Would I be in the wrong to withhold my kids from my ex?

Hello everyone I need some advice my kids father has had me blocked for weeks now. When it’s time to exchange the kids I have to call private numerous of times sometimes I can’t even get an answer. It’s becoming so overwhelming I really don’t know what to do. Will I be wrong to stop all communication and not let the kids go with him until things get better?

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Follow any court order that may exist, and contact ur atty and let them know he has no way of contact, most orders require a active way of contact…do t break any orders by withholding…that could come back on you. Unless u think kids are unsafe…and again u have to go to ur atty asap.

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Dosent look like he wants the kids if he blocked your number and Dosent have a way to communicate

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Depends. Is there a court order? If so what does it say? How often are you calling? And if it’s him not showing up for exchanges and you calling a lot to get ahold of him, just stop calling. Call once. If he doesn’t answer, let him call you back.

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I wouldn’t so much withhold your kids from seeing their dad, I would word it more along the lines of being able to contact each other for the purpose of coparenting. I’m also inclined to wonder what caused it to get to this point, did he block you for valid reasons? I’ve found through personal experience that if 2 people can’t put aside pride to have a healthy coparenting relationship then an agreement needs to be written down, everything needs to be very black and white with no gray area. For example; exact pick up/drop off times so there is no need to call everytime

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I wouldn’t bother calling him on the day of meet ups. I would follow the court order and show to the meeting spot. Take a photo with a time stamp. Wait a reasonable amount of time. Then leave. Then you aren’t withholding the children. You can Then take said individual back to court or if they take you back to court you have proof you’ve been following the court order. Don’t ever withhold, it will never work out in your favour.

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If there is a court order… most give a 30 minute or so grace period… so say he is supposed to get them at 6pm but by 630pm he hasn’t shown up… call one time that’s it. At that point he forfeits his time. As much as it sucks, you can’t force him to be a father and you honestly shouldn’t have to. Enjoy your babies, document everything… every unanswered call, no contact, every missed visitation… all of it. Keep it for court. He is the one missing out on them.

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I wouldn’t stop him from seeing the kids but I wouldn’t be calling so much either. If he wants to see his kids he will. If it’s court ordered then go and explain communication is difficult or go through a 3rd party. I definitely wouldn’t stop the kids from seeing their Dad unless he was a danger to them.

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If you have to do all of that then forget it. That’s not co parenting at all. He shouldn’t have you blocked due to the children. That falls on him.

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Hate me if you want but nobody’s taking my kids anywhere unless I have some form of communication with said person. That’s just plain safety protocol :woman_shrugging:

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File a motion also need records of him having blocked his number from you

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If you have a court agreement and you withhold you will get in trouble if he reports you. What does your agreement specifically say? Take him to court for to adjust your order.

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I mean he’s already stopped all communication himself. If he can’t even talk to you to get the kids, just stop begging him to be a dad.

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if you have a court order, you cannot withhold them. however have you tried emailing him or sending a certified letter? my husband has his ex-wife blocked & she no longer has his phone number due to her behavior. the only communication they have is via email until she learns to grow up and can be trusted with phone numbers.

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Don’t show up. Ball is in court

Let the kids go? He is their father. He has just as much right to his kids as you do . If he is involved with activities that might be a danger to them then take him to court with proof . Maybe he blocked you because of you. I’ve seen mothers hold kids away from the father out of spite . There isn’t enough story behind your post.

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Establish a set pick up/drop off location at the police station at a set time. If he doesn’t show up within 30 mins, go home home. If he doesn’t drop them off on time, file with the police so you have record of violation on file for court.

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I wouldn’t force anything. If it is court ordered, I would document & video Everything and show the courts that you are doing your part and calling him to come and get the kids.

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Don’t beg anyone to be in your child’s life. When it’s forced it puts your child in danger. If he’s blocked you leave it alone. Don’t call don’t text stop reaching out. Instead start planning on doing it all on your own without his help. Put your energy into finding resources to help you.

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Legally I do not think you can… but he should not have blocked your number. Follow the parenting plan.

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1st off do you have a court order in regards to visitations…

Tell him you will speak to him about the kids and no one else. If he can’t communicate with you to see then then he will not see them as they are not the father and your no longer tracking him down.

But if you have a court order you can not, but if you go to court you can get it so he has to speak to you about kids specailly for drop off and you won’t reach out to anyone else for his children when he’s blocked you

How would he be getting the kids if he blocked communication?

Unless you have a court order, I would stop contacting him :woman_shrugging:t2: I know it’s frustrating. Trust me it’s been almost 3 years since my daughters father seen her, but you shouldn’t have to beg him to be a father. His actions say what he wants to do. I won’t let my daughter go with her dad until he files for visitations (granted he’s only asked twice in those two years but won’t meet me to see her, just expects me to drop her off after all this time, she’s 7 and hasn’t seen him since 4…not happening) so yea unless there is an order just stop trying…if there is an order, go to the spot on time, make two calls, wait 10-15 mins. Then leave. The phone call records will show the time. You can even take an identifying picture of ordered drop off location for a time stamp :woman_shrugging:t2:

if theirs an order in place, I’ll tell you advice I was given right from the foc deputy- if a parent makes you do all the extra work to handle drop offs, stop doing it. when it’s a parents time with the kids, they will need to do there part in the exchange; from phone calls, texts, location and times.
stop making it easier for the other parent to make it harder on you, bc that’s exactly the game they’re playing.

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I think this depends on whether or not there is a court order in place.

If there is a court order in place, I would make a good faith attempt to follow the court order for a pre-determined amount of time - say a month - and document every attempt that you make at communication and co-parenting. At the end of that month, I would file a modification of custody/visitation/support and let the courts handle it.

If there is no court order in place, I would stop now and if he has an issue, let him take it to court, at which time, you can provide the proof that you already have of trying to make contact with him and him having you blocked, not responding or making communication difficult resulting in the cease communication.

No youare not wrong that is strange behavior of him

Let him call you and if you feel uneasy about it don’t let him take them

It’s half his responsibility to keep communication and healthy fathering for the kids, i hope its healthy whenever theyre with him and if he wants to be a dad that all will be clear… Don’t overly try. Say I called your main number and it was blocked. And if you can get through say im not going to carrier pigeon you to make sure you see the kids. And if he doesnt come or call on the specific day and time then thats on him. You’re not withholding them because it’s for your own feelings. Is there a visitation agreement in place for what specific days? Hope it gets better.

Absolutely take him to court

What I have learned is you can’t force someone to be a parent. I would stop reaching out altogether unless your kids ask you to contact him for something.

Yes, you would be in the wrong if you withheld them. HOWEVER it’s not your job to facilitate those visits. If he doesn’t call to arrange or hold up his end of the agreement, that’s not you keeping your kids from him. The court will take that into consideration. Document EVERYTHING. NO matter how insignificant you think it is, every little thing adds up and it will paint a pretty good picture. He’s probably used to you doing everything for him and while I commend you trying your best for your kids, his visits are not your responsibility. If he doesn’t call or show up that’s on him. I’d stop communicating with him unless it’s about the kids. Send a simple text, don’t make the calls, because texts last forever and you can show proof that you tried and he failed to respond. Good luck.

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You better talk to your lawyer first. Depending on the state that you live in if you withhold the child from the other parent they can take you to court and get primary custody of the child. But please ask first. I was in this situation and almost lost my children.

Do it through someone else then they need both parents but you both need to sort out an arrangement that suits you both and then if he doesn’t that’s on him

Nope if hes being childish abd unresponsive dont hound him put the kids mental health first let him work his own shit out when he comes back dont let it go back the way it was hes prolly got a new girl and being an ass about ir

Follow all court instructions. Document everything that is happening that isn’t part of the parenting plan and not something you two have verbally/mutually agreed upon. Otherwise seek legal/court counsel.
Make sure you do things the right way, this only helps you and the children in the long run. Also keep all text and voice messages too.

Get a court order for police enforcement of custody and access of a court sees him fit to do so.

If he’s displaying this behaviour he may not be reliable for returning them. Which is cause for concern.

I wouldn’t spend any time trying to give him time.
When he tries, tell him to take you to court. Or simply make an application to the court for custody and access

The bonus is you’ll get child support and peace of mind with regards to a schedule which is important for the kids. And you!
Everyone has lives

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I would not be letting my kids go if there was no way to get a hold of him in regards to your kids while in his care.

Well if you have a court order and he has blocked you then no stop contacting. Since he has blocked you first. If you have a court order maybe let them know. If you do not have a court order, forget about it. There’s nothing that needs to be done

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Depends on if there’s a custody agreement in place already…

He doesn’t have to communicate till pick up really. Go to pick up n drop off at designated times n communicate then

Don’t punish your children because you two can’t get along. If he doesn’t respond to phone call, send a text message so you have a paper trail…if he doesn’t respond and is late by 30min most orders say he forfeits his time. I also know enough that there is more to this story than just what your saying. So before you have everyone thinking he is the bad guy without all the details please think about your children and re-evaluate your behavior in your co-parenting situation and stop any toxic behavior. Maybe mediation and a parenting app needs to be utilized between the two of you.

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Go to court hun or stop bothering, as in, dont withold…just stop chasing your tail trying to find ways to communicate. You’ll likely find he naturally drops off the face of the earth himself.
In the mean time, send texts from your number to confirm the visits, phone once, if you’re blocked, you’re blocked, not your fault. KEEP THAT DOCUMENTATION! You’ll be able to prove you have done your part and won’t be able to accuse you of any wrong doing.

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You should have parenting plan that’s all state parent had to give address phone number ect it a normal requirement in almost all parenting plans

Just wait for him to communicate concerning the children. You know you tried. If they ask… Just say I can’t get through to Dad. When he calls I will make arrangements with him for yourll.

Make your own plans and if you can fit him in if and when he calls the do so or make alternate time schedule.

You cannot control how he is towards the children but you can manage life so you can be your best version of a mother.

It’s hard. Just take one step at a time.

That is legally abandoning his child… He’s already cut all contact with you which is the only way to reach the child. You should look up the laws in your state for filing anything if that’s what you want to do. But you should go after him for child support since he wants nothing to do with raising the child. My ex did the same thing for like a year right after I kicked him out. Then tried for 4 more years to get back with me and that was the only reason he answered and came to see my kids. As soon as I stopped putting in 99% of the effort into him being a father, and calling him every weekend, he completely stopped communicating with me till his gf made him try. But it came out that she was forcing him, he wasn’t doing it because he wanted to and he stopped again. Hasn’t wanted anything to do with them since. Pays child support to keep his license though. Hope everything works out for you.

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Sorry but no. However, I would make contact until you can leave a message for him to contact YOU. then leave it. Just get on with your life until he calls you. Don’t play his childish game.

If he blocked communication with you- essentially blocking his contact person for his kids? F no - no contact means you don’t get to see your kids - stop going the extra mile for this man - let him lay in the bed he made

Go through an agency. Don’t even deal with him.