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QUESTION:
"So im a 33 yo single mom of 2 kids been with a guy for almost 2.5 years now and he still hasn't popped the question. been some shady actions early on in our relationship but nothing came of it he says he loves me and wants to be with me we have the ring and everything. I gave him a dead line as I. sick of wasting time with someone with empty promises and not actually going to do what they say they are... advise please"
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"I would sit down and see where he’s at with all this. I understand wanting to be with someone who’s serious about getting married, but maybe he wants more time. 2.5 years isn’t very long honestly, I know people who have wanted to date for at least 4 years before getting engaged."
"If you have to give a dead line that’s a big red flag already."
"I mean… Ive been with my man for almost 7 years and we have kids together and we arent married."
"2.5 years isnt that long to be together. He will ask you when he is ready to. If I was him me and you wouldnt be together anymore after you gave me a deadline on how long I have to ask you to marry me."
"Took 7 years for my man, and I was good with that. If you have to give an ultimatium in regards to marriage, he probably isnt for you. To me a healthy relationship is more important than marriage."
"Ultimatums are never a good idea and marriage isn’t a miracle answer for your problems. If you’re having problems now , they will continue on in marriage…"
"Personally I think marriage is overrated, signing that piece of paper - that’s all it is. A relationship is what you want, a healthy relationship, buy your own ring and wear it. Seriously, I’m not sounding nasty and I am not bitter. If I knew then what I knew now - I would never have signed papers"
"2.5 years really isn’t that long, he has brought the ring that’s pretty significant, I didn’t get engaged until 6 years in and 2 kids"
"My husband and I first got together at 13/14. We didn’t get married till we were 30, after being engaged for a couple years. I know him inside out, we pretty much can finish each others sentences at this point. You build an understanding of one another as time passes. 2.5 years is not long enough to know whether or not you choose them for life. It’ll happen in time. If you whole heartedly choose him as your life partner & love him entirely, waiting for him to be ready instead of forcing him into it slapping a ring on it is your best bet. A ring that harbors resentment is bad for business."
"My husband proposed after 6 months. I was in no rush - he would have got married immediately. I finally set a date after 12 years together - 3 kids. A ring and marriage isn’t the be all and end all of a relationship."
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