Maybe it just dawned on her and she was trying to look out for her child? That happens sometimes. We get busy and stressed and forget sometimes. If it bothers you that bad that she texted late about homework then maybe turn the ringer off and respond in the morning? Sheesh. Quit nit picking and save the energy for the bigger stuff.
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who even posts this? y dont ppl think on their own anymore everythings right on fb. jeez . what type of advice u want? when u marry someone whos been married or has child with someone else sometimes things like this happen. theres alot worse worries in the world .
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I mean it’s about the kid…but if you want boundaries set them. But if this is the first time no smh
this whole post is laughable.
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Shes probably busy, she has a life too. That’s probably the first she remembered…she asked about their kids homework, not for him to come over 
I think you need to relax, pick your battles
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Ya I text my ex about my 18 year old son at 11 at night… and he’s an adult. Wouldn’t bother me none not going to lie… doesn’t bother my exes new wife either… especially if it’s about my son and nothing else
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this whole post is laughable.
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I suppose the issue is you cannot control other peoples actions, she text I would say late, it wasn’t an emergency. Did ur partner respond? Again you can’t control your partners actions. Your response is that I would tell your partner how you feel and he may feel it is also late. He may not agree with you and you will just have to say what you think and leave it there. There isn’t much context like whether this is a regular pattern or whether this is an opportunity for her to cause conflict between.
It sounded innocent but I feel it was late
Hi I’m a mom. And it’s entirely plausible that it had just crossed her mind at that point. I wouldnt read into it.
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My schedule is crazy and I’m up all hours of the night and don’t even think about time because well healthcare. If I don’t ask when I think about it I forget. If it’s about the child no I wouldn’t be upset. If it was about something else understandable
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Maybe she was just busy and forgot to ask and then when she remembered it was 1130
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I get that it can be hard on the head. I get it, so by no means am I dismissing your feelings.
I do have a question. Is this something that happens all the time or is it a once off?
If it’s a once off I’d let it be. If it’s a recurring thing mabey have hubby say something. It’s OK to set a boundary if it’s a reoccurring issue.
I guess the flip side is that she texted him, not you. So if he responds to it then he does.
Oh my god you are ridiculous . Grow up.
Chances are it might have just dawned on her about the important assignment and she knew it was due the next day and needed it to be done. You are hilarious !
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What’s her work schedule? Does she have busy days? If her son didn’t answer was she NOT supposed to call his father to check and make sure? Are they not supposed to discuss their child at anytime it needs to be discussed?
God you sound so immature. Grow up shes making sure her kids school work is done
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I’m sorry 11:30 is late at night. Kids should be in bed by 9:00 or 10:00 at the latest. The kid won’t even have time to do the homework. It’s a waste of a text. Also, it depends on how old the kid is to. But, I’m sure the dad should know he had to ask if the kid has homework.
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Think she is trying to get under ur skin!!!
Maybe she was busy or just remembered? Try not to think so hard on it.
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Maybe she had just thought of it at that time? Grow up.
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Your a jealous jerk. That’s their kid!!! If you can’t handle them communicating 24_ 7 move the hell on!!! Don’t marry a man who has a kid from another women if your going to be like this!!! You need to grow the hell up!!!
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Nah, my Ex-husband and I have a fantastic co-parenting relationship, his wife and I get along great. We don’t text each other late. If one of us called/texted after 10pm really it’d be because of an emergency (or if it was a late pickup/dropoff -trip-related so we knew beforehand we’d be texting late). If one of us was calling the other that late it’d be an emergency.
No. You have every right to have boundaries. It’s not okay for him/her to just barge in and call and expect 24hr access, they are no longer married to each other.
Some of the other women here commenting, “but they have a kid together!!” …so? They aren’t married anymore. She’s interrupting their time in bed together. Inserting herself unnecessarily. 100% could have waited until the morning or have been sent in all the hours that were before.
Boundaries make for successful co-parenting relationships.
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If you get that upset about this little of a thing I’d hate to see what else your husband has to put up with 
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She’s a mother… I’m sure she just forgot until that time. Seriously how ridiculous…grow up
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I don’t think I would text anyone at that time but that’s just me
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Damn…you’re getting roasted lol…I won’t roast you…
Midnight in my opinion is late to be texting about homework lol, the communication could have happened in the morning, but I wouldn’t think to hard on it, some people are just that way.
U don’t ever have things pop randomly in your head when u finally get to lay ur head on your pillow and breathe?? IT WAS A TEXT, not a damn knock at your door
I don’t have anything nice to say.
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Who doesn’t go over their day the minute your head hits the pillow at night? When it comes to co parenting the high road is the safest to travel in my opinion. Assume nothing and keep everything about the child. Maybe parents can make sure that child lets parents know when homework is done which usually opens doors to fun activities and privileges.
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No I am usually having my wheels spin that late on everything that has or had to be done. She texted about homework that’s it. If it were personal I would understand your concern but I wouldn’t overthink this.
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Life happens. 
As long as it’s strictly about the child, I wouldn’t over think it.
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Omg what is wrong with people! They are co parenting and as for saying “my husband” he was also her husband once and they made a baby. I think this is a gross over reaction to get upset about
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Her son. She can do whatever she pleases.
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If your husband has a problem with it then he should speak up or turn his phone off. If he doesn’t have a problem with it, then ask yourself why do you have an issue with it. Was it just one text, or does this happen often? Do you feel like you get less attention than she does? Is it just about the text or is there a deeper issue 
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Maybe boundaries need to be set?
How does your husband feel about this?
Does it bother him this bad?
Id hope their child didnt answer that late and was in bed… Js
Dont overthink this one.
I can’t speak on Androids, but I do know on our iPhones you can set notification and do not disturb times. It’s easy to set contacts as a “favorite” so if those people call during do not disturb times, it will ring anyway. A text won’t notify but a call would indicate an emergency. I’m sure Android has a silent feature too. Being unbothered by anything between our ‘off’ hours is priceless. Let them text you, who cares, you see it when you see it. Move on from this mindset.
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Maybe she kept forgetting to text him and thought of it then and didnt want to forgot. I mean it was about the kids homework.
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How old is the kid.So wt is husband going to wake him and make him do homework. Need to talk to both your hubby and her together. This time and age she needs to set phone to call kid or hubby at decent hours.
So because their son didn’t answer his phone you don’t think that’s a good enough reason to message his other parent?
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Sometimes you just forget and think of it randomly like oh crap, better use this communication device to communicate. The son didn’t answer so she asked his father. Big deal. Your insecurities are loud as heck right now.
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I’d say she was busy, and only just remembered at that time, and sent that message in the hope the father would see it before their child goes back to school, its a harmless text, if she had sent a I miss you message at that time, then I could understand being upset about that.
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Sometimes parents don’t know about things until this late. She coulda been doing other things and was maybe almost ready to go to bed herself when she checked something or he mentioned to her and it just happened to be that late. I wouldn’t worry to much about it. Unless it was a constant thing over and over again. Then maybe ask him to ask her to keep it time appropriate.
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Maybe you need to set a boundary and tell her she isn’t allowed to worry about, think about it check on HER child past 8pm. Doesn’t that sound ridiculous??
She was probably laying down and had a million things running through her head and remembered about the already overdue homework.
Or maybe she was going through todays emails and saw another email from the teacher about the overdue homework.
I do this often and sometimes send text late at night knowing they won’t be seen until the next morning.
I will check on my kids ANY time of day, period. She wasn’t texting him to ask how his day was or just to chat, she was checking on her kid. Maybe your husband should have ensured he did the homework then sent his mother a text to let her know it was completed so she wasn’t up so late worrying about it still 
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It sounds like you’re not ready to be a stepmom:woman_shrugging:t4: which is the same because it can really be a honor. The text was meant to be harmless and strictly only about to child 
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Maybe she forgot and wanted to make sure it was done before he went to school the following morning. This is completely reasonable in my opinion.
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Texting at anyone at that time is terribly inappropriate.
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Someone dosen’t want to let go
No? I texted my Childrens dad any time of the day or night, it doesn’t mean a thing I see a concerned mum wanting to make sure her child had done his homework
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She might have just remembered. Or got off work. Or whatever. Relax. Someone is a bit insecure.
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I would say it just jumped in her head like oh shit is the homework done.
Have you talked to your hubby and let him know your feeling
As a mom of four, sometimes we just forget. Case in point, my son told me something leaving school Friday, that I completely forgot about on the way home and did not think anything else about it until pulling into the car line Monday morning. It is not unreasonable to think she just forgot. She likely went to bed and then her mind started reminding her of everything she needed to check on. She texted the child first, he didn’t respond, so she reached out to the father. That is a reasonable response. I think you’re overreacting and not considering the many factors that could have led to the late text. It isn’t like she texted some heartfelt message, she asked about the child they share. Maybe there is an underlying reason why this bothers you so bad. I get it, there are people that text/call my husband and it makes me want to crawl out of my skin. (I really just dislike the guy but🤷🏽♀️) But you will have to get past this with the ex as they share a child and have to communicate and sometimes even at midnight
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Lord. Do y’all stay up late usually? Does she know that? She probably forgot about it or something and that’s why she texted so late. I don’t think it’s a big deal… if she was texting just to say hey then yeah maybe… but she was texting about their child and his homework. Overreacting.
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Unless they have a history for you to not trust either, I wouldn’t be upset. I texted my kids baseball parent group at 10:30 the other night because I lost track of time.
If it was only about the homework then I think you are overreacting…yea its annoying and all but it was just about homework…
Also, if you’re taking on the role of stepmom- this is part of it.
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I had to realize it ain’t about me when it came to his kids.
Dude, are you kidding me?? I will text my son’s dad whatever time of the day. He doesn’t care if it has something to do with my son. Now I won’t call after a like 10 so I don’t wake him if he is sleeping. But I will text at 1am if something pops into my head. Do I expect a response right then and there? Nah but if I don’t ask when I’m thinking about it I will forget. His fiance doesn’t get mad. He will respond when he gets around to it. It’s called coparenting. I will call if it’s an emergency at anytime. I will text for anything else that doesn’t need an immediate response. Get over it!! It’s not like she was sending crap like “what you doing?” Or “you wanna come over?”
They are parents! She didn’t want a hookup it was about homework.
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Maybe she’s busy and that’s when the thought popped in her head? As a mom, I know evening and late at night is usually when I have those oh no thoughts! Lol
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Not really any of your business. If he has a problem with it he can say something to her, but you need to stay out of it.
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Hey I text last minute to my kids father sometimes, and the only reason being is about them , as parents our minds are on a thousand different things 
and soon as I remember what I was trying to remember earlier I act on it 
maybe you’re a little insecure about something?
I text my ex when I’m thinking about the subject, or I’ll forget. I work 3rds, he works 1st, neither of us really sleep much and we talk to the kids every night on each other’s weeks and sometimes talk then too if we need to. He’ll text me really late or super early too 
my fiancé doesn’t have a problem with it and I assume his gf(?) doesn’t either. It’s for the kids, they always come first big or small issue
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They have a child together, they will have to communicate regardless so whether its 11pm or 11am does it really matter? She was just being a concerned mother. You’re definitely overreacting. Either get used to it or your relationship will not last, I speak from experience.
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Wow. Sometimes people forget and then message when they remember. Get. Over. It.
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She make have been getting ready for bed her self and thought oh crap, I hope he got his homework done. And when the son didn’t answer, she texted his father. I don’t see the big deal. If it was too late and your husband was already in bed, he could wait to respond in the morning. But for you, I don’t get the the big deal. Are you worried that the homework was just a excuse to see if it was a good time to talk? If so, that is a trust issue with your husband. If not, and it was just about the homework, so what, your overreacting.
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Don’t be that person.
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Sometimes time gets away from us. I text people at all house of the day and night as they respond when they can, but if it something like that and my kid didn’t answer, I would text their dad and their 3 other siblings, especially if I know they are all together or I ask have you seen so and so….tell them to answer their phone.
11:30 on a Saturday? He didn’t have school the next day, and if she needed to do it while she was “thinking about it” then she could have done a scheduled text message for him to receive the text Sunday morning, or she could have set herself a reminder or set an alert reminding herself to send it the next day.
However, like someone else said…if he has an issue then he can talk to her about it. I have 3 step children that live with us full time and my husband is a big boy and can handle it if there is an issue. I could care less what time she texts him or what she texts him. I trust him completely and she is not a threat to me whatsoever.
I have to say this post is a bit petty. Coparenting can be tough. I’d say stay out of it unless it starts to affect your relationship.
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U need to reign in your insecurities
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You’re honestly over reacting. The fact that she tried to text the son FIRST, just shows she has no ulterior motive in texting your husband.
That’s probably just when the school thing popped in her head. There’s nothing wrong with what happened.
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Jealousy won’t get you anywhere. This is kinda ridiculous to be upset over. There have been times I’ve done the same thing, got busy and didn’t think of it until I laid down to go to bed. If she’s not typically high conflict and they can effectively coparent, for your own sake I would let this go otherwise it’s gonna cause tension between all of you which in turn hurts the child. Let it go.
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She may have just forgotten and remembered before bed. It seems like an innocent enough question and she tried asking her son first
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Petty much?? Pick & choose your battles more wisely 
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I don’t know if you have school age children but my son won’t give me his flooded when he gets him, even after I ask him for it. So sometimes I don’t get a chance to go threw it till after dinner, baths, and bedtime. Sometimes I don’t realize it till after midnight. I’ve emailed his teachers at 1am before because I lost track of time. She was asking about late homework. Maybe the teacher emailed her and she didn’t get a chance to read it till late.
calm down you’re with a guy who is coparenting I’m sure they don’t get along or they’d still be together
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You can not be serious?? Their child is his priority. She texted about their child not just to chat.
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I swear you’d think they were in the middle of sex and he pulled out to answer the phone. Honestly I don’t understand how men put up with all of the clingy possessive behavior some of these women come with.
<—— Being a mom that remembers things last min while I’m finally in bed 
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My ex husband and I,use to do this.Even during the week when he had visits or when it was my week.Maybe she forgot during the day and remembered at that time.
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I’m very thankful that my ex & his new girlfriend are night owls.
I work 2 jobs and go to school, if I text them at any time (believe me I do) it’s because in that moment I thought about it.
I understand that it’s frustrating. But maybe if you mention that it was too late, she can make an adjustment to the way she communicates?
If she doesn’t know there’s a problem she won’t stop doing it
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If this is what you have to complain about you’re lucky.
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This is petty. She’s literally asking about they’re child she’s not doing anything but being a good mother.
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I’d talk to your husband about some boundaries of him responding to her super late, bc you can’t really control her texting him.
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I see absolutely nothing wrong with this. She did try to text their son first and he didn’t respond, and it could be that it randomly popped in her head that is why she texted him that late. I know there are times where I randomly think about things and go oh crap i need to get ahold of this person. Since they are the parents of course they are going to communicate with each other. Things shouldn’t always go through the kid even if he has a phone. There are things that as his parents they need to discuss together.
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What’s the point to late already maybe should think about the the kids more often like at happy hour:thinking:
My face reading this post yiiikes. I hope my kids dads gf isn’t like this, I’m so forgetful lool
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You can’t say you completely understand then say whyyyy?..
We all sit in bed late at night thinking of last minute things we forget about during the day.
You sound a bit possessive really get a grip 
and pick your battles better or your going to cause a void between your husband his child and the mother of his child over your own insecurities
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Grow up and let them co parent…ffs ppl like you make it hard.
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She probably forgot and remembered that moment. Lordy have mercy this is ridiculous.
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I think you’re over reacting. She texted their son and he didn’t respond so she texted his dad to make sure it was getting taken care of. Calm down.
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Definitely don’t see this as an issue at all. He can put his phone on do not disturb mode at a certain time if it bothers him. We coparent on both sides so it’s not uncommon to get texts at odd hours communicating any of our children. Based off of your reaction I would assume there is possibly a larger issue?
This would be a non-issue for me.
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I am thinking you have some insecurities. I can tell you as the ex in a similar relationship if my daughter doesn’t answer I will text my ex husband to get the info. I also have other children to take care of so sometimes I don’t get a chance or I forget until late in the evening and I will send a text. It’s up to them to get back to me immediately or the next day. It doesn’t sound like it’s that big of a deal.
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She might’ve been busy earlier and when finally settled down, shot him a text right quick. It’s 11 pm , their son shouldn’t have his phone and should be sleep for school.
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Being a mother who has co-parented my son’s whole life, I would say as long as their conversations are purely about the child , then there shouldn’t be an issue . Maybe her schedule got hectic and like you said she texted their son first . Kids are going to try their hardest to stay out of the middle and they shouldn’t have to be. Just try to he understanding when it comes to their child bc they will sense your issues with their mother and that will only hurt or hinder your relationship . Did this bother your partner that she messaged him? I think she was just being a mom and wanted make sure it was taken care of. Put yourself in her shoes or his and not have your child all the time it’s hard to make sure it all gets done I know I’ve been there and had to deal with a crazy step mom on top of it . Don’t make it anymore harder than it is ! Head up !
It’s inconvenient. If it’s a regular occurrence maybe different. But…
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Oh my god! This is the stupidest thing to get mad over. They need to communicate. And it wasn’t inappropriate at all.
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Petty! You sound jealous and insecure
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Was the work completed? If it wasn’t, calling at 11:30 PM doesn’t give him enough time to complete it now. Talk to your husband. 11:30 PM calls can be annoying, but it is also an easy fix. Have him set boundaries with his ex. Perhaps he can call her to assure her the HW is done… of course this should be at an agreed upon time. Ask if a text from Dad to ex would suffice. Good luck👍🏼
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Lol what? I randomly think of things at midnight too and I text knowing I won’t get a response until morning.
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As a co parent myself, this is not an issue at all. Communication is key and sometimes it is at 1130 at night when we have the time or remember because, well, life. She waited for a response from her son before texting his dad, not that that matters.
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