May I ask another question? Is anybody else’s husband very distant after work? He will lean away if I try to cuddle up to him and doesn’t talk much. Do your husbands need to unwind or relax after work before dealing with you and your children?
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Mine does. I usually just give him his dinner, let him shower, and chill out for a few. Once i come to bed, he cuddles.
I’m man trys doing that to me after work. Let me unwind get rid of work stress. Breath change mind frame. Then I can focous on him.
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Having a couple of minutes to adjust to being home is completely normal and actually a very good thing .
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Yes. Let him unwind. Everyone deserves that
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Mine ignores me at anytime of day
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He and I have a deal. I give him space, a hot dinner and time to chill. But he does have to give me a quick hug and a kiss when he gets home. We both work tons of hours and unfortunately that little hug and a kiss is all the affection I get most days. So he isn’t going to be allowed to skip it or sometimes I can go weeks without even getting any attention.
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Nope. My husband will immediately pick up our son and love on him and then our dog. He’ll give me a kiss and a hug and then relax, unless we’re eating dinner.
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I dont want to be messed with when I come home from work
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Yes, my husband needs time to decompress after work.
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Yes and no. I get told hi, kiddo gets a hug and kiss and he relaxes on the couch for 10 to 15 minutes.
After working all day he deserves that much.
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Mine comes home, kisses me and the kids, goes to the bathroom and does his business-hops in the shower, gets his plate from dinner (he usually isn’t here when we eat) and get on the game. I get the kids in bed and go to bed. 
In my case, hubby stays home. I get home, I want to relax and sit down. He talks and talks, then decides we have to go out for a ride, etc… geez 
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Reading these comments just breaks my heart. I lived that for 14 years. He would come in from work, ignore me and the kids, sit down and talk to random females on his phone until he went to bed. I finally said “that’s enough” and kicked him out. I now have a guy that works 60 hours a week and devotes the rest of his time to me and my kids. There is no “I’m too tired for you”. He’d never do that to me. I’m blessed and I wish all of you were also. Maybe someday, you will be. I will pray for each of you that you find that your self worth does not include someone who treats you like you are an inconvenience. God bless and best wishes.
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What’s wrong with him?? One guess?
Mine plays videogames usually until dinner time
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I’m sometimes like this from just being over stimulated. Sometimes a simple touch will agitate me if my brain is on overload. I don’t do it being mean, just over stimulated
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If he doesnt warm up, oh dear:roll_eyes:
No, my sweetie leaves it at work…home is his refuge…we do not discuss work at home…his home is his haven from work… he comes home and from the instant he walks through the door he is loves and cuddles with us…he is so happy to see us…but he is a police officer and a drill instructor…so nothing is guaranteed for them. Everyday they put their lives on the line. So he is happy when he walks through the door to a smiling woman and kids waiting to hug and kiss him hello…I am fortunate enough that he has the ability to leave it all at work…some cant…
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Nope but my husband also don’t come home from work until 1:30 in the morning so he’ll give our son a quick kiss since he’s asleep in normally lays down in bed and watches TV with me and eat some supper
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Yes! Admittedly some days we both come home to a hot mess but i try my best to let him relax alittle and same goes for me…i work nights and when i come home i dont wanna be bombarded with stuff…i want 20 min to change, pick up the house, wash my face etc…
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Yes which I get he works from 7am to 6pm in the heat
I need my own space when I come home from work myself, so making dinner in silence and a walk calms me. Then I’m ok so I understand
Mine will give love anytime…I’m truly blessed 
He should at least give you (and the kids) a quick kiss and say hello, but to hang all over him, no. Work is stressful nowadays, let him unwind a bit.
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nope he comes home and shower eats watches a little tv crawls into bed he gets home about midnight.and bitches about work the next morning and coworkers.weekends we get to cuddle.
Every man’s Different some just aren’t cuddly
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Mine comes in and gives me a kiss and we usually talk about our day ! Dinner, shower and then he will either do something around the house, maybe clean up dinner dishes ! If he reclines in his chair it’s over with.
It honestly depends. My husband works in construction and if it’s been a long hot day…yes, he needs a little bit of time to wind down before he is ready to help with anything. And I understand that.
Both sides cannot give 100% all the time. Sometimes the wife had to pick up more and sometimes he does.
We are a team in the end. It’s give/take.
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Depends on the job. When mine was a correctional officer, he needed to retreat and regroup. Now he works with a lot of mechanics and in a field he is passionate about and he usually comes home and takes over all parenting duties the second he walks in the door. But I never asked that of him and I do everything I can to be in a good state of mind when he gets home…
That’s normal…how do you feel at the end of the day when the kids are finally in bed?.. do you want to cuddle or do you want your wine and bath in peace?.. I know my answer…
Yep. Give him some space to decompress.
Well mine did it and he was cheating
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I tell my kids to let daddy have a shower in peace and unwind as he has a hard job and is sore and sweaty after work and straight afterwards he gives them all a big cuddle and plays with them and listens to their stories
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mine gets home at 4am and still manages to give our daughter a kiss amd he gives me a kiss and attempts to wake me up to have a small conversation before he goes to bed…he works 12 hour shifts and still manages to do this…but everyone is different so maybe your husband needs his time alone.
Yes they need to relax but being distant and pulling away from you? I’m sorry but that wouldn’t fly between me and my husband.
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Yes, and i’m the same way. I need to decompress, just for a little bit.
He stopped at the bar and doesn’t want you to smell his breath!
Let him chill and unwind
Mine will kiss, hug, acknowledge me as soon as he walks in, after the kids of course.
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I hate to say this but he probably cheating
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I def need to unwind after work.
Try having him take like 10 minutes in the car to himself after a long day, it’s help our relationship a ton! 
My last husband used to do that, he was cheating on me
Nope my boyfriend plays with our little one and spends time with us before eating and sleeping
Yup my husband is a carpenter and spends about 1.5 after work doing “me time” shower, poop, watch his show or take a nap. Whatever he needs to unwind.
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YES. 
I hate it, but when my husband comes home from work he has a strict “give me 20 minutes to relax and unwind, change clothes, whatever” rule. But if it was like all night or something I would be like what’s your deal??
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Yes. Mine does. But so do I…so…lol.
YES! Drives me crazy but I just give him his space and let him unwind.
No way! I get a kiss as soon as he walks in the door, then the kids. Same when i come home from work.
They cam have the drive home to unwind.
Not really. My husband will come home and give me a hug then pet our furry puppy then go get changed. Then we will sit down together to relax. usually he plays games and I knit. We will also have a child soon.
Nope. As soon as my SO comes home he would gave me and our baby a hug and a kisses. Then get changed and prepares dinner for us.
Mine doesn’t. I’m sure deep down he’d appreciate a few minutes to wind down but he says he prefers to spend time with our daughter before she has to go to bed. Once she’s down, he unwinds for a few, and then we get some time together before bed.
My husband doesn’t. But I do. What does he do? Is it stressful? Is it non-stop? Maybe he just needs to decompress. I totally get this. Some days I will ride home in total silence then stay in the car another 10 minutes in the driveway just for quiet. I know once I go inside my next “job” starts. So I prepare and “switch gears” by letting go of work and just taking a few breaths.
Heck no…my husband is all about me when he gets home, but then he’s my best friend so he better lol
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My husband usually hides in his video games after work but if I ever need help he comes to assist me. We both need our alone time after work, it just happens after baby is content. Lol
Although my husband does need/ want some downtime after work, he is always super happy to see our son after and the first thing he does he pic him up and hug him. He does work from home but has scheduled hours, full time, full work days that he has to be in his office ( insurance client services/sales) but he comes out on his breaks and his lunch to say hi and hug our son. Some days might be worse than others and everyone gets grumpy sometimes but for the most part he is always very happy to see our son after work. And he’s never mean to me or pushes me away or anything like that. He puts out son to bed every night too and helps with dinner and bath time and cleaning up the toys. Downtime starts with the kid is asleep.
My husband comes home and cooks dinner gets the kids in the shower… Then he relaxes after kids are in bed until I get home and we spend some time together… He works 1st shift and I work 2nd shift…
Talk to him about it, communication is key, not Facebook
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Sounds more like stress or depression. Maybe hes just feeling overwhelmed
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Yes! Hell I need time to unwind before jumping in
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I’m the one who works, my husband is home with the kids all day, and by the time I get home, the kids are in bed. I would love nothing more than to sit in silence for a bit and just relax, but my husband wants to talk, bc he has noone but the kids to talk to. I get that, but some days I just have to tell him, I need a few, bc I talk all day, I’m with the public all day, and I don’t have a long enough car ride to completely unwind from the day. Its normal. Its not us trying to be disrespectful or rude, or show we aren’t interested in you, or the family, we just need a min to get the stress from our work day out. I love coming home to them, like I said I just need a few bc of all the stupid people I deal with at work all day.
My husband works HVAC and is on a roof in the sun for almost 12 hours a day, needless to say when he gets home he needs some time to unwind, if course he will greet us with a hug and a kiss, then he usually showers and plops on the couch for a bit. But he doesn’t lean away from us or avoid conversation either…
Give him a little time to unwind and relax. I get that u want and probably need some attention, but he needs a little alone time to keep his wit’s about himself. Plus all men are different. Just because one man doesn’t need any relaxing time doesn’t mean it’s the same for another… Give him a little bit of space before u guys start fighting about it and u end up with ONLY space.
I think it would depend on the job. Does he have a traumatic job?
My husband comes in from work and goes straight to our two boys for hugs and kisses. Even when he comes home for lunch he’s all over me and then he spends his time eating with the kids. Usually after he’s off he will shower then we take the kids to the park or out for a walk.(We live in a townhouse with no yard) My husband is very family oriented, no matter how hard he worked all day he dives right in to help with the kids and house.
I am not married but my bf does. We have no kids together. But when I do see him after work he his moody and he will tell me to let him relax for a bit because he doesn’t want to take it out on me cuz he in a mood after work.
Depends on his job…when I was a 911 dispatcher I had to get in the right mindset before being happy mommy for my little girl again.
Could be several things!
Some people just need some down time. Some jobs are horrible. I’m sorry it upsets you tho I understand my man is like that but he let’s me know he’s not mad or upset with me and comes back when he’s calmer