Weird question are you pregnant or has anything changed big in his life. Maybe he feels the need to act out to get attention.
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While the threes can be worse than the twos, I am curious about the people who care for him. It sounds to me the problem started with one or more of them. I also agree that manipulating you to get him early is a problem.
At this age when children act out its because they feel they arenāt getting enough attention. The daycare may not see it this way but maybe your child does. Instead of telling him not to do those things try asking why he feels he needs to act that way
Okay as a mom who used daycare and worked in daycareā¦first is he being bullied, what happens before his behavior starts, what are the staff doing to alleviate this issue? Do a room visit, to see how they all interact.
Does the day care have cameras I wonāt take my kids unless they have cameras installed that are accessible by my cell phone learned this the hard way 
I donāt trust daycares it is what it is ā¦ not saying itās always the daycare but I bet you 100 percent their is something happening their that maybe they havenāt caught on to if this behavior is only at daycare the issue is most likely coming from their or he would definitely be doing it at home to itās him expressing frustrations normally itās starts at home so this leads me to believe something isnāt being disclosed
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I had a Creche for 10
Years, had kids bite, hit thump, kick and spit. Never have I sent any child home
Something is happening to him at that daycare that shouldnāt, get him out now
And this is where I started spanking, you act up at school or daycare and your getting spanked when you get home.
This kind of alerted me because our son was biting and scratching at preschool too. But not at home. At that age he was our only child. A few years later he was diagnosed with Aspergers (autism).
Something is wrong at that daycare take your child out of there and try out another
Hope not to offend anyone but that can be a sign of neglect or abuse.
I had this problem before. Itās not your son itās the daycare/staff.
Monkey see, monkey do. This happens when children from different families are together for most of the day, everyday. They pick up habits from the children around them. Particularly if there is a higher child to teacher ratio. All those children competing daily for the adults attention and, more often then not, not getting the attention they need each day. They see the actions work for other children so they test their boundaries constantly to see what they can get away with. This is hard to break and gets worse the older they get, especially in grade school. You arenāt experiencing it at home because you are probably pretty consistent with your child. The daycares are not at all consistent in attention or discipline as it varies greatly from daycare to daycare or teacher to teacher. Sometimes the best environment for a child is in a smaller and less intimidating setting. Perhaps a smaller daycare that has the same discipline method as yourself?
I personally do not trust daycares to watch/raise my children. 8 hours a day of my children running wild teaches them nothing. So my husband and I decided to tough it out money wise and keep them home with me until they are old enough to go to middle school. By then I will have raised them enough to know who they are and not to mimic those around them. I fully understand this wonāt work for everyone because everyoneās situation is different but it works for us.
Acting out gets him home early. No brainer. Heās smart enough to figure it out.
Have someone hes not fond of start picking him upā¦ and putting him to workā¦ hell rather stay at daycare
Sounds like itās the daycare thatās the problem!
There is ALWAYS a reason for behaviorā¦ What happens immediately before the behaviour occurs?! It could be heās tired, hungry, needs attentionā¦ There are many reasons a child misbehavesā¦
Something is going on at school.
Have you had his hearing tested?
Talk to your son and find out from him whatās bothering him. Validate his feelings.
I Wish I had answers for you
Thatās always a fear of mine when my
Girls start going to schoolā¦
I know heās young but ?!
Time out? Taking something awayā¦?
Maybe contact a child therapist ?! Worst case scenario ?!?
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Maybe he dosent like it there theres got to be a reason a child wouldnt ramdomly keep doing that or is anothrt child being sneaky and being nasty but not getting seen doing it i would change the day care why arnt they making a plan on how to help stop this like they should be they cant just kico him iut sounds like their not even trying to help your child or even support you something dosent sound right here
You need a new daycare obviously they are antagonizing him and embarrassing him in front of other children to make him want to continue to act out constantly I think heās being singled out, I would immediately look for a new babysitter and see how that works
It can be a multitude of reasons. My daughter did this where she was throwing chairs climbing things. But there was also other kids in the class doing it. Anyways first suggestion is talk to the director tell them they need to redirect his behavior weather thatās doing a favorite game, go for a walk to another room or even just to go outside for a breather. Thatās what my daycares doing with my daughter which helps. If they refuse or say they canāt then find a new daycare. You do not and repeat do not want this to continue as the child will make it a habit that wonāt be broken. Iāve also done things where Iāll take a favorite toy away or not go anywhere if she acts out at daycare. Also one very important thing I was taught was if itās not an everyday occurrence reward him for the days heās good. Do not reward him at home if he has a bad day. Another thing you may want to look at is maybe enroll him in a at risk preschool that will help with his behavior and also help you with tips as well. I know where you are momma. I had the exact same issues and Iām a single parent so it put a lot more on me especially with a job. But the daycare needs to not be calling you to get him they should try and resolve the behavior and if not then call you. If they refuse find a new daycare.
Maybe take a day off and wait outside preschool doornfor the behaviors to start. And then go in an immediately address them. You know 3 yr olds have an attention span of a drunk gnat so maybe if you could catch in act and get to the bottom of it. Maybe another kid is being mean and teachers arent seeing it. They cant be everywhere after all. Or maybe he is feeling something and doesnt wanna tell them. Eithwr way you can find out more info
Itās probably because they send him home. Now he knows to act up and thatās all it takes.
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Lots of great advice here and I know parents hope that another person/reason is to blame for their childās behavior but you might be the reason. Also put the shoe on the other footā¦ The multiple reports and calls to the other parents of the children that may be at the receiving end of the tantrum, hitting, kicking, and even biting. Its definitely a tough situation and I hope you get it sorted out.
Most of the time itās the daycares fault. We have 2 in my town and its known for kids fighting,biting,hitting, etc because the staff pays them no mind or being bullied
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Kids at that age act out what they seeā¦Iād check on the daycare and find out if someone is doing it to him. Daycares are now putting security cameras in there now
Mixture of age. Terrible threes mixted with learning boundaries. They should be doing time outs ect. At home does he take naps? Does he nap at daycare. That can play a big role in behavior. If you feel his behavior is getting out of hand you can contact a pediatric behavioral specialist and set up an evaluation. Change of routines from home and school could cause certain behaviors because at home the kids tend to beable to do more of what they enjoy and school or daycare may have more limitations on what is allowed. Like at home they may be able to color anytime but at daycare there may be a certain time desirables are allowed. I can only speak from personal experience as both my boys have behavioral issues due to their sensitivies and Autism
Maybe change daycares? , Typical boy making his mark letting others where he stands,
A big red flag u need to investigate
Another program may be a better fit
Heās trying to communicate with you
Kids mimic behaviors. Mine watched other kids act like this and get what they wanted or sent home. So when she missed me she acted out and got sent home. It wasnt the daycare. Unless you have hard facts of abuse from a provider i wouldnt suggest it.
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Calling you to pick him up shouldnt be their go to.
Inform them that he doesnāt do it at home, ask what they do when he does it, and what they do to get ahead of it even. I have never called a parent for behavior problems. Part of my job was to guide them past it and learn better.
Could be jealousy. Could be attention. Could be copying. Could even be bc three year olds are learning to talk and he may get easily frustrated that he doesnāt have all.the words to express himself. But they definitely need to take more Initiative.
Consequences are a good thing to learn young. He may not be doing it at home but it needs to be addressed and not just a simple donāt do that.
Maybe have him bring in an approved snack to share with the other kids as an apology. Making him acknowledge his mistake.
Dig in deeper into the daycare. If your son doesnāt act that way at home and acts that way in daycare, Iād do an investigation if you can. It sounds to me like he is being abused by his teacher
If he is just all of a sudden acting out at the daycare but not anywhere else then you might wanna look into that daycare a little more because it sounds like something is going on that your not being told about. I would do a suprise drop in one of these days and see whats up.
Same happened with my 3 year old little girl. Changed facilities, the new director and I got in the same page about whatās acceptable and whatās not and sheās doing great!
Sometimes its just a phase kids go through I feel if you switch you would still have issues. If he was saying he didnt like daycare I would switch but obviously it is something on his end that is causing this behavior
My daughter learned spitting at preschool. I quickly put a stop to it by punishments. Two weeks and she stopped doing it to me at home. She wasnāt doing it at school but the teacher told me she learned it from one kid who does it. My child is 41/2. At school drop off I tell her that if she misbehaves at school and I get a bad report at pick up she will not get to go outside and play, play with iPad , ponies. I encourage her every morning to be her best self ! Donāt hit your kids like some other 
parent suggested. At your sons age he doesnāt even remember his behavior at school once heās home. Take things away and keep them in eye view so he sees them and remembers he canāt have them due to his behavior. It will pass -
It sounds like thereās a problem somewhere. Iād be taking him out of that day care period. People always want to lay the blame on the child when itās a bigger problem. If he doesnāt do it at home but does it at daycare then that tells me someone isnāt being so nice to him.
My question is what are his consequences at home for his behavior at school?
Sounds like someone needs a good old fashioned beat down. Heāll behave himself then
Whoop his ass maybe 
He needs somewhere that is a better fit for him 
Figure out a behavior chart. Things like getting along with others, keeping hands/feet to himself, picking up toys after using, things that are positive and he knows whatās expected. Give sticker for each goal. Depending on how many goals you have pick a number; when he reaches that #, no matter how long it takes, he gets to pick out new special toy. I donāt know if the daycare will work with you on this but keep track at home so he sees the chart daily. Give lots of praise for good behavior! 
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My son is 14 now but when he was in preschool he did the same thing. Never acted like that at home. The teacher and I came up with an idea that he would get a sticker everyday he was good. If he had more stickers then not for the week he was allowed to go stay at grandmaās. Staying at grandmaās at the time was his favorite thing to do. We had a few ruff weeks but he eventually realized he had to be good an order to do the things he wanted.
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He misses you he doesnāt understand why your gone
Get him a fidget something small he can hold
I got my daughter a little dinosaur 
He doesnāt know how to express himself yet
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Is there anything going on that could be causing him stress or anxiety? Is he able to communicate well? He could be lashing out because he doesnāt have the words to describe what heās feeling.
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Find a pediatric Chiropractor if you donāt use one.
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Not sure if this is new or a generally common problem for him / I know every child is different and may act out in their own way- being said in my own experience my son has ADHD and was experiencing the same issue. He has been kicked out of multiple daycares and it finally came to the point where Iām at sahm mainly because we paid so much for daycare just for his daily report to be ābad dayā although he was not the same child at home. This is from the age of 3 and he is now 7. Sometimes I couldnāt believe the things he was doing or saying and would go in quietly to observe then be mortified to see the way he was acting. He was over stimulated along with not having much guidance from teachers. I was also a daycare teacher for several years so I understood itās difficult to watch all of the kids and be on top of one specific child and then label them as the ānon listenerā ect. Eventually he became targeted in a way by teachers because they knew how his day was already going to be. Mind you he is the sweetest boy youāll ever meet and they knew that. He just couldnāt help the tendencies that came along with the adhd. Now being at home he has better structure with me and is much happier than having a āsad dayā almost daily. He is also now on medication which took quite a while to decide if it was the right thing to do- since day 5 of using medication he has had a great day at school every single day and his ābad daysā are no longer a thing! Again not sure your particular situation depending on how long heās been acting out but just wanted to give my own experience and maybe help another momma outāŗļø
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He is getting some sort of reward for his behavior. It may be attention. It may be because childcare staff is very limited in what discipline they can use and he knows it. It could be instant gratification. At home he doesnt have so many "siblings " his age to compete with. Seems like a negative/ positive consequence situation IMO
Im going thru the same thing with my son . Is he taking naps & eating regularly ? Iāve been working really hard to have a consistent schedule at home just like daycare & we started seeing improvement. The past few days he started acting up again & i think itās bc we have been busy with doctor / dentist apts etc & he hasnāt had a lot of attention at home to play & everything like that . I make sure he eats well & takes a nap bc those are 2 things that really cause him to act out bad . Iām a mother of 3 & work 6 days a week . Making sure to set time for your kids together & individually is very important .
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My son is 3 going to be 4 in August. His dad and I split the first part of last year and he had several other changes thrown at him as well. He has always been active but his behavior increasingly got worse to the point where the same thing was happening with him. At first I wrote it off as heās just so young and trying to deal with a life full of changes that he canāt understand and is having a hard time adjusting. I started getting the numerous phone calls at work and in the same situation. We started behavioral therapy and occupational therapy because I didnāt want to go the medicine route but nothing helped. No form of disciple or incentive worked for him. It was to the point they were going to boot him out of daycare and as a single mom I was at the very end of my rope and out of choices. We found a new pediatrician (not a family care dr. A doctor whoās specialty is children) who solidified my fears that it wasnāt normal and he needed meds. He has adhd and sensory processing disorder. We had to try a couple before finding the right one but after 3 months and continuing therapy with the meds he is a totally different child. His little brain has finally slowed down enough for him to comprehend discipline and understand when you talk to him. I no longer get the phone calls at work and when I pick him up I am told he has had a great day with only 1 or 2 corrections needed. We are both much happier with our new, quieter life.
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Kids tend to do that as a way of communicating that something is bothering them ,maybe ask to observe the class from a distance or talk to his teacher to see if heās being bullied sometimes not always it could be the teacher being mean , or it could be something else like adhd and he doesnāt know how to regulate and it can also be the only child syndrome were he acts out to be the center of attention maybe talk to his pediatrician and teachers about it
Trying setting aside time everyday just for you and him. No phone just focus on him
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My kid did this at less than a year old because she was being bullied. New daycare, no problems.
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If heās an only child itās because the attention isnāt solely on him. My son did this until my daughter was born. You just have to discipline him in a way that he understands. With my son, he wasnāt allowed to play with toys or watch his favorite show until the behavior stopped
Discipline for his bad behavior at daycare bite kick is no safe any of children get a back bone tan his butt hard
Sensory overload? Surely the daycare can help?!
It all boils down to him wanting you, or someone mistreating him at daycare which leads to him wanting you.
This makes me so sad. I work in a daycare but with under 2s & have my 4 year old in the pre school class, now he is not the easiest child & he does many of these things also it makes me feel terrible as a mother that he does behave this way. His teachers are brilliant, they did observations on his behaviour and looked into why he was lashing out & it turned out it was probable frustration from not being able to communicate properly & felt like no one was listening to him. He is on the waiting list for grommets as he has a hearing loss & tonsils. They put together a education plan (not sure if that is the correct term)for him, got onto quick action with a behavioral & speech therapist that comes into daycare. I would ask them what have they put together for your child? What observations they have? What teaching strategies are they using? If they are not going above & beyond for your child lay a complaint with the ministry of education. I donāt believe in a child getting kicked out. As a teacher Every child is a treasure & unique itās about really diving deep and getting to know the child as an individual making them feel like they have a sense of belonging, loved & safe etcā¦ Hang in there Mama & best of luck to you. 
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I just went through the exact same thing.
I shortend her days as best I could for a couple weeks., for 2 days a week I would pick her up at 2 pm, 3 days a week she would go to relatives place till I was done work. If you can do that I recommend that. It helped. Also having consequences for those actions. So when daycare would tell me she hit someone or spit or threw something I would tell her that, thatās not okayit isnāt nice and because thatās a bad thing to do im taking away some of her toys. We would get home go to her room and I would ask her ādo you know why mommy is taking these toys?ā And I wouldn take them untill she said " because I did (blank)". To show me she understood what was happening.
And we would talk about what is okay at day care and what wasnāt.
I would ask her āwhat are things that are okay at daycare ?ā āCan you think of or tell me things that are okay/your allowed to do at daycare?ā And weād brain storm. āAre you allowed to dance at daycare?ā (Her) āyesā ! āAre you allowed to play at daycare?ā āYes!ā " are you allowed to hit at daycare? " ānooā¦ā āwhy arnt we allowed to hit at daycare?ā " because itās not nice, and makes My friends"
And weād talk about using our words " if your sad, tell an adult, so they can help you" " if your mad, tell an adult so they can help you".
And we did this everyday in the car ride home. And kind of made a game of it. Some times Iād switch it up and ask what kinds of things were bad to do at daycare, what things would make mommy would take her toys away.
The behavior stopped pretty quick. And everyday I ask her how daycare was, what kind of things that happened at daycare and made her laugh, if anything made her sad, what happened because of it. One day I asked her " did anything makr you sad today?" She replied " I did like when (blank) pulled my hair" so I asked did he say sorry ? She said ānoā ohā¦ did you tell an adult?" āYesā " did they help you guys fix it?" āYes we talked and he said sorry for hurting meā
Thatās just what I did. Abd the behaviors stopped pretty quickly. Sometimes long days like that are hard on them, so they just need some times of short days for a while.
Something is probably going on at daycare then if hes not learning it a home then he got it from someone at daycare or hes acting out because something happened use your gut feeling what does it tell you id definitely ask if something has happened to make him that way is he being bullied is a teacher being mean ect could also be hes over stimulated
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Heās felt threatened by someone there.Its his way of protecting himself.Someones done that and he canāt tell you.
That makes me a little concerned with whats happening at the daycare if thats the only place he acts out like thatā¦ thats not normal from what it sounds like. Id look deeper into that because to me, something sounds suspicious.
This happened with my stepson when he was 3 and it lasted through 5 when he was diagnosed with odd and is possibly sensory sensitive. After the 4th daycare giving us the final warning (they are amazing with him and last thing we wanted was to change schools again on him. His bio mom is a alcoholic he was taken from) we decided to try some medication and therapy. He has had no adverse side effects at all from it only positive. He is thriving and making friends now. Everyone has their own journey with each child you will figure out whatās best or maybe yours is just a stage!
I had that issue with my son at that age as well & come to find out the rules they had in that daycare not even an adult would comply with them. And they were intentionally doing it to get him out of there because he didnāt fit their criteria. (Yes I had proof of everything too). Please talk to them & use your gut instinct & go from there.
I recommend you spend a day or two at the daycare out side the room so he doesnāt know you are there. When he acts up, you go in and take care of his behavior however works best for himā¦time out, As a preschool teacher, I have done this biters, etc. , a few times and it has worked well.
Is it possible that he learned, if he misbehaves badly enough, Mommy will come home early? Could he just be missing you? What consequences do you have at home when he gets a bad note from school?
Yess everyone is correct when saying bring another source in to observe. I had issues with my son in daycare at age 3. Loved going loved his friends but would always get into trouble. Iād pop in at different times and he was always being well behaved minus simple things like arguing with another child over who had toy first kind of stuff. He got in trouble for hitting teachers. And other kids. I had a county worker go in and assess him at daycare and at home because the daycare thought something was wrong with him. Findings: nothing wrong with him. I blame the daycare. Too many kids not enough staff. These kids need structure and nurture. And please question everything that seems odd. They should have cameras and can always review what happened. Canāt tell you how many times I had that done and they figured out my child was acting out due to being pushed by another kids or other things and the daycare teachers just canāt keep an eye on every single kid at all seconds. So things happen.
My son is the exact same way. Following for tips as well. My child is 5 . His behaviors started being noticed around 2 or 3
Switch daycares! I literally learned this the hard way. They probably arenāt responding properly.
Is something going on that heās not able to express to you. Sometimes thatās their way of telling you
Definitely dig deeper! Heās crying out for help from something!
Good luck!!!
Just my two cents worth but I feel like the answer is going to be 1 of 2 things or maybe both but the first one is that he really wants to be with you/family and when he acts out at daycare and they tell you to pick him up early he gets what he wanted and gets to go home to you. The second possibility is that the daycare is the problem and that heās feeling that because thereās other kids around, the teachers can only dedicate so much energy and attention to each child which can be difficult for little ones to understand because most children are used to having loving parents/family at home willing to lavish attention and love on them whenever they want it. So it can be confusing to them when the same is not happening at daycare. My 20 month old loves daycare. When I go to pick him up he often cries because he doesnāt want to leave lol. Thatās a sign of the attentiveness and nurturing he gets at daycare. To him I think it feels like an extension of his home because they appear to love him like his family does. I truly think if you change daycares you will see a world of difference. I realise the teachers can only do so much and have to look out for the other kids but at the same time it sounds like they are quick to call you and to threaten to kick him out instead of being a part of the solution. Good luck with it x
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