I can only do so much since I live with them bc my husband and I can’t afford to move out AND we both get paid. I have no choice -_- but if it were up to me, no I wouldn’t
I tried not to when my kids were growing up but my x wouldn’t listen so I trained my beagle not to let her on the porch when she came over lol had no problem with my father law just his mother
Thats a no, I would not allow that.
No. Not if it’s open around my kids or me. Now there are family members that we don’t care for each other but my kids don’t know. Respect is taught but also instilled by actions.
A HUGE resounding NOOOOOO
Not likely… I wouldn’t want my children growing up seeing their parents disrespected and thinking that behaviour is okay.
Nooooope. I’d shut it down in a heart beat. You respect the parent or you don’t see the child. I won’t allow my children to see me in a situation where I allow myself to be disrespected
Theoretically no… But it’s harder than you think. If you prevent them from seeing your child, the only one that truly suffers is your child…
I have some experience with this issue, happy for you to private message me if you want to talk further about it x
That’s a husband problem more than it’s an in-law problem. Those are his people, he needs to get them on board and protect you, or you need to scoot. He’s gotta set boundaries with them, or no, no kid visits. And if he can’t/won’t, leave him. Don’t waste your life living like that with a man that won’t stand up for you after he’s chosen you to be his partner and y’all have kids together.
TRUST ME-BEEN THERE.
Good luck.
Fuck no and I don’t. My in laws are toxic and not only talk shit about me that’s all lies but they can’t stand to discipline me son when he does wrong so he starts acting entitled and arrogant/throws more fits when around them
NOPE! That bad attitude will always seep in to the way they interact with others, including our children. Family or not, we choose who we allow to influence our children. A disrespectful bully is NOT someone who is allowed to spend any significant time with my children. Period.
I’m in this situation rn I don’t want my son around my in laws just because i feel like they’re trying to turn him against me and I don’t want him to think the racist, sexist shit they say is ok as he gets older but sadly my bf feels otherwise and will be bringing him around them regardless.
Why would you allow them around someone who does not respect you would be my question.
As a kid I was around someone who constantly talked bad about my father in front of me and it really negatively affected my relationship with my dad. So I’m going to say if they can’t speak respectfully about you in front of your kids then they don’t need to be around your kids. They don’t have to like you but they don’t get to pull children into adult conflicts.
Yes as long as they’re not jeopardizing the children’s lives and with lots of supervision
As long as they are treating the kids good including verbally then yes I would. Never put children in adult situations!
Absolutely not! If you’re toxic, you’re not coming around my kids. Kids come first, and they don’t need people like that in their lives.
I won’t allow people who disrespect me and talk bad about me if I’m around or not. No way is my kid gonna have their head filled with BS about their own momma.
Nope.
My mom hates my husband and may have a very good reason too but she NEVER let my daughter know. She doesn’t even bad mouth him to me often but if situation arise and she has an opinion she doesn’t hold back. If things were different and she constantly talked trash about him to her then IDK if I could allow her to see her even though she has a valid reason for disliking him🤷🏾♀️ I wouldn’t want anyone tainting my daughters view of her dad.
This is part of the reason my daughter doesnt know her paternal grandmother. I wont let her be alone with her because I cant trust that she wont sit there talking a bunch of shit about myself and my mother (we’ve done nothing but defend ourselves. Shes toxic!)
I also don’t allow my own blood sister to be alone with my daughter for that reason and because she has multiple mental health concerns and drug use issues. But I’m looked as the bad guy.
Toxic is toxic. If they’re not toxic towards the kids right away they will be eventually. That’s how narcissistic behavior works.
If the adults could be more of adults about their feelings towards me (my mother etc) and learn to keep their mouths shut it probably wouldnt be as big of an issue. You can say that the people getting away from the toxic behavior are putting the kids in adult situations. The ones that are talking shit and being toxic around the kids are the ones that are bringing the kids into an adult situation. Period.
My in laws act two faced and entitled so I try to avoid them as much as I possibly can. I don’t want my children around that toxic, negative environment.
9 years strong of loving my family enough to take out the garbage thoughts and actions to have a much better life. Hard but worth every single effort. You can have peace through boundaries.
Nope. I’m in this exact situation. Toxic is toxic. Family or not, if you have ugly tendencies and a black heart, you’ll be the same to my children. A leopard doesn’t change its spots for anyone.
Same problem here, but the NZ court system gave the father and his family full rights to see my kid nd have her overnight every second weekend. I know they are gunna brainwash her but there’s nothing I can do about it.
Just because adults can’t get along doesn’t mean you keep your children away from them. You’re hurting the children. It’s not about you, your spouse or in laws, it’s about the children.
Very True my Mother In Law was A Complete Evil Entity. Totally Wrecked My Family !!! My Son I have not seen in 15 yrs & my Daughter see only Periodic.
Now she has ro give Her Account to God
Husband Worshiped his Mother. I had no Voice until she Died. Happiest day of my Life. !!!
Absolutely not. My ex partners family does not filter the way they feel about me around my son, even going back to when he was born - they said as my family walked in ‘heres the shit side of the family’
We’ve not seen them for 4 years
Hell no! MIL did a number to my son and husband. Snipped her out in 2013 after dealing with her since 1998 and it’s been glorious ever since. Family doesn’t make them not toxic!
Nope absolutely not. My toxic AF ex “mother in law” (we were never married two kids together) always wants to talk shit about me, say my husband isn’t my girls dad, he’s their “step” dad-when he is the one who has been raising them since 2/3 and they haven’t seen or spoken to their bio dad in almost 3 years. Finally had enough of her toxic bullshit and cut ties. No one is going to talk badly about someone who loves and parents or cares for my children much less my husband. Gave her multiple opportunities to stop being so manipulative and she couldn’t resist so she got cut out.
No no no absolutely not!!! I’m sorry but im supposed to protect my kids and myself so if I let my kids around them then what would that make me a push over?! Letting them feed into my kids head whatever and then my kids hate me for what they have said about me no sorry if you don’t respect me or my husband then no they don’t get to be apart of our lives toxic is toxic no matter if it’s family or not
Nope. If they don’t respect you they will be teaching your kids that same disrespect. Not acceptable.
No. Eff that. I’ll either speak up or tell them to shove it if they continue and ignore my wishes. Dont need toxic crap like that seen by your kids cause they will do it too. Blood is not always thicker than water and sometimes family is toxic. You are the parent m, you make the rules about your kids. If they want that privilege they can respect you first.
Nope! I don’t take my kids around most of my in-laws for this reason.
That’s a hard one. I’d want my children to have a relationship with their grandparents, but if I don’t trust them not to say toxic things to my children about their own mom then no they’re not going to their house without me or my husband around.
Only if they are good to the kids and the kids have a good relationship with them. This is not about you. This is their grandparents. Grandparents are a very important part of a child’s life.
Considering the fact that I don’t really give two shits about who likes me or doesn’t, as long as they aren’t talking about me to my kids than they can have a relationship. Liking me doesn’t have anything to do with it. The feeling would probably be mutual. Lucky for me my in laws and I are good together.
Nope but my girls are old enough now that when somebody bad mouths me they will not speak to them.
It depends on the situation. If they can be around the kids without involving them in adult business like talking shit about you to the kids, then I would let them visit without myself there. As long as I’m not there and there’s no tension and the kids are being taken care of right then I would just keep my distance and let the kids enjoy their family. If its a toxic mess where the kids are being brought into adult business or being mistreated then they wouldn’t see my kids again. In the end, as long as the children’s best interests are being taken care of, id just keep my distance and let them talk all they want amongst themselves. And as for trying to break the family apart, id save that conversation for your S/O. Id let them know that their family is casuing too much tension between your relationship and they need to either put the family in their place or id have to let my S/O go. You can’t change your kids parents but if you’re not getting along you can remove yourself from the situation and not have to deal with it anymore. The kids family doesn’t have to be your family but there needs to be a level of respect when it comes to our kids and your relationship and if its not there something has to be done about it whether it’s addressing the situation or leaving it.
Oh hell no, not alone. If she saw my children it.would be I my home where she would never be left.alone with them… I would have friends and family.taking turns.
Nope but it’s not 100% my decision. It would have to also be my spouse’s decision too.
I let the kids see their in laws with both parents present but not alone seeings as I deal with the same situation. If anything gets started we leave
Nope and I nor my children would go around them. Toxic is toxic
If partner and I ever split. There will be no bad mouthing of any kind from either side. But we both have a good relationship with both our families I got very lucky
No. I don’t care who you are. If I don’t like you, or want to be around you, (family or not), especially if you disrespect me, I will NOT be around you or have my son around you.
See I tried this already and my daughter fell victim to their neglect. Never again. All these comments and maturity along w it are great but forreal if a person cannot and will not respect you they will treat your child bad sooner or later because your child is a reflection of you!! The real answer is hell naw!!!
No way! If I’m not welcome neither are my children
Nope. My MIL can come into my house and around my kids when hell freezes over
Hell no…I have been in that situation and nope my kid isn’t allowed around them.
Absolutely not. We don’t invite toxicity in here.
I don’t allow my son around my own toxic family. Why would I allow him around outside toxic family?
Adult issues are not children issues if kids are treated well let them see the kids.
Not in laws. But mother. I don’t allow her around my daughter. She won’t be around my new baby if I carry her or him to term. She says I’m not mentally ill. That I am just a drama queen.
No that’s toxic behavior and it teaches them how to treat you. Its disgusting they do this
Nope. Toxic is toxic. Regardless if it’s family or not.
Funny thing is the parents turn out to be the most toxic in these situations…🤦
NO I would not allow my children around them.
Hell no. But I wouldn’t allow them around anyone like that.
My ex’s sister is the one that helped him file custody papers and also taught him exactly what to do to ensure he’d get full custody. She also, when I was 8 months pregnant wrote me a long email about how she hoped our daughter would come out “r” word…
They’d sneak my daughter to see her when she was little and we were still together.
She’s 9 now and she sees through her bullshit and doesn’t care to be around her… so it wasn’t my place to dictate who he had her around as long as she was safe. So eventually your kids will either see or feel the disrespect and distance themselves naturally without you doing anything. Good luck sucky inlaws are tiring.
Nope. My in-laws are not good people. I wouldn’t trust a dead plant with them.
My husband doesn’t even like his own Parents.
You’re not entilted to my children just because of your relation to them.
Toxic in-laws have no place in a child’s life. If they cannot act like respectful adults, they will not be in my children’s lives. Period.
Nah…you dont have to like me but you will respect me If you wanna see my kids.
Never in a million years
Ahem, NO! They’ll do that right in front of the kids. Toxic is toxic and I ain’t about that.
Nope, if you don’t respect me how do I know if your going to respect my children ?
Hell No! Because your children doesnt need to hear the bad things they say about you. And I’m sure what they say is even worse when you aren’t around.
Nope they wouldn’t be allowed around
Nope been thru this 20 years with my husband an my son will be 18 in July he has no relationship with them because they choose to be such assholes there lost
Depends if they disrespected me in front of the children. But, I definitely wouldn’t go out of my way to go see them with the children. Wanna be rude?! Be rude without us around!
Doesn’t the answer to the question really depend on what behaviors are happening that the asker feels is disrespectful? There are some truly “entitled to special treatment” types out there that don’t hesitate to say they were, “disrespected” when someone doesn’t bend to their whims or puts them in their place.
My MIL only had to come t me sideways ONE time , my husband hasn’t talked to her since. Been a very peaceful 8 years .
NONE of you should deal w them unless there are healthy respectful boundaries.
A big FAT NO!!! … they would have to make the decision to see those disrespectful people when they were old enough to go on their own
If they don’t mistreat your children that’s their family and I don’t think you should bring the children into adult disputes unless they disrespect you in your children’s presence.
No of course not. Disrespecting their mother isn’t good for kids.
I try to keep my ones away from the inlaws they are all bad news. I just wish I knew this when I stayed with the father
nope. don’t respect me u don’t get to see your grandchildren. my inlaws learned that real quick . cut them out till there ready to behave
Nope. You don’t like me, you don’t get access to my kids. They’re half me so you don’t like them anyways
Nope! I cut off my own family for being stupid/saying awful things. I’d do it for anyone.
I wouldn’t feel bad at all. I removed my own sister out of my life because she’s disrespectful to our family and she’s an ungrateful selfish person. I don’t need to tell my kids why we don’t associate with her anymore, they’re old enough to understand why.
Nope. They are MY kids
I don’t even let my kids around my family that disrespects me
Danica Camille Lamata NO
Nope. But ex in laws play victim
Yes just limited… Very limited… and I’m normally not involved. Not including toxicity is fine, but I’m not withholding their grandkids from them. They only communicate through hubby, and I get final say. They blame me for taking their son away, I’m not giving them more leverage then I need to, I’m the bigger person.
Nope! Just finally got the courage to cut off contact with my mother and grandmother.
They never have anything nice to say, constantly make me feel less than adequate, call us neglectful lazy ungrateful when that mess is seriously their made up assumptions of us as parents as they never ask nor acknowledge our successes.
So yeah, been no contact for a week and waiting on taxes to MOVE so my mother cant find us, barge in, nitpick my entire life, and talk down about me in front of my son.
Get away now you’ll be so much happier in the long run
No children don’t need to hear the nasty side remarks
Hope only moms will read my comment
Your question reminded me of Lizzo’s song,
If he(in laws) don’t love you anymore
Just walk your fine ass out the door…
Nope. Kids watch and learn from those around them and disrespect towards their parents is NOT the example you wanna set
No I absolutely would not!!!