Hi Mamas! Has anyone ever gotten divorced, kept their married name (because we had two kids together), gotten pregnant again (by someone new) and given the new baby their married last name? I don’t want this baby to have the new guys last name but would it be weird to give him my exes last name? Even though it’s mine too…?
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If you didn’t want the baby to have the father’s last name, why you ******* him…
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Some states, by doing that, makes your ex husband legally/financially responsible for that child. I would check into the law where you live.
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Yep I did exactly that …. Because it was MY name and my first daughters name. I never wanted her to wonder why she was different than us two. Never regretted it
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Your question leaves me with more questions than answers are you not with the new guy? Do you not intend for the new guy to be involved? And if the new guy is involved why would you give the baby another man’s name when the baby could have their father’s (new guys) last name? My daughter’s son has her last name father is uninvolved her daughter has her father’s last name because he’s around, he signed the birth certificate and is involved in her life. Yeah like I said you leave me with more questions than answers
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Have you tried talking to the new guys about this?? This is his baby as well.
I would find it odd that my partner is giving my child her ex’s last name just because you dont want that last name. What about using your maiden name instead
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It makes sense that you would want to have the same last name as your baby, regardless of it being a married name. However, I would encourage you to talk to the father of this baby to make sure he is ok with it. It’s equally his child, isn’t it?
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This is personal choice, I think. I hadn’t reverted back to my maiden name when I had my kids. I was absolutely not giving them my ex’s last name because he was not their father. My kids got their dad’s last name. If you feel comfortable doing so, then do you.
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My grandma did this exact thing with my mom and her brother. Gave them her exes last name and all I’ve heard my whole life is how much they hate it. I’m sure they didn’t notice growing up but once they hit adulthood it started to bother both of them that they were associated to a name that had no meaning to them. I’m sure not everyone would feel this way but just thought I’d give another perspective to think about
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I think it would be great…he may wonder why he doesn’t have the same name as his siblings…it is your name too…
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I think that’s weird. If I was your ex I would not want you giving my last name to a child that’s not mine.
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I gave my son my maiden name as his last name cuz I never changed it back after my divorce
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I don’t know about all states, but the child’s father have to sign the birth certificate if you and him are not married for the child to have his last name. So your child will have your last name if he don’t sign the birth certificate.
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My mom actually did this with me. She had been divorced for a year or 2 and was still going by her married name. So I got his last name and kept it until I married.
Girl, I see no problem with that - your baby’s last name should match your last name, whatever that is, Always.
I’d probably run it by my ex, just so he knows that’s what you’re doing and why, just as a courtesy though.
I think so ! I have seen people get married divorce in under 2 years keep that husbands last name with no kids for 4 years and have a kid with someone else and use that last name ! I would give it the last name of the father - and I would have my maiden name not my exact husbands
I’m 100% behind your reasoning for wanting to give your new baby your last name. Especially if you’re uncertain about the father being present.
My bf and I just had an argument about this when deciding to name our baby girl though, because HE got his mom’s married name, which they shared with his two older siblings, even though he had a different father than them. Hes always felt like his last name didn’t belong to him. It’s not his mom’s maiden name, bor his father’s name. So he didn’t want to give it to our daughter. But he has two older children as well. The first has a hyphenated last name because he wasn’t married to their mom when she was born, but by the time they had their son they were married so he got dad’s last name. So naturally I wanted my daughter to have the same last name as her siblings. He wanted to give her my last name but I come from many generations in my family who got their mom’s last names because their dad’s were absent deadbeats and I didn’t want that for our daughter either.
Is your maiden name not apart of your name at all anymore? I mean it makes sense because it is still your last name. At the same time if I was the ex, I’d be annoyed you gave a baby that wasn’t mine my last name. I get it if you don’t see a real future with the new guy so you don’t want to give the new baby his name.
Not weird at all. You want to have family unity with your children and the siblings will benefit from the unity amongst one another. Besides it is your name now anyway.
I would do that as well. Regardless if it’s your ex last name it is your last name. I would tell ex out of courtesy but would in no way shape or form be asking permission.
My mom did it when she had me.
The baby would have your last name so whatever that currently is.
If it’s your last name then you’re giving baby your name. Don’t think of it as tying to your ex.
First you gotta see if either ex or the dad would mind that
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Don’t look at it as your ex’s name. It’s YOUR name. He didn’t let you borrow it. He gave it to you. No it’s not weird. It’s on your child’s best interest for him to have the same name as his family.
I think it’s up to you, but I also agree that it is a little strange… My son has my first husbands(his dad’s) last name and my daughter has her dad’s last name. Although they are 16 years apart so it would be much weirder in my case 
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I did but asked my ex husband first
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The new guy is the father so giving the baby the last name of your ex is weird as fuck.
You can literally name them “Toaster”…
It’s your name that if you don’t plan on changing then I’d keep it.
Very weird and I’m sure the child’s father wouldn’t like this either.
I just think this is weird. Flat out weird.
Don’t. It’s not his kid shouldn’t have their last name. Give the baby their dads lastname.
My mother was still married with her exes lastname when she had me with a different man. She gave me her ex husband’s lastname.
It’s awkward. I’d really rather have my actual dad’s lastname…
It’s your last name though, it may be your exes but it’s yours now.
I would think your ex wouldn’t like that.
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If it’s your last name what is the issue?
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That’s weird tbh. He’s not the father. The new fella is. Just give him ur name b4 u got married if u nd the new fella aren’t together. I’m sure the ex won’t want 2 b financially/emotionally responsible for a kid not his own
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I don’t think you can do that legally
It’s not uncommon considering it is your last name still. The child will have your last name unless the father is in the room when the birth certificate is filled out and throws a fit over it.
That is against the law as you have to have the fathers name on the birth certificate.
I know this as I put my name on my wife’s daughters birth certificate and I got in big trouble for it . We had to go through the court’s and have my name taken off it . You can only give your baby your ex husband’s name if he adopted the baby.
My fathers ex wife did this. Two of her kids have my daddy last name but they not my dads.
Yes that would be extremely odd to do. I’m sure the father of that baby would want the baby to have their name. It’s your choice but, yeah that’s odd to me and may cause a lot of confusion not only within your family dynamic but can cause a lot of confusion in child support as well. It’s not about what makes it easier on you.
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Not a good idea if my gf gave my kid her the surname of her ex she wouldn’t be bringing the kid up with me in the picture