Would you be upset if your childs father mother did a DNA test without your knowledge?

Just curious… would you be upset if the mother to the father of your child took your baby into a room and swabbed him for his DNA behind your back?? I have nothing to hide, but the dishonesty and plain sneakiness bothers me a lot!**She pretended to use our bathroom and took my baby into another room and swabbed him and I walked in on it .

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If she’s willing to take your child into another room to conceal a cheek swab she’s willing to remove him from your sight to conceal other stuff too. That would be the LAST time she had access to my kid. I can say this because my mother in law pulled one of my kids into her guest room to tell her boyfriend (my daughter was on the phone with him) that she didn’t raise my husband to be the way he is. That was all my negative influence. That was it. I was done. Haven’t been back since.

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She definitely would not have access to my kid especially alone, ever again.

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Id be angry. Thats something that could have been discussed and consent shouldve been given.

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My ex husband did a DNA swab on our son behind my back because he told his new wife that I cheated on him… Our son was 7. I knew that my x was his father but was pissed because of the going behind my back and the lying.

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Definitely wouldn’t have anymore access to my child after going behind my back. I would still do the test to prove paternity but she would not be involved any further due to her not being upfront and just asking for one.

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No.,.not at all? Not sure why anyone would even get mad about this. Completely safe and non harmful to the child.

In fact I don’t understand most of these comments. We as mothers have the confidence and luxury of being 100% secure knowing whose our child parents are (barring child birth switches and infidelity on our part) But the second a man questions paternity he’s the bad guy? That is absolutely insane to me.

I know this is about a grandparent…but still. They are choosing to be present in your child life…why even care that they want to make sure they are genetically related

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Doing the test? Nah. If you know it’ll come back 100% the man you think, then I wouldn’t have an issue with it. It would only shut them up. But hiding about doing the test? I’d be pissed for sure!!

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Depends…has she asked you to have it done before? Has the potential father asked? If they did and you said no, that gives them doubt…if they never asked and did it i would be pissed. I got preggo quick with my son, but I knew who the father was, i gave them the option of a test if they wanted (they chose the option of leaving so I was a single mom, no help at all)…if my son said he got a girl pregnant, I would question, given the situation, especially if it was like mine. There are too many factors missing to determine a good answer

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She would never see my child again!! This is the most disrespectful thing a “grandmother” could do!! Sorry, just my opinion!! :woman_shrugging:

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Snip snip good buy that’s what I’d be saying to her, I’d be livid!! And if u are still with the father of ur child I’d be telling him that his mother was not aloud near the child again , x

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She would be banned from ever coming in my home again. She would also NEVER see my kids again :woman_shrugging:t2: she had absolutely ZERO right to even REQUEST a test, let alone do one. If my partner came to me saying they want a test, I’d feel pretty shitty because I’m faithful but I would absolutely do it because it is his child too. Her? Nope. She can fuck all the way off.

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Nope. Let the facts speak for themselves. Yes, I would be fuming but I would never let them see how upset I was.

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I am not sure how I feel. I would question why she wasn’t honest, and if I had nothing to hide I would completely agree to having it done.

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She would have been on the floor tbh.

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I’d be so mad and stop visits as what else is she doing if she wanted it done ask

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Why didn’t they just ask? I would be mad about the sneaking around part.

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I asked b4 the baby was born. And paid for it!! My son was told he was sterile and two other women said their kids were his, even drop one off to him for Six months and both were not his. So I asked and paid and told her that if she didn’t agree to the DNA, I didn’t want to be involved with anything with her or the baby!

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If you have nothing to hide don’t worry about it. LAUGH and shake it off… But let her know when results come back you guys need to have a talk about her respecting you and set boundaries. That’s where she’ll know she fucked UP.

I suspect her actions are motivated by money instead of genetic curiosity, if her son is her beneficiary she is motivated to shield assets from possible claims such as your son would have, but the covert tactics are a real dick move on her part, you should be cautious around her

I’d be upset but at the same time if there trying to prove if there son is father I’d say sure go ahead then they are proved the child is there sons.

No problem because it’s only the dad who needs to know. You have to figure out if it’s yours before the paternity I did. It’s the best decision I ever made I’m so happy with my daughter and I know now.

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she would be out on my house so fast she would leave skid marks as her butt hit the ground

Did her son ask her to possibly?

no Problem. You Lost all access To having the baby Alone

If there is reason the father feels that way then its a different story but not for anyone else to decide that

I would lose my shit. That is me personally and when it comes to sneaking things past me when it comes to my child F to the no.

Sure that may be an assault on the child , if not given permission.

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Stephanie Gagne how disrespectful and how on earth did she think SHE had any right to do that not her child none of her business. OMGosh

Depends, maybe she has a reason to doubt the paternity.

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I get it. There’s a lot of woman who deceive men into thinking they’re the father when they aren’t. It’s almost common place now. Unfortunately that builds mistrust. She’s trying to protect her son, herself & family from bonding & taking care of a child that isn’t his while not offending you.

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Would you have agreed to it if they asked you ? If not then that’s the answer.

Yes. She would be banned from my house and my kid and idgaf who mad about it

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Why you call her “ the mother of my child father “ and not just : my cjild grandmother, like a normal person :rofl::rofl:
I will be livid, she has not right to do so behind your back , I do not know if she can actually have it done , if not , I will do it myself give her the results and not let her seeing my child for a while , who knows what else she can do when you are not around

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she’d be cut… if she doesn’t want to believe that child is her family then she doesn’t have to be there… she had no place to do that

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If there is nothing to hide
It shouldn’t matter if a DNA test is done
Don’t worry she isn’t the first mom to want a DNA test done and she won’t be the last
Look at it this way , when the results come back and her son is the father
You can wave it in her face
You can tell her to pull her head in
And she won’t ever see your child again
She sounds toxic

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Lonni Wilson none of her business…my God!!!:woman_facepalming:
If the father had a question of paternity then that’s his business to take care of…
Poster: if you are in a relationship with the father he needs to herd his mother!!!

I’ll be, good, do it. You will only come out looking like a fool.

Why would you let her leave with the swab…:thinking:…is her son the father…Jerry springer died so…

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Nope. its not about you. Now they’ll know and it wont be some bs brewing indefinitely.

I mean…there’s a lot to unpack here…

I doubt she’ll be able to get the test done anyway …what a horrible old … don’t leave her alone with Bubs again

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Shit, I’m all about a good “I told you so” when that DNA test comes back in your favor. It’s a situation to lose respect for her and to set boundaries but not to cut her out of the child’s life.

There are details here that were left out. Ask these questions…
Why did grandma need a dna test? Why was she sneaking around behind the parents back? Had grandma already asked for a test to be done?
There are too many details left out for us to give you sound advice. With that being said…
YOU are the only advocate for the child you gave birth to… UNLESS court ordered DO NOT let ANYONE, (Do you HEAR Me?) ANYONE do any kind test(swab, bloodwork etc) or take your child anywhere alone without YOUR CONSENT!
If she wants to know she can take you to court for results.
My answer is YES! I would be furious! Not only that but she would NO longer be allowed around my children…Based on the facts you gave.

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So this is a tricky one I think, if you have nothing to hide, I would 100% let her get it done, you getting upset with her just makes it look all more suspicious. But with that being said everyone has different feelings and If you feel like you need to be upset with her. Then that’s okay too!

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Yep. It’s none of her business. If the father wants it done, it should be discussed as a couple and not involving his mom. He should be choosing the family he made over the family he came from.

Nope nope nope. I’d be mad. Why not ask in a polite way and explain why you want it done? Why do it behind the mothers back? And anyone saying they wouldn’t be mad about it fine but when she pulls other shit like this or worse behind your back you can’t get mad about that either. Because you showed her it’s ok to do things with or to your child without permission and behind your back.

I feel like that would piss me off and I would tell her she doesn’t need to be around my baby until she gets the results back then. Because why do you need to spend time with my child, if you don’t think it’s your grandchild? :woozy_face::woman_shrugging: I’m not sure that’s someone I would even want around my child at all, because it shows her character that 1: she would even take it upon herself to do that and 2: she doesn’t even have enough respect to address it with you and ask for permission to do something with your child and she was intentionally deceptive about it. It’s not her place to even question it or suggest a dna test in the first place-let alone carry one out herself.

I’d be more worried about the fact that she needed to check.

As long as one parent gave permission. I understand being upset, absolutely :100:!

This is hard to answer without the back story, but it sounds like you and your kids father need to have a serious discussion. If it turns out he did not express concern and neither of you gave consent, then yes, this is a cause for serious concern.

I would straight put her tf out and if he had a problem him too.

I’d be burning bridges. If the father of my kids wanted a DNA test sure go for it. Don’t be sneaky. Ask and you shall receive. Id totally cut her out my life. It’s not the DNA that’s the issue it’s the sneaky part.

I would be pretty unhappy with the lying about it :woman_facepalming:t3: like Jesus Murphy I wish they’d just say what they gotta say and be down with it. I honestly would have flipped and done some crazy mama bear stuff.

I would be upset also. She could have spoke to you on it

No. Let her eat crow when the results come back.

I’ll keep her away from baby :smiling_face_with_tear:

But Now when the DNA results come in you can 100% gloat in her face!! See B Told Ya!! :rofl:

I would be upset. It’s not her choice it would be her sons. If her son wanted it he should have came to you and had a discussion about it.
I would be talking to her and explaining that she lost your trust and not sure how to get it back.

Wouldn’t bother me one bit,I would have noithing to hide reckon only someone with something to hide would

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I would be livid .

Apparently the grandma and or potential father don’t trust you at all.
I get that the swab wouldn’t hurt the baby. But good lord have the guts to straight up tell you. They think there’s a chance the kids not his. And that they want a DNA test done.

Thank the lord I don’t have in laws :rofl: plus my husband has never had to question the paternity of our 4 kids.

Well I guess she’ll either look like an a$$ or your look like a …

I have no problem confirming that they are their fathers children, but i fear i would throw hands at the secrecy and deception of the mil.

Lol she’d be just a memory of mine if she did that … bye

Have they asked for a DNA test previously and you denied it?

She basically called you a hoe :joy:

Yes that was so wring of her to do that behind your back.