I am having a problem with my almost-three-year-old son spitting, hitting, kicking, and throwing things at other kids/the teachers at daycare. The thing is, he does NOT do that at home; he has normal little tantrums but nothing like that; he loves his daycare and teachers, and they even say that the other kids don’t do that, so he isn’t picking it up from others. It’s at the point where they might kick him out, and him staying in daycare throughout the day is needed while I work. I have no idea what to do; I tell him every day not to do that stuff, and he smiles and nods, but I get a call every day to either pick him up early, causing stress with my job, or I come to get him, and I get reports on his behavior. I need advice, please!
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If he’s your only child that young, that itself may be the issue. Sometimes kids are just like that and they will eventually grow out of it however they should be teaching him that and modeling that rather than kicking him out or making him leave. Your paying them to be a daycare if you have to keep picking him up then they shouldn’t get paid the whole amount either
I do childcare and have 1 just like this, sometimes it’s as simple as attention seeking, or that’s how they handle things at that age until they learn new techniques, or he knows he can get by with more at daycare.
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Have they put him in time out?? When we were little if we got in trouble at school we were in trouble at home as well.
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I’ve worked in childcare and usually it is when the child wants some extra attention and that is how they get it there, which is why he doesn’t act that way at home. Perhaps look into getting him a sitter, that way he has more one on one time 
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May need to find another daycare seems to me that people that work in the field should be equipped to deal with all types of situations. It ticks me off that their solution to the problem is to kick a 3 year old out of daycare. Does your daycare have cameras if so ask to review them to see exactly what they are complaining about?
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Is he an only child?
I’ve done child care. Alot of childcare places don’t report to parents about behavior problems nor do they report if a child has been hurt, from feelings, name calling, others picking on other Kid’s. Camera’s haha most never work expecially when something is reported they simply say our camera’s weren’t working this day. Our poor Littles go through so much in probably the first hour that they are there. & When parents ask questions there quick to say it’s that child that has tamper tantrum that’s the problem. Just listened to your kid’s because you would be shocked at how much goes ignored by people that our being paid to watch our Littles.
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He needs more one on one there. He is seeking attention and knows being naughty will get it. Have a talk with the director and see what they can do to accommodate that.
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My child did this and according to the teachers he was the only one that acted out like that, they had a option to involve him in speech-language therapy( he was in the program for almost a year)and he has been so much better since then…. you could see if they have that an option there 
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Sometimes if you focus to much on don’t do this or that then that makes them what to do it more.
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He’s most likely overwhelmed by the change of environment. That’s especially common in an only child who isn’t used to being in a group of other kids. It might be a good idea to start doing play dates at home to help him adjust to the change.
I would take the day off & go to the daycare and just watch him. There’s gotta be a reason why! Children mostly do stuff like that for attention… anything different at home? He missing someone? Little people act out for many of reasons but definitely not something to take lightly!
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I used to work in a daycare, it’s super common unfortunately. Best thing I saw work was a mom came in and “dropped off” her child but stayed and hid from sight, anytime the kid acted out she flew out from behind a door or wall and handled it herself. It was kind of hilarious, but it WORKED. Kiddo snapped out of it she was so afraid her mommy was hiding 
Also, just a break from the daycare for a few days to a week can sort of reset them too, if you have a way to do that. Reward systems are helpful too, Pinterest is great for age appropriate ideas there too.
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Is this something that’s been recently happening? Or has this happened ever since he’s gone there?
He wants to be with u
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If talking at him isn’t changing the behavior, then it’s time to set up consequences at home for bad behavior at daycare. Write it on a poster and go over it in detail and make sure he knows expectations. Then follow through. If you dont follow through and there is no discipline or punishment, this will continue. Expectations for your behavior at daycare are the exact same as at home. Nothing has changed except the place and the people with you. Just because you aren’t there doesn’t mean you can’t discipline him. Once he learns that, the behavior will stop. He’s old enough to understand why he’s being punished and to make a better choice in behavior.
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When you pick him up from day care and you get home ask, ask him if he was mean or say that the day care called and said that he was rude to others. Explain that it isn’t nice, put him in time out. Explain to him that if you get another call then a toy will be taken away and will have to be earned back with good behavior at day care.
Maybe something is happening at day care and he is only acting so someone will pay attention and help with his problem
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My son did this too. Turns out there was a little boy that was being mean to him. He tried to tell the adult in the room, but she blew him off. He ultimately ended up biting the teacher before the truth came out. He was switched to a different room and thrived. I agree with going to observe the room one day if you can.
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god forbid but maybe something is happening to him there
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If he hasn’t always done this something has changed at day care. Something is definitely up .
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He needs more one on one. His actions is giving him attention. Either good or bad. To him, it’s attention. It also sounds as if he’s testing to see his boundaries. I think more attention in a positive way. And firm conversation when boundaries are tested.
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I worked in child care before. 1st does the daycare have cameras that you could review? 2nd.I would ask the teacher what was going on before the bad behavior happened and how was it handled.3rd.Are there any changes that happened in the child’s life even if you think it was a little change ?4th. Is this a child that’s use to getting their way and at daycare they can’t. 5th Is there a child picking on or bullying your child that the teacher doesn’t know about ? ( ask your child) 6th sorry to say be i have seen it… Does the teacher favorite other children in front of your child?.7th does your child feel invisible and needs some attention paid to them and this is the only way they know?.8 is there a reward chart of any kind at home or in daycare,? Something to think about positive rewarding. 9 is this a transition problem?? Sometimes children need a count down 5 more minutes until such and such etc. 10 .Teachers and parents need to be on the same pages. Best of luck to you
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I worked at a daycare and parents would not always be aware of bad behavior. One reason for that is setting. At daycare they are around many other children their own age. If he is the only child at home who would he have to compete with? He may be doing it for attention. To some kids any attention is better than none. There is not a way to give him more attention at daycare because that is a busy place especially with 3 y/o 
unfortunately as mom you cannot correct behavior if he isn’t doing it for you. And asking him to behave doesn’t work on a 3 y/o. Their attention span just isn’t there yet. Ask the teachers if they can break up his day into small time periods and discuss some time of reward system for him. Talk about using his words when he is feeling angry. As mom you can make a big deal for positive behavior. Even if it’s something small. Even using manners. Teach him using positive behavior gets more attention than negative. Don’t dwell on his negative behavior for the day. That’s too much for someone his age to fully comprehend. And definitely consider any changes at home. Like mentioned before even small changes to you could be big changes to a kid and they don’t always know why they are feeling upset. 
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My immediate thought is that something is going on there that he doesnt like and he isn’t able to communicate is efficiently.
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I was in your shoes. That was my now teenage son. He didn’t have impulse control. He was kicked out of two daycares. He was diagnosed with ADHD. Later found out that he has a genetic disorder that causes his behavior. I say all that to say it could be a few things. Just take a breath. It will get better.
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Punishment at home!! Take his favourite stuff away soon as you walk through the door
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My son had this issue hes now 4 and has been diagnosed with adhd, spd and erd, possible asd. He was good at home but a monster at school and was kicked out of his daycare hes on medication now and is doing amazingly.
We also had an issue at his new daycare where the teacher was incorrectly managing his behaviour and was fired over it and im concerned that may have been happening at his previous daycare also. Definitely ask questions on how they deal with that behaviour.
Hes almost 3. He is hitting a transition period where he is older than the other kids but still not big enough to be with the next group. He is probably bored bc of these. I’m a director and we see it all the time right before transitions. Everything he is doing is age appropriate but what they need to do is encourage the use of words, try to determine what hes feeling as well as find more stimulating things for him to do. Make him a helper but if he acts out take the privilege away. If they’re calling you to pick him up I would ask exactly why. Is he drawing blood, hurting people to the point it’s excessive for an almost 3 year old? Then I would request an outside resource to come do observations. There might be something triggering the behavior his teachers are missing. Be his voice
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How is the daycare dealing with his behavior? He should have some consequences in that setting so he understands that type of behavior is not acceptable. Making him leave early isn’t a punishment. Sitting quietly in the corner for 3 minutes is. I’m not sure what daycares are allowed to do but a timeout for bad behavior should he allowed.
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My little girl was having a biting problem and I found out that she was being neglected at her daycare. She wanted attention and the only way she could get it was from negative reactions. I say you need to pop in at random times you need to start asking questions talk to your son. Listen to him.
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If they are phoning you everyday to come get him early because of his behaviour he is getting exactly what he wants through his undesirable behaviour. They are not dealing with it correctly. If anything they are encouraging it. I work in a nursery in the UK. They should be supporting him, comforting him and distracting him with fun activities. Maybe it’s time for a new daycare and fresh start. Hugs to you. xxx
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It’s normal for a daycare to tell you other kids aren’t doing this and make it look like they don’t know where it’s coming from. Def look into the daycare. Make unannounced visits to the front office and just watch him through the class window and without letting him see you. Does the daycare have cameras you can view the classroom from on your phone? I was a preschool teacher and director and we’re not always right. Look into how the interaction goes when you drop him off with his teachers or other staff and children. Sometimes changing their school is the best thing to do
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It sounds like he’s taking advantage of getting sent home early. I would discuss with daycare appropriate punishments. I know they need to care for the other children as well, but he may feel he’s being rewarded with time with Mommy for being bad. He KNOWS if he acts out a certain way or badly enough, he gets to go home. I would bring that up as a concern and see what they’re willing to work out with you to negate this or slowly transition away from it.
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I’m actually wondering if he’s being bullied or hurt by other children or even the day care workers. I wonder if they have a camera that you can watch to see what causes him to become unruly like that. I wouldn’t be so quick as to put the blame on him because he gets to go home. Maybe the daycare workers are not being very nice. Do some research or take him elsewhere. We have a 3 year old & I can’t imagine him like that. He’s acting out against something.
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My 3 yr old grandson was acting out. Biting, hitting, angry. So through many dr appointments, he was diagnosed with autism. I’m not saying your child has it at all, I’m just saying maybe your pediatrician could give you some ideas on where to go or what to do. Good luck.
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It’s the daycare. Pull him out!!! I had the same problem, yet when he was pulled out and put in another daycare with a very good reputation, he never did anything of what the other daycare mentioned. If he isn’t doing it at home, yet only at daycare, it’s the daycare.
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My son was doing this and I found out it was because the teacher he was with was being abusive towards him and a few other children. I’d switch daycares!
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Had a friend who’s son did this. Hee was sharp as a whip and figured out very early that whenever hee wanted to go home all hee had to do was bite someone and the daycare would call hiss mom and she would have to come get himm. She almost lost her job over it. She ended up having to put himm in a special in home daycare where it was expressed that unless hee was sick or injured hee was not to get sent home. It was the only thing that stopped it. Once hee realized it wasn’t working anymore hee stopped.
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It’s the daycare I’m sure. I went through the exact same thing. Word for word what you just said. They finally kicked my son out and once I put him in another program (headstart) I told him the problems he had at the daycare and they gave him a one on one teacher and God it was a huge difference! He thrived!!! They treated him so well and were so patient with him. It’s definitely the daycare staff just not being trained properly.
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There was a little girl at the daycare my daughter went to. They were best friends. The little girl started acting out, hitting my daughter. Turns out her parents were going through a rough patch(business/personal) and she picked up on that & started acting out.
It sounds like the daycare is not dealing with him appropriately and they should be working with him not threatening to kick him out. These types of behaviors corrected with immediate correction. You can’t do anything hours later I dont know what they expect you to do.
Kids don’t just acting out… most of time there are something that causes that (Mentally and physically.) Talk to your child nicely. It could be as simple as he’s bored or it could be more serious case like he got treated differently from the daycare staff.
I went through this with my son. I’m still going through it and he’s 4 now. I don’t know what it is. He got kicked out of one daycare already and if his dads best friends mom wasn’t his teacher at this new school he’d definitely be kicked out already.
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I worked at a daycare for a long time. This is something the teacher needs to be working on. Obviously you have to talk to him but you’re not there to correct the behavior. They should be putting him in time out and talking to him about why he can’t act that way. If the daycare isn’t willing to work with him then I would start looking at another center and make sure you talk to who ever and explain what’s going on and that you wanna make sure his teachers can handle correcting him.
I understand the centers frustration but again they need to be able to correct it or it’s never going to stop.
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Something going on there. If his daycare sees him and doesn’t welcome him anymore he feels that tension it becomes personal. Although kids are very smart he knows what he needs to do to go home.
I’ve literally never sent a kid home before for behavior. It’s my job to care for toddlers. Even the biters and kickers. I’d try a new preschool/daycare. Someone better equipped for children.
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Children act out for reasons, I’d look into the daycare. They mimic behavior and don’t do it for shits and giggles.
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It’s someone at the daycare. Maybe he doesn’t want to be there because he is being mistreated somewhere.
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I’ve been a preschool teacher off and on for 12 years and I have 3 children of my own. First, they aren’t telling the truth by making you feel like your child is the ONLY ONE in the class to do that. That’s bullshit, especially if it’s a room of 3 years olds. There’s literally no way your son is the only one. Second, unless he’s drawing blood or leaving real marks, he shouldn’t be sent home. There’s time out, there’s taking away privileges like art or recess…etc. it sounds like those teachers are just too lazy or immature to put up with a kid that needs extra help. They aren’t willing to work with what HE needs in order to be successful. Find a new daycare on your own and pull him out yourself.
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Exactly what everyone else said…he know he gets to go home. They should be punishing him there, not sending him home. At this point, it’s actually their fault because they aren’t handling it properly. Many kids at that age go through the hitting phase so I’m surprised to see them just sending him home.
I don’t have experience with daycare but when my daughter started acting out at school in the 1st grade and would come home angry it turned out she was being bullied. She is EC but gets to go with a general education class to encore/recess/lunch. I pulled her from that class and she started going with another and it was a complete turn around of her attitude and behavior at school.
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This happened to my 3y when the teacher was leaving the room and leaving her teen daughter in charge who would not pay attention to him.
He flourished at the next day care and in school ever since…
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He could be copying someone else… My son started to spit and i put a stop to it QUICK. Started with putting his finger over his mouth and saying “we do not spit, NO.” Once that didn’t work I gave him a quick tap anytime he did. Stopped right after that.
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I’d def be worried. Especially if he doesn’t normally behave that way. He is not the only 3 year old gonna act out though. I’d definitely look for another daycare.
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We never had issues at home, but daycare had over 20 pages of “issues”. We changed daycare and my little guy (age 2, now 3) is a brand new person! Even though there were no issues at home, he seems so much more calm. He’s happy. I’ve learned that not all daycares are a good fit for every child. Mine has high energy and they couldn’t handle that. He LOVES his new place. 
I’ve had a glowing report every single day and my only regret is not pulling him out months ago. Also, I agree with Adrianna Owens comment 100%. My little guy was in the same situation. Neglect (unintentional or not). I could talk about this all day. The daycare works for YOU.
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Well I think I would take a day off from work …spend it in his class room somehow and watch what sets him off his triggers …it can be done …its in his interest to find out and yours .before some kid gets hurt and patents are at your door.
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Is it possible that he’s reacting to change? At home he’s happy and normal because that’s where he’s happy, safe and secure. Maybe he doesn’t feel the same way at daycare and is voicing it the only way he knows how.
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I went thru this with my son for years. Finally we figured out he’s on the asd with Asperger’s. It took until 4th grade for ME to put it together. Now that we have learned his triggers and fixes, he does so good in school.
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Because he’s 3. Every 3 yr old acts up.
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Could you spend the day with him at daycare or maybe come in early or on a lunch break and just watch see if maybe you can spot some things. Make sure to leave before it’s time for pick up so he knows it’s not act out, go home. But rather my mom could be watching at any moment and I told her I’d be good!
He’s bored or being ignored. My son went through it too
The daycare he was in had more babies so they were sleeping most of time and the caretakers would force the toddlers to nap when not ready
He just wants more attention
My almost 2yr grandson developed tantrums after my daughter in law weaned him off the boob. I researched tantrums and it says they usually occur when he is not getting a need met. He did not have them with anyone else but his mom. They subsided after he realized he wasnt getting the boob anymore.
So something is definitely going on with him.
We just got through dealing with this exact thing with our 3.5 year old. He even got kicked out of the daycare center he went to. 
Our son has a speech delay so the biggest game changer was teaching him the words to use. We spent extra time at home talking about feelings like mad and sad. We taught him that when he’s feeling mad or sad to ask for help from the teachers. Another thing that really helped was at his new daycare (an at home this time) used punishment for these behaviors that was always consistent and fair. He would go to time out and his teacher would sit with him and talk about the situation. At the center, the punishment varied on who was there and how busy they were. Sometimes he didn’t get any punishment for his behavior.
If your current daycare isn’t willing to talk to him and work on correcting the situation I would look for care else where ASAP. Your son may also realize that if he acts up, he gets to go home early which encourages the behavior rather than fixing it. Hang in there momma! You are an excellent mom and he will be okay. 
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Some daycares are bad, and racist toward lil kids that look different. Remember kids can pick up those vibes, he could be defending himself too. I’ve ran into some with my lil tribe over the years. So definitely get him out of there
Our daycare (daughters) has told parents their kids can’t return after a few episodes of the same actions. Personally im glad that her daycare had handled it that way because alot of the parents were ready to pull their children if it didn’t stop, myself included. I did feel bad that the other children had to leave but not more then my child being hurt by the same children, every week. Alot of daycares around my area put in their paper work that they will send home the child as soon as the incident occurs. There are a few that state they will discipline and take away privileges before sending home as the first option. I would skim through yours and see if it says anything about it or find another facility that is more tolerating of those actions and will try to work with him before just making the phone call to you.
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Are there other children at home? If not it may be that he doesn’t have the social emotional skills to use at daycare? Is his speech ok? Maybe he doesn’t have or know the words to say?
Is he getting adequate sleep the night before daycare? Are his needs met?
Consistency has to be key with consequences at home and daycare to a degree. Talk to teachers and come up with a plan you both accept and can hold each other accountable to make sure everyone is on the same page every single day.
Think I’d definitely be thinking of a different day care… they don’t sound fit to be around any child.
Have a look around your area, maybe ones with friends he knows. Good luck 
My brother use to do this when he was younger and come to find out he has extremely bad ADD and ADHD
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First let me say I am old school. This child is getting what he wants. He wants his mom and has learned being ugly at daycare I get to go home and have my mom. At 3 they understand more than you can give them credit for. So handle it one if two ways. 1. If I have to pick you up for bad behavior their will be no playing and yes I believe in spankings. Or 2. If you are getting calls at the same time speak to your job first. Tell you child if I don’t get called I will reward you with playground ice cream a toy whatever he likes with in reason. If you are getting called a 1 ask you job to let you leave at 2 the in a few days 2:30 then 3 and keep bumping until he is there all day. I also believe in rewarding good behavior. Call it bribe if you like. But kids are to smart these days. You can’t leave work everyday for same reason and expect to keep your job. My heart breaks for this mom. Bad situation. But keep communication open with son daycare and job!
Negative Behavior tends to mean only a few things in preschoolers:
Overwhelmed
Over stimulated
Needs not being met in the classroom
Hard time sharing
Too loud
Tired
Missing you
Needs more one-on-one time
Bored w/ play/curriculum
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If he’s doing this in a setting where there are other kids present, more than usual for example if he has siblings, he might be trying to get any sort of attention. Toddle age children don’t usually care what type of attention they get. They’ll take bad attention if it means they’re getting undivided attention. Sometimes talking to a therapist could held.
My son did this as well…
He’s 4, he still does at the new daycare, he’s been sent home several times due to this…. 
Definatly frusterating! Hope it gets better for you.
I hope they haven’t just made him the “bad kid” instead of correcting what he’s doing , it’s obvious that he’s looking for attention at daycare .
I’d find a new daycare. I get that they have to do something but…he’s getting what he wants. That doesn’t help.
He might not do it at home because it’s a totally different environment. I’d chat with his doctor and like other said, follow up with what accommodations they are putting in place to help him. You will get through this!!! Randomly checking in is good too!
Someone is a trigger at the daycare , ease move him adults act like they care is there a specific teacher that seems extra w him shes actually probably the one being mean
My grand babies never did this until they started daycare. They talk about a kid who fights and kicks and bites. My daughter addressed the issue with the staff and of course they denied the behavior. Other parents have an issue with the same kid but the staff keeps turning a blind eye.
So as a preschool teacher our absolutely last thing we want to do is send a kid home and we do understand it can be seen to the kids as a reward but we also can’t just let a kid be disruptive all day until mom gets there. Our hands are extremely tied on appropriate punishments. I’d ask them to start logging behaviors before and after fits. Then maybe we can fix the trigger rather than the blow up. I’d also make sure there are consequences at home when you’re having to pick up. I’d also talk to them about a positive chart. “You went all morning without a tantrum, let’s out a sticker on the chart” then maybe have an incentive he can get when he goes for x amount of time and keep making the amount of time longer until he no longer has fits. Also sometimes kids just do not vibe with a certain teacher. It’s not anything personal just they aren’t clicking. I think a meeting with the director could help in making a plan for him.
Is he an only child? That’s the first question I have. I have an only child and the more they’re around other children the more they’ll learn empathy and such… also he is 3 and lol for me 3’s were just nothing like the 2’s. When I dealt with the most tantrums. It’s a common issue that he will grow out of. Does he get timeouts and such? If he’s being disciplined at the daycare that’s great but I’d be disciplining him at home for it too. They dealt with it while they could but now it’s mommas turn to let him know even while he’s home that it is not acceptable behavior. He’s old enough now to understand that you’re telling him it’s not okay. If he enjoys going there he needs to stop… really all of what I said is common sense and I’m not trying to be a smart ass but it’s really that simple.
To everyone who is saying it the day care you may be very wrong!
I work in childcare & many times I have come across some violent children who will randomly attack other children & even staff.
There is a duty of care to the other children & staff that needs to be considered.
We don’t get paid enough or are trained to deal with those behaviours.
He’s probably doing bc he already knows what the results are. If they keep sending him home, he’ll probably keep acting up. Have some consequences not only in class, but also if he has to be sent out.
There could be many factors. Mimicking other kids, not enough discipline at home, teachers not paying attention, him getting bored… you just have to go through the checklist and see what fits. My son I know learned it from other kids and he also gets bored easy so you have to keep him busy. Just stay strong and calm and talk with him.
Sorry, I haven’t read the comments so it might have been said. Why does the daycare send him home? Their employees should be able to handle this common situation.
He may be doing it because he knows you’ll have to come get him. At our center a behavior plan gets started for these behaviors. The teachers should be logging behaviors and events leading up to it to see if there is a trigger. That or he is bored in the classroom
You picking him up early has shown him if he kicks off mummy will come get him. Worst things nursery could have done! 3 year olds are master manipulators 
x
To me that is their way of saying something is wrong …
Or he just wants you to come get him early…
Have you had someone else pick him up when he acts up??
Either way something going on
What if he’s being bullied by other kids and the teacher dont know about it now he’s just acting out trying to get attention so that the teacher can assist/help him, the teacher needs to have more patience with him and ask him what’s wrong because the problem is clearly something at the daycare I mean he’s only 3 years old which means he’s still a baby
This is exactly why I refuse to put my daughter back in daycare because she was kind of having a similar reactions and the staff would literally wait until I left and got home and then they would send me a text message on what happened and didn’t really want to talk about it in person. I Feel That Daycares don’t really help kids with stuff like that even though they’re around children and should be almost responsible and have education on dealing with a child in daycare who was having temper tantrums. I mean come on 
It definitely sounds like they’re encouraging it and not doing anything about it but just wanting him to leave early. I would highly suggest getting him into Head Start, they have a summer program or find another daycare. Kids doesn’t normally act like this for random reasons. Especially if he doesn’t act that way at home. So, makes me wonder if there is other stuff going on that’s making your son act this way, that the daycare refuse to bring up.
If hes not doing these things at home then chances are, he is either having these things done to him, or he is seeking attention.
Home daycare provider here. It really sucks when a kid does this. However, I try to redirect this when they’re at this age. Your little is trying to express their emotions and being that young that can be overwhelming and it comes out with negative behavior. I’m on my own with my daycare kids. Nobody else but myself here with the kids. I have a handful of strategies I use. 1. Overall behavior through the week for all kids gets a special treat on Fridays.
2. Absolutely no aggression. When it happens once they get a warning. Second time they are reminded what they’re doing isn’t ok and sit at the sit and think bench. For one minute per year old they are. Then after I talk with them and try to figure out with them why they found that ok. This usually results in them getting out what’s wrong. Sometimes it’s simply they’re just getting over stimulated.
My 3rd strategy is calling/messaging parents if sitting, thinking and talking doesn’t help.
I’ve had to have a child picked up before for aggression multiple days in a row. It sucks and I get a feeling of I’ve failed this parent.
Is your child around other kids at home? Because it may just be your child is overstimulated by the busy daycare life. Daycare isn’t a low energy slow paced place.
It may be needed to find a well rounded home daycare with less kids.
It’s a typical 3 year old behavior it’s a stage soon he will start doing it at home… my son is doing the same and he is also 3 but he goes to summer school head start… he is at the age he needs to learn feeling and if he can’t understand them he don’t think you do… time outs counting to 10 slowly if can’t sit still start over… also have daycare doing the same plus communicate… talk about why he’s mad and why it made him mad it’s very important the sooner you are on the same level the faster he will get out of it… and those of you say that it’s not typical 3 year old behavior I have 7 kids all went through it… although there is kids that don’t it’s usually when they are the only kid or far apart in age… good luck momma 
I’m the type of momma that will leave my job to handle business with my children. Next time you get a call tell them you’ll be right there and when you get there whip him and tell the teachers to make him sit down and not get to play with anything for about 45 minutes to an hour. And tell them if he doesn’t listen to pop him on his hand 3x to get his attention.
Yes I do this with my son at home cause what I’m reading it’s the total opposite of what I do. He’s good at daycare but once he’s home it’s all h*ll broken loose. Also he’s 3…if he misbehaves at school don’t get anything fun or anything that he likes or wants. Tell him that he has to be good to get to do the things he wants to do or have. If he’s good. Take him for ice cream to reward him for his good behavior.
Something is going on in the daycare. If he’s being aggressive there’s a reason.
It might be something underlying they’re not seeing or picking up on. Might be worth switching daycares, I know it’s a hassle but in the long run it may help especially if this is causing issues at work.
Before this was there ever behavioural or issue before this started?
Or he may want a little more focused attention, at home he has more because he has you to himself, maybe he just wants a little more in daycare and acting out helps him get that; even if it’s negative attention. He may feel ignored by them x