Question for the mommas that receive child support. My son has been wanting a desktop computer for both gaming and regular computer use and I know in the next few years he’s going to have to start using a computer for school work as well but my fiancé said the only way he’s getting one is if my fiancé is able to build it for him from scratch so he knows the quality will be good. Well my sons dad finally paid all his back support after not paying it for a good 3 years and we were thinking about using some of that towards the desktop for my sons birthday next month. My son has everything he needs and even wants at this point besides the computer. Is it wrong of me to use some of that back support to get my son his computer for a birthday gift? I feel almost guilty for using it and my mom even said if we use some of the back support then we can’t really call it a gift because we didn’t pay for all of it. So would you use some back support to help buy a computer or would you just pay for the whole computer yourself?
You have paid for everything for him for the past 3 yrs (clothes, food, school, extra curricular activities, etc etc) this money that has now been paid is back pay for the past 3 yrs. You are entitled to use the money as you see fit. If you wish to give it as a gift then do so because it is back pay meaning you have used what would’ve been gift money on things that were important at the time.
Use it. Your money has been used to pay for 100% of his needs and wants for the past 3 years. The back pay is him reimbursing u his portion that uve already covered. Ur using it to purchase a gift for ur son is absolutely a gift from YOU!
Pleassssse:roll_eyes: It’s a gift from you. Happy Birthday! The money is for whatever you want to use it for. Honestly if he hasn’t been taking care of him for the past 3yrs I would say the money is yours but I don’t feel like debating these other woman tonight 
I personally would buy him the computer. I mean yes you have been paying for his needs. But I still see it as being his money but I do absolutely see the other fact that you had been covering all his need for that time period.
Absolutely not. That money is for your son. Use it as you see fit. Save the rest or put it in an account for him. But if it’s something he really wants and you don’t have the other funds for it, use the back support !
Nope because the money is being used towards something that your son wants and it’ll be a birthday present. There’s nothing wrong with getting something your son wants.
The money is paying you back for you supporting your son. So it is a gift, because it’s your money
Use the money for computer. It is for your child and it is child support. But if you are conflicted don’t give it to him as a gift. Just give it to him. Give him something else for birthday.
This is back pay…meaning YOU are being reimbursed for expenses you already covered for your child. This isn’t money that your ex is giving you - he is paying you back! It’s your money.
Also - yes, child support can be used for anything your child will want or need.
The money is for him. If he needs a computer, use it to get him or build him one. I think your mom is wrong. You’ve paid for every and now he’s paid what he owed…this can definitely be a gift from you.
I mean I use my $40 a week to pay for streaming services that my daughter watches so 
that’s where my cs goes plus help with other bills, anytime she needs something I use it for that first and if she wants something I use cs as long as she earns that item ( she’s 13 trying to teach her she has to earn her wants). I guess if you feel guilty you can say that his bio dad helped pay for it.
Your money babe so as you please with it. Spend it on your kid, on you, on a vacation, or on what ever the hell you want:two_hearts:
Girl !!!you have been providing for your son for the last 3 years , provided him with a place to leave , food to eat , clothes , school supplies, medical issues etc . YOU HAVE the right to use that money as you PLEASE, you can even get a little vacation for yourself if you want and should not be ashamed/ embarrass or anything like that .
A computer is a great investment and sooner or later you will have to buy it, if you have the founds now BUY IT with the back payment and also buy something nice for yourself…. YOU DESERVE IT
That back child support is essentially a reimbursement for the thi gs you had to buy because your ex didn’t. Your son is a child and does not need a custom built computer. Just go buy him one.
The money is for your son and you have been paying for everything on your own. So this is paying you back his part of everything. It’s your money and it’s coming out of what he owes so it’s yours and it’s a gift from you.
Use that money however you see fit. The years your ex wasn’t paying you supported your child.
Lol tell your mom to keep her opinion to her self. It’s a wrong opinion btw. Use that money as you see fit, birthday or otherwise. Don’t let any outsider guilt trip you!
Use the back support for the pc and give it to him just not as a birthday gift, get him another smaller gift
That money is for your child and the gift is for your child so go for it. If it was the whole amount even as a mom i would be like hmmm but even then. Make ur sons day!
That’s back support owed to you. I would use it
Yep. It’s going towards your baby and his needs! Exactly what it’s intended for!! Don’t even feel bad!! 
Honey he is paying you back money you spent for the last three years.
Nope pay for it with it. It’s for your child
Sure you should, after all it is for him …
Nothing wrong with that,your son be very excited
Child support is for the child… the computer is for him… why would you even think its wrong to spend the child support $ on the child?
The child support you get is for you to use to help put food clothes and roof over his head not to keep it put aside just for him you are the one that has paid for everything for the last few years by yourself and I’m sure what little money you do get for support isn’t much so you need to use the money as you see fit not for what everyone else says it’s for
I don’t see why not. You could spend all of it on yourself and it would be fine cus it’s back support. You already paid for everything he needed up front and now you’re being reimbursed. That present would be from you, not his bio dad.
Its back CHILD support, so spending it on your son is exactly what its for. As long as his other needs are met.
First of all your bf gets no say in what you buy your son. It sounds like he wants to build it so he can claim ownership if you ever break up. I was in a similar situation. Not a computer, it was a car. He used my money to buy it & do repairs. When we broke up he showed receipts showing he paid for it (w/ my money) & got it. Pay for every part of that computer yourself with a card in your or your son’s name.
Second your son doesn’t need a desktop for school. They provide Chromebooks. At least every school I know of does.
Third your mom is crazy. You have been providing for your child’s every need. Child support is partial reimbursement. It’s your money not your ex’s. You can spend it on whatever you want to as long as your child’s needs are met.
The child support is there for you to do with it for your son what ever you want. You have paid for EVERYTHING your son needs for the 3 years you got no child support so think of it as a refund of what you spent already.
To be honest as long as your son is fed, clothe and wants for nothing essential it’s your business what you do with it
Child support is for the child. Computer is for the child. Why is this even a question? Are moms THIS slow? Seriously?
Buy him the computer 
.
Buy the computer with the money you received,
I’m confused as to why your fiance is only willing to get it if he builds it. Not his money. You got child support money, get your son his computer.
Use the back support, that’s money you put out for the 3 years he wasn’t paying…
Just go on Craigslist and find somebody who’s upgrading and are selling their old gaming computer, gamers upgrade every couple years and their old ones are still powerful enough for your son, save $
I would do it but I wouldn’t say it’s a gift. I’d build the computer and give him something else as a gift.
Yes! Use the back child support, why not? Your supposed to use it for the child 5
You don’t need.that loserd permission to use that money that was owed to you for the support of your son. Buy him his computer with a warranty so if it needs any repair you are covered.
Use it your mom was wrong for even saying that it’s not true that money is back pay for everything you been paying for the last 3 year that’s your money you already put out buy him his computer
If your son has what he needs then using the support funds can be used just be fair don’t take credit for getting items you didn’t pay for. Or if it’s this difficult for you to decide then just use your own funds & put the support funds up for when your child is in need. As long as your child’s needs are met.
Your mother needs to mind her own. Child support is for the child, the computer is for the child. Doesn’t matter if you purchase it with child support or your normal work cheque. Child support is money you’ve already spent caring for the child. Rent, food, warm water, hydro, clothing, school supplies, normal every day things you have to pay for. You said he hadn’t paid in 3 years, so for those 3yrs you supported your son alone. You can use this money as you see fit and not one person can say a damn thing about it.
Hey child support is suppose to be used on the child and plus if it back support then it expenses u already covered so use get the computer built and it will be a gift from you
Spending child support on the child……definitely, then put what’s left in a savings account for his future use. First car, collegeor apartment.
When I tell you I don’t explain myself to anyone about how I use my child support ever… it’s no one’s business especially when I do for these kids every day.
Definitely use it. He’s back paying you for what you’ve spent. So spend it to help him with the computer
Yes, I would! The money is directly for your son so you can use it for anything that he wants! He wants a computer he can get it.
That’s a great idea. You shouldn’t feel bad at all. You’re spending the money on him!
I would definitely use the money to get a computer for your son, but I would very hesitant on buying a pre-built computer. I’m only saying this because my husband builds computers because it’s a pain in the butt to find a computer that fits all your needs, games these days played on rhe computer (depending on what games your son plays) require better graphics cards, sound cards, memory, processor, ect. We recently built our 9yo son’s computer for his birthday this month and it cost almost $800, but he got exactly what he needed, plus he got to pick out his own tower case which he was very happy about. I’m not saying don’t use the money to buy a computer, I’m definitely urging you to buy him a computer. I’m just saying it’s better to pick out exactly what parts you will want and need. If you go down the build your own computer, there are various ways you can do that without involving your ex. You can watch YouTube videos on how to pick out the right parts for your needs as well as how to build one yourself. You can also have your son pick out a tower case that he likes and you can find a local electronics shop that can build it to your specs for you. Yes definitely buy him a computer. Yes definitely build it yourself. No don’t involve your ex in the building of the computer because he could try and claim ownership even though it would be a gift. Also if your ex builds it he could put some type of software in it that can spy on the user, which is in fact a thing. My husband has a light version of Spyware that keeps track of how long he’s been on the computer and if he tries to look up things he’s not supposed to and he gets all the info sent to his phone. I’m not saying he flat out would, it’s just a possibility.
That money belongs to you and your son. Your mama heart wants to buy your baby a computer so do it. And it’s still a gift sweetheart. Don’t let your mom into your head. Buy that computer and have a great day setting it up and playing on it together!
Get him the computer and tell him ,his dad paid for part of it
Buy your son the computer & stop telling your mother your business
Heck yes, it’s for him! I say do it
Use that money and don’t feel guilty.
The computer is for him just like the child support do it.
It’s for the child why not
Your mothers logic is flawed.
That back child support isn’t for the child. The child was already supported through the 3 years that his biological father wasn’t paying child support. YOU supported your child, for both parents, through that 3 year time frame. That back child support is reimbursement to you, for you covering the biological fathers portion of child expenses for the last 3 years as well as your own.
If that child has all of his needs met and the majority of his wants, then build him a computer for his birthday.
Besides, once you deposit that back child support to your bank account, there is no differentiating between the money that came from back support versus your income or your fiancés income. Maybe you spend your paychecks on the computer and the back support on rent, utilities and groceries. Maybe you spend your paychecks on rent, utilities and groceries and the back support on the computer. It doesn’t matter, as long as all the needs are met.
Child support is your money for supporting your child do with what you please