Would you be upset if your friend offered to take your kids for the weekend, but when the weekend comes around all you hear about is how bored she is , etc? Then she asks to come over yesterday, came for an hour & barely talked. Haven’t talked you since. I was literally begging last weekend for a break. I know it’s not her responsibility but like why offer.
No point of being upset but to talk it out with her best friend! Because the way you are feeling imagine how she feels as well! Friendships should be 50/50 and sometimes we expect allot but don’t put in allot either.
I’ve done this and then something came up and I couldn’t. I ofc talked to my friend about it and we’re still fine. I was still able to squeeze in 2 hours to hang out with her in the weekend. But I was glad I never caught an attitude or anything from her. Life happens. On both ends. Maybe she needed a friend as much as you needed a break, but wasn’t ready to talk about it. People aren’t perfect. Especially friends. The way we love them thru it no matter how it effects us is what makes us best friends.
I agree with you, don’t offer. Unless it’s a family emergency, do what you offered to do.
I would directly ask her. Maybe she’s changed her mind ? Won’t know until you ask
I would expect it. People want to sound kind but they don’t step up. People are such letdowns.
Perhaps she forgot. My best friend and I trade off our kids to each other so that we both get a break, but between their shenanigans, appointments, and daily life, we forget! We both have planners to keep everything in line, but if we’re driving, at an appointment, or at the store, important things may not get written in there. We’re both human and both are forgetful, so it’s quite a regular occurrence to forget something. We have great communication though, so if I’m supposed to be watching the 5 kids for the weekend, she text or call a few days before hand to remind me and vice versa (let’s be honest though, we talk just about every day!). Talk to her.
There’s no reason to be upset. As mothers, we all understand that we need a break, but it’s not your friend’s job to give that to you. I understand being aggravated, but communicating is essential for plans with kids, especially if she doesn’t have her own or normally do this. Maybe she wanted to help, but was unsure how to approach the topic without upsetting you. Or maybe… maybe… no one can tell you but her. So, ask and go from there.
It sounds like she might be going through something herself right now. She may have great intentions, but it might just not work out if she’s having her own issues.
Sounds like she maybe forgot that she offered and has something else going on in her life that distracted her. Invite her over and have a chat
I wouldn’t necessarily be upset because like you said it’s not her responsibility however I would be upset at the lack of communication on her behalf , if something came up or things changed on her end for whatever reason she should communicated that with you . I would have asked her yesterday in person what happened and explain to her that you were happy and excited to finally catch a break and if there was something that you had done or if something had happened .
One thing I’ve learned after many years is communication in any relationship is key because she may have a valid reason and she may have been quiet while over because you didn’t ask ( I’m not sure of course ) but that’s my best advice
I wouldn’t mix friendship and childcare -it’s nice for her to offer but next time you want a day out just hire a babysitter-less drama and then no hard feelings between friends
Did she have something come up? Just tell her how you feel. You get excited for a break and then a little disappointed.
She offered to take them for the weekend …But…did you ‘finalize’ those plans? Or did you agree to her taking them and drop it after that?
If you didn’t say anything beyond ‘yes’ to facilitate her watching the kids then no, it’s not really fair to be upset with her because she isn’t a mind reader.
Sometimes people are afraid of upsetting someone and can’t communicate effectively. Maybe sit and talk with her. If she is your best friend, why hide your feelings? You are absolutely correct that she isn’t required to take your kids. Annoyed is more of an understanding feeling.
She probably felt awkward being around you knowing you were upset. Things happen, plans change, don’t use it against her. Sure it’s a bummer but nothing to be petty over.
Sounds like you both have a problem communicating with each other. You should have asked her what’s up with you asking to take my kids? Lol.
That’s not a friend, start being busy when she wants to come over. She could explain why the change of plans.
No. It’s not my friend’s responsibility to give me a break.
She sounds maybe immature and unreliable….
I wouldn’t be mad, as you said “it’s not her responsibility”, but I probably wouldn’t leave my kids with her either. Though, as someone else said, maybe she just forgot🤷♀️
Did you ask her about it? I wouldn’t be upset. I mean she’s not required to take your kids lol likely not her focus
Maybe she forgot. This happens to myself often actually if I don’t write it in my daytime, I will not remember
From the sound of it, your friend does not have children. If If this is not something she regularly Does or offers than no I would not be upset. It just Is what it is. Choose your friends wisely.
I may be annoyed but not upset. Maybe something came up, maybe she spoke before she thought. Maybe she is going through it as well and can’t handle it.
Also you don’t need to always be in convo to enjoy others company. Maybe she just needed to be around a friend.
Honestly There isn’t a reason to be upset
So maybe y’all should communicate. Maybe she was hinting she was bored so you would say something g about her having the kids. Why didn’t you follow up with her? Why be upset with her, when you didn’t say anything either?
Maybe something’s going on with her. Did you think to ask her maybe if everything was okay? Maybe that’s why she was so quiet at your house.
If this is a one time thing let it go. If she consistently does things like this then have a conversation with her.
Don’t use friends as babysitters unless they have kids too and it’s an equal exchange between both of you. Friends are meant to be friends. Maybe you should hire a babysitter and spend some time with your friend without kids around.
I would never ask her to do anything ever again she’s not trustworthy
shit there’s no way I’d let my kids go all weekend with a friend just to catch a break Lol
She might have just been trying to be nice maybe? Maybe she meant it at the time then got depressed? It’s honestly best to ask her
Maybe she offered because she felt obligated to? Sounds like you were insisting on needing a break and she offered with the intention of you not agreeing?
Nothing to be petty over…they are your kids in the first place. She has no obligation to take them. Would it be nice? Of course! But it’s nobody’s responsibility but yours at the end of the day.
Did you double check with her that she was still having them?
Tbf if I was meant to have somebody’s kids but they didn’t message me a day or so prior I wouldn’t go out of my way to have them. No point getting upset about it.
I’d be passive aggressive As shit about that one lol
Maybe something came up and she couldn’t do it x happened to me recently but week after got two notes off phew as I was so burnt out
Woman didn’t used to have breaks from their kids.
That’s not a friend. Just like the girl I took out every weekend! Then the last weekend we went out she Racked up a bar tab of $30 and expected me to pay it. Cause she didn’t know she drank that much and was a broke ho so I asked to be paid back and was blocked. best thing to happen! Just block her and move on. It’s hard as hell to find real friends who ain’t using or lying …
Yes all talk no action kind of friends. Next time say you don’t need to offer something you’ll later forget about and I’m sure she will get the message x