’s not sure why either.
I mean this could be literally anything. My son is 6 almost 7 and still does it in his pants sometimes. We’ve started making it a regular thing where he HAS to go poo every morning. We dont give him a choice and we make him show us as he was lying saying he went but didnt and was having several accidents at school.
We also found out that it hurts him to go poo and talking with a doctor they recommended giving him a stool softener daily and making sure he poo’s daily as his colon is enlarged so his poo is huge which is why it hurts. He doesnt have accidents anymore as long as we remind him to poo in the morning. I wouldnt punish him as it’s not encouraging him to use the toilet, it just encourages him to hide it from you.
Honestly enforcing the morning poo has been a life changer for us and him as it was awful dealing with poopy underwear/pants on the regular especially when they are at school.
I have a 6yr old the same and I feel the frustration. What has sort of worked for us a calander and stamp if he poos in the toilet he gets a stamp ( I do have to see it and he puts the stamp on the calander) if he poos his pants he gets a cross he loves seeing how many stamps he can get in a row also the big reward after he goes the jumping around the house big high 5s it makes him feel proud and wants to do it again. I found with my son the best time for him to try is half way through a bath at night. I think its because his body is relaxed in the bath seems to make it easier.
All I can say is good luck and deep breaths and keep
Sounds just like encopresis my 9 Yr old lad suffers so bad with this and he’s the same constant soiling even if he does do it in the loo he still has leakages and he has no idea it’s there until I notice the smell or he physically can see it in his underwear ask to be referred to bowel and bladder clinic xx
Ahe has now gotten to the point where she wont even come down stairs to go she will lit piss on the floor and go back to doing what she is doing
I had to put a camera in her room so I can know when she does it so i can clean it as soon as possible
But im at my wits ends
She has a psychiatrist and does counseling in private and does in school counseling
She doesnt care about her hygiene at all and its a fight to get her to do any of it
My son did the same thing he is 10 year old he stop doing it at 8 year old as the Dr put him on ADHD medication and he just stop and no my son dose not have ADHD
Maybe try therapy , there could be something wrong cognitively that you don’t know about. Or mentally he’s not doing well with this pandemic. It could be so many things that are causing this
My son has the same problem. Our doctor suggested we put him back on a potty training schedule and track his poop. When he’s really constipated we give him juice with Mira lax in it, per his doctor. If we make sure he goes every night he doesn’t have any accidents at all. He has to prove he did his business and my husband and myself check the toilet and he gets an extra story or video game time when he goes.
My eight year old does this and he finally said the toilet has germs. I said yes basically everything has germs and he can wear gloves and wipe down with a sanitizing wipe after each use
I make him clean himself up but he has not changed his behavior, I’ve mentioned how it could make him sick, it stinks and is gross
Make sure he gets lots of fiber. I give my kids the Fiber gummies. Also stay away from constipating foods. In the morning set some time aside for him to sit on the potty even if he feels he doesn’t need to but to establish a routine. Best of luck.
Encropesis my daughter did the same thing! It’s terrible! They hold there poop in and end up having a stretched out colon! Please look it up otherwise he will keep popping He doesn’t know he does it because he is so packed and it’s an overflow poop!look it up
My child started this when we started school at 5 it was like we were going backwards in the potty training! Same thing he was diagnosed with encopresis and had a blockage so bad they sent him to a children’s hospital and had to have ng tube placed down his nose with meds to break up the blockage! He still to this day at 11 takes miralax at least every other day and will have sudden breakthrough accidents occasionally!! His colon is stretched to each pelvic bone and has not returned to normal size! A lot of doctors I have spoken too thinks it’s the food in our food industry now! And please do not allow children to eat ramen noodles they have proven it takes 4 days to digest and my child was eating them as a snack regularly and that contributed to his blockage!
Talk to your ped.about seeing a GI doc my daughter has poop issues she is working on 6 and we see a gi constipation will and does .are the. Poop their pants
Sometimes you just have to be mean.
Start calling him smelly or yucky when he does it in he’s pants. Make him clean he’s clothes; he has to rinse and wash them he’s self. Do time outs (1 Minute for how old he is so he should be in time out for 8 minutes).
Be tough on him.
Talk to a therapist and have him talk to one sounds like a weird phase. I hope
Maybe he has fecal incontinence
What does he say when you talk to him about it ?
Definitely agree its Encropesis. my daughter had it bad. Did every test we could think of. Started when she was potty training. Don’t listen to the one telling you to put your child in time out or call him names🤦♀️ It will make it worse one the child. Try miralax to make him more constant.
I was going to say perhaps it has to do with his sphincter until you said he likes smelling poop. I personally would take him to see a psychologist just in case there’s something else going on.
It might not be a potty training issue.
Either diet or internal gut stuff
So he is doing it on purpose and he likes it. My step son did the same thing. And he also liked the attention he got for it. Luckily he quit doing it in elementary school because other children were not accepting of this behavior.
It kinda can hurt him even though he’s 8 he can still get a rash and that is uncomfortable for anyone. Tell him that to start. Then make him wear diapers adult diapers, tell him if he wants to poop his pants like a baby he wear a diaper like one. Or figure out what time of day he usually has a bowel movement and keep him on the toilet until he passes it.
Definitely needs a psych eval. Something is definitely going on. That is not at all normal.
*I’ve worked with 100’s of 8-10 year olds.
My son had encopresis, maybe check into it. I thought he was going on purpose but his dr says his rectum was like a shock once the top gets worn and stretched. He says it is chinstrap and what’s coming out was falling out and he didn’t know. I says how does he not smell it and he says if you live in a pig farm do you notice the smell. If you VISIT a pig farm do you? He was used to it, People weren’t, that’s why I could tell when he couldn’t. Thankfully we made a plan and it took a LOT of patience, working with him, stool softeners, and learning but he finally stopped.
My granddaughter had an issue like this…she didn’t fully poop her pants but had poop in her pants,she would even hide her poopie undies…she got constipated alot…she took fiber pills,miralax etc…nothing really helped…then her mom put her on a dairy free diet and she hasn’t had any problems since…hope you find help for your little man soon
See a GI Dr. The Miralax alone don’t do it you need laxative to help push it out as bowel has stopped working properly. Just because they go daily or have diarrhea they can still be very constipated.
Can be a sign of abuse sometimes. If he ever stays with anyone but you then I think that should stop immediately and he needs to see a psychologist so you can get to the root of the problem
Well, it’s a battle I know.
In our case, we found it it went beyond poop. It was actually a stress response.
When he felt out of control in his life, he took control of what he could- many times it involved bathroom issues. It was the 1 solitary thing he had absolute control over…something to consider.
Encopresis is a real disease. Research it and call your pediatrician or a pediatric G I Dr. 2 of my sons and a grandson had it. A good friend is struggling through it with her 6 year old daughter. It gets better. No punishment. Your child can’t control it themself.
Get him a psychologist or specialist is mental health etc.
It sounds weird, but ive been told if your kiddo has a specific chiropractic issue it can cause accidents against their will. Usually a trip to the pediatric chiropractor can fix it and there isnt always symptoms to let you know it needs done. Could be a stress issue, also as hard as this might be to consider, is someone secretly sexually abusing him? That could trigger it. If he is being bullied or abused somewhere
With him saying he likes smelling it I would definitely take him to a child psychologist. Maybe there is a another issue that is causing this behavior.
You need to get back in touch with the doctor there are several medical and psychological reasons why this could be happening and they have incontinence teams that they can refer you to that will help get to the bottom of it and advise accordingly the best course of action x
Does he have a younger sibling? Like a baby? He could be doing it to get your attention if that were the case. But if he’s an only child then I’d try the pediatrician route and see if it’s a medical issue. Good luck! Hang in there Mom you got this!!!
Sounds like encopresis
Have you tried having him clean up his own mess ?? After bath, have him hand wash his clothes, hang outside, clean up sink and tub. Even mop or clean where he was sitting in it. Maybe if it takes up a lot of his time cleaning up, it won’t be as appealing. ???
You need to take to a dr that knows about encopresis
Make him help u clean it. Show him how gross it is
My son does this cuz he gets to busy or hes lazy( his words) and he also has social anxiety so i think hes scared to go in public or around different people