Would it be wrong to ask for one weekend during my sons moms time?

Don’t be as accommodating for her next time

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You already have custody. Let her have her uninterrupted time.
It’s not wrong to ask. But I can understand how she feels. Personally, you should get your orders amended. I believe standard order for Texas is 1 month, July 1-31 with the non custodial parent and 1 requested weekend of that month the custodial parent can have weekend visitation.
Or you can also make the point to her that if she can’t understand why you’d want a weekend visit, then maybe it’s best to go back to the order and not accommodate her weekends without notice every month. :woman_shrugging:t4:

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I don’t think it’s unreasonable of you. But I never followed the court order. I let my son go to his dad’s as often as he wanted. And I always let his dad get him as often as he wanted. The child is both of ours and they deserve as much time as they want. If she’s unreasonable, take her back to court and rework your visitation.

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Shes gotta understand its for your child

It sounds like you guys have a lot more time with the child then she does…? If she only gets summers, spring break and some holidays every other year I definitely wouldn’t be asking for them during her time as she already barely gets any. If y’all got them would you give her a week during the year to make up her time?

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Not wrong. But it’s time to reevaluate the parenting plan. Get it officially done. I wouldn’t be so accommodating anymore, she sounds selfish.

She doesn’t understand why you want to see your child ONE weekend over the summer?! :roll_eyes: If given enough time to arrange and it doesn’t bump any plans she had, there’s nothing wrong with it.

Summer break is way shorter than the school year

Can you give up another weekend at another time in the year? To make up for her missed weekend in the summer?

There’s really no fair vs not fair here tbh. If she’s okay with it, that’s perfect. If she’s not, you’re kind of overstepping. It’s her time. Period. If you have the child the rest of the year, all but what? 2-3 months for summer and one weekend a month? It’s really not surprising that she doesn’t also want to give you any of the little bit of time she has with him. The fact that you’ve accommodated her doesn’t mean she’s in the wrong for not doing the same for you and holding that over her head isn’t going to achieve anything. Be gracious because you want to, not because you want her to “owe” you one.

All in all, it’s really up to her and she’s obviously of the same mindset that it’s her time and she shouldn’t have to lend any of it to you.

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No I don’t feel it’s fair to ask for a visit with a child on the other parents time. I feel it is selfish to even think about that. You have the child during the ENTIRE school year and every other Summer, certain holidays and everything. Suck it up buttercup because this isn’t your Summer. The other parent has every right to see their child too and in peace at that!! Leave them alone and let them have their time and stop being greedy.

Me and my ex always discuss anything going on or any weekend he wants them out of the normal order. Depending on our plans depends on if they go, but if they are free then I let them if they want. They’re 9 & 10 but I have always let them decide if they want to go.

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Not only are you asking to take her time away, you are taking YOUR SONS time away from his mother. Why not give him the respect and let him see his mom. Sounds like selfishness here. Controlling.

Maybe trade her out. Agree to give her an extra weekend during the year.

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100% fair. My ex-husband and I trade weekends/time quite often. We just make sure to ask with plenty of notice. If either party says no than that’s fine. We still manage to work something out. He’s a shitty person but we do coparent extremely well.

Tell her because she has had him on y’all’s time it’s only fair this one time

Let that woman have her time with her kids! You have him all year.

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U need to plan your vacations for your time

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It’s HER time. Let it go. Stop being a jerk.

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Not wrong, she’s terrible

Go back to court and have the order amended.

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That is more than fair.

I 100% think it’s fair.

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Reopen the custody case now that they live closer

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There’s nothing wrong with asking, they got him during one of yours so…:smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

I feel like if she wants to be that way and let her. If your son finds out yall did some cool stuff and he missed out because of her. She will hear about it anyway

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Only one week? And she’s only 2 hours away. Time to set up new times and meeting times. My step children live north of us about 2 hours we meet in imaly city. And it took the mom kids 3 years to finally start driving and meeting us. We have them every other week in the summer and 2 weekends out of the month when school is in.

No its not and she needs to grow up it’s not about her its about the boy. Heck just ask him what he’d like. Ife he picks you or her best thing I can say.

I think it’s fair of you. But, I think you need to set up a whole new arrangement now that she is living closer. The old one doesn’t seem to be working now.

I think that’s fair. I have custody of my 2 oldest (10&7) with my ex husband but share and our boys went back to him for Father’s Day and stayed for 2 weeks (mid summer). I think it’s healthy for them to not only see the other parents but not lose all sense of structure and routine. Now, it took some time for my ex husband and I to get to this point, so it may not be easy, especially if she’s refusing just to be “mean”. But if it becomes a bigger issue and you’re willing to deal with it further, start enforcing the orders on her side as well. And be patient!!

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It wouldn’t be wrong to ask. She wouldn’t be wrong to say no. Y’all being cooperative and coddling her doesn’t mean she owes you the same.

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So your bf/husband’s son lives with you’ll full-time. His son’s mom lives 2 hrs away.
The kid is 10. It’s more than fine that mom and dad communicate and discuss a plan. Mom and dad can make new arrangements via court. You don’t really have a say in this. If you and the child’s dad divorce/breakup it’s just between the mom and dad. Let them handle it.

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It’s absolutely fair and there’s no reason she should be arguing. Trade her a weekend if it really matters but I think some people take co parenting too far where time has to be 100% split down the middle (or however it’s worked out). I’m sorry she’s making it difficult for you :disappointed:

I think this is a very reasonable request. It’s not like you suddenly shouldn’t want to spend time with him just bc its summer. I understand schedules but good coparenting comes with flexibility and compromise

You can ask, but a better idea would be adjust parenting time through the court now that’s she’s living closer.

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Since you guys get him for most of the year already, you should just let him enjoy his summer with his mom. I’m sure he misses his mom a lot throughout the year. Be grateful that you get him for the whole school year.

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I think it is 100% ok to ask.

If my daughters father asked for a extra weekend. I would totally allow it

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If the child is of age to make that decision and wants to go with the other parent then if should be the child’s decision…Stop using kids to get back at the other parent…Damn can’t parents take their own selfish needs away and let their child decide what they want…It’s not gonna kill the mom to make her child happy if that’s what he/she wants …Try asking the child what they want to do …As parents aren’t we supposed to keep our children happy?I would understand if the dad was a pos and just popped in whenever he felt like it and it was damaging to the child but it this case it doesn’t seem that way …I let my sons dad come get him whenever he wants cuz my son loves his dad but if my son decides he wants to be with me then he stays with me, it’s not that complicated…It u have a good relationship with the other parent then u should be able to work out something without going through the court system or going back through the court system again …

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Try to “trade time” like offer some of your time you have him in exchange since she would be giving up her time with him

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Nothing wrong with asking and switching day or giving her extra days over the summer for a weekend

It called Compromising

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If she chooses to say no, I’d say to not let her have those weeks that she’s asking for during the school year. Coparenting goes both ways :woman_shrugging:t2:

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On our standard visitation, the other parent gets the child every other weekend during the school year while the custodial parent has them full time but in the summer that switches and the other parent has them all summer with the custodial parent getting them every other weekend. Do all states not following this standard?

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The son is ten years old? Well… what does HE want? He should decide if he wants to come ‚home‘ that weekend or stay with his mom. It’s about him.

I’m also a little surprised how so many people don’t seem to have fun with their kids during school time. It’s not like you can only have great times with your kids during summer… even if there’s stress during the week, you can always squeeze in some fun literally every single day or evening and specially every single weekend throughout the year.

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She only has one weekend a month, certain holidays every other year and only spring break and summer break. That’s not alot. Let her have her time with her son.

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I would let him spend the time with his mom. It’s not fair especially if she is trying to be in his life. Think if it was reversed… would you want your limited time taken away from you with him? I would suggest taking y’all vacation with them during the school year like Christmas Break or something.

In indiana if she doesnt pick summer times by a certain date, the custodial picks them. Indiana allows the time to be broken up also.

I’d go back to court and get it amended. Then stick to the new agreement. If she can’t work with you when you accommodate her extras then the court needs to handle it. Been through this and still an ongoing battle for the last 7 years.

Go back to court and reassess visitation since circumstances have changed that’s your best option

Can’t hurt but ask you guys should enjoy summer time with him as well.

Why if you have him all year let her have her time with him

Yeah that’s not fair y’all have him all the time let her have her time

Just tell her you miss him and would love to see him

Tell her you want to go on vacay :woman_shrugging:. Why would she not let him. For a weekend. Anyway. Maybe the long weekend the. She can have a weekend off too

I completely understand this, I have a good friend who I am always trying to get together with so our girls can spend time together, it usually doesn’t work out because her daughter is visiting her dad.

Well how would you feel if she wanted him on your time?

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Tell her to put the child first and you will give up some of your time to her.

Not wrong! Its ur right! U go daddy

No. I dont think it would be fair to ask. If you have him more then why take that precious time away. So what you have been kosher and let her do her thing even though it might be annoying and aggravating. But, I would feel the same. Papers are a guideline to fall back on. We don’t follow them because we do whatever the kids want not what our papers say.

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No! Unless you give her one of your weekends. Be fair, you already get him during the year.

Can you not swap a weekend?

Go to your parenting plan.

Sharing a kid is hard :frowning:

I could say what I feel but I will just say contact the courts

You have him about 70% of the time and you want to take more time away from his mother? What a POS.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Would it be wrong to ask for one weekend during my sons moms time?

Look at your orders again. You should be following your court orders with visitation because if she decides she doesn’t want to give him back after you did something against your orders you’ll have to go to court to get him back. And your court orders may allow you to designate 2 weekends out of the entire summer break as long as you have give notice by a certain date

You can ask but shes not obligated to give you her time with her son.

I would offer her another time to take him but you should be able to have him a weekend or a vacation

Absolutely ask! I split EVERY holiday with my exes. I NEVER limit the time the can spend there…except during school ofc lol

It doesn’t hurt to ask. :woman_shrugging: especially because the circumstances have changed.

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You can ask but I guess it’s still going to be a compromise between the parents. If she has plans already it might also be unfair to expect her to say no when she made her plans with him. Good luck and let’s hope whatever happens the child is most happiest.

My son’s dad pulls this all the time, always asking for time on MY time but he works through when he has him so he never manages his own time correctly. Given, we alternate every two weeks and when my son and I moved away, i had him through the school year and he had him on summer breaks. You can ask, but don’t get salty if she says no. That’s HER time with him. I don’t think you’re wrong and I personally, let my son go with him if I don’t have anything planned for us to do.

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If she doesn’t have something planned that weekend, I’d just explain that you have something going on you’d like your child included in. If I don’t have plans, I have no issue with my kids taking an extra weekend if their dad wants to include them in something fun. I have also had times that I’ve asked for them on his time for the same reason. If you can both compromise , your child wins!

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Give her some of your days or take time off during the week and pretend its the weekend.

Um. Just a side note… it is the child’s time. They are the ones that suffer when the parents can’t be adults and do the right things. Sometimes we have to make sacrifices of things we wants so they have what is best for them. Now with that said… it doesn’t hurt to ask.

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Is it wrong of you to ask? No, it is not BUT you have to be willing to accept her answer whether you like it or not. It’s her time so her choice just as if she were to ask you for a weekend during your time, it would be at your will.

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If she gets to take him on your time with notice, you should be granted to same! Explain that to her. If she wants him in your time, and you always allow it, why can’t she allow it just once for you?

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If she doesn’t wanna work with y’all and let yalls kid have an enjoyable summer with both of y’all then I would say don’t work with her anymore :woman_shrugging:t2: you’re only asking for a weekend and if she’s not following court orders y’all are being more than generous so her not having the same decency can get that graciousness ended real quick. As someone who has been the kid in the middle of custody time at the end of the day it should be up to your child to decide who they are with during the leisure time away from school there was summers I wanted to spend with my mom but court said I had to be with dad

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If she doesn’t work with you I would go back to court and ask for at least one week per summer to keep in line with your current rules. It’s not fair you have the child all during the school year and are willing to work with her for visits on the fly but don’t get the same from her. You should get some fun time with the child also because the school year definitely isn’t easy!!

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I don’t think it’s wrong at all… I ALWAYS make our children available when my ex and his wife plan something and want the kids involved. I don’t do it for my ex… I do for my kids because I don’t want them to miss out. If the kids want to be there my husband and I will make it happen 100% of the time.

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