A random number texted me telling me my spouse was seen with his ex: Advice?

If a person using a private number/text app messaged you are saying you’re SO is cheating on you, would you believe them? This morning I received a message from an unknown number saying they saw my bf with his ex a couple of days ago. I called the number, and it said it was a Text Now (an app) number. Here’s a little backdrop of our story: we have been together on/off for over three years - he’s had a past of going back and forth between me and his other children’s mother. However, we’ve been back together for about a year now, and things are honestly better than they’ve ever been. Also, his other BM and her friend randomly message me from texting apps (because I have their numbers and Facebook blocked) to harass me. So, I’m conflicted as to whether or not to believe the message from this morning. Yes, he’s had a past of going behind my back; I thought we moved past all of that and are in a good place now, but I guess it is ‘possible.’ I just really feel like it’s the ex and her friend trying to cause us problems, but I don’t want to be wrong and look stupid. Obviously, you can’t tell me whether or not he’s cheating, but if you and your SO were in a good place and someone randomly messaged you that they were cheating, but they had no proof and would not reveal who they are, would YOU believe them?!

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Trust your gut once a cheat, always a cheat imo :confused:

Find out day and time they saw him!!

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. A random number texted me telling me my spouse was seen with his ex: Advice? - Mamas Uncut

I’d believe it. They’re probably close to him and dont want to be ratted out for trying to do the right thing by telling you.

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Possibly. I would at least talk with him and trust you’re gut feeling from the conversation

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I’d ask for pictures it could be her being a bitch trying to cause problems

Why would you even give this jerk another chance in the first place

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Whatever your gut tells you is right. Trust it. Even if it’s not what you wanna hear

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I’d move on from the drama! You’ve been through nonsense already “why” not know your worth and move on from nonsense of this. :roll_eyes::woman_facepalming::woman_shrugging:

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My boyfriend and I are in a good place and having a baby who was planned. And his other baby momma made a Facebook with his name and profile and messaged her self making it seem like he was saying all this horrible stuff. And when I went and looked for this other fb it said it was made 40 minutes ago. He was driving when these so called messages were sent. So he wouldn’t be able to send a message at the time she was saying he was messaging all this stuff.

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Sounds like it’s the Ex letting you know she’s still fucking with your husband.

I would see who it is saying it first before I jump off the ledge of conclusions and before I confront him and find out their motives as to why they would be telling me this…

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I’d tell the people texting you to give you proof, or leave you alone. Start reporting the numbers as spam and save all contact in case you end up having to try to go after someone for harassment (if you can figure out who it is, of course).

If you feel like it wouldn’t just cause more trouble (Which it shouldn’t as communication should be 100% open in any relationship and everyone should be mature enough to handle the conversation), ask him yourself. Show him what you’ve been sent, say you don’t really know what to make of it, and let him tell you what’s going on. Sure, he might not tell the truth, but if you think he’s going to lie to you and you can’t trust him, then you probably shouldn’t be with him. If there’s no trust, there isn’t a strong foundation, there’s really not much of a relationship.

Ask for proof, talk to him, and decide from there what you want to do with all of that info. Only you know whether or not he is actually changed and trustworthy.

I would believe there’s some kind of connection. But immature people also cause drama out of no where. I would speak with your SO and tell him that you take this very seriously and it affects the way the relationship is because of past experience. If he there for you he will show you there’s nothing to worry about.

Yes I would believe them. Someone wanted you to know without getting involved and they took the time to make a text now number to make sure you knew what was going on.

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If you have to ask, I think you already know. :grimacing::grimacing::grimacing: Sorry :cry:

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Put the social media down and be pro active and present in your own relationship, you will find out faster if put your entire instincts that you were born with into gear. The simplest way to answer this is if you have to ask this question then you already know the answer. If you didn’t have social media would you trust him?

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I’d never gate myself enough to put me through this.

I wouldn’t believe it, but I however would have my radar up without letting him know it’s up. Pay attention to whether any of his stories seem fishy or if things don’t add up. If everything seems completely normal and you don’t have any weird gut feelings I’d say someone is stirring the pot.

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Me personally no I wouldn’t just believe a random text unless it had proof to back it up. I’d just be more suspicious

I wonder why you were even with him before this happened!

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I would show the text to him.

Nope/ I’d text back and say “pics or it never happened “

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This has happened to me multiple times :sweat::disappointed: I still don’t know if it was true or not I confronted my significant other and we broke up a few times because of it but never really got down to the facts so :woman_shrugging:t3:hasn’t happened in a while though my other half swears it’s just girls who are trying to fuck with me but you always wonder totally understandable and stressful

I would believe my husband until he gave me a reason not too!

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if you sense signs like staying out late, being secretive ect then hell yeah I’d believe it but if he’s showing he’s loyal then you have no reason to accuse him of anything

Just be honest with your man. Let him know this number texted you with information and you want to know if it’s true.

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You should be able to text that number back. Find out details if you can. I found out from a fake fb page and a text app number that the person I had been with over 5 years was cheating. I never thought ever that he would, but he was. I given the number to female he was screwing around with. I found out for myself. Sucks, but good luck.

Just show him the message and be like “hah hey look at this” and if he reacts in a distancing manner, he’s guilty.

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With textnow numbers, anyone can make it with an email, even if it’s new. So it’s very possible it’s the ex messing with you, but it’s also equally possible that it’s true and you probably need to talk to him and show him the text and ask him to be honest. If he gets defensive, then it’s probably true. If hes calm and understanding about why it upsets you and calmly says no, and idk who would send that besides to mess with you, then it’s probably not a true accusation. I wish you the best.

My husband got a call from a random number saying that I was seen with another man keep in mind nobody really knew my husbands number other than his bitter baby mama or a friend who would just straight up tell him from their actual number. Probably just somebody trying to stir shit up

I would mention it to be that you received the message. You dont have to sound accusatory but you can see how they react and go from there.

If they don’t have proof and refuse to provide an answer to who they are they are probably lying

Show him the messages and see his response and maybe screen shot them for reference to dates and times and number

I would never be with someone who cheated on me and got caught. I’m worth more!

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I would bring it up to him ~ and I agree NOT in an accusatory tone. If there’s no proof and you go off accusing him right off the bat it’s going to look bad on you in the long run. People CAN change ~ but only if THEY want to. Listen to your inner self … women all have some intuitiveness in them … it just depends on whether we want to believe it or not.

Ask him. Show him the text and let him know you got it. It’s probably the ex trying to start problems in your relationship

Tbh with all the back and forth and dram this guy had created I would have left the relationship a long time ago if I were you but that’s just me

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I’d just show him the phone and say why am I getting these and watch his reaction…I’m sure you know if he’s lying or not.

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Ask for proof, if they can’t provide you proof, ask him and hopefully he will be upfront about it. If you don’t feel as if you can trust him tho, why are you with him? :woman_shrugging:t2: a relationship without trust is a dead end street

I wouldn’t believe it

If he’s cheated before then yes I’d believe it. In my experience, even if things seem good it doesn’t mean he’s not going behind your back. It just means he’s gotten better at hiding it. My ex and I had an off/on relationship too and the last time we got back together I thought things were better than they’d ever been too…until he randomly left me for her while the kids and I were at a wedding…

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If he’s done it before, he can do it again. Also, if his ex and friends are constantly harassing you, why don’t you change your number? They can’t text you if they don’t have your number.

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Prob playing games but since he has a history of it do ur own homework lol

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Honey, you need to drop that man like a hot rock, whether things are good or not! Two baby mommas and he goes back and forth between them and you? Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. No man is worth that. You’re worth more than that! Are you really so desperate to be in a relationship you’re willing to put up with all this baby momma drama? If so, you need to ask yourself why, and why and why you don’t feel you deserve better.

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The whole relationship sounds toxic af. There’s no point continuing it either way

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If you’ve been on and off and he would go back with her, I would think he’d just leave again if he was gonna be with her and not sneak around. Maybe she’s just trying to cause drama. Show him the message and see how he reacts.

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Don’t assume. Never assume. I know a girl that lied to a girl her ex was with saying they hooked up when they’d hadn’t because she wanted him back. There are crazy people out there. Show him and talk to him about it.

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I am so glad I gave up on drama years ago.

Just reading this is stressing me out. My advice would be to remove yourself from a situation with so much complex, negative energy. Period.

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Check the call & text logs on his phone! :wink: determine if he has been messaging said #! Good luck! :four_leaf_clover:

Probably ex playing games. I’d bring it up to him. I would also change your number so ex and friends can’t harass

The bottom line- do you trust him? There can’t be any wishy washy. You either trust him or you don’t. If you can’t trust him and be secure…what are you doing there?

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Would all depend for me. Where was he at the time they claim this happened. Was he home or someplace you know for a fact he would be etc then again whoever knows the ex why would they care to tell you Bc most likely anyone friends with her that knows her most likely are on “her side” and see you as the “enemy” best bet is to just confront him with it. Or try to have someone else call that number to see who answers.

You are worth more than this. Once a cheater always a cheater.

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This has happened to me but on Facebook messenger. Waited and waited and waited for the proof they had, they had even apparently talked to my mom and had shown her screenshots of him texting the person’s cousin. Never got any proof lol

You decide your own worth. I always add tax… You’re not adding the tax. Leave his ass and see what his true colours are. Buh bye…

no. show text to him.

I would believe it and investigate further. Obviously somebody wants you to know he’s cheating regardless of who it is I’d want to know.
If it was a bf you’d stay with the guy and ruin a friendship.

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If they have kids together it’s a given that they have to see each other

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I wouldn’t jump to accusing him because you might not get anywhere. What I would do is sit on it & really start paying close attention to him, his actions & what he’s doing. Sometimes it we don’t want to see what are heart already knows. If you do start to see differences then I would bring it to him with evidence & walk away. I’ve done the back & forth it’s not worth it. He’s not going to change it’s best to move on & hurt that once then to allow someone to keep hurting you over & over. Best of luck

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Personally, if my husband had a history of going back and forth between ex and I, I would be a little untrusting of him, especially after that random text but at the same time, I’d probably want to think it’s just the ex wanting to be stupid.

You said he went back and forth, was it cheating or just going back to her when you guys would be off? (Since you said you guys were on and off a lot)

I would show him the message and just see what he says, how he reacts, etc…

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Pic or it didn’t happen

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No, show him the text.
I think they are trying to stir up shit.

Text it back no picture no proof and move on until you have an actual fact to work with

That’s so weird because two days ago and random number texted me and asked me by name and I asked who it was and got no response. Then when I called the number they told me my husband was cheating and hung up on me. When it sent to voicemail it was a different number so they were using a text app as well to disguise their real number. My husband and I have been married almost 5 years and he’s never been that type of person to even give me a thought that he cheated. I told him about it and he thought it was funny. So odd you got that too.

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I would check it out. A co worker was having a affair with one of her friends husband. Apparently the other wife was aware. Call/ text this woman’s husband & told him. He waited for her in the lobby of her work. He knew they were in the car during lunch hr. So he waited & in she walks with her friend’s husband , all happy & all. Her husband stands up & walks out . Yes they got a divorce & she did marry the guy. So just sort of follow them or hire someone todo this then leave him

If you gut feeling is doubting… you already have the answer. Only you can decide. Sending you lots of hugs and strength. Remember you are worth everything

Girl you a should’ve left that man or should I say boy the last time he went back to his BM. Definitely not stable for you or the kids. Move on babe

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Someone went to the trouble of getting ahold of your number and sending you a message… it’s hard to imagine it’s just some joke…

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Honestly why didn’t they snap a picture and send it? Seems shady like baby mama trying to start drama. Sorry you’re dealing with this. I’d tell my SO about it but not in an accusing way. I’d just say I got this weird message and see what he thinks

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Ask for pics see if they can prove it!

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I would also want to know where his whereabouts were on said night. But also if they have your number and you called their number back and nobody answered, it seems like it’s kinda fishy. I mean first of all if it’s not them and it’s somebody else (somebody with a legitimate concern to help you) how did they get your number? Secondly, if it is somebody legitimately trying to tell you, wouldn’t they have answered their phone or called you back? I would bring it up to him calmly, discuss it. Honestly his reaction should tell you. Discuss his whereabouts, etc. And go from there. Then immediately change your number. Also I just thought of this but you could always download the text now app and use it to call the number and see who answers. Then you can always delete the app.

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It all depends on if you trust your partner. If you are even questioning it then obviously you don’t fully trust your boyfriend. I would one block that app and two I would straight up just ask him about it. If that happened to me no I would not believe it because one I trust my husband with everything I have and two none of his exes live in the same state as us.

You don’t wanna be wrong and look stupid? Girl letting this fool go back and forth with you and his ex makes everyone involved look stupid.

Leave him and find someone who actually wants to just be with YOU AND ONLY YOU. You deserve better than some pos who doesn’t even know who or what he wants

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My husbands ex did that way back in the MySpace era. Lol. 4 years into our relationship (there was no back and forth tho, only me) I had a friend request and this “person” befriended me from a fake profile and once they thought we were friends they proceeded to tell me that they knew a guy who had a girlfriend with 2 kids and they felt bad because he was cheating on the girlfriend and she didn’t know. Basically insinuating that my man was sneaking around with his ex and his girl (me) had no idea. I immediately knew it was a lie. They couldn’t come with receipts for one and two, they said he would sneak off and cheat at night. My husband won’t even lay to rest if I’m not there. LIES. All this person is trying to do is destroy your relationship. Because that’s exactly what they tried doing to mine. Change your phone number and you should be good. I would not believe them without recepits/evidence.

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If they saw them and going to the trouble to get text now and message you they would have taken a picture. While it’s possible that he may be, I wouldnt get worked up about this without a pic. Sounds like the Ex trying to stir the pot so you’ll give him the boot hoping he’ll go back with her.

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Ask him straight up, were you with so & so

Hostility, rambling for an excuse… you know him better than any of us whether he’s lying or not.

If it is true & he lies about it, I wouldn’t go nuts. I’d wait for the proof and I’m sure it’ll come out. Always does.

Same EXACT situation goin on over here… Except im the ‘baby mama’
Believe the text…

Once a cheater always a cheater

I think you need to show your SO the text and be like with our past issues I wanted to hear your side before I jumped to conclusions. You know the ex and her friend have tried to harass you in the past so jumping to conclusions solves nothing. A relationship can not thrive without trust. I say have a conversation with him and then go from there.

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What do your instincts tell you? Every woman knows when their partner is cheating. It’s just a matter of do you want to believe it or not

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Tell him what happened. Gauge his reaction.

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I would confornt him, show him the message and see how he reacts.

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What’s done in the dark will come to the light. And when it comes to the light you push them back into the dark for good and keep moving forward.

I’d ask for proof and then when there wasn’t any, I’d block that number too, if there is proof, we’ll that’s a little harder

If they saw your man with his ex they would have taken a picture no? I would say she’s jealous and trying to start problems

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Take a few steps back and quietly investigate it yourself. Don’t blindly follow what someone anonymously says. Maybe that’s his way of telling you. Or even hers. But no matter what trust your gut. If you think he’s messin around with her again distance yourself especially until there’s proof otherwise.

Its someone that doesn’t want him knowing it was them. So either someone who is upset with him for his actions, or maybe a friend of the exes that wants to see them get back together. Either way, I’d take the fake number as the sender being close to the situation, not as it being fake.

i would question it, and my husband. we have a past together. but like with ur relationship, its gotten much better. ur SO reaction will tell u :woman_shrugging:t2:

Show him the texts …watch his reactions …ask his explanation .to whom would do this and WHY. …watch his reactions pay more attention to that then his words. Add it all up …and you’ll know the TRUTH.

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I’ve had this happen before with the same type of number (text now). Someone told me my boyfriend was cheating on me with them…. But wouldn’t pull up to Walmart when I told her to so I could beat her ass :joy: come to find out, it was his ex gf he broke up with because she stole his PS4 and games

Talk to them and say what happened. You’ll be able to tell if he’s lying or not.

Pics or it didn’t happen

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Lol don’t be the girl that stays and looks stupid .

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Track him and find out for yourself.

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Sounds like someone trying to start drama. I’d say, “Please be woman enough to talk to me about it, otherwise have a great day.”

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Trust your gut instinct

It’s all about how he reacts. If he gets mad and defensive well then you have your answer.

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It would bear further scrutiny, especially if he’s done similar in the past. Start digging, most cheaters are sloppy.

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