Why was I upset my childs father didn't show up for court?

Why was I sad/disappointed that my daughter’s dad didn’t even bother to show up for court today? We were granted everything in the order but still… why couldn’t he just show up?

12 Likes

Because it shows that he didn’t make an effort or care to fight for his kids. I went thru the same thing 7 years ago. I knew he wasn’t going to get any custody or anything due to him not having a job, a place to live, and a long documented history of abuse towards me …but he didn’t show up and it broke my heart. Mostly because it made me feel like he didn’t give a crap about the kids, and I knew the kids would be missing out even if it was for the better.

6 Likes

It’s not you who you wanted him to show up for. You’re sad he didn’t even show up as her father.

2 Likes

Sometimes parents are just tired of fighting in court. Your situation is likely different, but sometimes after court has been postponed multiple times, or you get dragged constantly, I could understand just being done, and giving in to whatever the other parent is wanting to avoid court constantly.

Maybe they would get fired if they missed another day of work.

Not a lot of information, and honestly it could be for any reason, even just to get to you, so don’t let it bother you and be everything your baby needs! :heartpulse:

10 Likes

Mine didn’t either. He said I was supposed to remind him. Didn’t seem to affect the judgement at all but it still went in my favor but they didn’t fully hear everything in the 10 minutes I had because we had already decided with the mediator even though they made a mistake for visiting.
The judge asked me why he wasn’t there.

My girls father did the same thing. It was considered contempt of court and he was ordered to pay for my lawyers fees each time he didn’t show up

2 Likes

Some cases they feel they are going to lose any ways so why try. If he knew you would be granted everything you wanted then why bother.

5 Likes

I wish I knew. Some people give up on everyone & everybody … including themselves. Some people are selfish (_________) fill in the blank. Some people don’t have it in them to care about anyone or anything. None of this matters right now, though … because you have a daughter who you love with everything you are/have/will be … she doesn’t know why adults do what they do. I’m sure your sad, disappointed, furious … so many emotions. I’m sorry. People walk away from jobs, houses, marriages, all kinds if things … walking away from a child … that’s a beyond measure decision. Hugs to you & your daughter.

Ooo I cried cuz mine didn’t show up. He “declined” the invitation he says. For me, I cried cuz I felt bad for my children he didn’t care enough to show up. He hasn’t seen or talked them since

1 Like

Because it shows he really didn’t care and that’s hard to swallow

Could be anything from hurting too much to see his family be split up to hating you so much he can’t stand to see your face … without knowing your personal situation it’s impossible to know

4 Likes

Why do you want him there ? He probably knew you were granted everything you want it , so what is the point of him showing up

You were upset that he wasn’t willing to fight for her. But honestly you are better off

Not showing up just shows the judge who he is

A mama always cares more. All you want is both your child’s parents in his/her life and when the other doesn’t care as much as you do or even half the amount, it hurts our hearts to see our kids sad, you can’t even answer their questions.

2 Likes

You know why you’re upset. That’s why you were granted everything. I’m sorry, but it doesn’t have to be “bad” for your child. You just have to be both mom and dad… and continue raising your child in the best way possible… because that’s what good parents do. You’ve got this!

2 Likes

Ugh…I feel this. When I was going for parental rights, he didn’t even bother to show up, I was granted my motion. But it was upsetting that he didn’t fight for his child, knowing that MY child was going to be the real one effected by it, not him, not me. It’s a sadness and disappointment that stems from knowing that your child is special enough to fight for, amd the 2 people in the world that should know that most is the people who gave them life!!

To me it sounds like he doesn’t give a damm about the child or you have given that much he’ll doing the process he’s walked away for mental health reason. We’re you hoping to see him and maybe get back together cause your reaction isn’t normal for this sort of stuff

1 Like

If he just showed up for your child on a regualr basis u wouldn’t have even been in court . Shouldn’t have been a surprise .

He was going to lose no matter what. It would have went the same way if he did show. The court system is biased against men.

Even though him not showing up in court was best for you it proved to you that he clearly doesn’t care about your kids. You probably already knew that but now it’s undeniable. That’s hard to accept.

In my ex husband’s case, it was because he thought they wouldn’t do anything since he wasn’t there. It was his way of trying to sabotage the case and make me look bad. He thought I would go berserk since he didn’t show up and that would prove that I’m unfit etc. Unfortunately for him, it didn’t work out that way and I got sole custody while he only gets 4 hours supervised a week.

1 Like

Idk about your case but most are because guys are Tired of fighting to have rights to their own kids🤷
They show up and still don’t get what they want bc 9/10 times every thing the mom wants is granted so most don’t see the point. I know it’s upsetting to see them not fighting for their kids, but honestly why do they have to fight at all to begin with? As long as both parents are good responsible parents then work it out outside of court . But like I said I don’t know your case or situation and not everyone has a good co-parenting partner so :person_shrugging:

Are you upset that he didn’t show up to fight for his daughter or are you more upset that you didn’t win court in his face :thinking:

You got what you needed. Don’t worry about him

His loss. Repeat as Mantra.