Would you be upset if your husband didn’t do anything for your birthday? I turned 38 today and I know that’s a really random age but my husband didn’t do anything for me at all. No cake, no birthday song, no gift or flowers. He finally told me happy birthday tonight around 9pm. We did celebrate this last weekend with my mom, we went to a nice dinner (my mom paid). They sang happy birthday to me there. I guess that made my husband think he was exempt from doing anything today. Am I being unreasonable and selfish for having my feelings hurt?
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I think your husband was oblivious to what you wanted /expected. It sounds like he thought the birthday had already been celebrated and dealt with on the weekend. I would have a conversation with him, let him know your expectations and how you feel. Let him make it up to you on the weekend.
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Just remember this when his comes around
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We just buy what we want for ourselves. Takes all the stress out of it. Don’t need ‘things’ these days. Would rather do a nice meal
Or take a short holiday instead. We do wish each other Happy Birthday though.
No matter how broke my husband and I are we always do our best to celebrate our birthdays. We always try to make is special some way weather it is cleaning the house or cooking. I would say since you celebrated last weekend I can see where he wouldn’t do anything super big but still happy birthday first thing in the morning and even coffee. It’s the one day we have to feel special and I make sure I get my day lol
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this makes me sad! I had that for years before. My boyfriend this year had my family birthday on the Fri.sat Went to a museum, dinner and a show. Sunday ( my actual birthday) went to the zoo. Just the two of us all weekend. I expect nothing and got more than I could imagine!!
Don’t take being treated like that. Especially if you go above and beyond for him
My ex was like this, I would go all out for his b day and father’s day but he barely even noticed me for either day and it always hurt. My hubby now always makes sure I feel the love from him even if others do something or not.
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I’d make sure to keep that energy for his birthday
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Yes absolutely, your feelings are valid.
You just need to communicate your needs and expectations better. Men are not mind readers and not all of them are romantics. You just have to be honest and let him know what you expect beforehand so he knows moving forward. You shouldn’t be upset at him no.
Idk it might just be me but I don’t care about birthdays just another day to me
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Missed my birthday last year and our 20th anniversary. My 8 year old granddaughter doesn’t and my kids and other grandchildren are who matters.
My boyfriend and I just say happy birthday to each other and that’s it. It’s no big deal to us and we don’t celebrate commercial holidays either.
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Yes of course sounds like he forgot and tried to get off the hook. I always remind mine anyways. I make it the whole month of July to make it easier 
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Mine has always gone all out for every holiday for me so if he did that to me I would think he had developed brain damage and if he hadn’t I would be livid.
I would expect at least a card and happy birthday
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Just return the favor on his birthday, and communicate your feelings to him about this
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You are absolutely not unreasonable for being hurt over this. No matter what year it is, a birthday IS special. The least your partner can do is tell you happy birthday and cook you your favorite meal. It’s minimal effort. You need to tell him how much this hurt your feelings and that you need him to show you that he cares about the things you care about.
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Okay so this just opened a conversation with my husband. He says that if I did that he would be upset and I agree with you 100% you have all rights to be upset and I think you need to talk when you’re not as hurt and let him know how you feel. Even a card this morning or a happy birthday at the least.
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Return the favor on his special day!!
My husband rarely celebrated my birthday even though his was three days after mine. He always said” I forgot”….
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He probably figured that was it, the little dinner bit with your mom.
Some guys get it some guys don’t. I guess he don’t.
He could saved a little gift for the actual day. Pffft on him.
That sucks!! I know the feeling.
Don’t do anything for his birthday.
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Shame on him……your Birthday is a special day and he should at the very least had a card and gift and wished you Happy Birthday before 9 pm.
My husband hasn’t done anything for my birthday since I was 30 so almost 8 years ago…. So I don’t do anything for him. It’s not a big deal to me. But if it is to you, than say something!!!
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I know how you feel I made 83 on my birthday nothing from my husband of 65 yrs the children always celebrate my birthday with fathers day
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It’s hurtful for sure. My husband never does either.
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My husband hasn’t done anything for my birthday since I was 30 so almost 8 years ago…. So I don’t do anything for him. It’s not a big deal to me. But if it is to you, than say something!!!
Don’t ever assume anything guy’s
I’d be upset too, you’re not wrong!
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I would be hurt. Unforgivably hurt.
Wow…that’s a family celebration but the day of you do gifts…cake…say HB…sorry…I’d say something for sure…does this happen every year?
Girl, don’t be upset. Just treat yourself, no need to rely on someone just to end up disappointed. I always get myself something and go out with the girls every birthday. He knows not to plan anything, that’s my day 
No he should have done something
It is normal to feel hurt. Talk to him calmly and ask how he would feel if you did the same for his birthday, while telling him it hurt your feelings that he did nothing, choose your words carefully and watch your tone. If you sound bitter and nasty he won’t pay attention to your words. Let him know what you want in the future, even if it is just a card and some flowers. My ex fiance loved to spend my birthdays with his friends getting stoned, and I spent my birthday alone 4 years in a row without even a happy birthday from him. I realized being drunk and stoned was far more important to him than I was. So I know how important it is to know they care enough to do anything special on your birthday even if it is a special home cooked dinner or a little pampering.
Don’t do nothing for his birthday tell him happy birthday at 9pm.
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Been there. Very selfish. Do the same on his birthday. Does he also not do anything for Mother’s Day or other holidays for you?
Tell him how it made you feel. Let him explain if he figured since you already celebrated there was nothing else to do. Then explain, it was no okay and really hurt your feelings. Chances are, he won’t do that again.
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You have every right to feel hurt, no one has the right to tell you how to feel. But I’m curious…How do you normally celebrate your birthday? Does he normally get you a gift, flowers, card, say/sing happy birthday? Did y’all discuss what the plans were for your birthday? Did you let him know you’d like to do something?
In our house, my husband enjoys celebrating his birthday, he enjoys the gifts, the singing , the full blown extravaganza. I on the other hand do not. So I make it very clear leading up to my birthday how I wish to celebrate. My birthday is a trigger and I s want to co trip the narrative if the day for my own mental well being. This has required lots of on going conversations.
If you’re bothered by his lack of attention, talk to him and let him know. Have an adult conversation, no yelling, to prevent it from happening in the future.
We cannot expect others to do it the way you would. Communication is key.
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Maybe you need to let him know how you feel about it. I would have been fine with just a happy birthday, especially if we celebrated with family beforehand. Everyone is different & he may not realize you expect something on your actual birthday
Mine dont either…use to hurt but now I buy myself something and tell him I got it for my birthday
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Absolutely. My birthday was on Mother’s Day. I got absolutely nothing. He didn’t even say anything. He didn’t acknowledge it at all. I was so pissed.
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Grow up!! What are you 2? Pick your battles.
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Oh for God’s sake , get over it .lve never got a single gift , Bought my own , till kids got old enough to shop , been married 52 years
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“If he wanted to he would.”
Omg grow up. Ur acting 12 not 38. Jesus take the wheel
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Nope. Once you aren’t a kid anymore birthdays and Christmas are just days, not special events. I haven’t had a birthday or Christmas present in 17 years since my mom died. No relationship I’ve been in I don’t think they ever knew or we discussed birthdays so definitely didn’t get anything. It’s a weird day anyway, celebrating one year closer to dying. Nah, skip it.
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How selfish of him.Im so sorry
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Your feelings are valid I’d be annoyed but would do the same for his birthday too
Some men are just dumb and don’t remember Jack until its something for them 
Personally i wouldn’t take it to heart cause i think he really didn’t mean to hurt you on purpose and some men actually don’t consider our feelings , said with love 
Mine never did anything for my birthday his is literally right before mine. So I just stopped doing anything for his
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I wouldn’t worry about it
Men often don’t do anything when it comes to birthdays
I was was thankful my ex said happy birthday to me even if it was a day later
By the time you hit 40 you won’t even care
(I’m in my late 50’s and my family doesn’t do the birthday thing for me)
Don’t sweat it
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You should always acknowledge each others bday my best gift I got was and you all will laugh but he was out walking in the wood came across different wild flowers picked a bouquet and also wild apples lol but of course the apples ment homemade apple pie … he came in handed me the flowers kissed me and said I love you … that was the best and he peeled the apples and sliced them … it dont mean you have to do big prices things sometimes the little things are priceless
No it’s just another day to me and him
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That really sucks I know how you feel my partner is the same. And I beat you out your all into his birthdays and Xmas too.
No my family never did anything for my birthday. I do not set myself up for disappointment. Got over that a long time ago
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I had that happen many times to me too . Probably narcissistic thinks only of himself .
Wow that’s awful. Very selfish of him. Make sure to do the same for him on his birthday.
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No. He’s a shitty husband. Something is wrong.
Wow like wtf all these comments where men don’t do anything for their significant others bday. It can be as simple as a cute note left in morning saying happy birthday, or clean the house and say happy birthday or a cheap bouquet of flowers I mean even if money is tight, there are so many sweet gestures men can do to let his partner know he cares and thought about you on yr bday. I would definitely say how it hurt yr feelings and how disappointed you are. No matter what ur feelings are your feelings and valid. I would be upset too.
your husband is a cu*t
that is all
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Good luck n yes your feelings are valid I deal with this every year.
Absolutely you are allowed to feel upset! I couldn’t be with someone who didn’t show me how much they love me, especially around certain holidays, birthdays, anniversaries. Christmas and valentines are not a big deal to me, but this just shows how people have different opinions. I am vocal about my feelings and expectations, that’s what our voices are for. Communication is key in any situation in life. I make sure to drop hints all year round or leading up to the day of what I’d like to do or where I’d like to eat. Presents aren’t important but are appreciated. Time spent on me is my love language.
My birthday goes uncelebrated most every year by my husband. My kids remember and my Momma did when she was still living.
No. We don’t buy gifts for each other often. We will surprise each other at different holidays, mother/father day or birthdays. Just a random one we pick
Yup it’s a common thing sweetheart n it’s something that I got used to …chin up
Not at all. My birthday always gets forgotten and it hurts. I remember everyone’s but apart from my mum no one remembers me. Let him know how you feel. I’d be petty and ignore his next lol xx
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I might be the exception but I don’t care 
not a big deal , we do things throughout the year and I will just say oh it’s my gift lol
Your feelings are valid no matter what!!
my ex husband never did for 18yrs unless i got upset about it
Sounds pretty typical. He’s assuming your birthday was already celebrated
I would be VERY UPSET!! I would have a GOOD TALK with him!!! Just my opinion!!!
You have a right to be upset! Feed him back his own behavior in his birthday! Revenge isn’t something i usually encourage, but sometimes you need to fix stupid!
Did you talk to him about your feelings ?
You have every right to your feelings. My husband and I don’t exchange birthday gifts BUT we do a date night on birthdays and a card is always mandatory. If your husband is uncomfortable with gift selection perhaps this is an option for you.
COMMUNICATION… sitting back stewing won’t work, you need to tell him what you expect… Do you make a big deal of his birthday? If so, just calmly say that you’d like similar for yours… Everyone is brought up differently, we can’t always expect people to magically know what we expect from them.
Do the same thing for his next birthday. Like nothing, don’t say or do anything!
Not good at all shame on him👎🏻
It not unreasonable x that was all your mum he didnt even get you a card xx