I need advice on what to do with my childs teacher…my 8 year old ha smajpr anxiety when it comes to being away from me and this has been happening since he started school…once he becomes comfortable with class and his teacher he is fine…but if his teacher comes off some type of way and doesnt seem friendly it throws him back into not wanting to go to school because he has anxety…his teacher now is very very sterm…doesnt come off as friendly at all and i want to switch…will the school understand where i am coming from and switch his teachers or is this going to be a fight?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Will my childs school let me switch his class?
I would work on building the relationship with the teacher. You can always switch his classes. Stay at Home Moms
This really depends on your school district. My advice is to talk to the principal, tell them why you’re wanting to change is teacher and ask them if it’s allowed or not. Then follow what they tell you.
Call the school counselor and voice your concerns.
Switch him, they can’t refuse!
Maybe but you can’t expect a teacher to make school fun. You might want to consider homeschooling
If he has diagnosis then not only they have to then you qualify for the 504
Prolonged Exposure may help his anxiety more than switching anytime things “get hard”. Don’t let him learn to use his anxiety to manipulate or as an excuse. He is okay there and he will be okay. Keep sending him, building him up, and working with him on building his confidence up.
Depends on the school but I would definitely look into maybe getting him a service dog for his severe anxiety so that he’s okay at school without you and so that when he experiences his triggers the dog can guide him out of the emotional upset safely
Sometimes the teacher is very stern, in the beginning of yhe year. Just to show the kids that she’s in charge. Teacher usually eases up during the year.
I would say try different techniques to help him build a relationship with that teacher. He needs to understand that everyone has a different personalities and he can’t just be switched everytime
If they don’t change schools
IMHO you should work on his resiliency by letting him get accustomed to this teacher. It will benefit him in the long run since life won’t always be what he wants.
Call the school…talk to the principal or counselor…and the teacher…They can tell you no if the other classes are at capacity…i will say, however…not all of his teachers through school will be “nice and fun”….when he gets to middle school and HS….and has 6 different teachers…1 every hour…it’s going to be very difficult for you to manage changing, every single teacher he can’t work with…
Maybe try working with him and the teacher…and if it’s that bad get him
On an IEP…that’s probably going to be your best bet anyway!
Seriously, somethings just aren’t optional . Let him start with her it might be what he needs. Don’t codil him … my sister(2] years younger than me) had the strict teacher in 1st grade. Ended up being the best thing for her
I’d give his current teacher a chance. Sometimes the teachers that have firm boundaries are the best because they’re environment is predictable which helps kids with high anxiety. You can always change classes if absolutely necessary.
Well first, I’d speak with his teacher and see if she does/says anything to help the situation as I’m sure she doesn’t want him to be uncomfortable.
If she doesn’t, then I’d talk to the school counselor or principal to see about possibly changing classrooms which shouldn’t be an issue at all so don’t feel bad for suggesting it.
Some teachers are just bad and mean, I’m hoping that’s not your case.
Is he getting any counseling? You need to help him for life.
I think this is an issue you need to teach HIM to cope with… youre not gonna find something different with any other teacher and as life goes on, you cant just expect to be able to switch teachers or anything else through out life. Work through the issues with him and put him into therapy.
What’s smajpr?? I halted there
i think you should leave him, we cant change everytime someone is hard on us. diamonds come from pressure
Keep him in his current class and get a hold of the School’s psychologist and explain the situation and she can help him gain coping skills
A stern teacher is a good teacher.
Even if it is a fight you should do it. Your kid deserves to be comfortable
Also y’all this is a kid who is literally 8 I think they shouldn’t have to learn to just deal with it yet.
You may be doing more wrong than right by help him switch teachers.
Talk to the school counselor and his teacher, see if the school offers some type of therapy or counseling to help with his anxiety. As a parent we want to protect our chit but we also need to prepare them for their future. Give his teacher a chance and explain it to your child. You need to prepare him to learn to deal with all sorts of people while he controls his anxiety. Trust me you will be helping him Good Luck
As someone else mentioned, if he does have a dx of anxiety, you should share this information with the school and see if he should be evaluated further and see how it would impact his learning. See if he would qualify for special education services. Request a conference with the teacher and share your concerns. Switching will not be build up resiliency. Counseling would be a benefit and to help develop coping skills. It’s hard to watch young children Have to experience anxiety at younger ages and I know you are only trying to help. Stay involved and communicate with school, good luck
I would reach out to the school concler she may be able to help him cope or help him in general with school anxiety. School counclers can be amazing.
I would leave him where he is but seek external support for him.
I would have a meeting with the teacher and the principal and explain to them and see if they can come up with a plan
Who cares ? Fight til u win momma !!
Don’t you think you’re kind of setting him up for failure later in life? Kids need to learn they’re not always going to have the nicest person as a figure of authority in their life and they need to understand that. And stern isn’t a bad thing all the time. As long as they’re not outright mean or singling out your child.
I switched mine no problem and shes 8. They did ask my reasoning. I told them my other kid had had her previously and she yelled and was hateful. No issues and she was switched.
I think you would be doing him a major disadvantage in life switching his class. I would look into therapy and medication if it’s this bad. Life won’t hold his hand and he needs to learn coping
Go to principal ask for teacher change. You have every right as his mother if not change school
They should but do you think that will solve this problem in it’s entirety? All that will do is put a very temporary bandaid on bigger wound. What he needs is Therapy and Behavior Modification Skills. Right now, he’s being taught if he doesn’t like something or it makes him “uncomfortable” people will jump through hoops to rectify it. That definitely is NOT how this world works. As he gets older, these challenges will become more intense. It’s best for him if he starts to learn to work his way around these situations as a child while life is a bit more forgiving and habits are more easily broken. I have an Autistic son so we’ve had plenty of “speed bumps” to overcome. Patience is a virtue.
id say talk to the principal or the school counselor and let them know. they could probably switch his class/teacher
Possibly talk to the school Councelor and see what suggestions they might have.
And that’s how you set up your child to fail in the real world
What is he going to do when he gets a boss? I mean eventually he is going to have to learn that not everyone is there to be your friend.
Agree with all the parents here saying you’re setting him up for failure. Definitely have a meeting and explain his needs but switching his teacher is a mistake. One day, he is gonna have a boss who isn’t awesome and he needs to learn that in life we have to deal with people who are difficult or give us anxiety. Good luck!
What if there’s no teachers that meets your requirements then what?!
Depends on how you handle it but think first. The only way your kid is going to get past this is to confront his fears. What are you going to do when he gets older?
The stern teacher is usually structured so kids know what to expect. Administrators should be in school in August. Make an appointment and speak of your concerns. Also speak to your pediatrician
So what happens if the next isn’t any better. You are teaching your son that when they don’t like something the world will change for them. I would look into homeschooling cause what if the other classes are full or the other teachers are just the same. You need to get him therapy and and teach him not everything will go his way
I really hope that you have him in some sort of therapy for one and two he really needs to learn to cope and deal with things like this. if I was the principal I would not allow him to switch classes. He is 8 so what 2nd or 3rd grade… Way too old for this.
Simply say, "I don’t like this teachers attitude and I want my child in another classroom.
To all these people saying you’re not leading him the right way… he’s EIGHT. Protect your baby while he’s young. Do what you feel is right. Talk to the teacher first before going to their boss… maybe just some miscommunication. Try to solve the problem before you switch because the next one might be the same. I had to do this with my son in pre-k and it worked out once he switched. Wish you the best of luck.
Your child has to learn that adults are stern, especially in an educational setting.
If you allow him to run away from the slightest inconvenience, (for example, his teacher not being a doormat), he’s going to think that’s the solution for everything in his life.
When I was in college I didn’t understand a professor in one of my classes at all. I had two options 1 drop and retake with a different professor and risk not completing my degree on time or 2 stick it out. I stuck it out. Got a D in the class. I tried office hours and all. But I only did that because my parents didn’t let me switch if I didn’t like a teacher.
I’m a 4th grade teacher. Many school don’t allow switching teachers as this sets a very bad pattern for the student. You need to sit down with your 8 year old and be clear what behavior patterns you expect. You may wish to meet with the teacher, so that you can work together, and I do mean together, to help your child overcome anxiety issues. Your young child is going to have many teachers with a wide range of personalities and classroom expectations. I am also a stern, but fair teacher. Next week, before we even start academics, my students are going to be drilled with my classroom expectations. They will learn quickly. This past June, as my exiting 4th graders prepared to leave, I was provided with gifts and treats from the parents and many hugs from my students who actually didn’t want to leave.
Lastly, I have to be blunt. If you believe this is an issue fighting the school over, you may need to consider homeschool.
Best advice… you don’t know if you don’t ask. You are your child’s voice! Be aggressive! Lol most parents, admin forget they work for us. It’s for the child’s best interest. Also understand there is a teacher shortage. But you need to get involved with the school nurse, school counselor(s). Been down a damn long road with the school system. Big hugs
Yes be his advocate. Advocate for him
Could you maybe arrange a meeting with the teacher and explain the feelings your son has to go through in a new environment?
I’m sure the teacher wouldn’t mind learning how to encourage her students and make them feel comfortable rather then just taking your child out, maybe they could both learn and grow from this?
My daughter is like this. She has separation anxiety. It was so hard on her. She was calling me everyday crying that she missed me! I actually took her out of school and I now homeschool her. She is doing absolutely amazing and this is much better for her!
My daughter’s pediatrician told us that she will grow out of this. She doesn’t need meds or anything and it’s very common in kids.
They might but I think you need to work with your son and his teacher to work through this. What happens next year? Or the next? Or when he’s an adult and has these behaviors? They need to be handled sooner than later rather than accommodated.
Oh please lol. Welcome to life.
If you constantly do that for him he is going to expect you to do that forever. He needs to learn to deal with all kinds of people
All I want to say is I know exactly what your going through my daughter is exactly like that and lucky this year she got a nice teacher
Have you taken him to the doctor to get anxiety medication? Maybe that’ll help.
I think you son would be better off with therapy and finding the root of his problem. You cant just change everything to make it better for him. What if the teacher you switch to doesnt suit him either…
I did switch my son in 2nd grade… but it was not easy! He is now in his late 20s and as a kid he had ADD, had a very hard time focusing. His teacher was bubbly and nice but her classroom was very chaotic. I set up a meeting and was shocked to find The principal, assistant principal, current teacher, last year’s teacher, PE art and music teaches… and of course the librarian. They talked about my sons bad qualities and I felt completely under attack. I then thought to myself I am the only person in this world that will stand up for my son and I did. Not every kid thrives in certain classrooms. I do understand this could become a problem, as a pattern. But since first, second and third grade are the core learning years I stayed strong and made my point very clear￼. He did much better in a more structured traditional classroom. Good luck!￼￼
I would like to add that he never needed to switch classrooms again, and he excelled in school. I do agree that kids need to learn to work in different environments and with different people, it looks like she was not quite ready for her own classroom?
So, what if the other teacher is the same ? Are you going to keep doing the same every time , I think that you should work with your kid and maybe a therapist with his issues .
It depends on the school.
I cannot believe how many people are suggesting switching teachers, medication and therapy. When I was 8 and threw a fit not wanting to go to school they didn’t call it anxiety. No one needed medication or therapy until actually proven otherwise. You went to school, you did as your parents told you and you survived. Sometimes a kid needs to cry it out until they realize it’s just something they have to do and that’s not going to change. Unless this teacher is abusive in some way it’s ridiculous to assume an 8 year old needs therapy or medication. And 8 is not a baby. I just watched master chef junior and there were 8 year olds on there rockin it making filet mignon and pasta from scratch lol. Without more information this mom sounds like she coddled him and he knows he can get what he wants by acting up. I know you don’t want to see your child upset in any way but I think the first step would be to just talk to him about the fact that he might not WANT to do this but he NEEDS to and go from there. The LAST step should be medication, switching teachers and therapy. But hey, that’s just my opinion looking from the outside. And the outside looks more and more like every generation lacks the capability to be independent and not think someone is going to take care of them and owes them something.
Umm you’re supposed to help prepare your child for life…are you going to try and get him transferred to a new department if his supervisor is mean?
My son has severe anxiety & other things. His teacher last year was awful. Not just awful but she pretended to be an expert on my son. She escalated his anxiety awful to the point he was having meltdowns every day after school. He’s come home curl into a ball & cry with a horrible headache. Hed also run off. They decided he was a bad kid when it was his teacher. I know where you’re coming from. I’m not sure they’ll switch his class. Maybe talk to a school social worker?
I see the need to protect your child but really theres people that are hard to deal with just looking at it in reverse
Your child is difficult but the teacher doesnt just say i dont want to be in his class and go teach another group
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Sounds like a great learning environment. Staying in this class will help your child learn to be around different people then just you.
Give it chance, first. And then if you feel like it’s still an issue,Ask them directly. Not every child/teacher is a good fit.
It depends on the school but honestly I think you doing that it’s gonna make things worse because you’re gonna Put it in his mind that it’s OK to run from his problems and that’s not the solution to everything honestly he’s old enough to be on medication maybe you need to look into that and you need to talk to him that just because people sound stern and unpleasant doesn’t mean that they are a bad person because teachers can be that way for a reason maybe you should talk to the teacher 1st
How are you actually helping him to prepare for the future sometimes in life we have to deal with stuff that is out of our control and well if your child is stuck in a situation out of their control they will have an attack you need to teach him it will be ok. Therapy sounds like its needed. Why do so many kids have anxiety what are these parents doing to their children for this to happen.
Why not just ask the school?They have resources
I think you should keep.him in the class. Hopefully he will overcome his anxiety. I never switched my kids teachers (even if it wasn’t the warmest or nicest if a teacher) I say teach them early because unfortunately they will have a co worker, boss, customer etc that they will not connect with or not like. You can’t switch something every time you don’t like someone…good luck!!
Anxiety is a special needs you should have your son tested by pupil personal services in your school district and get a IEP for him.
Take this as a chance to teach your child a lesson. There are going to be people that are difficult or he may not like but he has to adjust and push forward. I can relate to you. It used to take 4 teachers to pull my daughter into school because she didn’t want to leave me. She had some great teachers and some that just didn’t want to deal with her. ADHD combined type with ODD and anxiety. My suggestion to you would be to encourage the schools guidance counselor or therapist to start a relationship with your child asap. That has been the saving grace for my daughter. It makes her year go a lot smoother. She can walk out and meet with her at anytime when she’s feeling anxious, upset, angry. Work with the sources outside of that classroom. Encourage your child to stay in this class and face his fears and learn to adjust to the world around him. The older he gets the less accommodations he will get. Better to learn now.
I specifically asked that my 1st grader not have a teacher my oldest did because she falsely called CPS on me after a heated email exchanged. He’s not in her class. We have even asked for specific teachers for my oldest because he as well does not do well in classes where they are super strict or will not pull him aside to explain what applies to him and what doesn’t as he is an IEP kid and has different requirements. I always fight and make sure my kids are set up for success they spend so much time in school it should feel like a safe environment for them and I to interact in. Since my oldest was in 2nd grade his school did not always feel safe because of the teacher calling CPS on me for nothing and not having a conversation with me in a way that was constructive. Last year was okay because she had her own classroom but as soon as I found out my son might be in her class in early spring I started having anxiety I finally went in and spoke the the principal who had already had a conversation with the Special Ed teacher who came in right about the same time and knew the situation. I told the Principal that I’m not asking for petty reasons I’m asking because if he is in her class I will pull him to another school. Which I do not want to do. I will never feel safe with my child in her class.
If they fight you get a letter from the doctor they cant stop that
Maybe, we don’t work there. You should try asking the people who would know instead of the many here who have no idea.
I’d simply start off very confident and request the transfer peacefully. If not granted I’d turn to your child’s pediatrician or pcp. Especially if they have a dx of anxiety. If a single person is continuing to set him/ her/ them off then it needs to be addressed. Having that feeling every single day is not adding growth and a chance for you child to be educated due to the circumstances. Because they are in a constant state of anxiousness. So why even bother to go to school . As a parent I’d can totally relate and would certainly be at the door step come Monday morning to get a grip on this matter before it get to far into the year. Your child needs the educated and that teacher needs to get a grip and learn to balance themselves for all the different types of people in this world we are all doing the best we can!!
Yes I think the school would understand and if they give you a hard time don’t back down. Do what best for your child!!!