Would It Be Disrespectful of Me as a Nanny to Tell the Parents How to Parent?

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"I’m a full time nanny to 2.5 year old triplets. I love them with all my heart. It’s because I love them that I’m seeking some advice on what to do in a situation. Me and the other nanny start at 8am every shift. When we come upstairs to see the kids, we notice that they are in 12 hour old pee diapers and still in their pajamas. Their parents still give them milk in baby bottles and they give them their bottles immediately after getting them out of their cribs. I know if it was me in the kids’ situation, I would want to get changed out of those soggy diapers right away. They are so full that they are falling off the kids and the blue line that shows that the diaper is wet is practically gone. One of the kids has already had a yeast infection and all of them constantly have rashes on their bottoms and genitals. I’m curious as to what I should do to approach this? Is it okay for me as the nanny to tell the parents they should change their kids immediately when they wake up? Is that too disrespectful? My number one concern is the kids’ safety and I’m looking for advice on next steps if I should take them. Thank you for your time!"

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The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.

"I'd mention that sitting in the wet diapers overnight is not helping the ongoing yeast infections…they are neglecting them."

"Absolutely that’s neglect"

"Nope. You absolutely should say something to them or maybe suggest a different diaper brand that’s designed to keep the kids drier overnight"

"That’s a hard one. Do they notice this? Do they talk about the problems? If they don’t even notice. Then maybe approach it with and ‘I am noticing’. It’s not awful to ask them, “may I recommend something that could help hopefully prevent the rashes?”"

"Lay out the diapers and wipes and everything they’ll need to use the next morning before you leave at night and casually say, I’ve left all their bits out for first thing I know it must be hard work getting them all done in the morning so I thought I’d help lighten the load by leaving the stuff out for you/them. Then carry on doing it. Maybe they’ll take the hint"

"That’s neglect. First of all the babies should be potty trained."

"Try to transition to your potty training. Parents are aware and waits for you to change at 8a. I wouldn’t personally do that, but the issue isn’t education here. They’re aware."

"I think it will be how you approach it… obviously if you approach it like I have thoughts on how to parent your child then you may not have a job, my son drinks a ton at night and was soaking through a particular brand of pull ups until we switched and that helped but we were in no way neglecting him or anything of the sort. So I would approach it rather delicately"

"Teach the babies to take off diapers. Start potty training."

"Say something like, “Michael has diaper rash pretty bad, what do you like to use for it? I’ll try that! You know, my niece had that issue too! The only thing that helped her was to change baby right when she got up, otherwise it just got worse.” Make it seem relatable instead of judgemental. Thats what I would do."

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