So question I’m 22 my bf is 22 we have been together for six years we have two handsome boys a three-month-old and a two-month-old we live on our own n we love another deeply… he says he doesn’t wanna get married until we have our own house. Which I completely understand. So my question is engagement, would it be weird if I ask him to marry me? He didn’t say we couldn’t get engaged lol. He told me tho if I ask him he would say know he told me that almost a year ago. Should I play it safe n not ask him or go for it TIA
I just want to know how you have a 2 month old and a 3 month old😕
okay, dumb question two handsome boys are they dogs?
Don’t propose or get married that young if he’s not taking action dont clearly he’s not ready
Ask him and if he says no, then what?? Y’all already live together and have children together so why can’t he make that commitment? Wtf is a " house " gonna do, Make him love you more?? That’s an excuse because he doesn’t want to MARRY you.
So he had no problem having babies before you’re married , but is adamant you have a house first ?! He’s got his priorities mixed up.
Ok one more thing how is it possible to have a 2 month old and a 3 month old… Answer please???
Won’t anyone else ask about the 2 month old and 3 month old?
If that’s what you want to do. If you choose to do so, I’d make it clear that it’s just an engagement not about getting married right now. But keep in mind, even tho he is 22, men do not mature as fast as women. My husband is just now ready to get married and he’s 31 I’m 28, 4 kids and been together almost 9 years. Not everyone is the same.
He said he would say no… Clearly it’s not a great idea…
There’s an awful lot of “he says” In all of that.
I would not even bother. It sounds like he is really immature because 6 years of dating? He has no reason to marry you. I would move on with my life because are you willing to go 6 more years unmarried and have two more children? You aren’t even concerned with being a single parent at this point but you should be! I would leave the manchild and work on myself. Clearly you have self esteem issues that you need to heal from.
Take what you want if he truly love your he will be much happier than you
Go back to school, get an education… kind of judgey but obviously you don’t know grammar and worry about your children, he is not going to say yes.
Make sure he understands that an engagement has NO TIME LIMIT! Some men think they have to be married asap which is not the case.
I guess he just wants to do everything backwards. Baby then house then marriage lol… In all reality though, it sounds like he just doesn’t think you’re the one. There’s nothing stopping y’all from getting married, having a house first sounds like stalling bs to me. He was okay having a baby before y’all have a house, what’s the big deal about having a house before marrying you? It would be different if y’all hadn’t already procreated, then if see him wanting to be responsible and able to care for you and a future family. Now it’s too little too late for all that nobility.
I wouldn’t bother to get married at all
I wouldn’t do it hun. Just wait. You still have alot of life ahead of you.
First thing I noticed is a 3 month old and a 2 month old. He cheated!?
You should leave. If you are good enough to have kids with and not good enough to marry move on
Question is why didn’t he wait to make children if he don’t own a house yet
Girl ure still young 4 marriage, am also 22 n my bf is 24 n we both not ready 4 marriage cos of our age
Don’t ask him. He’s told you what he’ll say. Don’t hurt yourself. If now is happy and loving then don’t push
Sounds like he doesn’t want to commit fully. But he is alright with making you play wife but not commit to the relationship. If that’s what you want to each their own.
Ok, so how do you have 2 kids that are a month apart? Did he have a child with someone else? Did you two become guardians of someone else’s child? I’m trying to understand your family dynamic to understand what y’all got going on…
But besides the children, if he said he wants to wait until you two have your own house, it means you’ve spoken about marriage already and he’s not ready till those terms are met. Now whether he’s telling the truth or not, you know that deep down. Some men really do want to be in a better place before tying the knot and some will just lead you on to shut you up. I’ll also say this… if he said he’ll say “know” (no) a year ago￼, what do you think will change his answer this time around? Engagement is no different then saying you’re getting married it’s literally the step you take to show the world that you intend on getting married. It’s not two separate entities￼￼ LoL
Find you a man man that loves you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you and that man will marry you
Move on, he does not want marriage or that kind of actual commitment. But, I fear, sadly, that you will stay with him anyway to the detriment of yourself and your child. In the end, you will have all that time lost and it will be harder on your child.
Why are you good enough to bare two children for him but your not good enough to marry. He didn’t wait to have kids if he wants to marry you he will regardless of having a home that you own or not, me personally would not propose.
How do u have a 3 month old and a 2 month old
Sounds little desperate
If you are asking for engagement bcz you don’t feel secure in your relationship then may be you need to talk and work it out
If you want to get married may be you should open up about the way you feel like he did
Asking for engagement should be special for both of you
Ur dumb as person godness sake ur priority should be ur kids now not ur lalaland asking him to marry u or get engagement if he interested he would marry u long time ago girl prioritize ur children or go educate urself so u have something to show when ur kids all grown up
Sounds like you’re wanting to push the issue now, when he told you he’d say no a year ago, because you want the question settled.i think deep down you already feel as though he is waiting for somebody else.
Stop! Why do you have a 3 month old and a 2 month old? How is that possible? Weird twin delivery or you guys have not been together a solid 6 years. It’s more likely that latter, in which case, sounds like you want this engagement to solidify your insecurities of the relationship and give yourself a higher title than his other baby mama. Focus on the kids, focus on the house. Those are the things that will bring you together and achieve lifetime “wifey” status
Ok not sure how you have a 2 month old AND a 3 month old??? But waiting to get married until you have bought a house makes no sense. Being married will HELP you get approved for a loan for that house. He doesn’t have correct information. food for thought.
She asked a question. She doesnt need put down. Kindness Peps
If you wait to buy a house you’ll be waiting for ever why wait doesn’t change anything the way you feel about each other
U ha a 3 mo old and a 2 mo old. Wow how did ua manage that one?
How you got a 2 and 3 month old? Who was cheating
The ages of your have got to be wrong? I wouldn’t waste my time…he’s already said no …and your only 22 !! I’d look after myself and my kids forget him
If he hasn’t asked you by now he isn’t worth it!
A man that finds a wife finds a good thing. ITS HIS PLACE TO PROPOSE NOT YOURS. HES NOT READY DO NOT PUSH IT OR YOU WILL LOSE HIM BY PUSHING HIM AWAY. IF HES EVEN SERIOUS
I wouldn’t even bother! Mine said the same thing, to wait till he got his house built…the house was built almost two years ago and we had an argument 3 months ago and he revealed he never wants to get married. So don’t break your own heart and don’t even ask him because you already know what the answer is in your heart.
Steve Harvey did a talk about this very issue. You putting up with his non commitment is the problem. Tell him that you are no longer comfortable with the arrangement and it’s time to make a decision. You’re traditional woman and you value marriage and family and it’s time to find that elsewhere if he will not give that to you freely. Tell him your truth and be serious about the conflict in values. If he feels threatened and loves his life with you he will propose…
He didn’t want to wait to have kids until you had your own place but wants to wait to get married? He should’ve had your own place after the first kid. He’s just making excuses.
Uh if you’ve been together for 6 years how y’all have a 3 month old and a 2 month old?
Try discussing it with him again?
Wow !! What a bunch of hateful comments!!!
He told u he would say no… (or in this spelling “know”) so … why ask?
Don’t do it !!! You’re still young…
If he wanted to marry wouldn’t that have come up by now?
If you ask, you’ll know where he stands. Prepare for it to go either way. Best of luck though! You do your thing and if it feels right, go for it. Maybe he is afraid to make the first move. Doesnt matter though. You do what you think is best
He is using “buying a house” as a stall tactic. Once you guys reach that goal of buying a house, he will come up with another reason to hold off. Something along the lines of “we just bought a house, and can’t afford to get married”. You are young. Focus on yourself and kids. Make it your goal to provide a stable and secure future for yourself and children. You want to be able to be self-sufficient, and not have to depend on anyone else. I have seen so many young girls fall into this same situation. The only person you can fully depend on is yourself.
I don’t understand how anyone thinks marriage is a bigger commitment than having children together…canny marry you but let’s have 2 kids🤔
Together FIRST for over 25 years then had 2 boys together. I never felt the need to get married as I was confident in myself. We ended up getting married then separated 2 years after getting married. No regrets in how I did things. The worst he can say is no so do what you feel you need to do!
For better or for worse, it doesnt seem like he is ready. And if he’s not ready, then the engagement is not a good idea. Marriage is a huge commitment, and marrying the wrong person, or at the wrong time just causes confusion. Whether you stay or go, you do have to focus on what is most healthy. And forcing a commitment never ends well.
I would say he wants to be the one to ask
Maybe he just isn’t ready for marriage? We all move at different paces, just tall to him about it dont propose, he might want to propose to you and he might also be traditional and think its his place, dont pressure him into it that’s not fair either just have an adult discussion. Let him know/make him aware it’s still something you want to do. I know people who have been together for longer than that before they got married
Marriage is just a title it’s not more serious then having kids. Marriages can end. But children never leave
It wouldn’t be weird but… Why hasn’t he asked?
Stick to old fashioned let men do wat they do get on dat knee boyeeee if he’s not ready & u r then u should consider moving forward alone
Trust your instincts & ability but don’t make a permanent decision on your temporary emotion
Why do you have so many kids with a person who isn’t committed to you? Just because you get engaged doesn’t mean you will get married. I think there are other things you should concern yourself with. If the real reason is a house help contribute to getting one. Don’t ask, because if he doesn’t embarrass you by saying no. It will be a long engagement. Your kids might get married b4 you do.
He was OK when he was making babies without a home, now he’s making not having a house an excuse
Good heavens. Girl, have some self respect. He has told you No.
It’s not up to us to advise you, but no means no. You need to understand that.
How do you have a 3month old and a 2month old??
Also if you live on your old…whats the problem? A “buying a house” is not the problem… It woukdnt matter…
My sister proposed to her partner a year ago they got married last weekend.
He was shocked and happy she proposed because he didn’t think she was ready to be engaged that’s why he held off.
If it’s what you are wanting to do and are happy with the choice then go for it!!
If he makes excuses as to why HE doesn’t want to propose when you ask them there is more to it for him than just needing your own house…he may not even want to get married and isn’t sure how to say it.
He’s already said no to that a year ago? Ya got kids n he wants to wait till ya get house? Kind of weird but don’t hurt to ask him if he says no again ? Well ,
You’ve been together for 6 years and have two kids together, but he told you that he would tell you no if you asked him to marry you… I’m not sure why you would want to ask him. Personally, I’d be questioning if I wanted to marry him ever, but that’s just me.
There is really nothing wrong with.living together to me.its just a piece of paper.theres nothing wrong with u asking him but.you.could be devastated.if he says no just.leave things the way they.r.as.long as u.love.one another that is all that.matters right.now
I honestly dont think you are picking up what he is putting down.
Take your blinkers off and see it for what it is.
He already has free milk, why would he buy the cow? JS
Besides, he’s already said no!
He has the and eats it too…
Nah just refer to him as boyfriend and that should piss him off when men hit on you. Hopefully then he’ll get you a ring you deserve. besides you guys already had kids and there’s not real rush to by a house. Goodluck
Ask if he says no. Move on
Maybe English has just became difficult, 3months and 2 months old:eyes: or should i go back and read Again:running_man: reading glasses please:sunglasses:
It is completely acceptable to buck tradition and ask the man, but your reasons are different. He won’t ask you, and he told you he would say “no” if you asked. He doesn’t want to get married. If you are truly okay in your heart not getting married, then continue on with the way your are living. If he is a good partner and good father who just doesn’t feel the piece of paper is necessary, then just keep doing what you are doing. If not, I don’t understand why you would want to further commit to someone who clearly isn’t able to commit to anything other than your baby-making ability. In fact, being bound by children is much stronger than a legal bond. He can end the legal binding that is marriage, but he can’t become any less a child’s parent, even if he walks away.
Confused as to how you have a three month old and a two month old by the way play it safe and don’t ask
Its a bit of a pickled situation girl. But you deserve to know if he wants to be husband… I believe in the saying “it doesnt matter where you start just start” you are young and have already started your family in my opinion it will be good to know and by the sound of your story hes not going anywhere coz y’all are still together and staying together… Good luck
He doesn’t want to marry you. Ever. Move on.
Ok. Let’s think about this logically. You want to get married. He said no, wait until we get a house. You didn’t have to wait for house to live together or make babies together. Many married couples rent until they can afford a home. The house sounds like an excuse. You’re considering proposing to him so you can just be engaged. Why? Engagements are for those who intend to get married. He said he would tell you no, so why ask.
Dear I think he just doesn’t want to marry you, at least not right now. Now you have to decide if marriage is something you really want and decide if you’re willing to invest more or move on. You’re both so young.
Never get married. Especially at 22.
Why buy the cow when hes getting free milk?? He should have put a ring on it b4 you had kids!
Does this mean they have a twin and one was born July 31st while the other was Aug 1st? Or they just have children from past relationship. But does tbst makes sense? Because it’s stated their together for 6 year. You know what? FTS.
If you’ve been together for 6 years, how do you have two kids that are 2 months and 3 months? Someone cheated somewhere. Therefore, NO, I don’t think you should get married.
I’m Not a Fan of Women proposing… I say let him know you’re ready for Marriage… But Do NOT ask him… Let him be The Man & Ask You… also let it be known you’re Not going to wait around Forever for him to BE Ready either… Jmt tho…
He’s ready to have two kids at such a young age but worried about getting married?
No. You are a 21 first century Goddess.!
Why would You ask a question you’ve already been given an answer to?
When are you planning to buy your own house? Do you have a financial plan? Do you have a target date? He is already committed to you and you have children together so what is that appeals to you about being engaged or even married at this point? Statistics will tell you that if people live together before getting married, the marriage doesn’t last. If he has a plan (short term or long term) to buy that house, I would just leave well enough alone. If he doesn’t, well, I wish you the best.