Will I Ever Get Over My Spouse Cheating?

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"So I’ve been with my SO for 6-7 years now. And last November I found out he picked a coworker up before work one morning and they had sex in his car outside of her house… fast forward 2/3 weeks and my SO’s brother asked me if I heard about some girl being pregnant and saying it’s my SO’s child. So I questioned my SO and he admitted he had slept with her also, but the timing of them sleeping together and her conception dates were off. And it wasn’t his kid. So I asked is there anyone else you’ve had sex with while we have been together and he told me about two more girls… We have 3 kids together and 1/3 of our lives have been spent together. He said he’s changing and he only wants me now, and his actions are proving he’s changing. But my question is will I ever get over it? Will I ever feel the same in my relationship? I know I’m dumb for staying but I love him and care about him so much… I feel dumb for giving him a second chance but he’s proving he’s changing. I’m just wondering if anyone else has gone through something similar and made the relationship/marriage still work?"

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The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.

"Been there, done that. He never changed. Hopefully your situation is different but by the sounds of it, I’d get out of that toxicity. Love or not. If he loved you, the way that you deserve, you wouldn’t be on here asking a question that you already know the answer to! Good luck!"

"Those actions are called love bombing. You’re being manipulated."

"The only one who can answer that is YOU. If you choose to forgive him, then I recommend couples counseling for both of you together, because it’s a healing process for both. Otherwise, split up. Those are pretty much your only two options, and only you can make that decision."

"He’s a serial cheater. He’s been with 4 other woman during your relationship. He’s not going to change."

"He’s not changing. He’s just getting smarter on how he does things. No you won’t ever feel the same. He’s destroyed your trust. He could have given you STDs he’s not being careful. I’d leave. He didn’t cheat just once. He cheated four times that he admits. That’s insane. Run girl. Truly you will be happier when you do. Might take a while for you to feel the happiness but you will sleep soundly knowing that no one is cheating on you."

"Second chance? That’s like 4 chances, he cheated on you 4 times. He isn’t going to change, Leave him"

"Only you can answer this. Trust can never be regained 100% it can be built back up. If he really is changing give him the benefit of the doubt. You have kids togther , you love him sounds like you have been together along time. Maybe therapy ? Good luck. Love sucks sometimes."

"I haven’t and it’s been over 6 years. I try so hard to trust him but it’ll never be the same way."

"Uh he’s not changing. 3 girls? He’s showing change because he’s caught. He’s not changing. I’m sorry. And this “not getting over it” is your inner warning system saying he’s not changing."

"If you stay expect nothing else then what he has already shown you! I’m sorry you are going through this, I believe you deserve better."

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