He’s 3. Your his mum. Everything he does is some form of communication. Hes probably feeling just as frustrated as you are. Is he bored? Is he needing to run off energy? Is he acting out bc he’s seen it somewhere else? He has feelings but maybe can’t name/understand them. Behaviors are learned. Good luck.
You put your foot down stop babying him and start setting rules such as no means no and work to get him on a schedule it’s going to be hard but you can do it show him attention when he is good and teach him how you want him to behave explain to him that he is a good boy and that good boys do not hit or yell that he’s a good boy and he has to respect others story books with these lessons are on you tube show him the videos and then talk about the book and why it’s good for him to behave only reward him when he’s good
The only thing I can think of to help is routine and consistency. Have a set routine for getting up, breakfast, playtime, learning time, and then when he acts up, it’s time for a time out. Standing in the corner is a good start. There is no additional stimulation in the corner. Limit TV time. Some kids tend to get over-stimulated. You said you have a behavior person coming in. Clue that person in to the idea of your new routine. Your little one may fight it tooth and nail. But patiently bring him back to the plan you have in mind for the day. Have some free time outside if you can. Follow him around and let him explore a bit. At the end of the day, before bathtime, encourage and assist him in clean-up time. Have him help put toys and project materials away. If he fusses, persist and get him to do as much as you can. Have a set bedtime. Stick to it. Insist on it. When he gets to sleep, have a cup of tea, and relax yourself. It’s going to take patience and an iron will. Speak softly as you can so as not to stir him up. But let him know you mean what you say. Have dad help as you can. Lean on the behavior person. Get counseling when you can. Hang in there.
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They say they act out most around the person they are most comfortable around because they know you’ll love them regardless… they feel safe to express everything built up. Stay strong and be consistent you got this 
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I would say spanking is definitely not the way to go because that’s showing him it’s ok to hit. Not saying that’s what your doing just I’d definitely avoid it if your not. But also you can’t expect him as a toddler to be able to handle his emotions in the way that we do as adults. Kids feel as though their emotions are huge even if they are small to us. I’d suggest trying to show him ways to calm down wether that be taking breaths with you or sitting in his room until he is no longer angers or upset
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Have you taken him for help off your gphe could be a bit autistic some children don’t always show they their autism I would definitely get advice on this bless you all I know from experience what it’s like x
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You need to be a parent
Now while you have the chance and put up boundaries
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My daughter, she is 3, I’m tired lol
He needs to be kennel trained
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Get him to run up and back to you when he’s angry I use to do this with my grandson t did help him he’s the same as your son and it is that he trust you lots so he takes his anger out on you when my grandson does this we just sit and talk to him tell him it’s ok and we want to help we ask what will help him he does it to me and his aunty as were always with him just about sometimes when he’s like this I’ll grab him and hug him and talk it sometimes works if he hurts us or we’ve had enough we pretend to cry this calms him down and then he’ll hug us and say sorry we do what ever helps him he doesn’t do it to his real father when he visits him but does it to his stepfather who ever the closes to him he only does it
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He feels safe around you just remember that 
that’s why he acts out with you more then others seriously my daughter was just like this ps make sure you are monitoring his behavior when he come home from dads I do know this it will get better just gotta be consistent 
second find busy stuff to do with him 
third you can not be a push over with a strong will child pick your battles what’s dead important and what’s not but once you say no it means no not maybe or I give in if you continue to give in he will continue to push you
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Sounds like you need to teach your 3 year old respect. He is not so young you cant spank his bottom unless you like being disrespected and letting him get the best of you. Kids like him, let be, end up in trouble as they get older. For goodness sake you are suppose to be a parent and you need to act as one.
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Sounds like you need to raise your kid hun.
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Sounds like my autistic 4 year old boy, but he’s equally difficult for both me and his father (also split) also another thing … maybe he’s getting more or what he wants with dad? So dad may seem more fun/less reason to act out? Idk it’s so hard to say, I’d make an appointment with the family dr and ask for referrals to a behavioural assessment clinic and see if there’s an underlying issue.
3 is a hard age no doubt, It might just be because he is so comfortable around you that he can express himself ( not so good ways )
Possibly Diet! Sugar, Red Dye in foods, processed foods, Gluten, plus more all have very negative effects on children. Some worse than others.
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One thing I haven’t seen mentioned is routine. If it’s different from dads house to yours that could definitely be causing some of this. I do know my kids act worse for me than anyone else. They feel safe and trust me with their emotions. It also wouldn’t hurt to take him to a professional, just in case! I know no mama wants there to be something wrong with their child but getting the resources and knowledge to better understand what is going on in his little mind will help the both of you so much! And if nothing is wrong, great! hugs
Toddlers tend to behave the worst for their caregiver, you doing fine. Make sure you time with him is with him and not playing on you phone or watching tv, sometimes they act out just to get your attention. Explain why its wrong and put him in short timeouts (3 year old id do 3 min) each time he acts out. Its hard toddlers can break you heart sometimes but its teaching him right for wrong and consequences for his actions. 
I grew up getting spanked and I never loved my mom any less because of it, and I feel the few times I did get spanked, I well deserved it! (I very much well knew what I was doing, I didn’t fear losing my video games, or tv or going outside, taking away those things only made me want to rebel more because I knew I would eventually get those things back, but what I didn’t like was being spanked. I grew up very disciplined and was always told by other parents how well behaved and respectful I was. I raised my daughter the same way, there’s a fine line between misbehaving, being tired, frustrated, or just plain out being disrespectful and that’s where i draw the line. My daughter is 13 now, she has a 4.2 gpa and is an athlete. People always tell me how well my kids are behaved and that’s because they know where mama stands with her parenting and when it’s time to rethink their behavior.
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Get him into therapy talk to his Dr and they can refer you too a physcologist
Lay down the law… my kids know better … my youngest is bratty but he knows when I’ve had enough lol
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Boundary’s is worth trying . So only do as you say and make sure there are stricked boundaries and rules so no going out of the boundaries at all if you give a warning about his behaviour . Follow through with it . Dont give an inch till you see improvements .
Brendan O’Driscoll , interesting!
3 can be a really hard age. Just remember you’re his safe person, that’s why he he acts that way with you and noone else. Please don’t listen to the “raise your kid” comments. Toddlers can be absolute hell. Stay strong, hold your ground with boundaries. If you are really concerned with his behavior, mention it to his ped. Hope it gets better for you.
Your his safe person.
He knows what he can get away with with you so your going to have the lay your foot down and be persistent in how you act toward him. This is the age where he learns the most and how to act. If you want him to behave ur going to have to enforce that and never let down your guard it needs to be persistent!
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Yes i went through this when my son was 2 and 3. Same thing. I sought behavioral experts but nothing worked… i always remained consistent and kept a routine… he grew out of it at around 4… you’d never know now, out of all my children he is the sweetest most thoughtful empathetic person I know as a 10 year old. His dad has severe anger issues and i think that had something to do with it. Hang in there, remain consistent and firm. It will get better
drop all sugars…get him to a dr for evaluation then go from there and yes if you have a good relationship with the Father, ask for help…ALWAYS ask for help when you need it…
It seems like your his safe person and he could be acting out because of the split.
I’m going through this with my child who is 16months. I’ve been told it’s a security thing and they act out with you because they feel most comfortable to be them selves