You must get a grip on her behaviour but not giving her any gifts I wouldn’t have the heart to do
Have you ever dealt with anxiety or depression? If So, you know that’s it’s uncontrollable. especially in children. They can’t control their emotions and they can’t even begin to comprehend what anxiety even means. I think with all of her life changes, she’s going thru some anxiety and/or depression, but her only means of expressing that to you is acting out. Please take up some time with her, just the two of you and don’t add to her anxiety by withholding the one holiday children love the most.
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She is in kindergarten? Have you tried just speaking to her like the adult you want her to become? Maybe get down on her level and have a conversation with her. This could also be something like adhd, or some sort of other mental thing going on. I do think giving zero presents is excessive. She obviously has some things going on and is ONLY 5 years old from what it sounds… and is adjusting to a new baby in the house. Not saying to not punish her… but go easy. She is still SO LITTLE.
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So you state in your post you have an appointment with a Dr to see if there are any underlying things that are causing her to act this way, mentally and physically I’m assuming. How would you feel if you withheld gifts due to her behavior, only to find out she has something going on that she can’t control? I would definitely feel like a shit person if that turned out to be the case. Why not instead of all the gifts you have for her only give her one or two?
She probably going threw alot and does not know how to Express her feelings and the only way she knows how is to act out… by acting out she is getting more and more attention but not the attention that she needs nor is looking for… she is still so very young, she went from having all of mommy’s attention to getting less and less as baby came and she started school full time… try some one on one with her but please DO NOT take away her Christmas
She’s a child for gods sake! Starting school is such a big adjustment and can be stressful let alone also adding a new sibling into your family. She’s probably seeking attention and doesn’t know how to express her feelings because she’s a child. If u think taking away her Christmas presents is going to fix the problem maybe u also need counseling on how to deal with your child and all these adjustments. That’s just sad && wrong.
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Soooo you’re going to ruin a child’s Christmas because she’s had a whole big ass change in her life?! Starting school and having a sibling is A LOT on a five year old child!
And…you told her she can’t watch a show because you’re sick and don’t want to get up?! Get real! Welcome to motherhood. Shit, if anything-letting her watch what she wants while you rest would probably make life easier for you… ha! Then she wouldn’t be screaming and throwing a fit…? 
Smh.
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Try including her with the baby. It really helps kids with jealousy issues. When my older son was born my daughter was 15 months and I always asked her to get a diaper or asked her to help me pick out her little brother’s clothes and such. It helped. I think taking away her gifts would only fuel the fire. She’s already jealous and feeling upset because she isn’t the main focus anymore, why make it harder on yourself? When my son was having issues acting out and throwing fits, we started a parent/child therapy that really helped. It was all about how to correct unwanted behaviors and it worked wonders. It was called something like PCIT therapy or something like that.
Nope. You do what you feel is right. Christmas presents are a requirement. They are for good kids and if you want to act a fool you don’t get any. Age can be a factor though. Finding the underlying issue
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That is excessive and would make her resent you having a baby more. You need to spend 1 on 1 time with her in some way.
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Dont do that. I was that kid whose mom gave nothing on christmas due to behavior. I watched my siblings open presents and i got nothing. I will never forget that moment. After that our relationship broke and we havent spoken in 15 years (shes done it twice) and when she dies I will happily dance on her grave. U think it’s a small thing and u want be righteous but to a kid they will never forget ( at 5 shes old enough to remember) and they will hate u. I still go to therpay and my therapist says thats emotional and mental child abuse.
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It’s her only way of expression…since she obviously doesn’t know how to talk to you with words about what she’s feeling. I wouldn’t take her christmas away…she could later connect it with bad feelings.
Kind of like, if the acting out is because of how she feels about the baby…She could later associate Christmas being taken away because of the baby, because you don’t think she’s as important as the baby. It could add to the negative feelings
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I’m doing that this year. My son was kicked out of daycare for it. His gifts he will need to bring to a friend of mine who couldnt afford xmas.
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5…5…she’s 5
Chill the hell out.
How is it not common sense that there is an underlying issue…
Jealousy, insecurities, I mean damn maybe she’s on the spectrum if she’s throwing 2 hour fits
If you think there is an underlying problem, then no. It may be something out of her control. I suggest finding out the root problem. You don’t use Christmas as a punishment.
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Try happy mommy sad mommy. Happy mommy picks her up from school and does something she likes . Watching her favorite show WITH her ,playing a game ext. Sad or mad mommy isn’t fun . She takes thing away , gives timeouts, . Then there is also tired mommy . This mommy needs help and can be grouchy. TOGETHER with her help fix dinner , take care of baby ,
This will also help her in understanding her on feelings and give her some control by you telling her how she is making you feel
If you feel its an underlying issue, why punish her for something that is out of her control?
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I think taking away Christmas will just confirm to her that’s she’s not important in the family. She won’t understand the cause and affect. I’m sorry you’re going through this and feeling overwhelmed. Although you’re at your wits end, she needs you to be her rock. She needs to be able to fall apart and know that absolutely no matter what, her Momma will always be there for her and love her. You say you’re super sick. She may be scared because Mommy’s sick, there’s a new baby, and all of her stability is gone. You’re right to make an appointment for her. I hope it really helps your family and I hope you feel well soon. Hang in there Momma. 
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Wow. I’m seriously appalled by this comment section. One woman even said “so she won’t be scarred with the memory of no gifts”. That’s insanity. This is the reason why our kids are growing up so entitled. Fucking crazy that y’all are all trying to convince this woman to reward her child for acting out so terribly. Crying at school and being such a disruption that she has to go to half days? And over two hours of fits at home? Um, no. Hell no. I say give her clothes and books for her gifts, if she gets anything at all. But you need to sit down with her and convey to her that she is not going to be rewarded for acting crazy. That’s not how we act as normal human beings, and when she can act normally, she can have gifts or whatever. But do not give in to the peer pressure of these parents. YOU are the one who knows what’s going on in YOUR home. I know you know what’s right.
I dont agree every child needs Christmas. She wont believe. Remember she is 5 not 15. There are other ways to punish her. They say hit them where they live. What does she do or have that means the world to her. Chores no tv. There is alot you can do with a 5 year old
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I would do what you feel is right. Dont reward bad behavior. I like the idea above that says the coal in the stocking. But too do you think she may be jealous? There seems to be alot of changes from the new baby to starting school maybe shes overwhelmed as well. Maybe she needs one on one mom and dad time. It’s hard hot being the only one anymore and something they dont understand.
You don’t take her Christmas away because YOU changed her whole world. First kindergarten, then a new baby. She’s having a tough time adjusting.
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Well does she still believe in Santa? Enforce the Santa rules. Maybe less gifts and have Santa leave a note explaining why less? I know I took away my daughters whole birthday party because she started kindergarten and lost her damn senses. It stopped and she is and excellent student now. Birthdays don’t have Santa though.
It’s in the Christmas song Santa’s coming to town, I’d sing her that song and then I would explain to her the reasoning behind the song. You know way back in the days when people didn’t have much to give and children were so much more respectful it was ok to give so little and children were fine with it but nowadays the way kids are is just ridiculous. I would definitely hold back on giving her a bunch of gifts especially when she’s been acting out in that fashion she knows right from wrong and when your bad you should be reprimanded for it. So I’d give her 1 gift a decent one though, one that possibly keeps her busy and that’s all I’d give her until you see some change. Tell her that good little girls who have changed their ways after having such a bad Christmas that Santa will return on New Years and bring her more gifts the ones she would have gotten if only she’d been good. So anywho that’s what I’d do. Good luck !!
Sounds like there’s been a lot of change lately. She’s having a hard time adjusting. School and a new baby? That’s a lot for a small child.
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I’d give her no presents on christmas and tell her your holding them till you see her behavior change.
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LOL really? And you think that’s gonna help how? She’s too young to understand what you’re talking about. That’s ridiculous. 
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Going thru this with my 6 yr old grandson his fits get worse we have done everything even the counciling nothing is working he ran into traffic not to long ago and almost got hit by 2 cars one in each direction DCF has been involved thru all of this mom rewards his bad behavior he has lashed out at his teachers the on campus sheriff was called in but nothing has helped yet I also want to add that he hates his mom’s bf when it is just me and him you couldn’t ask for a better kid but the minute some one else show’s up it act out time he hit me in my face with a pack of cards he swears at us and uses the f word
Children dont know how to handle big emotions. A new baby and being sent off to school is reason enough for big emotions. I imagine she feels a great deal of separation anxiety and jealousy.
Holidays full of presents can be extra over stimulating. So you probably aren’t going to see better behavior. And taking them away will make a punishment for not knowing how to handle emotions all the more severe.
Why not handle the holidays with extra cuddles and snuggles for the big sibling. Give gifts through out the day rather than all at once. But prioritize attention to the older child? And maybe work on doing that a little more every single day.
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I think that’s just cruel. She’s had two huge adjustments in three months. That’s a lot for a 5/6 year old. And the fits definitely sounds like there’s an underlying problem like an emotional disorder. Have you tried spending one on one time with her? Or made sure dad/grandparents are?
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Personally, I would tell her Christmas is on hold until a she can behave properly for a set amount of time ( days/ weeks) that way she can earn her Christmas back ( not just her Christmas on hold, the whole homes Christmas)
If she has a therapist meeting…why cancel Christmas? Obviously something is going on with her. Don’t be cruel.
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Way too many spoiled and entitled kids. I think the “parents” forget that the basis of Santa is about good behavior, the naughty and nice list. If you the parent aka Santa don’t feel her behavior warrants presents and being on the nice list, then do what’s right and she doesn’t get any Santa gifts. Santa could leave her a letter explaining her gifts are being held back because of her behavior thst she has x amount of time (until new years eve I think) to turn it around and they’ll still be delivered but if not she won’t be getting any presents from him. It’s your personal feelings about if family or if mom gives her any gifts.
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You have a doctor’s visit for January, I would just hang on…let her have santa…maybe video her having these melt down, show her what she looks like
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As a child who got to open Christmas gift and then get them taken away the next day or over the course of the next few days and never see them again, please dont. Just dont. You don’t repair that kind of damage after it is done, those are unseen scars that don’t heal.
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Sounds like she’s just a brat.
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I would be upset to if I were her because it seems like all your attention is going to the baby, she needs your one on one time too. I know u dont feel good but how hard is it to turn on a tv or change the channel in the other room. Pick your battles, but first give her some attention & love. You chose to have a baby not her. Why should she be punished because you cant handle them both. She needs affection not Christmas canceled because it sounds like you are causing her outbursts.
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Don’t cut any child’s Christmas presents off. she sounds like she’s having trouble adjusting. Taking away presents would just make what ever she’s feeling now much worse. Talk to her, love her, say Merry Christmas and give all your children presents. Taking one child’s joy away would just make her hate her whole family.
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Take her out of school she isnt ready. Let her get to know the baby.
When my youngest was born my 3.5 yr old regressed a ton but we changed for her. She was going potty on the toilet and went back to diapers. Her speech classes were pushed later in the day and with another child. These changes helped.
Kids don’t know how to Express feelings like adults do (and many adults have problems). Taking her to see someone could help but you need to adjust to her needs.
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give some presents and a letter from santa saying that shes close to being on the naughty list. And that if she works on her behavior over the next month, he will make a special trip out to your house just for her (to drop off the rest of her christmas presents)
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What in the world is wrong with you I’m sorry but that’s def extreme to not give her presents she could just be going through a stage or something because she’s no longer getting your undivided attention now that there is a new kid in the home I would honestly just be patient and try everything before resulting to this
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Sounds like she doesn’t know what to do with some big feelings. My son is 5 & his baby sister is 11months. During that transition or times when baby is needing me more I try to slowwwwww down. I talk to him even more, we read more, I involve him in chores in a fun way with music, & try to have one on one time when dad gets home etc. It isn’t easy because I knowwwwww you are worn out but it pays off. I notice better behavior almost immediately. It is like he just was feeling unseen or unsure of his own feelings. Also staying veey consistent with time out helps us. I stay calm (even if I feel like screaming) sit him in time out for 4 or 5 min. Then we calmly talk. May have to do that over & over daily for a little bit but that consistency is so helpful. Keep Christmas normal. 
I had PPD as well so it was sooooo hard to be consistent or function some days past what was 100% needed. Feel free to PM me if you want to vent or more details. I get it. It will get better . You clearly love your babies & there have been a lot of changes . Xoxo
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My mom always said " when children are their worst is when they need you the most".
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You’re taking her to psych yet your asking if you should take away her presents? Doesn’t that answer your question right there? Maybe she has a hard time controlling herself because of mental issues. If that’s not enough of a punishment for your sweet girl, I don’t know what is. God, you need a license for everything but nothing for being a parent!
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From personal experience it sounds like she’s trying to get attention even if it’s “bad attention”, try more 1 on 1 activities with her when the baby naps or something.
I have a 4 year old and a 1 year old, my 4 year old acts out terribly if he’s having a bad day, as I’m not getting much attention or much needed activities, on top of the jealousy, huge need of parental activities, he’s got adhd, he’s super hyper and active, outdoor play has been our life saver. Running around, throwing snowballs together.
Calm activities help too, coloring, learning games ect.
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This is called childhood jealousy & anxiety, she needs a pediatric psychologist not psychiatrist. Try doing some one on one mommy & me time with her bc it sounds like she desperately needs it.
Presents are a privilage not a right, however taking them away bc your child just wants your attention is a bit much IMO.
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She might need more attention. More love
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Well, for one…there are alot of emotional changes going on and instead of being an ignorant fool… u need to understand and help her adapt to the changes. Maybe u need to go toncounselling and realize that a new baby is a very big change for a toddler…its not just a toy or brother or sister but time taken away,less attention,less love and affection!!! Use borth control until you can comprehend what your child is going through emotionally!
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Judging by a lot of these comments, many don’t understand mental health issues. This is why there is such a stigma. It’s heartbreaking to read some of these, and I pray none of you ever have to deal with it. For your sanity and your child’s.
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She is 5. Her brain isn’t developed enough to control her emotions. Don’t punish her and withhold love because you are frustrated. Make the gift simple or small, but it’s important she knows you care.
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Tell her Christmas was moved back until further notice! No way she should act that way! She needs to understand your time needs to be divided between the new baby and her and she needs to be the big sister now and help mommy out!!! … I would not put up with that she wants to cry and scream put her upstairs let her cool off when she’s done and wants to act right she can come down and apologize
I would never take away Christmas from my child no matter what! Theres a new baby AND she started ALL day school, thats a LOT for a 5 yr old to deal with! Spend one on one time with her. Let her help with the new baby. Reward her for GOOD behavior! Even adults get rewards, promotions and raises.
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You weirdo who does that to a child on Christmas
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Imagine you getting your Christmas taken away because you just want attention from your parents that have been giving their time to a new baby and you don’t know how to handle these big feelings so you act out and throw tantrums.
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Part of having a kid is learning their language. She’s trying to tell you that she’s miserable but doesn’t have the words to explain. Have you asked her (when she’s calm) what happened? Bet she’s feeling replaced by the new baby, got sent to school because nobody wants her around any more, and figured out that she gets more time with you because she was bad at school. Her teacher is doomed! 
If my scenario is correct, she needs a reward system for good behavior at school and a reward at home for the teacher’s rewards. Like, punch a pillow instead of a classmate. Removal from classroom at the first scream, (remove her from her audience) but over it and ready to come back in XX minutes as decided by teacher and you is a good thing. If she learns to ask to leave before a meltdown, you win! But address mommy time that baby is too little to share, and maybe a regular date with daddy just to reminder that she’s welcome in her home.
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Please don’t take away Christmas from a kindergartener! I’d bet that her behavior issues trace back to a lack of structure & consistency in parenting throughout her life! Not to mention that she has a new sibling, major life change by the way, and has had to start all day kindergarten, another major life change. You need to look at your parenting structure first and foremost, that’s where you’ll find the answers.
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It sounds like she needs some one on one time. A lot just changed and it can be overwhelming. Don’t let her feel left out or unwanted. She may just need some attention.
She needs attention, love, and support. I promise I understand. My daughter was miserable for her 14 months and it was incredibly hard on our son. We had a lot of therapy. The more negativity you show her, the more she will act out. She needs consistency and one on one time. Trust me, I get it. Easier said than done but that’s what she needs. She needs extra love. She’s acting out because she’s figured out that’s how she gets your attention. She has no idea how to deal with her feelings.
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Oh lawd… you do this and sit back and enjoy the behavior to be 10 times worse cause you just verified in her tiny developing mind that you love the baby more than her.
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Umm she is 5 so yea that’s kind of excessive. 5 is still young she is going to get jealous of her younger sibling and it can cause problems in school to. If she was like 8 then yea I’d understand, but she is 5.
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What good is punishing her going to do. How are her Christmas gifts and behavior related??
If you get a speeding ticket…or get upset should i take away all your gifts?
You need to figure out what is triggering the behavior and redirect and help her learn how to cope.
Punishing her is only a short term fix! Work on fixing the real issue!
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We are on the verge of taking away our sons Christmas. He is beyond reproach! And no one understands how terrible it’s been. Sssssoooo many write ups at school, violent at home. I’m at my wits end with him! It’s easy to judge unless you’re in those shoes. Then you get EMPATHY, which alot of these commenters lack.
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She is only five. A lot has changed in her life and she is expected to just adjust.
Unless you want to mess her up completely, do not take away Santa coming for Christmas. She is 5. That is just mean and will do no good in the long run.
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I understand how tough it can be. Mine are 16months apart and the oldest is 4 1/2. But they’re kindergartners. They’re still too young to be fully held responsible. Their brains aren’t fully formed; they just cant hold them selves together all the time.
I vote to give the kid the presents. They’re only young once and not giving her presents on Christmas because shes been naughty might actually do more damage behaviorally
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Sounds like you’ve been a bit neglectful of your first born daughter. Try spending some actual time with her. You had a baby, started her in full time school and can’t be bothered to get up because you’re sick? You need some parenting classes and that poor baby needs her mommy.
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No disregard
Validation
Secure
Need quiet time with just u
My 3 yr old similar but not to extreme
He literally says I want u
I have a newborn too
And sick
Regarding tantrums give her a huge lay down with her and take a nap…still no show
Half days for school is better
I think u need a sticker chart for good behavior
And still Christmas presents
With more hugs and kisses:heartpulse:
Decorate a gingerbread house with her…she feels very much left out
Let her help with baby…like hand u a diaper or show her his outfits and she chooses
It helps my situation
He really sweetheart but he loves his baby brother. Hes 3
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I can tell by the comments that some of you parents are the type to let your child run crazy in Walmart throwing stuff all over the place, crying and disrupting everything and everyone in sight while you do absolutely nothing about it!
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I say it is a little much. Considering there is a new baby in the house I think she deserves some slack. I just had my baby 9 weeks ago and I have a 5 year old who just started school too and she has definitely been acting out. They really do just want more attention and More Love
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When kids seem the least lovable, that’s when they need our love the most. Having a new sibling is hard. Starting school is hard. Her entire life just got upended and she’s trying to communicate with you. All behavior is communication, so what’s she trying to say? Seems like she feels out of control to me and is trying desperately to gain some. Offering choice in every way possible would be a good first step. Withholding Christmas would almost definitely make things worse.
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I agree with everyone else about not taking Christmas away, but I also couldn’t help but notice in your post you wouldn’t turn a show on for her… I get you’re sick but sick parents still has to do things for their kids. I know it’s just tv but imagine being a child who can’t do something for themselves but your parent won’t help you either, something as simple as turning a show on for you. Sometimes us parents get lazy too and don’t wanna do things for our kids that are actually quite simple, because we’re just exhausted, but I would make sure you’re not telling her no to everything. Pick and choose what you so quickly say no to because they rely on us for help and if we don’t do it then no one does. I just think turning a show on for her is an easy thing to do. Why say no? Besides being sick, but it doesn’t take long, plus if you’re so sick then that tv show will entertain her and allow you to get some rest? 
Try to say yes as much as you can (about things that don’t matter and aren’t big deals) so when you say no she takes it more seriously because she’s not constantly hearing her parents tell her no to things that are very little and insignificant. Be firm with what matters and is important. Also sounds like she could use more positive reinforcement, everything she does good TELL her, even little things! So she feels loved. That way when she does get in trouble she knows it’s because she was actually being bad and doesn’t feel like she never gets attention except for when she’s being bad. You can’t only notice her negatives.
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She needs some attention. Kids are allowed to have feelings and bad days too. Do you try to talk to her while she is having a hard time or you just leave her to comfort herself? You said she had a melt down because you didn’t want to get up and put on a show for her basically because you just didn’t want to move. But you had the energy to bag up all of her toys and “throw them away” in your car trunk. I’m sure you are tired from having a baby, mine are 3 years apart so I remember those years but you have to be able to have some balance so she has some of you too. She is asking you for that now.
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Santa can leave a note and coal bubble gums and say when your behavior improves I’ll drop off your gifts because I work year round.
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Your child needs love. It’s hard to be so patient and positive bc you are overwhelmed with a new baby but your daughter sounds like she’s acting out for attention. She needs time with just you. Many children regress when a sibling is born bc it’s not all about them anymore. Now with the added stress of school especially if this is her first year in school it is a lot for a little person who has an overwhelmed and very distracted mommy. I would not take presents away. I would try to be more strict when necessary but you need to give her things to work toward and look forward to like movie night at home with mommy and daddy or game night etc. She’s way too young to understand how to tell you how she is feeling. I am more concerned that you are planning on taking her to a psychiatrist! I think that is the completely wrong decision she is way too young to be getting into that. She needs to know you need her and want her too rather than so much negativity toward her she’s still very small. Work on your connection with her and give her some presents.
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She wouldn’t understand why you took away Christmas… Shes figuring out her emotions. She needs unconditional love and acceptance
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I would definitely get a really exciting amazing present for her a theme/cartoon she is obsessed with get her something related along… show her that you love her and doesnt matter how difficult she was or is you still love her care for her appreciate her. Momma kids are a blessing being naughty or mischoevious or not you are lucky!!! So many women cant have kids… so count your blessing. I think this is a cry out fot attention and affection:heart: pay more att to her compliment her reward her instead of correcting her getting tired or fed up with her tantrums and behaviour. Do the complete opposite as if she was the most perfect child even if she has a mental health or behavioural issue be the best most understanding mom you can be!!
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You are her mother! You do what you see fit
And it’s none of anyone else’s business! Period!
Good luck bc it sounds like you definitely need it. I personally wouldn’t tolerate any of that for a second! I recommend taking any and all electronics and lots of standing in a corner
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Never. There is something going on. Needs worked out and with boundaries set. Maybe do something, go look at lights or something, just the two of you, and talk to her. What is she feeling? What is really happening at school, etc.
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I’m an old school parent my advice doesn’t go over well with most of the young parents here. 
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Mercy Lady…It’s Christmas
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I would give her 1 thing, and that would it. At that age I knew not to throw fits like that. And if I had, I would have got nothing. 1 thing and done.
You will make it worse by not allowing her to have a Christmas. You stated it’s been worse since your second child was born… this can be a very emotional thing for a child. She went from an only child getting all the attention to the attention being shifted from her and being shared with her sibling- that could be why her behaviour is getting out of hand (an emotional response to try and get the attention she wants and/or feels she is not getting). Trust me I truly understand where you are coming from as I went through the same thing with my daughter and finally was at my wits end and got her into a psychiatrist where she was diagnosed with ADHD and put on medication and now the tantrums and outbursts are under control. Tantrums are children’s response to something bigger as they are not fully able to express their emotions the way an adult can. Let your child enjoy Christmas… you’ll make it that much worse for her.
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Yes it would be my son is going through the same thing turns out he’s adhd and odd and needed a 504
I see more negative comments than helpful ones? She isn’t saying shes gonna do that. Shes asking what’s the best route or action to take.
What I did one year was wrap Christmas presents and then I hide them. I turned around and bought charcoal and gift boxes. I started wrapping the coal filled boxes and put them under the tree. On Christmas morning my children opened the coal filled boxes and had crying fits. After 20 minutes they calmed down and I talked to them about their behavior. Once they understood they were acting bad/horrible they got their real presents. They never acted that way again. My kids were 10, 8 and 5 at the time. The are now 18,16 and 13
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Not getting her anything may make her worse and feed into this issue.
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Have you made a therapy appointment for yourself?
She is the product of her environment. Seriously a psychiatrist? Unless you’re having her tested for IQ reasons, a child that young doesn’t need one, she needs her mother to not be an ass.
I’ve said this on so many post!!! You do what you think is write mama!!! If you think thanking away his christmas presents are the answer then you do it!!!( and for all you a saying no this holiday is about family being together not the gifts stop being so materialistic) as long as the child is still loved and cared for taking away presents for bad behavior is perfectly fine. They need to learn that they cant do what ever they want and get away with it. If you let a child run a muck and still give them presents on christmas that doesn’t teach them anything. What happens when they are older and get a job, if the dont do it right they dont get a raise of Christmas bonus or hell even fired. Same principle if that’s how this mama wants to teach her child then by all means mama you teach!!! Every family is different what will work for one family might not work for another!!! You do you mama and good luck with what ever you decided!!
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I’m literally in the same exact boat. My oldest just started kindergarten, have a 3 year old step son whose with us full time and a newborn. Behaviors have gotten pretty out of control. For 1. She’s exhausted from long days, two there has been a huge disruption at home (new baby) and 3. She’s FIVE. She needs love, attention, time alone with you, and help handling her emotions. Christmas is such a special holiday, and only once a year. It’s frustrating, I get it, but try working with her versus taking massive disciplinary actions.
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It is up to you how you want to handle the situation it is not acceptable for a child to be acting like that especially if they are if school age and should be able to understand that there is a little one that needs a little more time if I was in your situation I wouldn’t give her a single thing but it is up to how you feel about the situation not any one else, you’re trying the best you can
For one, I noticed you said “she has been acting out since her sister was born”… Is she feeling some sort of way that you’re unaware of? Was she an only child going to having another baby taking all mom and dads attention in her eyes? Have you sat down and talked to her about why she has been acting this way? I only ask because we went through the same thing after I had my daughter, our youngest who got bumped up to big sister acted out HORRIBLE!!! She is extremely jealous of her younger sister still and felt left out towards the beginning. I also included her in diaper changes, picking outfit for the day, bath time or anything that I could make her feel like she was helping. My daughter was just starting kindergarten when I had her sister.
It’s a pretty big transition not only for us, but for siblings as well. I would try to make a special day for just you and her if possible and maybe take her to lunch or something. Something to make her feel like she still can have time with her mommy. 
I personally think it’s a little extreme to not get her anything if something is causing her to act this way…
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I argee , give something just as big as you planned. You cant redo Christmas and it does sound like there is more to her behavior that wont be “fix” before that. Pace yourself mama, this not easy for you or her. It will get figured just maybe not as fast as you hope for.
That’s a whole lot of change going on for her right now. Between new baby and then going to a new school and in turn a new routine she is probably having a difficult time dealing with changes and frankly taking stuff away from her like Christmas is just going to give her more anxiety.
You need to sit down and have alone time and talk to her about how shes feeling and then create a plan to help her.
It’s good you’re getting a psychologist but even a counselor could do wonders and help you form plans that your daughter understands and can follow through.
I also recommend joining a “gentle” parenting group 
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Maybe it’s something bigger than temper tantrums. My 13 year old used to have full blown meltdowns turned out she had sensory issues.
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I’d say the idea that you need a medical professional to help with her behavior is a sign that she’s not your average 5 year old acting up. Additionally she just started school and had a new sibling that’s two huge adjustments that she clearly isn’t handling well. She seems unable to self regulate and you taking away Christmas as a last ditch effort to curb her behavior that she is unable to control is not going to fix it. If fact giving everyone else Christmas presents and excluding her will help solidify to her that her place in your newly bigger family is as threatened as she feared. You clearly can’t handle her behavior and you need to seek out help to learn how to help her and how to parent her.
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She just started school and a new sibling. Give her a break. She’s got a lot going on. She’s still a baby and adjusting to life. Yes what she is doing isn’t okay but obviously something is going on.
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Do not deny your little Christmas. The problem is all of the change all at once is causing the meltdowns. Give her extra love and attention.
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you still need to buy her something, however if it was my child i would tell her that until she gets her act together she’s not getting it.
Taking presents it’s not taking Christmas away. Christmas isn’t the presents. She’s still to have dinner and enjoy time with the family and do absolutely everything else.
Naughty children are not supposed to get presents.
I would tell her santa is reconsidering and see how she responds.
Rewarding bad behaviour is exactly how children grow up to be entitled.
If you are taking her present though you should NOT be punishing her in any other ways.
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Just here to say, too much love never hurt anyone and too much love never spoiled anyone.
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Christmas isn’t about gifts guys… if she feels it’s right, then she can. Still give her the experience, but Santa isn’t supposed to reward this behavior, and neither are parents. Maybe don’t take the gifts until after they’re opened. Use it as a punishment for when she acts like this. The brand new stuff being taken away might be motivation for her. Depending on how old the new baby is, she could very well still be having trouble adjusting. Took my son months to fix his behavior back to normal. But jealousy and change is no excuse for certain actions. He still got disciplined every time. Teach her to verbalize more and have more conversations with her without the baby. Take her to lunch here and there. Makes a huge difference (if that’s the root of her problem)
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