Please can you post because I’m literally at breaking point…Can anyone help or advice me on what to do please? My 3 year old son is so naughty for me, he screams in my face, he hits me, hits other children, breaks everything I find myself sitting on the bathroom floor at night on a daily basis crying because I feel so bad that I’ve ended up just really shouting. I’m not with his dad anymore and apparently he isn’t half as bad for his dad as what he is for me! His dad has him every other weekend and a few nights in the week which seems a lot but on the days/evenings I have him it seems like I’ve had him for weeks with no break because it’s honestly that draining. When he’s settled in bed he is so lovely cuddly and cute, but when it’s during the day it’s like a devil has possessed him. I have a behaviour person who comes to my house but I don’t find it that much help. When he’s with other people he’s apparently fine it genuinely is just me! Does anyone else experience this? What do you do? Do you think I should ask the dad to help more? Help… I don’t know what to do to. Thank you
Following…same here but me and the father are together and live together acts great for daddy and good for anybody else but to me is a holy terror…
It could be behavioral issues like mental issues… It’s not always the parenting that makes the kid act the way they do
Discipline him…take away his things and let him cry it out and tell him that if u won’t behave u won’t get your things …no snacks no juice no toys nothing that he may like
Following…in the same boat with my daughter
Sounds to me like you might have a child that could possibly be on the spectrum… Or maybe he’s got ADHD or sensory issues you never know get him evaluated by professional
That’s what they make a belt for use it on his little backside and move his brains back up where they belong
You’re his safe space 
I’d be more worried if it were the other way around
Keep him active and engaged. I have an almost 3 year old and if he gets bored my sweet boy turns into a Monster and I feel the same way you do. I found that it’s when he gets bored or needs to be active is when he is naughty.
You’re his safe space.
Or it could be acting out because he just wants more attention
It doesn’t matter how good a mom you are, us moms are the safe place and kids will always act out more for us.
He might be on the spectrum or have some kind of behavioral issue like bipolar or something. I would put some house cameras up in the common area to record his behaviors and show a behavioral therapist.
Spare the rod spoil the child. Mine tried it once… and since his spanking, he has not tried it again.
Listen to “1,2,3 magic” on audible. It worked wonders for my kids. Stay consistent , the first couple weeks were rough. Now I just ask my boys " do you want me to count?" And they go do whatever I ask. No physical or mental punishment. It made me a much happier mom. And made foe much happier kids!!
Sounds like ADHD my nephew was the exact same way at that age h needs to go to therapy and someone who can diagnose the problem Tat Tony Smith
My lil boy was the same way. I have put him on a schedule and limited his screen time. Since the weather is warming up he’s been playing outside pretty much all day and that has helped so much. He definitely has needed more attention due to me just having his little sister.
Structure schedule and discipline and stick to it
because he knows you will not turn your back on him, he will not challenge a relationship he is not secure in. he expresses his frustration to you because he knows you love him unconditionally.
I think you should definitely take him to his Dr. They will most likely send him to a therapist of some sort.
It’s the terrible 2/3 stage. 90% of kids are little shits at that age. You need to start putting them in time out, no TV, no toys. If you don’t do it now, they will always walk over you.
Following …I have a Granddaughter going through the same with my Great Granddaughter age 2 only naughty for her it seems…hmm?Has to be so hard !I just don’t understand it?
My boys were worse for me than their dad. But at dads they get spoiled as not living there. Can be part of it . Speak with this behaviour person to rule out possible slight autism. I only say as children with this are good everywhere but once home go mental as it’s their safe place . Also he is 3 . That’s an age . Find things he loves as rewards. Maybe indoor play centre. If good he goes if not he doesn’t. He loves you it says above how he cuddles you . Are you and dad on good terms ? My ex told my boys about a yr older than your that I left him - true but serious reason for it . But also that I had an affair- totally not true I mean one was 3 one was 4 … but they knew it was bad not what it meant and basic my ex trashed me it confused my boys until they see through it as adults. Keep reaching out to those you can chat to . Join every mother and toddlers group . Best of luck it’s not an easy job 
but you got this x
Stay consistent ! When u give him time out make sure you follow though when you Discipline him
See if dad can take him for a little bit longer maybe a extra day or two
He needs counseling. You really have to get him medical attention and get this under control. For his sake and yours.
You ate his comfort his safe space. Your also where he feels comfort expressing feelings. It’s a great but very hard thing
Kids do this. Moms home let me pull for more attention.
Or cuz you let him get away with it.
My son has similar behavior. Same vistitation schedule, I have started therapy, the therapist believes it is because he holds in his emotions at dads as he isn’t allowed to express himself freely without being shamed so when he comes home it is his safe space and he releases all of the emotions, energy and feelings he was not able to express freely at dads.
Children always behave worse for their mothers. Mothers make them feel safe and secure.
I suggest counseling and maybe medication. You will be gals u did
First off, he feels comfortable and safe with you and that’s why he shows it more with you than others because he knows you’ll still love him, that’s a good thing. My youngest with ASD had horrible tantrums when he was that age because he wasn’t verbal yet at the time and was so frustrated with his lack of communication. Yours may be having a similar issue in that he can’t communicate what he’s feeling so deals with it in the wrong way. I would highly recommend a therapist who deals with ways to teach him to deal with his emotions in a more productive way. It’s tough, I know, but it will get better if you work at it and stick to what you say. He’s definitely old enough for consequences so make sure you are following through when your rules aren’t followed and he will get there!
I was a single father from the time the oldest was 2 and youngest was 6 weeks.
You tell them, calmly 1 time, to stop whatever they are doing. If they don’t, no if’s and’s or butts. Whatever their punishment is is immediately delivered regardless of where y’all are. My oldest, would take whatever his favorite toy was and throw it in burn barrel. Smack on the butt fixed youngest up. Both are very successful adults now.
You either get them under control when they are little, or department of corrections does it as a adult
Get to a play therapist to help get to the root of his behavior. Also try doing 30 second hugs with one hand on the back of his face as often as you can. Also touch his face hands arms everything. Sounds like he needs lots of connections. Most importantly mama hang in there. You got this!!! 
Always stay consistent with him! When you discipline him, follow through with it. Don’t give it. Also maybe taking him to therapy so he can learn how to deal with his emotions.
l get paid over $125 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $14561 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
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I’ve only had to spank my daughter a few times before it clicked in her head that I’m the parent and she’s the child🤷🏻♀️ and I really don’t care about the opinions on spanking. Now she’s fine and when she needs to calm down she just “takes a break” in her room and when she’s calmed down she’ll come back and talk with me
Kids will do what they know they can get away with and know who allows what.
Babies always save their drama for their mama.
How is his relationship with his Dad. Is there any chance Dad is hitting him? Hopefully not, but you need to rule it out. He sounds as if he’s straining to be compliant and acts out when he sees you because you his safe place. I think you need to remain calm and talk quietly to him. Certainly don’t hit him and I’d be reluctant to send him to his Dad’s more. Is there any chance Dad is playing violent video games around him as this can also cause this type of problem. I’d probably try to ask him, even though he’s three about things that scare him, and quietly explain why it’s not ok to hit people (because it makes them sad and we want people to be happy). Have a conversation if you can about people who make him unhappy.
I know someone with a five year old who threw fits. She bought a wooden spoon and used it one time. After that the child never threw another fit.
He knows he can get away with it when he is with you, and knows his father won’t tolerate the blatant disrespect. Kids are much smarter than we give them credit for, and at the tender age of 3, he has already learned to manipulate you. Stop it now with loving discipline, or the police will have to stop him later!! A love filled spanking has never killed a child, but they have made children learn to respect themselves and others!
I know a child who has toilet issues because they were scared to go at their Dads…
He feels safe with you that’s why ! My kids are worse for me but perfect for other people ! He might just be over stimulated or bored
What’s crazy is all of you trying to get your kids medicated. Not all children have behavioral issues and need medicating. Now a belt on a 3 year old is too much but a swat on his hand or his butt when he hits is not. So many people are afraid of disciplining their children and would rather label them and have them doped up on medication. Going to have a generation of children walking around like zombies because of this. My daughter will be 15 this year and tantrums were not tolerated when she was young, a swat on the hand or her butt worked just fine. Stop medicating your children cuz y’all can’t deal with them.
There are the ages, terrible 2 and awful 3. Kids are difficult at these ages. But he has to be taught that he must respect you.
There was an actually study done and kids have 300% more bad behaviour for mom than anyone else. It is thought that we act the worst with the people we love the most because they can take it. We can be bad and still be loved. I learned by taking different classes and working with a Center for my oldest child (he has autism). That any attention is just that. Attention. So kids learn real quick that bad attention is easier to get and they get a bigger reaction. So they do it more often because it’s easier to get vs positive reinforcement. Positive reinforcement can be seen as “more work” than negative to some kids. So naturally they will do what easiest. Negative behaviour. So by not giving so much energy into the “No don’t do that” situations and adding more drama to your positive reinforcement, it can help the kids see a bigger reward for doing the positive stuff vs negative. I spent probably 5 years battling this. Because to me I heard “don’t discipline your kid” when someone said don’t give so much energy to the negative behaviour. They still have rules, I still tell them no they can’t do certain behaviours. I just try not to give so much energy to that action. Like telling them no over and over till I have to yell. It’s once or twice than activity done, you can go to your room. I’m not yelling at you anymore. I am finding it is also helping them learn more respect for me and seeing me as consistent. Because let’s face it, humans do what works. We all do. We know peoples cracking point and know we only have to push them to a certain point before they crack and we get our way. That’s basic behaviour psychology. So if we know that we can work with that. It gets harder when you start because they have to learn that you have a new “breaking point” or give in to a request. By yelling we give our power and energy to that other person. I don’t like how it makes me feel either.
Don’t take this as I am expert or think I have this down all the time either. It’s quite the process and every day is a new battle 
. I grew up in a “yeller” house hold so this is all new to me. It’s a learning curve so give yourself lots of love and forgiveness. We are all just doing the best we can with what we got. Good luck.
Discipline him. Whether it be spanking or just time outs in the corner, whichever method of discipline you choose. He needs corrected for bad behavior.
You’re his safe place mama❤️
The underlying problem could be his dad (its hatd not knowing all the facts). In all honesty you only know what dad says to be true. But its possible its not and hes just as bad there. Or hes NOT bad because his dad has terrified him into compliance. If dad knows you’re struggling, he may be lying to manipulate you into thinking you’re not good enough. If you have the means, get him into therapy. Both of you.
My children’s dad tried telling me they were amazing at his house. I was dumbfounded & took it hard. Finally his family & even my kids said that’s false! He was saying it merely to put me down & try and convince me they’d be better with him more.
I was so thrilled when my daughter got through the “Terrible Two’s”!! Piece of cake! But then she turned 3!
OMG…the sassing, the tantrums, the defiance. She became a different child overnight! I literally had to go on Prozac. Another Mommy introduced the book “The Difficult Child” to me and that helped a lot…I believe it’s been revised and is now called “The New Strong-Willed Child”. Do yourself a favor and stock up on books relating to toddlers!! Also, get into play dates or a preschool 2-3 days a week where he can learn how to socialize with kids his age. Luckily, this is a short-lived phase, but you have to stand your ground and get him to respect you. BTW…my sweet girl will be 30 this month!! 
You are his safe space. The space where he doesn’t have to hide his feelings and let them bottle up. Have you tried a worry bear? Also the naughty step/spot works for us and breathing together
My son was the same way turned out he had ODD
My son was the exact same with me difference is me and dad have been together through it all me on my own he can b a right nightmare when his just with dad golden child don’t do anything when we both together his in between!
At the age of 3 at times I couldn’t cope with him I had him a lot on my own as dad was working…
Recently behaviours have been noticed in school and his now going through an adhd assessment and since reading up on it and doing some of the difference strategies things are improving xx I hope this helps it may not b the case but this is what I’ve experienced
Im sorry this may offend people but if he was minehe wouldnt scream in my face and break things and be mean to other children : seems to me he has been let have his way without being told no maybe a moderate spanking you dont need a child behaviorail person to tell you what to do .tell him no spank his butt put him in his room shut the door let him scream and squall and fit dont pet or humor him 3worked on my kids
Try Supernanny’s time out procedure.
I’m guessing no discipline and empty threats. Trying following through on punishments. A good butt whoopin d oesnt hurt from time to time either.
My 3 year old son is EXACTLY the same. You could have been describing my son exactly. Ultimately, it’s the age. Just stay consistent. This will pass as long as you keep boundaries and consistency. You may want to check out, 1,2,3 Magic. It helped me a lot. ( Husband lives with us, he is just as bad with dad)
Testing his boundaries and what u will.allow.
You’re his safe space 
Hi my son is very similar he’s bit older than yours. If you ever want a chat mum to mum with someone who understand please give me a message it’s very difficult when your little one is behaving that way it does make you very emotional and feel hurt and very tiring too but try remember when he’s being like that he loves you and your his safe place he know he can take his emotions and frustrations out on you because you’ll always love him and be there x
I’m old fashioned it’s call discipline your child
I know a lot of ppl are gunna be mad for what I’m about to say but … spankings work wonders.
Now don’t do it while you’re all crazy, Don’t lose your temper.
Anyway. Your son will do whatever you allow. If he’s going completely insane with you and he feels like it’s fine because you won’t do anything about it then he’s gunna do it again.
I went through this with My first born and he was extremely intense with me and fine with everyone else. Then he started trying to run away from school he was only 5 at the time. He was just about out of the school when they caught him… Well that was it for me
He’s been really good since then and he got it through his head that momma is not playing these games
Start taken away his favorite things if he wants them he has to earn them.Make a chart for everything he is doing wrong on one side bad behavior on the other side good behavior.Get some stars when he does something good you have put on the board give him a star to put in it.When he has been not doing bad stuff have him put a check mark beside at the end of the day he can earn something back you took.Also make goodie basket go to the dollar tree get stuff.That way he can pick something out.Andat the of the week if he has been good do a pizza party or ice cream party.Good luck
Kids are little demons. They are cute but demons. You are his safe place- i get it with my daughter too. Is the split recent? Does dad have different rules?
Try the old thing spare the rod…spoil the child thats why teachers have bad days and so many kids end up in jail
Boundaries. Reward chart for good behavior. ( keep it simple ) you’re his safe place. But it never hurts to take them to occupational therapy ( will need a referral) it did wonders for my son. He had a sensory disorder and was seeking out certain input that I wasn’t giving him. Once we added that to our daily routine… magic. And he’s fine now. He might get certain inputs ( sensory wise) from others that you aren’t giving him. Trust me. It was a whole ass process for me and my son but the end result is he needed something I couldn’t provide and once we figured it out. Totally different child
Ok this is what I have learned as a mom with a child on the spectrum, and 2 other kids. (Not saying your child is on the spectrum) I learned that kids need structure, they need to be taught. They learn behavior by watching someone else (maybe dad’s house) have him on a schedule. If he’s in daycare during the day, then have a structured time with him. If you can’t do that tell him what’s expected. Such as in a few minutes we are going to do this. Some kids need to know what’s expected. Some don’t, I’m a substitute teacher, kids thrive on a schedule. I’ve seen kids don’t do well if their schedule is not the same when I come into the classroom. Same way at home. My kids know what to expect. Just saying, maybe just be more vocal, tell him no, show him how to behave, etc. I think he’s learned it from someone else. My opinion.
I got a blow up thing for my 3 year old to tackle and take his frustration out on instead of us. That has worked. Also time outs. As long as I recently began consistently following thru with time out, he has gotten a bit better. Good luck
He’s 3. Most of them act just like that at that age. My 2 year old is similar and honestly, kids are always the worst for mom.
This seams to be extremely common with children who’s parents are separated and with the going back and forth. You are your child’s safe space so he is just letting it all out with momma. Therapy can help as well. Sometimes children think they are being punished or mommy doesn’t care when they have to go to dads for a few nights and so frequent so I think therapy and finding ways to help your child cope, is best.
Do you spend time with him - playing gams, going for walks, snuggling and reading to him before naps and bedtime?
Try it -
Both of my sons were very similar. Nightmare with me, fine once Dad was around. We both worked, but I had a mon-fri job, 8-5. & Dad had a 6am - whenever (late and long hours), job that required him to work weekends. I was the one that took them to daycare & school, Dr appts, etc, and had them by myself from the time I picked them up until bedtime. Then had them all weekend on my own, basically, because dad didn’t get home until after they were in bed. I was the only parent they spent most of their time with, which meant I was also the only disciplinarian in their life. When dad was able to spend time with them, it was “fun” time … he didn’t have to be the one to teach or correct or discipline them.
We went through individual counseling, family counseling, medications for depression & ADHD, etc.
I wish I had the answers for you. I don’t. They are grown now, and finally grew out of the terrorizing stage in their late teens … we had several family members pass away over a few years’ time, and I think it caused them to appreciate us more, as they matured.
My recommendation would be to seek professional help … for yourself, as well as the child. It will help you build better parenting skills, and will help to determine what the underlying cause of the problems are, so you can work together to fix them.
I truly wish you good luck, my friend.
Hate to say it sweetheart but you need to toughen up! There are consequences for bad behavior, and they need to feel those consequences! Time outs, taking things away ect! I don’t believe in hitting a child otherwise, but sometimes a firm swat on the behind reminds them of who’s the parent!!
l get paid over $125 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $17392 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
Details HERE… https://homej0bmadedollar19.neocities.org/
Girl, Threenagers are rough! Hang in there it gets easier 
You’re his safe place. He can let out all his anger, confusion, frustration and things he can’t put into words. He knows you love him unconditionally and his source of comfort. Be patient with him and give him extra love and snuggles and talk to him. Tell him you understand he’s upset and calmly try to find out what’s bothering him. Going back and forth between homes is hard on little ones.
He has to learn you won’t tolerate it… put him in the corner each time he acts up.
turn him over and let him see the floor for awhile.
Try cutting out food dyes. Huge 180’s in my kids after that. It’s a daunting task but so nice once you’re used to it
My son has autism he is overly sweet which makes me feel extremely blessed but you may want to have him tested he could be on the spectrum as well. I got lucky but a lot of autistic children, children with ADHD and other mental health issue behave that way. Sending good luck and positive vibes
This might sound dumb, but have you tried just hugging him when he’s like that. I find when I do that with my 4 year old, it helps to calm him down. Sometimes they have such big emotions and don’t have the tools to deal with them and act out. They just need to feel safe.
He’s 3 and your response to his behavior is a big thing he probably feels comfortable with acting out with you he can’t Exspreas himself very well at this age
Discipline him! Yelling at him isn’t helping anything.
Acting out is often times due to backed up energy.
Do things physical with him before trying to work with him on how he acts.
You need control the way your parents controled you
Get on same page of discipline and routine as the dad and mom.
I had a cheeky boy like that……… I introduced the naughty corner for bad behaviour. Kids love craft and sport, so try draining some energy with playtime and craft to stimulate the brain.
Get Counseling and set rules, stick to the rules,start no toys or tablets etc time out works wonders,Put on your big girl panties , do today, after a few days it will get better
Try something like Taekwondo. Triumph Martial Arts in Clive has tiny tiger programs. They teach honor, respect, discipline, following directions, they can learn how to break boards, learn forms.
Our children act out for the person they feel safe and secure with, I know it’s not easy but you’ll get through this. Instinctively I think your child knows you aren’t going to up and leave, so he can let it all out when he’s with you.
l get paid over $125 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $21783 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
Details HERE… https://homej0bmadedollar22.neocities.org/
Do you enforce rules at your house? Do you put him in time out? I would suggest a therapist next
Does he talk very well? With my 3 year old I was having the same exact troubles you stated, he was an angel with everyone else (grandma, aunts, etc) but a demon with me. He was a little delayed with his speach and I had a hard time understanding some things he was saying, come to find out he was acting out because of the “lack of communication” not by me just ignoring him or anything but because I couldn’t understand everything he was saying to me, he was acting out of frustration. Once we determined that, I just started taking the extra time to ask him multiple times what he was trying to say until I did understand what he was saying and his behavior has changed tremendously, in a good way!
Would someone like your ex or his family be encouraging him to act this way with you?
Sounds like you don’t follow through with punishment. Put him in time out or his room. Find out what works for his dad
Send him to his Dad’s